Struggling with Charity for Transwhatever Family

[Yahtzee]

Maybe someone here has some great advice, but I'm really struggling to love my LGBTW family. I'm the only person my sibling will even talk to now because I've made great efforts over the years to use correct names, pronouns, etc. I've felt strongly from the Lord that my role is to love, not to correct, so they can have a path back to the family.
But my patience is wearing thin with this non gender binary garbage. Menstruation isn't only for women is the latest. It makes me fume to read this anti science, anti logic propaganda.
And what I've realized is that I truly don't feel charity for them. It's a facade. I pity them, but also secretly look forward to the day they realize their idiocy.
I'm really not sure what to do spiritually at this point. Maintaining a relationship is what I feel the Lord has asked me to do, but the more I interract with them, the less love I feel.

[Elizabeth]

I have not had this trial, but it seems to me you have been more than charitable. I would just tell them without any apology that their actions and thoughts in this regard are disgusting, immoral, against eternal law and to stay away until they are ready to repent and stop this abomination.

[Seek the Truth]

It's quite possible this trans business is a passing fad.

[mes5464]

I have not had the trail myself either so I am only expressing an opinion.

It is not a sign of lack of love to correct, tell the truth, or educate. Because you correct your children doesn't mean you don't love them, in fact it means the opposite. So, with respect to your family, I don't think it means you don't love them if you feel the need to correct them, and it is never mean to stand up for the truth. It is an act of love to try to spare a person pain or suffering, which is the inevitable outcome of following a homosexual or transgender ideology.

My two cents.

[ajax]

Live and let live. Just agree not to talk about menstruation anymore.

[Yahtzee]

I have not had the trail myself either so I am only expressing an opinion.

It is not a sign of lack of love to correct, tell the truth, or educate. Because you correct your children doesn't mean you don't love them, in fact it means the opposite. So, with respect to your family, I don't think it means you don't love them if you feel the need to correct them, and it is never mean to stand up for the truth. It is an act of love to try to spare a person pain or suffering, which is the inevitable outcome of following a homosexual or transgender ideology.

My two cents.

I don't disagree at all. This is whay my parents have done and now they've been disowned. They corrected with love and with the Spirit. And the Lord told me I should only correct when moved upon by the Spirit. Think Ammon with King Lamoni.
To clarify, I feel integrity about my actions toward them. I vebally aikido a lot. "That's an interesting perspective", "I hadn't thought of that before" or ignore/ change the subject.

I guess the main question isn't even about their hatred of their own bodies and ensuing ridiculouness. It's that I've realized any charity I thought I felt wasn't real. They are the most miserable people I know; the epitome of misery never was happiness. And I secretly delight in their comeuppance, except my poor niece who never stood a chance).
Thank you, Lord, that I'm so much more righteous than my brethern.
I don't want to feel this and prayer etc. isn't helping. It's festering in my soul.

[Crackers]

I would suggest a good mix of the following: genuine love and friendship when you feel you can muster it, direct correction when warranted, and distance yourself when you can't do either.

[True]

I am dealing with two people with different issues in a similar manner. I feel that God has only called me to love because they are getting correction many other places and so I similarly say, "that's interesting". A lot. Sometimes I want to vomit and am very angry but I don't show that side to them.
Right now my very close relative went back to her cheating, manipulative, narcissistic, emotionally abusive ex husband on the day of their divorce. We've had a few fake texts back and forth to each other but she doesn't really reply any more because even she can't pretend that everything is ok. But still I offer her a life line for the next time he asks for a divorce or has a blatant affair, since they're no longer married.

Just keep on keeping on. You will be blessed. I feel like you are in a position to gently occasionally correct. I am able to do that with both because of the trust I have built up and have had some success with talking one of them into staying on the Lord's side of certain issues.

I think it's ok for you to have an opinion because you are a person. Obviously this is not a real relationship bc you just listen and nod your head and if you disagreed to any extent, they would pull away. I guess that's where listening to the spirit comes in on when you can gently guide them.

I think God gives us some credit for trying when it is very hard. Just try to do the task the Lord has given you and ask him for his wisdom and love in dealing with this situation.

It would be hard to listen to that menstration business. I'm thinking that as the scale of ridiculousness increases, so do you blessings! May the next new thing be even more ridiculous! You can do it!!

[True]

Cracker's advice is good too:)

[Michelle]

Maybe someone here has some great advice, but I'm really struggling to love my LGBTW family. I'm the only person my sibling will even talk to now because I've made great efforts over the years to use correct names, pronouns, etc. I've felt strongly from the Lord that my role is to love, not to correct, so they can have a path back to the family.
But my patience is wearing thin with this non gender binary garbage. Menstruation isn't only for women is the latest. It makes me fume to read this anti science, anti logic propaganda.
And what I've realized is that I truly don't feel charity for them. It's a facade. I pity them, but also secretly look forward to the day they realize their idiocy.
I'm really not sure what to do spiritually at this point. Maintaining a relationship is what I feel the Lord has asked me to do, but the more I interract with them, the less love I feel.

I get it. I feel you. I wish I had an answer. Right now, enduring seems to be the name of the game. All I can suggest is what I do, pray, pray, pray.
I feel bad with my impatience when people are taking a long time to see what should be obvious, but I can't change them, only me. So I pray. A lot.

I sincerely pray for you and hope you get the answers you seek. If you do, please share them. :ymhug:

[mes5464]

I have not had the trail myself either so I am only expressing an opinion.

It is not a sign of lack of love to correct, tell the truth, or educate. Because you correct your children doesn't mean you don't love them, in fact it means the opposite. So, with respect to your family, I don't think it means you don't love them if you feel the need to correct them, and it is never mean to stand up for the truth. It is an act of love to try to spare a person pain or suffering, which is the inevitable outcome of following a homosexual or transgender ideology.

My two cents.

I don't disagree at all. This is whay my parents have done and now they've been disowned. They corrected with love and with the Spirit. And the Lord told me I should only correct when moved upon by the Spirit. Think Ammon with King Lamoni.
To clarify, I feel integrity about my actions toward them. I vebally aikido a lot. "That's an interesting perspective", "I hadn't thought of that before" or ignore/ change the subject.

I guess the main question isn't even about their hatred of their own bodies and ensuing ridiculouness. It's that I've realized any charity I thought I felt wasn't real. They are the most miserable people I know; the epitome of misery never was happiness. And I secretly delight in their comeuppance, except my poor niece who never stood a chance).
Thank you, Lord, that I'm so much more righteous than my brethern.
I don't want to feel this and prayer etc. isn't helping. It's festering in my soul.

I think being judgemental is/was my default state. I have since recognized my own faults, and use those to temper my response to others. I think to myself, "how would I want a person to respond to me if we were talking about my trials and sins". That helps me love them because I want to be loved, and express my words with more love. I can be way too direct and answer too quickly some times.

[Yahtzee]

I am dealing with two people with different issues in a similar manner. I feel that God has only called me to love because they are getting correction many other places and so I similarly say, "that's interesting". A lot. Sometimes I want to vomit and am very angry but I don't show that side to them.
Right now my very close relative went back to her cheating, manipulative, narcissistic, emotionally abusive ex husband on the day of their divorce. We've had a few fake texts back and forth to each other but she doesn't really reply any more because even she can't pretend that everything is ok. But still I offer her a life line for the next time he asks for a divorce or has a blatant affair, since they're no longer married.

Yeah, it's a lot like that. I am watching them slowly implode and want nothing more than to point out to them why their life sucks. It's a self-satisfied, smug feeling. One I'm sure the Savior never felt.
But unless they come to that conclusion on their own it won't help.

I'm thinking that as the scale of ridiculousness increases, so do you blessings!

Okay, this is my new mantra.

[eddie]

I have not had this trial, but it seems to me you have been more than charitable. I would just tell them without any apology that their actions and thoughts in this regard are disgusting, immoral, against eternal law and to stay away until they are ready to repent and stop this abomination.

Wow, I always enjoy Elizabeth's tender response.

[eddie]

Live and let live. Just agree not to talk about menstruation anymore.

[brlenox]

Live and let live. Just agree not to talk about menstruation anymore.

How interesting. I noticed you ended that sentence with a period. I think you are repeating yourself.

[ajax]

Live and let live. Just agree not to talk about menstruation anymore.

How interesting. I noticed you ended that sentence with a period. I think you are repeating yourself.

Well done.

[eddie]

Live and let live. Just agree not to talk about menstruation anymore.

How interesting. I noticed you ended that sentence with a period. I think you are repeating yourself.

Now that's funny! Lol

[h_p]

Maybe someone here has some great advice, but I'm really struggling to love my LGBTW family. I'm the only person my sibling will even talk to now because I've made great efforts over the years to use correct names, pronouns, etc. I've felt strongly from the Lord that my role is to love, not to correct, so they can have a path back to the family.

I may be assuming too much, but it sounds like they want a relationship on his/her terms only. Is there any allowance for your beliefs, are are you the only one expected to accept the other's?

Other than that, I think ajax has the best advice. Most of my friends these days are politically liberal, meaning pro-gay-agenda, and my daughter radically so. We stay away from the controversial stuff, and focus on the common ground. I know that's not always possible, but a healthy relationship means both sides give and take to make it work. If it's all one-sided, it's not really a relationship.

[Red]

Live and let live. Just agree not to talk about menstruation anymore.

Omgoodnes, I can't believe anyone would want that! Good grief.

[AI2.0]

Maybe someone here has some great advice, but I'm really struggling to love my LGBTW family. I'm the only person my sibling will even talk to now because I've made great efforts over the years to use correct names, pronouns, etc. I've felt strongly from the Lord that my role is to love, not to correct, so they can have a path back to the family.

I may be assuming too much, but it sounds like they want a relationship on his/her terms only. Is there any allowance for your beliefs, are are you the only one expected to accept the other's?

Other than that, I think ajax has the best advice. Most of my friends these days are politically liberal, meaning pro-gay-agenda, and my daughter radically so. We stay away from the controversial stuff, and focus on the common ground. I know that's not always possible, but a healthy relationship means both sides give and take to make it work. If it's all one-sided, it's not really a relationship.

'If it's all one-sided, it's not really a relationship'. I agree with this, very much the relationship is one=sided and that's not truly a relationship. Very sound advice.

[Yahtzee]

Maybe someone here has some great advice, but I'm really struggling to love my LGBTW family. I'm the only person my sibling will even talk to now because I've made great efforts over the years to use correct names, pronouns, etc. I've felt strongly from the Lord that my role is to love, not to correct, so they can have a path back to the family.

I may be assuming too much, but it sounds like they want a relationship on his/her terms only. Is there any allowance for your beliefs, are are you the only one expected to accept the other's?

Other than that, I think ajax has the best advice. Most of my friends these days are politically liberal, meaning pro-gay-agenda, and my daughter radically so. We stay away from the controversial stuff, and focus on the common ground. I know that's not always possible, but a healthy relationship means both sides give and take to make it work. If it's all one-sided, it's not really a relationship.

Yeah, it's all on their terms. They are the ones to bring up the controversial stuff while we stick to the weather and the kids.
I hadn't really thought of it that way before, but that nails it. It really isn't a relationship of any kind and realizing that makes me see how some distance would help. I don't feel as much animosity toward the people like this I don't know.
I suppose it's another case of familiarity breeding contempt.

[Elizabeth]

Dear eddie,
On second thoughts, as you have been so kind as to trouble yourself to take time out of your busy life to comment on my post, let me modify it for you:

I would just tell them without any apology that their actions and thoughts in this regard are Satanic, disgusting, immoral, against Eternal Law and to stay away until they are ready to repent, stop, and refrain from this filthy loathsome Luciferian abomination.

I have not had this trial, but it seems to me you have been more than charitable. I would just tell them without any apology that their actions and thoughts in this regard are disgusting, immoral, against eternal law and to stay away until they are ready to repent and stop this abomination.

Wow, I always enjoy Elizabeth's tender response.

[Crackers]

It's hard to be around such behavior without it affecting your spirit. Just remember that you may be their only tie back to the church, or at least back to decent moral behavior. Even if it is a one-sided relationship, it could end up being key for them. If you feel the need to preserve the relationship for their benefit, you should do so, but do what you need to to keep yourself sane. Lots of space.

[brlenox]

Maybe someone here has some great advice, but I'm really struggling to love my LGBTW family. I'm the only person my sibling will even talk to now because I've made great efforts over the years to use correct names, pronouns, etc. I've felt strongly from the Lord that my role is to love, not to correct, so they can have a path back to the family.
But my patience is wearing thin with this non gender binary garbage. Menstruation isn't only for women is the latest. It makes me fume to read this anti science, anti logic propaganda.
And what I've realized is that I truly don't feel charity for them. It's a facade. I pity them, but also secretly look forward to the day they realize their idiocy.
I'm really not sure what to do spiritually at this point. Maintaining a relationship is what I feel the Lord has asked me to do, but the more I interract with them, the less love I feel.

2 Nephi 33:9

9 I also have charity for the Gentiles. But behold, for none of these can I hope except they shall be reconciled unto Christ, and enter into the narrow gate, and walk in the strait path which leads to life, and continue in the path until the end of the day of probation.

I also think of Joseph Smith and W.W. Phelps after Phelps had left the church and sworn out affidavits against Joseph creating much grief. Joseph never sought him out, never tried to win him back into the fold as long as WW Phelps walked against the church. Then W.W. Phelps repented and wrote a letter to apologize and ask if they would have him back. In that instance Joseph wrote him back and welcomed him with open arms and held no grudge for the bitter trials that had been caused.

You can always be civil but until they change and return to Christ there is nothing that will enable you to be friends. Also, if you have children there is always the concern of mitigating the severity of your family members choices by encouraging the familiarity of their presence. It is a difficult situation but I would protect where required.

[Yahtzee]

Maybe someone here has some great advice, but I'm really struggling to love my LGBTW family. I'm the only person my sibling will even talk to now because I've made great efforts over the years to use correct names, pronouns, etc. I've felt strongly from the Lord that my role is to love, not to correct, so they can have a path back to the family.
But my patience is wearing thin with this non gender binary garbage. Menstruation isn't only for women is the latest. It makes me fume to read this anti science, anti logic propaganda.
And what I've realized is that I truly don't feel charity for them. It's a facade. I pity them, but also secretly look forward to the day they realize their idiocy.
I'm really not sure what to do spiritually at this point. Maintaining a relationship is what I feel the Lord has asked me to do, but the more I interract with them, the less love I feel.

2 Nephi 33:9

9 I also have charity for the Gentiles. But behold, for none of these can I hope except they shall be reconciled unto Christ, and enter into the narrow gate, and walk in the strait path which leads to life, and continue in the path until the end of the day of probation.

I also think of Joseph Smith and W.W. Phelps after Phelps had left the church and sworn out affidavits against Joseph creating much grief. Joseph never sought him out, never tried to win him back into the fold as long as WW Phelps walked against the church. Then W.W. Phelps repented and wrote a letter to apologize and ask if they would have him back. In that instance Joseph wrote him back and welcomed him with open arms and held no grudge for the bitter trials that had been caused.

You can always be civil but until they change and return to Christ there is nothing that will enable you to be friends. Also, if you have children there is always the concern of mitigating the severity of your family members choices by encouraging the familiarity of their presence. It is a difficult situation but I would protect where required.

Yeah, I think I was hoping for an Ammon/King Lamoni situation, but it's probably more Smith/Phelps. Thank you for that scripture.
Protecting my kids has been the most painful. They really miss their family, but I can't allow anything past birthday cards.
Another thing that makes feeling anything good towards them difficult. Sigh. I'd like to be more like Nephi (or maybe Jacob at that point) above and still feel some love toward them. I've always felt it should be like Crackers mentioned above - a tie back to the Church. But maybe that comes from a little distance, like Joseph Smith.
Good things to ponder here. Thanks everyone.
Edited for blatant, painful spelling.