Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

[gardener4life]

How did we get on Sweden with this??

[Matchmaker]

Finding someone to marry and raise a family with is relatively easy. Making it work and last any length of time is a real challenge. Creating a successful eternal marriage is the rarest pearl of all. If I had to choose one predictor of success it would be to date only LDS men with current temple recommends. It doesn't matter where you find them - church, temple, singles activities, online dating groups, through friends, etc. Just don't drop your standards out of loneliness and you will be fine.

Gage is right. If you are overweight, slim down. Make yourself as physically attractive as possible. Smile a lot. Men are drawn to physically attractive women. We women can scream about how unfair it is, but it is still reality, at least to some degree.

[Gage]

Finding someone to marry and raise a family with is relatively easy. Making it work and last any length of time is a real challenge. Creating a successful eternal marriage is the rarest pearl of all. If I had to choose one predictor of success it would be to date only LDS men with current temple recommends. It doesn't matter where you find them - church, temple, singles activities, online dating groups, through friends, etc. Just don't drop your standards out of loneliness and you will be fine.

Gage is right. If you are overweight, slim down. Make yourself as physically attractive as possible. Smile a lot. Men are drawn to physically attractive women. We women can scream about how unfair it is, but it is still reality, at least to some degree.

Women know its true, that is why the first place a divorced woman starts going to right after a divorce is the gym.

[brianj]

(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim)

I don't mean to derail the thread or get too personal, but this comment sounds fascinating. Any chance you might be able to share a bit of your conversion story?

I, too, would love to know more of your story, Newgirl. Perhaps one of us will start a thread where we can share conversion stories.

Does Sweden have any type of mid-single adults program? Also, this is risky, but any chance you can find a non-member who may be sincerely interested in the gospel (not just because you say you won't marry him unless he joins) and help convert him?

I would caution against this route. I do know some great couples who met when only one of the two was a church member and the other converted, but in my anecdotal and non-scientific observation it appears that these couples have a much higher divorce rate than the church membership in general.

[brianj]

Finding someone to marry and raise a family with is relatively easy. Making it work and last any length of time is a real challenge. Creating a successful eternal marriage is the rarest pearl of all. If I had to choose one predictor of success it would be to date only LDS men with current temple recommends. It doesn't matter where you find them - church, temple, singles activities, online dating groups, through friends, etc. Just don't drop your standards out of loneliness and you will be fine.

Gage is right. If you are overweight, slim down. Make yourself as physically attractive as possible. Smile a lot. Men are drawn to physically attractive women. We women can scream about how unfair it is, but it is still reality, at least to some degree.

May I suggest a man that not only has a current recommend, but who uses it as regularly as circumstances permit?

[brianj]

Newgirl, I just did a brief search and found the Festinord young single adult conference in Scandinavia, https://www.festinord.org/

You mentioned that you are 33 so you aren't eligible to attend, but I would highly recommend going to their contact page and filling out the form. Tell them that you are 33 so you can't attend then ask if they can point you to groups or activities for single Saints your age.

If you haven't already, I would also suggest asking your Bishop of Stake President. I could tell you about single adult groups in and near Salt Lake City or Seattle, but not Stockholm or wherever else in Sweden you may be.

[Elizabeth]

This is not a unique problem. My beautiful, tall, slim, fit, healthy, abundantly financially secure daughter has given up on finding an LDS husband to her liking.

[Fiannan]

This is not a unique problem. My beautiful, tall, slim, fit, abundantly financially secure daughter has given up on finding an LDS husband to her liking.

I foresee a time soon that only half of Mormon women will be able to find an LDS man -- and I mean member, not active. The rest can find a nonmember, find comfort in being a spinster or head to the sperm bank.

[Elizabeth]

Four of my sons had no such problem and were married in the Temple.

[Matchmaker]

This is not a unique problem. My beautiful, tall, slim, fit, healthy, abundantly financially secure daughter has given up on finding an LDS husband to her liking.

Heavenly Father must be preparing a special man for her right now. She sounds like a wonderful woman. It's only a matter of time before she meets him. As long as she doesn't give up hope and faith in the Lord, she'll find him.

[Spaced_Out]

This is not a unique problem. My beautiful, tall, slim, fit, healthy, abundantly financially secure daughter has given up on finding an LDS husband to her liking.

In the ward I am in there is like 8 female active YSA one partially active male. My two YSA daughters have never been on any date or had any male friend in the church, the youngest one is now finishing her degree this year. They long ago gave up looking for any male partners/friends/dates etc just move on with their lives. The Bishop now has the missionaries teaching the YSA Sunday school class and they don't even attend the investigators class, but most of the YSA are placed into primary and there is no functioning YSA group.

[gkearney]

This is not a unique problem. My beautiful, tall, slim, fit, healthy, abundantly financially secure daughter has given up on finding an LDS husband to her liking.

Heavenly Father must be preparing a special man for her right now. She sounds like a wonderful woman. It's only a matter of time before she meets him. As long as she doesn't give up hope and faith in the Lord, she'll find him.

Elizabeth, see needs to go over to Perth when men, even in the church out number women by a wide margin.

[Elizabeth]

.......

[Spaced_Out]

This is not a unique problem. My beautiful, tall, slim, fit, healthy, abundantly financially secure daughter has given up on finding an LDS husband to her liking.

Heavenly Father must be preparing a special man for her right now. She sounds like a wonderful woman. It's only a matter of time before she meets him. As long as she doesn't give up hope and faith in the Lord, she'll find him.

Elizabeth, see needs to go over to Perth when men, even in the church out number women by a wide margin.

We need to import the men from the west to East Coast Australia, if what you say is true. I have only ever been to one sacrament meeting in Perth, I was in transit to Port Headland for work. I don't remember seeing a gender disparity outside of the normal LDS demographic, but it was not on my mind at the time. I do remember the SS teacher was female and there was discussion that it would soon become illegal to do marriages in LDS temples due to equality for marriage requirements.
How is the NO vote going in Perth?....

[Elizabeth]

I have been to LDS single activities myself in Perth as well as in Brisbane, Sydney, Britain and America, all seemed much the same.

My daughter is particular, the men who interest her must be healthy, fit, tall and slim... as well as other characteristics.

[Silver]

This is not a unique problem. My beautiful, tall, slim, fit, healthy, abundantly financially secure daughter has given up on finding an LDS husband to her liking.

Pictures or it didn't happen.

[Fiannan]

This is not a unique problem. My beautiful, tall, slim, fit, healthy, abundantly financially secure daughter has given up on finding an LDS husband to her liking.

In the ward I am in there is like 8 female active YSA one partially active male. My two YSA daughters have never been on any date or had any male friend in the church, the youngest one is now finishing her degree this year. They long ago gave up looking for any male partners/friends/dates etc just move on with their lives. The Bishop now has the missionaries teaching the YSA Sunday school class and they don't even attend the investigators class, but most of the YSA are placed into primary and there is no functioning YSA group.

I had a friend who went through a divorce. He was extremely devout but innactive. He was in his 30s and moved to Utah. He was generally going on dates with females 19 - 25, some return missionaries and he only dated stunning women. He said he averaged 6 dates a week and no, he just had a low-paying working-class job. And this was over a decade ago.

A message to LDS women: Unless your guy is into gay porn just ignore it. Unless your guy drinks hard alcohol and smokes ignore the coffee and energy drinks. Unless your guy refuses to work or refuses to have children then adapt. You are luckier than you can imagine. Ingratitude is one of the worse sins there is.

[Tbone]

I would caution against this route. I do know some great couples who met when only one of the two was a church member and the other converted, but in my anecdotal and non-scientific observation it appears that these couples have a much higher divorce rate than the church membership in general.

I agree 100%. That's why I said it was risky. You are probably right about the higher divorce rate, and I've also seen many more once active people stop going to church just to please their non-member spouse. However, I've also seen positive outcomes as well, though far fewer. She has a challenge ahead of her, so I believe she needs to look at all options, especially using the Spirit. She obviously has a good heart and there may be some good man in Sweden who can see that and find the gospel through her.

[gkearney]

I have been to LDS single activities myself in Perth as well as in Brisbane, Sydney, Britain and America, all seemed much the same.

My daughter is particular, the men who interest her must be healthy, fit, tall and slim... as well as other characteristics.

I don’t mean this to be flip but maybe she has too many condition to the point no man will ever measure up. There was only one perfect man and he is not available.

[Fiannan]

I have been to LDS single activities myself in Perth as well as in Brisbane, Sydney, Britain and America, all seemed much the same.

My daughter is particular, the men who interest her must be healthy, fit, tall and slim... as well as other characteristics.

I don’t mean this to be flip but maybe she has too many condition to the point no man will ever measure up. There was only one perfect man and he is not available.

More than one. Noah was perfect -- the Hebrew word for perfect in his generations means genetically pure. I will bet the people before the flood were also perfect, but perhaps polluted with animal DNA.

[Gage]

Some LDS women are too picky, they are raised that way. I see the teenagers and young adults in my ward that drive older cars they dont ever seem to be talking to any girls, the rich mama's boys always have them piling out of their nice flashy cars or brand new jacked up trucks.

[iWriteStuff]

I have been to LDS single activities myself in Perth as well as in Brisbane, Sydney, Britain and America, all seemed much the same.

My daughter is particular, the men who interest her must be healthy, fit, tall and slim... as well as other characteristics.

I don’t mean this to be flip but maybe she has too many condition to the point no man will ever measure up. There was only one perfect man and he is not available.

It's true. I've been happily married for ten years now.

[NewgirlME]

Newgirl, I just did a brief search and found the Festinord young single adult conference in Scandinavia, https://www.festinord.org/

You mentioned that you are 33 so you aren't eligible to attend, but I would highly recommend going to their contact page and filling out the form. Tell them that you are 33 so you can't attend then ask if they can point you to groups or activities for single Saints your age.

If you haven't already, I would also suggest asking your Bishop of Stake President. I could tell you about single adult groups in and near Salt Lake City or Seattle, but not Stockholm or wherever else in Sweden you may be.

Thanks brianj. I will look into this.
I don't know how to ask the bishop, but yes he might know if there are events. I'm just a bit nervous to talk about it I guess.

I will admit I'm a bit overweight, like someone said it might be an obstacle. So I'll loose the weight. Other than that I think I look ok. Just gotta keep my faith up and be strong. I've been praying my family finds Jesus but it doesn't seem to happen...that woulld make life easier.

[NewgirlME]

The app "Mutual" seems promising(hasn't been launched for android yet)! We should have more of these apps/registers of ppl.

[Mark]

I have been to LDS single activities myself in Perth as well as in Brisbane, Sydney, Britain and America, all seemed much the same.

My daughter is particular, the men who interest her must be healthy, fit, tall and slim... as well as other characteristics.

I don’t mean this to be flip but maybe she has too many condition to the point no man will ever measure up. There was only one perfect man and he is not available.

It's true. I've been happily married for ten years now.

Go to Marc's humble thread. You belong there.