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bobhenstra
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Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

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bobhenstra
Level 34 Illuminated
Posts: 7236
Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

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bobhenstra
Level 34 Illuminated
Posts: 7236
Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

My new ATV, I can't remember, I'm either going fishing, returning from fishing, or-------

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boB

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Jason
Master of Puppets
Posts: 18296

Re: Help!

Post by Jason »

bobhenstra wrote:My new ATV, I can't remember, I'm either going fishing, returning from fishing, or-------

Image

boB
LOL....Bob's comic relief thread....diggin' it! Looks cool....but without a motor....takes all the fun out of it. Now if you mounted a big block V8 between those sticks with a platform behind to hang on for dear life.....then we're talkin!


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bobhenstra
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Posts: 7236
Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

That guy has to much time on his hands----

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bobhenstra
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Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

Mark bought two horses, but could never remember which one was which, so he cut the tail off one so as to differentiate. That worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush and then their tails looked alike.

Shadow suggested Mark notch the ear off one horse and, again, this worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on barbed wire. Shadow then suggested that Mark measure the horses for height.

Mark got out his tape measure and was absolutely delighted to discover that the black horse was two inches taller than the white one.

Obb

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marc
Disciple of Jesus Christ
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Re: Help!

Post by marc »

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book. Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'.

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book,' she replies,

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.

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Posts: 2358

Re: Help!

Post by Like »

One of Bob's daughters taking advantage of Mitt

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bobhenstra
Level 34 Illuminated
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Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

No, my daughters are better looking---

Bob

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bobhenstra
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Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

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My buddy!

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bobhenstra
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Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

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shadow
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Posts: 10542
Location: St. George

Re: Help!

Post by shadow »

Like wrote:One of Bob's daughters taking advantage of Mitt

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So that's how it is in their family...

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bobhenstra
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Posts: 7236
Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

I sure hope you got your package, I know I will enjoy my garden season this next year. And just think, you have a rug to kneel on so those little dirt bugs don’t bite you while you are planting the seeds. My our guy in Washington thinks of everything. Happy time are here again..

2011 Obama Stimulus Package.


CHECK YOUR MAIL

Just wanted to let you know - today I received my 2011 Obama Stimulus
Package.

It contained two taco seeds, a cornbread mix, a prayer rug and 10
coupons to KFC. The instructions were in Spanish.

Hope you get yours soon. Don't plant it all in one place!

boB

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bobhenstra
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Posts: 7236
Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

An 80 yr Old lady
was marrying for the 4th time. newspaper asked if she would mind talking about her husbands & what they did for a living. She smiled & said "My 1st husband was a Banker, then I married a Circus Ringmaster. Next was a Preacher & now in my 80's, a Funeral Director.

When asked why the 4 Men had such diverse careers. She explained, "I married 1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready & 4 to go"

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tsc
captain of 100
Posts: 406

Re: Help!

Post by tsc »

It's a wicked generation who seeks a sign!
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bobhenstra
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Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

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Dang, I love signs-----

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Bob

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bobhenstra
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Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

Retired and comfortable---

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boB

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bobhenstra
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Location: Central Utah

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Post by bobhenstra »

My daughters---

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bh

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bobhenstra
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Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

Logan Utah!

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bbo

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shadow
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Location: St. George

Re: Help!

Post by shadow »

bobhenstra wrote:Logan Utah!

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bbo
I told my wife not to share the family photos!

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Mark
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Posts: 6929

Re: Help!

Post by Mark »

shadow wrote:
bobhenstra wrote:Logan Utah!

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bbo
I told my wife not to share the family photos!

You look a lot different now without the long hair and the skirt Bro. :))

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shadow
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Location: St. George

Re: Help!

Post by shadow »

Mark wrote:You look a lot different now without the long hair and the skirt Bro. :))
I only gave up the skirt because your mama said you just had to have it. I hope it's working out for you. I told your mama that it would be too small for such a large boy but she thought you'd find a way to slip into it. She still thinks you're gonna grow out of your baby fat. I told her that once a person gets past 50 it's probably permanent but she thinks you're special... I can't argue with her there.

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bobhenstra
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Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

Mark and Shadow, age 12--

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Bob

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Jason
Master of Puppets
Posts: 18296

Re: Help!

Post by Jason »

bobhenstra wrote:Mark and Shadow, age 12--

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Bob
ROFLMBO....keep it coming!!!

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bobhenstra
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Posts: 7236
Location: Central Utah

Re: Help!

Post by bobhenstra »

God's Wife


Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once
Talked about a contest he was asked to judge.
The purpose of the Contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was:

1. A four-year-old child, whose next door
neighbor was an elderly gentleman, who had recently lost his
wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old
Gentleman's' yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his mother asked him what he had
said to the neighbor, the little boy just said, 'Nothing, I just
Helped him cry.'

*********************************************

2. Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were
discussing a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture
had a different hair color than the other members. One of her
students suggested that he was adopted.

A little girl said, 'I know all about adoption, I was adopted..'

'What does it mean to be adopted?', asked another child.

'It means', said the girl, 'that you grew
in your mommy's heart instead of her tummy!'

************************ *********************

3. On my way home one day, I stopped to
watch a Little League base ball game that was being played in a
park near my home. As I sat down behind the bench on the first-
base line, I asked one of the boys what the score was.
'We're behind 14 to nothing,' he answered with a smile.

'Really,' I said. 'I have to say you don't look very discouraged.'

'Discouraged?', the boy asked with a Puzzled look on his face...

'Why should we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet.'

*********************** **********************

4. Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot
in life, I stop and think about little Jamie Scott.

Jamie was trying out for a part in the
school play. His mother told me that he'd set his heart on being
in it, though she feared he would not be chosen..

On the day the parts were awarded, I went
with her to collect him after school. Jamie rushed up to her,
eyes shining with pride and excitement.. 'Guess what, Mom,' he
shouted, and then said those words that will remain a lesson to
me....'I've been chosen to clap and cheer.'

*********************************************

5. An eye witness account from New York
City, on a cold day in December, some years ago:

A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the
roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering
with cold.

A lady approached the young boy and said,
'My, but you're in such deep thought staring in that window!'

'I was asking God to give me a pair of
shoes,' was the boy's reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into
the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks
for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water
and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back
part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed
his little feet, and dried them with the towel.

By this time, the clerk had returned with
the socks.. Placing a pair upon the boy's feet, she purchased him
a pair of shoes..

She tied up the remaining pairs of socks
and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, 'No
doubt, you will be more comfortable now..'

As she turned to go, the astonished kid
caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears
in his eyes, asked her:

'Are you God's wife?'

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