We need more families.

[Fiannan]

He really presents this in a great way. We need more traditional families.

[Son of Liberty]

Can I get an amen and and hallelujah?!

[Son of Liberty]

Can I get an amen and a hallelujah?!

[Sirocco]

I dream of having a large family one day, window is kind of shrinking though... nearing 30.
As much as I wish I could, I don't think I'll be able to.
Such is life.

[BYULAWGUY]

I dream of having a large family one day, window is kind of shrinking though... nearing 30.
As much as I wish I could, I don't think I'll be able to.
Such is life.

I got married At 32. Just had my 4th at 42. The window is not yet closed.

[Sirocco]

I dream of having a large family one day, window is kind of shrinking though... nearing 30.
As much as I wish I could, I don't think I'll be able to.
Such is life.

I got married At 32. Just had my 4th at 42. The window is not yet closed.

For normal guys no, when you're a weirdo with aspergers with no relationship experience, yeah it is.
I don't like what's offered to me, none of the girls at either of the churches I went to would talk to me (I don't have a good job).
So yeah, it's a pipe dream.

So sadly I have to live for myself and surround my apartment with junk.

[gardener4life]

In the old days you heard about people getting married and having kids all the time between 30 and 40. I don't think it's happening now partly because too many women won't marry or date a guy without a big income, which is wrong.

[brianj]

I dream of having a large family one day, window is kind of shrinking though... nearing 30.
As much as I wish I could, I don't think I'll be able to.
Such is life.

Stay worthy and I believe someday you will have the privilege of the biggest family you could want.

I have known a few couples who could not have children. I know several women who never found a worthy man, and one who probably wouldn't be a good spouse because of major health problems. After joining the church I always dreamed of a big, loving family but I regret bringing children into the toxic environment they were raised in. I desperately pray that one day soon I will be able to marry into a wonderfully loving and tight knit family, but I have known people who did just that and were always treated as outsiders whose presence is tolerated but who aren't really accepted into the family. And at my age I don't believe more children are in my mortal future.

Where's the fairness? Why are some people blessed with love, support, and resources to have a wonderful big family and others aren't?

I can't comprehend how some things will be made equal. How will the person who tried as hard as they could but never achieved the worldly success necessary to afford their dreams feel things were made equal with the person who lived a charmed live? But I see how family will be made equal.

I firmly believe that one day, hopefully next year but maybe not in mortality, I will find an eternal love and marry into a wonderful family. Then, if we are worthy, during the Millennium we will be blessed to have as many children as we desire. Of course, if this is what really is in our future, it won't really be equal because we'll be starting so far behind those who have had the families I dream of and we won't be able to have children more quickly than them to catch up. But the families we have will be a whole lot more meaningful and special for us than what they have.

[Sirocco]

In the old days you heard about people getting married and having kids all the time between 30 and 40. I don't think it's happening now partly because too many women won't marry or date a guy without a big income, which is wrong.

Yeah women are extremely judgemental in their 30s, I have slim chances, oh sure some might, who have children or have slept with dozens of people or are desperate and will forever resent me because I am not what they really wanted and I don't earn a lot of money.

It's a reality.
Some are on top, others are on the bottom.
My dream is misguided for what I have in life, people like me are supposed to play video games and not talk to women.
One ought accept their place as to not be destroyed by misplaced ambition.

[Sirocco]

I dream of having a large family one day, window is kind of shrinking though... nearing 30.
As much as I wish I could, I don't think I'll be able to.
Such is life.

Stay worthy and I believe someday you will have the privilege of the biggest family you could want.

I feel like that is like a monkey's paw scenario...
I have met and know people who would want to be with me and have children but I don't want to be with them.

[Thinker]

I dream of having a large family one day, window is kind of shrinking though... nearing 30.
As much as I wish I could, I don't think I'll be able to.
Such is life.

Stay worthy and I believe someday you will have the privilege of the biggest family you could want.

I feel like that is like a monkey's paw scenario...
I have met and know people who would want to be with me and have children but I don't want to be with them.

Sirroco, Just as you consider some girls judgmental- could you be a bit too judgmental also? I realize marriage is a big step - but if it’s what you want - & statistically you WILL be happier for it - maybe you need to reconsider your standards of who you’d accept as a wife. Jordan Peterson said something like “marriage is NOT to make you happy all of the time as much as it is to intertwine your life with another’s to make you both stronger.” As a scripture suggests - 2 are better than 1 because if either falls - the other can help them up. Also - man & woman in marriage having complimentary differences- help make weak things strong for each.

And I know a guy with Aspergers who is happily married and adopted a child in addition to step kids. He occasionally posts on this forum.

[gardener4life]

In the old days you heard about people getting married and having kids all the time between 30 and 40. I don't think it's happening now partly because too many women won't marry or date a guy without a big income, which is wrong.

Yeah women are extremely judgemental in their 30s, I have slim chances, oh sure some might, who have children or have slept with dozens of people or are desperate and will forever resent me because I am not what they really wanted and I don't earn a lot of money.

It's a reality.
Some are on top, others are on the bottom.
My dream is misguided for what I have in life, people like me are supposed to play video games and not talk to women.
One ought accept their place as to not be destroyed by misplaced ambition.

Being with someone who has slept with dozens of people sounds really awful. I hope we're not to that point as a society but unfortunately we might be. If its like that I can't imagine that someone doesn't have at least one STD right? Then there's all those Hollywood people that have slept with maybe a couple hundred each. Wonder how many STDs they have.

[Sirocco]

I dream of having a large family one day, window is kind of shrinking though... nearing 30.
As much as I wish I could, I don't think I'll be able to.
Such is life.

Stay worthy and I believe someday you will have the privilege of the biggest family you could want.

I feel like that is like a monkey's paw scenario...
I have met and know people who would want to be with me and have children but I don't want to be with them.

Sirroco, Just as you consider some girls judgmental- could you be a bit too judgmental also? I realize marriage is a big step - but if it’s what you want - & statistically you WILL be happier for it - maybe you need to reconsider your standards of who you’d accept as a wife. Jordan Peterson said something like “marriage is NOT to make you happy all of the time as much as it is to intertwine your life with another’s to make you both stronger.” As a scripture suggests - 2 are better than 1 because if either falls - the other can help them up. Also - man & woman in marriage having complimentary differences- help make weak things strong for each.

And I know a guy with Aspergers who is happily married and adopted a child in addition to step kids. He occasionally posts on this forum.

Well obviously if I met a person and fell for them they having a child wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I also think the context of why she has a child and is single.
Like a girl I know had one with a loser guy who she knew wouldn't stay and most single mothers are like that nowadays.
Someone like that just takes and never give, they don't know how to give or think for anyone but themselves.
I mean I don't consider my standards that high.

[Sirocco]

In the old days you heard about people getting married and having kids all the time between 30 and 40. I don't think it's happening now partly because too many women won't marry or date a guy without a big income, which is wrong.

Yeah women are extremely judgemental in their 30s, I have slim chances, oh sure some might, who have children or have slept with dozens of people or are desperate and will forever resent me because I am not what they really wanted and I don't earn a lot of money.

It's a reality.
Some are on top, others are on the bottom.
My dream is misguided for what I have in life, people like me are supposed to play video games and not talk to women.
One ought accept their place as to not be destroyed by misplaced ambition.

Being with someone who has slept with dozens of people sounds really awful. I hope we're not to that point as a society but unfortunately we might be. If its like that I can't imagine that someone doesn't have at least one STD right? Then there's all those Hollywood people that have slept with maybe a couple hundred each. Wonder how many STDs they have.

They did, all the girls I knew who have slept with lots have had at least one.

[brianj]

Stay worthy and I believe someday you will have the privilege of the biggest family you could want.

I feel like that is like a monkey's paw scenario...
I have met and know people who would want to be with me and have children but I don't want to be with them.

Sirroco, Just as you consider some girls judgmental- could you be a bit too judgmental also? I realize marriage is a big step - but if it’s what you want - & statistically you WILL be happier for it - maybe you need to reconsider your standards of who you’d accept as a wife. Jordan Peterson said something like “marriage is NOT to make you happy all of the time as much as it is to intertwine your life with another’s to make you both stronger.” As a scripture suggests - 2 are better than 1 because if either falls - the other can help them up. Also - man & woman in marriage having complimentary differences- help make weak things strong for each.

And I know a guy with Aspergers who is happily married and adopted a child in addition to step kids. He occasionally posts on this forum.

Well obviously if I met a person and fell for them they having a child wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I also think the context of why she has a child and is single.
Like a girl I know had one with a loser guy who she knew wouldn't stay and most single mothers are like that nowadays.
Someone like that just takes and never give, they don't know how to give or think for anyone but themselves.
I mean I don't consider my standards that high.

Even if she was totally faithful in the church now, I would have a very hard time getting into a relationship with, or even having a second date with, someone who has three kids from three different fathers and isn't even sure who the fathers are.

Some people, even church leaders, seem to think that if a woman has a temple recommend and a pulse she would be good wife material. Finding someone you find attractive, who you have chemistry and shared interests with, will be far more likely to walk back to Father with you than someone with a temple recommend and a pulse.

[Fiannan]

Some people, even church leaders, seem to think that if a woman has a temple recommend and a pulse she would be good wife material. Finding someone you find attractive, who you have chemistry and shared interests with, will be far more likely to walk back to Father with you than someone with a temple recommend and a pulse.

Anyone can have a temple recommend -- I heard even some LDS politicians have them. While we would like to have only the people who strive for spiritual purity go into the Lord's house that does not mean everyone who enters does.

[Sirocco]

I feel like that is like a monkey's paw scenario...
I have met and know people who would want to be with me and have children but I don't want to be with them.

Sirroco, Just as you consider some girls judgmental- could you be a bit too judgmental also? I realize marriage is a big step - but if it’s what you want - & statistically you WILL be happier for it - maybe you need to reconsider your standards of who you’d accept as a wife. Jordan Peterson said something like “marriage is NOT to make you happy all of the time as much as it is to intertwine your life with another’s to make you both stronger.” As a scripture suggests - 2 are better than 1 because if either falls - the other can help them up. Also - man & woman in marriage having complimentary differences- help make weak things strong for each.

And I know a guy with Aspergers who is happily married and adopted a child in addition to step kids. He occasionally posts on this forum.

Well obviously if I met a person and fell for them they having a child wouldn't be a deal breaker, but I also think the context of why she has a child and is single.
Like a girl I know had one with a loser guy who she knew wouldn't stay and most single mothers are like that nowadays.
Someone like that just takes and never give, they don't know how to give or think for anyone but themselves.
I mean I don't consider my standards that high.

Even if she was totally faithful in the church now, I would have a very hard time getting into a relationship with, or even having a second date with, someone who has three kids from three different fathers and isn't even sure who the fathers are.

Some people, even church leaders, seem to think that if a woman has a temple recommend and a pulse she would be good wife material. Finding someone you find attractive, who you have chemistry and shared interests with, will be far more likely to walk back to Father with you than someone with a temple recommend and a pulse.

I guess some people are more idealistic, but the vast majority are far more realistic.
Women find a lot of reasons to look down on men, and I have very little experience and a low pay check and nearing 30...
I ain't got much to offer, and I see that and as much as it makes me sad, it is what it is, as I have said.
It's the thing women care about most these days, understandably.
And I get told to lower my standards and date single mothers and such... I'd really rather die alone then date one of them and lower myself to caring for some other man's children and (even worse) having to deal with that other man.

[brianj]

I guess some people are more idealistic, but the vast majority are far more realistic.
Women find a lot of reasons to look down on men, and I have very little experience and a low pay check and nearing 30...
I ain't got much to offer, and I see that and as much as it makes me sad, it is what it is, as I have said.
It's the thing women care about most these days, understandably.
And I get told to lower my standards and date single mothers and such... I'd really rather die alone then date one of them and lower myself to caring for some other man's children and (even worse) having to deal with that other man.

To the world, I am not good husband material. I'm obese, I don't think I am much to look at, and I have never experienced much worldly success. At my age (1-5 years too old for a single adult ward) I should have a lot more income than I do and a good start on retirement savings. Instead, I have been wiped out and am starting over with no appreciable assets, a big student loan, and a decent income but well below the median for someone with a STEM degree. I don't have confidence that I would be able to buy a house with today's prices. If a woman cares for the things of the world, I won't ever hold her attention. But I hope to find a better woman than that.

I intend to do whatever it takes to return to Heavenly Father and I want nothing more than to find a woman with whom I can return.
I honor my covenants and will always do so.
I fulfill my callings.
I will never cheat.
I will be the best husband, (step) father, and grandfather I can be.
I will always do what I can to love the woman who gives me her heart and companionship.

I won't give her the world, but I will give her eternity.

Sirocco, if you are anything like this then you have a lot to offer.

That being said, at my age I don't expect to have more children in mortality. But I sincerely hope to find a wonderful woman who has children at home even though it means I will have trials associated with their resentment over not having their 'real' father at home and dealing with him on a frequent basis. Like you, I wouldn't want to date or get involved with a woman who has multiple children from multiple fathers. But I have come to know a lot of great women whose husbands cheated on them, abused them, or otherwise treated a very special gift like garbage. I would really prefer a woman whose husband filed for divorce and left over a woman who left her husband, but at your age it would be more important to me that she wanted to have kids with me than that she already has kids. In that situation, or in the situation I hope to one day enter, I sincerely hope that nobody could ever look at how I interact with the kids and think I was anything other than their biological father.

[Sirocco]

Hey you got more worldly success then I do, I'll never own a home or retire, I am on government assistance to due disability and have a crappy part time job.
Only plus is I have my own appartment.
And that was a hard get but I got it, and I am proud of that.
I am not ready to be a step father, and would really rather have my own children.
My religious attendance is lacking due to anxiety and general dislike of crowds at the moment.

[brianj]

Hey you got more worldly success then I do, I'll never own a home or retire, I am on government assistance to due disability and have a crappy part time job.
Only plus is I have my own appartment.
And that was a hard get but I got it, and I am proud of that.
I am not ready to be a step father, and would really rather have my own children.
My religious attendance is lacking due to anxiety and general dislike of crowds at the moment.

I didn't mean to imply that I don't think I have been blessed recently with some measure of prosperity, but I was almost 40 before I had a month where I earned enough money to cover all my monthly bills.

I know anxiety associated with church attendance, but try to go anyway. You may not recognize it, but you will be blessed.

[Sirocco]

Hey you got more worldly success then I do, I'll never own a home or retire, I am on government assistance to due disability and have a crappy part time job.
Only plus is I have my own appartment.
And that was a hard get but I got it, and I am proud of that.
I am not ready to be a step father, and would really rather have my own children.
My religious attendance is lacking due to anxiety and general dislike of crowds at the moment.

I didn't mean to imply that I don't think I have been blessed recently with some measure of prosperity, but I was almost 40 before I had a month where I earned enough money to cover all my monthly bills.

I know anxiety associated with church attendance, but try to go anyway. You may not recognize it, but you will be blessed.

I don't think right now is a good time for me.
I can't face people talking to me in this point of my life like that.
I can't stand the looks I get, and I know I get looks.

[passionflower]

Hey you got more worldly success then I do, I'll never own a home or retire, I am on government assistance to due disability and have a crappy part time job.
Only plus is I have my own appartment.
And that was a hard get but I got it, and I am proud of that.
I am not ready to be a step father, and would really rather have my own children.
My religious attendance is lacking due to anxiety and general dislike of crowds at the moment.

Guys like you get happily married all the time. They find another girl like themselves, of which there is a good assortment of. Nice girls, sweet girls, without high expectations, who have a few personal challenges and/or disabilities of their own and therefore can relate with you support you, and love you just like you are. Right now that some girl out there wishes a guy like you would come along into her life, and so do her parents, by whom you would be treated like a hero.

If you hate your job, and you are really that disabled, try working for the Deseret Industries. Wonderful place to work, very supportive, very nice people, and you will love coming to work every day. Of course, you would have to join the church first........

[Sirocco]

Hey you got more worldly success then I do, I'll never own a home or retire, I am on government assistance to due disability and have a crappy part time job.
Only plus is I have my own appartment.
And that was a hard get but I got it, and I am proud of that.
I am not ready to be a step father, and would really rather have my own children.
My religious attendance is lacking due to anxiety and general dislike of crowds at the moment.

Guys like you get happily married all the time. They find another girl like themselves, of which there is a good assortment of. Nice girls, sweet girls, without high expectations, who have a few personal challenges and/or disabilities of their own and therefore can relate with you support you, and love you just like you are. Right now that some girl out there wishes a guy like you would come along into her life, and so do her parents, by whom you would be treated like a hero.

If you hate your job, and you are really that disabled, try working for the Deseret Industries. Wonderful place to work, very supportive, very nice people, and you will love coming to work every day. Of course, you would have to join the church first........

I live in Canada lol
The church is right down the road, makes life easier.
I knew a girl like that but she just baited me along and... I am not really sure why... like I didn't buy her much of anything and the dates I took her on weren't grand or anything...
Very confusing.
As I have said, the girls like me are oddly eluding, only girls I seem to find are single mothers and those who've slept with dozens of people in their life...
I can't marry someone like that.
I just can't find someone like that attractive.

[passionflower]

Hey you got more worldly success then I do, I'll never own a home or retire, I am on government assistance to due disability and have a crappy part time job.
Only plus is I have my own appartment.
And that was a hard get but I got it, and I am proud of that.
I am not ready to be a step father, and would really rather have my own children.
My religious attendance is lacking due to anxiety and general dislike of crowds at the moment.

Guys like you get happily married all the time. They find another girl like themselves, of which there is a good assortment of. Nice girls, sweet girls, without high expectations, who have a few personal challenges and/or disabilities of their own and therefore can relate with you support you, and love you just like you are. Right now that some girl out there wishes a guy like you would come along into her life, and so do her parents, by whom you would be treated like a hero.

If you hate your job, and you are really that disabled, try working for the Deseret Industries. Wonderful place to work, very supportive, very nice people, and you will love coming to work every day. Of course, you would have to join the church first........

I live in Canada lol
The church is right down the road, makes life easier.
I knew a girl like that but she just baited me along and... I am not really sure why... like I didn't buy her much of anything and the dates I took her on weren't grand or anything...
Very confusing.
As I have said, the girls like me are oddly eluding, only girls I seem to find are single mothers and those who've slept with dozens of people in their life...
I can't marry someone like that.
I just can't find someone like that attractive.

I am glad you won't marry someone like that and that you don't find that attractive. This is why I like you and I hold out hope for you.

[brianj]

I live in Canada lol
The church is right down the road, makes life easier.
I knew a girl like that but she just baited me along and... I am not really sure why... like I didn't buy her much of anything and the dates I took her on weren't grand or anything...
Very confusing.
As I have said, the girls like me are oddly eluding, only girls I seem to find are single mothers and those who've slept with dozens of people in their life...
I can't marry someone like that.
I just can't find someone like that attractive.

I understand what you are saying. The single mothers that I will be willing to date are those who had children in marriage, and I don't think I could get into a relationship with the type of person you describe.

Even if someone like that fully repented and demonstrated a commitment to covenants, I don't think I could marry her. After my first marriage, if she were to refuse me I know myself well enough to know that I would be resentful and would think about all the guys she didn't refuse. That would not be fair to her.