Thanks farmerchick! I see you don't post often and I appreciate your experience.farmerchick wrote:Bee...First off...You have been given excellent advice/commentary and you don't need mine....but I feel I should give it. I am far to experienced with bad relationships than I would like to admit, but I have been happily (not perfectly) married for the last 13 years. I found out two important things..one has been said and that is you can only change yourself and the second thing is You train people how to treat you. I didn't like that last concept so well when someone pointed it out to me, but I found out it was true. If we except behavior that we don't approve of we get more of it. (just like children) If we don't except it and tell our spouse/children/parents ect, in a loving reasonable way, why and how it affects us and if they love us, They can/will change themselves. A wise woman doesn't talk alot, but she expects as good as she gives, and will take nothing less. Believe me that woman gets what she wants! You are awesome and you can have an awesome happy marriage...remember behind every great man is a greater woman....that is the truth. It really does take two to tango...great analogy.
We have been married 39 years. Married in the Temple, served diligently, etc. There have been a couple of times I got a funny feeling, but I soon felt my feeling was wrong. I agree that behind every great man is a great woman. Un-fortunately my husband served in the military ( no excuse) and
picked up some bad habits. I thought he was over them, apparently I was wrong. I am an assertive woman, my husband was raised in the church and agreed that we wanted to raise our children in a strong home, a home with scripture study, family home evening, pay tithing, attend the temple,
and it worked out well. Our son served an honorable mission and daughters married in the Temple and are wonderful women, raising strong families themselves. This has blind-sided me, and even though it was some time ago, its new to me.
While serving as YW President, I was often gone to girls camp, youth conferences, temple trips, treks, in other words, I was busy and gone from home a lot. My husband is such a good man, but even the best can make mistakes, we all can.
Everyday I am getting better and stronger. I have been reading, we are going to a counselor, and praying. Thank-you for taking the time to reply, as you said, I have been receiving excellent advice.