When it Doesn't Happen

[brianj]

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

How do you reconcile this scripture when something that seems right, that feels desperately needed, and that you have been diligently fasting and praying for is not given?

[LdsMarco]

Sometimes the things we think we need are not exactly what God thinks we need. At least, not right now.

THE BOOK OF ETHER
CHAPTER 12
6 And now, I, Moroni, would speak somewhat concerning these things; I would show unto the world that faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith.

[MMbelieve]

I wonder if that scripture is referring to finding Christ and the way of his gospel truths and not necessarily the things WE think it applies to? It's a thought I had after reading it.

[gardener4life]

Thanks for commenting on this to Marco.

And to Brian this is a really good question. Sometimes people will pray faithfully for something their entire lives and wonder why it's not given yet. But the reasons for waiting are to save us not hurt us. Some people pray about the loss of a wife, or husband. Some pray about why they lost children, or why they lost jobs or careers. Some people pray about their children that fell away.

Some of the things we pray for are righteous desires and we don't always know why we have to wait for those things.

I think some of the reasons why we don't get some things in this life is because this world, or receive them yet is like being behind enemy lines spiritually and the Lord wants to give us those things when we're 'safe' and not being spiritually shot at so it can last. Sometimes we're living worthy and we're being prepared for something bigger and better the Lord wants to give you. I think a lot of people fall into that. Maybe you are really close to getting what you pray for. Sometimes he just wants to feel closer to you. Or maybe he wants to give it but you need to understand something first.

But answers to prayers really exist. They are true. You can get the things you pray and have needs for.

It can hurt to have to wait for some things that we want. But the Lord hasn't forgotten us. And he's aware of all of our pains. He is aware of every hurt done to us and every tear is measured. Everything we seek in prayer he remembers. We're that important to him. He doesn't take it lightly. He also knows you. (The gospel is both INDIVIDUAL and collectively organized. It's beautiful) He won't forget us. We just have to hang in there a bit longer. He didn't forget Job. Job kept the faith. Will we do likewise?

I also like Ether 12:6. It's a wonderful scripture.

It really does come down to what Marco said. Just trust him until you can get to closer to him. (And seek him first before seeking what you need if you want to get it quicker.)

Don't give up. And please believe and recognize that the Savior is aware of your suffering and that of anyone praying to him about their needs. Draw near unto him and he will give you rest. When you feel the pains and sufferings of this world then it's time to especially seek him. This is a good time to go to the temple when you are under such feeling, so you can feel the Spirit and let him comfort you. Even if you don't have reccomend to go inside the temple a lot of people will pray and read scriptures in the gardens outside of them. The Spirit is strong there.

https://www.lds.org/scriptures/dc-testa ... 1?lang=eng

Prayerfully consider D&C 121.

Also please listen to this talk by President Monson. This is absolutely my favorite talk and is just for a question like yours. And when I'm down or in a serious mode, I listen to this talk.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/ ... e?lang=eng

When you are ready, he may show you what he intends to give you. This was my answer. When I prayed about something, he mercifully gave me a promise and a glimpse of something I was praying for. IT was true. That's all I can say. But he is full of mercy and love.

[True]

I just memorized this scripture and I think it is beautiful and may apply:

D&C 78:
18 And ye cannot bear all things now; nevertheless, be of good cheer, for I will lead you along. The kingdom is yours and the blessings thereof are yours, and the riches of eternity are yours.
19 And he who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious; and the things of this earth shall be added unto him, even an hundred fold, yea, more.

[Rand]

DC 111:11 Therefore, be ye as wise as serpents and yet without sin; and I will order all things for your good, as fast as ye are able to receive them. Amen.

[brianj]

I don't want to give information that could identify the individuals in question, but one minor relative is being severely psychologically abused by an adult relative. I have no legal ability to get that victim out of their environment, and have been fasting and praying for them to be freed from current circumstances. Instead of seeing those prayers answered, I come to learn the victim is seriously contemplating suicide. And I believe the abuser is sick enough that they would consider it a personal victory if the victim did off himself, in addition to having a personality that would bask in all the attention received when their poor baby dies.

I really don't think that praying for someone to be freed from an abusive situation before being abused to the point of suicide is something they and I don't need. And I really don't want the victim to be delivered from their personal hell through the sin of murdering him/herself.

[brianj]

And one other thing: how do you handle it when you are 100%, totally, completely alone?

I go to the temple every single week. And every single time I participate in an endowment, I participate in a prayer circle. Not because there is anything compelling about the prayer circle that gets me up there weekly, but because the only physical contact I have with other people in a typical week is a little bit of holding hands in the temple, and being in the prayer circle more than doubles the amount of contact I will receive. Some days I would give anything for a hug, or even for somebody to just put their hand on my shoulder for a few seconds and express some encouragement.

I have heard people describe praying for something like that and feeling a hug or a hand on their shoulder. For reasons not known to me, I don't receive such a response to my prayers. I just feel more alone in the silence and absence.

[Juliet]

I flipped open to D&C 98. I think it was made for you.

[BruceRGilbert]

HOLD

[DesertWonderer2]

My heart truly goes out to you and your small friend. As soon as I’m done with this I’ll add my faith through prayer in your and that small person’s behalf.

Regarding the small person: call The local department of child protective services; talk to the bishop; communicate with other family members related to this person.

Regarding you: You said you interact w no one during week? Are you attending church regularly? Is there a singles FHE you could be attending? Ask the bishop to give you a calling. The canneries and bishop storehouses are always looking for volunteers.

May God be w you.

[h_p]

My heart goes out to you, brother. It's times like this where there simply does not seem to be any good answers. Or at least, any answers that satisfy. I, too, am praying for blessings that just don't seem to be coming, though I can in no way compare my situation to yours. All we can do is be patient, and keep our trust in Christ.

[Arenera]

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

How do you reconcile this scripture when something that seems right, that feels desperately needed, and that you have been diligently fasting and praying for is not given?

Elder Scott gave a talk on the Holy Ghost. If an answer isn't given, God is trusting you to make the decision.

[Michelle]

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

How do you reconcile this scripture when something that seems right, that feels desperately needed, and that you have been diligently fasting and praying for is not given?

Elder Scott gave a talk on the Holy Ghost. If an answer isn't given, God is trusting you to make the decision.

Some decisions are out of our hands.

[Sarah]

And one other thing: how do you handle it when you are 100%, totally, completely alone?

I go to the temple every single week. And every single time I participate in an endowment, I participate in a prayer circle. Not because there is anything compelling about the prayer circle that gets me up there weekly, but because the only physical contact I have with other people in a typical week is a little bit of holding hands in the temple, and being in the prayer circle more than doubles the amount of contact I will receive. Some days I would give anything for a hug, or even for somebody to just put their hand on my shoulder for a few seconds and express some encouragement.

I have heard people describe praying for something like that and feeling a hug or a hand on their shoulder. For reasons not known to me, I don't receive such a response to my prayers. I just feel more alone in the silence and absence.

I'm sorry you are having to endure all this hardship, Brian. If I could, I would give you a hug. You're doing the right thing by going to the temple, and praying for your family member. Have you tried getting into family history work? I'm not doing as much as I used to, but the other day I spent the morning searching out a hint from familysearch and found a handful of people in one morning to have their work done. It was the greatest feeling in the world to know I was helping others and glorifying God.

One thing you can try is to focus on going to the temple and serving with an eye single to His glory, with no thought of what you will receive in return, and like was pointed out earlier, to have a heart filled with thanksgiving even when you feel so many things lacking in your life right now.

[Crackers]

It feels like your OP has described the story of my life with regard to certain issues. Righteous desires, both for myself and others, that seem to go unanswered, for years and even decades. I have handled it better at some times more than others. It helps to see that my prayers are answered at least on some other issues, so I know that the heavens are not totally sealed from me. I don't know what the answer is. Maybe just time, maybe a it's test, maybe it's something I need to learn so that I can in turn help someone else. Sometimes I just feel a little bit like Job. Hang in there and look for small things you can do to help things along.

[BruceRGilbert]

BrianJ, I extend my love to you. One can only perceive what one is or has been. There is much revelation in what you have shared and my heart is grieved and saddened by the circumstances which surround your quest; your love and concern for another. Through the eyes of perception, I discern a greater awareness on your part. Certainly I can share in a review of things which you already know - I know you have been there and that you have been thorough in your examinations and prayers. With our mouths, we ask. With our eyes, we seek. With our hands, we knock. "Knocking" and "acting" brings things into reality in the real world. "If it is meant to be, it is up to me." You have now taken steps "in the real world," by sharing that which is in your heart. AWARENESS brings focus. Don't despair. God's hands and "hands" will be observed in the subtleties of change. May you have eyes to discern the effectual opening of doors. God bless you, Brother.

[brianj]

Thank you all for the responses. I will address a few of your comments here.

Regarding the small person: call The local department of child protective services; talk to the bishop; communicate with other family members related to this person.

Regarding you: You said you interact w no one during week? Are you attending church regularly? Is there a singles FHE you could be attending? Ask the bishop to give you a calling. The canneries and bishop storehouses are always looking for volunteers.

The mother of the small person is LDS but not active, cohabitating with her fiance even though she is married. She is narcissistic and has borderline personality disorder, and she has cut off contact with family members who don't enable her delusions about life. I am aware of at least five CPS investigations in the last eight months, but I'm not confident they will act before it's too late.

Regarding myself, I said I have no physical interaction outside the temple. In our church we don't hug or even shake hands much. I have someone I can call infrequently, I have superficial conversations at work, once a month a group I belong to meets at a restaurant for dinner, and at best once per moth I am able to see a friend in person. As far as touch, I have very brief physical contact when I am paying for something in a store and the clerk hands my my change, or a couple minutes of holding hands in the temple.

Elder Scott gave a talk on the Holy Ghost. If an answer isn't given, God is trusting you to make the decision.

As someone else said, some decisions are not up to us. I don't have the legal ability to pull the kid out of their situation. I don't believe there is a single action I can take to change the situation. So I need Heavenly Father to do things that will get the kid to a safe environment, but I have not seen anything happen and now I know the kid is suicidal.

I'm sorry you are having to endure all this hardship, Brian. If I could, I would give you a hug. You're doing the right thing by going to the temple, and praying for your family member. Have you tried getting into family history work? I'm not doing as much as I used to, but the other day I spent the morning searching out a hint from familysearch and found a handful of people in one morning to have their work done. It was the greatest feeling in the world to know I was helping others and glorifying God.

One thing you can try is to focus on going to the temple and serving with an eye single to His glory, with no thought of what you will receive in return, and like was pointed out earlier, to have a heart filled with thanksgiving even when you feel so many things lacking in your life right now.

I have been going to the temple weekly for over a year now. And I have gotten into family history work, but even that is a source of significant discouragement for me. Only one person has taken one of my female ancestors for an endowment, in the last two years, even though I have at least two dozen waiting and I have made frequent requests for help. Two people have agreed to take names for me, one in July and one in September, and I gave each four names but neither has performed a single endowment for me.

I really don't think about what I might get out of going to the temple. I mostly go so I can put names on the prayer roll, including my own name. But I do desperately wish I could go with other people. There are things about initiatories, endowments, and sealings that I have observed and wondered about that I really want to discuss with someone else, but I don't have that opportunity.

[drtanner]

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

How do you reconcile this scripture when something that seems right, that feels desperately needed, and that you have been diligently fasting and praying for is not given?

We really only need one thing. Everything else is a means to that end as difficult as it may seem in the moment.

[gardener4life]

This is also why there has to be a Second Coming.

There are many situations that need to be fixed for the innocent. It's a need that he comes and that he will bind up the broken hearted. It's good there's people like you that would care about a small person being hurt. That shows we're worth being saved if we can notice that something isn't right and deserves better.

[jh36m]

Ok heres one.. You know, i dont have to tell you that if you love God with all your heart, he''ll be close to you, he'll GIVE you what you need, But HE says.. "When you are in the service of your fellow men you are ONLY in the service of me" So not JUST service, not JuST productive, but LOVE, he gave you life, and to live, Gods way is for one purpose, he says to have JOY. And you'll know when it happens, , You'll live, , and be filled.
Your whole life will make sense, you'll learn,, You knock, Ya and it says It will be opened to you, but GOSH, I've seen door open, then another...

[watchthewatchers]

D&C 88
64 Whatsoever ye ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you;

65 And if ye ask anything that is not expedient for you, it shall turn unto your condemnation.

[Rand]

Brian, in a situation like this it is hard to share, because it can come across crosswise, rather than how it is intended. You are in my prayers. The first thought is "whom the Lord loveth, the Lord Chasteneth", and He is.
"Thine adversity and thine afflication shall be but a small moment..." Endure Brother!
Thirdly, can you reach out in love to the abuser? It seems to me that they are the broken one here. Maybe your kindness and compassion to them might bring more ease and relief to the "abused" party than anything else. The admonition to love our enemy is indeed a powerful one. I'll end with Luke 6:38... give and it shall be given to you..." If we are always giving love, we are always surrounded in love. Blessings dear Brother.

[shadow]

It's a struggle, Brian.

10 And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames.

11 But Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.

[Rose Garden]

Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.

How do you reconcile this scripture when something that seems right, that feels desperately needed, and that you have been diligently fasting and praying for is not given?

Sometimes the reason we aren't getting the thing that we have asked for is because we won't receive it not because the Lord isn't offering it to us. Sometimes we can't find the thing we are seeking for because we won't see it not because it isn't there. Often we place conditions on God that prevent him from giving us what we need and want. The conditions are mostly subconscious so most people won't even realize they are there until they've undertaken a deep search within themselves, which is a very difficult and painful thing to do.

I've had great success lately by thinking deeply about what I can do to get the thing I feel I need. Though I may not have power to do everything necessary to receive it, I ask what I can do and do that. Then miracles occur.