Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

[Fiannan]

Just because someone understands what can so easily go wrong in a marriage like that mentioned above by brianj does not mean they are declaring "superiority".

People who understand that don't call people in interracial marriages "race traitors."

Yet can we say there is not a basis for their ideas rooted in prophetic statements? Just asking.

[David13]

Here's my favorite James E. Faust quote ever:

"I have learned to admire, respect, and love the good people from every race, culture, and nation that I have been privileged to visit. In my experience, no race or class seems superior to any other in spirituality and faithfulness. Those who seem less caring spiritually are those individuals—regardless of race, culture, or nationality—spoken of by the Savior in the parable of the sower who are “choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection.” (close quote)

So, racists, you can repent now, or repent later of your racist tendencies. However, I assure you that you will eventually repent of them.

To Elder Faust's testimony we can add Elder Cook's:
"Anyone who claims superiority under the Father’s plan because of characteristics like race, sex, nationality, language, or economic circumstances," said Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve, "is morally wrong and does not understand the Lord’s true purpose for all of our Father’s children."

Elder Cook cautioned against pride and arrogance and drew a distinction between humility and a modern use of the term "authentic."
Source: https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865 ... rnoon.html

To quote a phrase "there you go again."

Just because someone understands what can so easily go wrong in a marriage like that mentioned above by brianj does not mean they are declaring "superiority". They are declaring differences, glaring irreconcilable differences that warn, or compel against these marriages. You perhaps do not know that the basis for divorce (dissolution of marriage - under California law) is ... irreconcilable differences.

To say that some of us have no intention of entering into a marriage, or do not want our daughter to enter into a marriage with the seed, no the actual basis for divorce in it is not racism, but just ordinary common sense. A rare thing indeed today, oh, and I suppose not "politically correct" crime of all crimes today.
dc

Says the man who is arguing with General Authorities and not with Silver.

You can't seem to get anything right, can you?
dc

[David13]

The issue here I think is that some are excluding groups of persons from possible marriage on race alone, not considering any other conditions. Personally I would rather see a mixed race marriage were the couple share common values, religion and such while respecting the ethnicity of the other partner than one in which they are of the same race but have differing values. I would rather have a couple married in the temple, sharing the same belief system than I would care about their racial backgrounds.

I married in the temple. My ancestry, as far back as I can research, is entirely European and Scandinavian. She refused to seriously perform family history research, but what little I do know convinces me her ancestry is mostly, if not entirely, Hakka - which are Han Chinese from Hakka speaking provinces.

She professed a strong testimony and deep desire to do what is right, but shortly after we married she made it clear that, like her contemporary ancestors, she would never submit to her husband or respect him as an authority in the family. Throughout the marriage it became increasingly clear that she placed a greater value on cultural traditions than contradicting religious teachings.

Though not a universal constant, people of different races tend to have different cultures. While they mesh well for some couples, they lead to conflict for many other couples. I know more couples than I care to count that were married for time and eternity but their marriage was torn apart in large measure due to cultural conflicts.

On the subject of children, I have observed that my two children deal with a lot of struggles and difficulty that arises from a mixed race parentage.

I wonder if people here think my unwillingness to date outside my culture and race, based on my experiences, means that I am a racist who should resign his church membership.

I certainly understand that you are not a racist. And that you should not resign your church membership. It's unfortunate you had to learn a simple truth the hard way. You have to forgive yourself.
Your church membership is the most important thing you have, for yourself and your children.
You just have to ignore the politically correct lynch mob that may make false accusations against you.
And better luck the second time around.
dc

[Silver]

To Elder Faust's testimony we can add Elder Cook's:
"Anyone who claims superiority under the Father’s plan because of characteristics like race, sex, nationality, language, or economic circumstances," said Elder Quentin L. Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve, "is morally wrong and does not understand the Lord’s true purpose for all of our Father’s children."

Elder Cook cautioned against pride and arrogance and drew a distinction between humility and a modern use of the term "authentic."
Source: https://www.deseretnews.com/article/865 ... rnoon.html

To quote a phrase "there you go again."

Just because someone understands what can so easily go wrong in a marriage like that mentioned above by brianj does not mean they are declaring "superiority". They are declaring differences, glaring irreconcilable differences that warn, or compel against these marriages. You perhaps do not know that the basis for divorce (dissolution of marriage - under California law) is ... irreconcilable differences.

To say that some of us have no intention of entering into a marriage, or do not want our daughter to enter into a marriage with the seed, no the actual basis for divorce in it is not racism, but just ordinary common sense. A rare thing indeed today, oh, and I suppose not "politically correct" crime of all crimes today.
dc

Says the man who is arguing with General Authorities and not with Silver.

You can't seem to get anything right, can you?
dc

Bwahahaha. At least Elizabeth, the Master Racist, is on your side as evidenced by her thanking your post. Elizabeth of "Race Traitor" fame. What a great couple you two make.

[Fiannan]

Bwahahaha. At least Elizabeth, the Master Racist, is on your side as evidenced by her thanking your post. Elizabeth of "Race Traitor" fame. What a great couple you two make.

I enjoy a good round of debate but seriously Silver what is your objective, just being contrary or aren't you getting enough attention from your parents?

[David13]

Bwahahaha. At least Elizabeth, the Master Racist, is on your side as evidenced by her thanking your post. Elizabeth of "Race Traitor" fame. What a great couple you two make.

I enjoy a good round of debate but seriously Silver what is your objective, just being contrary or aren't you getting enough attention from your parents?

It's an inferiority complex of some type. I'm no psychologist so I don't know the nuts and bolts of it, but it makes him think if someone states something, they are "claiming superiority". And it all makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't realize it's not someone else, it's him.
dc

Yes, it could well have been based on something about the parents.

[David13]

To quote a phrase "there you go again."

Just because someone understands what can so easily go wrong in a marriage like that mentioned above by brianj does not mean they are declaring "superiority". They are declaring differences, glaring irreconcilable differences that warn, or compel against these marriages. You perhaps do not know that the basis for divorce (dissolution of marriage - under California law) is ... irreconcilable differences.

To say that some of us have no intention of entering into a marriage, or do not want our daughter to enter into a marriage with the seed, no the actual basis for divorce in it is not racism, but just ordinary common sense. A rare thing indeed today, oh, and I suppose not "politically correct" crime of all crimes today.
dc

Says the man who is arguing with General Authorities and not with Silver.

You can't seem to get anything right, can you?
dc

Bwahahaha. At least Elizabeth, the Master Racist, is on your side as evidenced by her thanking your post. Elizabeth of "Race Traitor" fame. What a great couple you two make.

You missed brianj. Go back and review the personal and intimate information brianj posted here and in another thread. The long term tragedy where he learned the hard way.
dc

[Silver]

Bwahahaha. At least Elizabeth, the Master Racist, is on your side as evidenced by her thanking your post. Elizabeth of "Race Traitor" fame. What a great couple you two make.

I enjoy a good round of debate but seriously Silver what is your objective, just being contrary or aren't you getting enough attention from your parents?

It's an inferiority complex of some type. I'm no psychologist so I don't know the nuts and bolts of it, but it makes him think if someone states something, they are "claiming superiority". And it all makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't realize it's not someone else, it's him.
dc

I can understand why you don't like people to point out that you are kicking against the pricks. I've made my point today so I'm happy to disengage. I do feel sorry for you though.

[David13]

Bwahahaha. At least Elizabeth, the Master Racist, is on your side as evidenced by her thanking your post. Elizabeth of "Race Traitor" fame. What a great couple you two make.

I enjoy a good round of debate but seriously Silver what is your objective, just being contrary or aren't you getting enough attention from your parents?

It's an inferiority complex of some type. I'm no psychologist so I don't know the nuts and bolts of it, but it makes him think if someone states something, they are "claiming superiority". And it all makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't realize it's not someone else, it's him.
dc

I can understand why you don't like people to point out that you are kicking against the pricks. I've made my point today so I'm happy to disengage. I do feel sorry for you though.

I can assure you that you do not feel as sorry for me as I feel disappointed in you. You let me down, but more importantly you let yourself down.
dc

[Fiannan]

Bwahahaha. At least Elizabeth, the Master Racist, is on your side as evidenced by her thanking your post. Elizabeth of "Race Traitor" fame. What a great couple you two make.

I enjoy a good round of debate but seriously Silver what is your objective, just being contrary or aren't you getting enough attention from your parents?

It's an inferiority complex of some type. I'm no psychologist so I don't know the nuts and bolts of it, but it makes him think if someone states something, they are "claiming superiority". And it all makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't realize it's not someone else, it's him.
dc

I can understand why you don't like people to point out that you are kicking against the pricks. I've made my point today so I'm happy to disengage. I do feel sorry for you though.

Seriously? How egoistic are you in that statement?

[Silver]

Some LDS women are too picky, they are raised that way. I see the teenagers and young adults in my ward that drive older cars they dont ever seem to be talking to any girls, the rich mama's boys always have them piling out of their nice flashy cars or brand new jacked up trucks.

Would you do me a favor and stop speaking of the sisters in the Church in such general terms? If you want to describe a certain sister or sisters who possess the characteristics you mentioned, I wouldn't say anything. However, when you paint with a broad brush you get yourself in trouble. For example, my mom is an "LDS woman" and I don't take kindly to anyone talking bad about my mom. She is nothing like what you describe. Never was. Was your Mother "too picky?"

[David13]

Some LDS women are too picky, they are raised that way. I see the teenagers and young adults in my ward that drive older cars they dont ever seem to be talking to any girls, the rich mama's boys always have them piling out of their nice flashy cars or brand new jacked up trucks.

Would you do me a favor and stop speaking of the sisters in the Church in such general terms? If you want to describe a certain sister or sisters who possess the characteristics you mentioned, I wouldn't say anything. However, when you paint with a broad brush you get yourself in trouble. For example, my mom is an "LDS woman" and I don't take kindly to anyone talking bad about my mom. She is nothing like what you describe. Never was. Was your Mother "too picky?"

My mother definitely had a hypercritical attitude. She was at times too picky. She instilled (I think) in me a too picky attitude about some things. Therefore it would be appropriate to say about me, at least for some things, I'm too picky.
However, my mother was a Catholic. And there may have been other influences in her life that gave rise to the "too pickiness". Or hypercritical attitude.

I have never considered the truth as talking bad.

However, I'm sure Gage didn't have your mom in mind when he posted that. He had a gold digger or slight gold digger attitude in mind. Fickleness. Look at the surface, not the substance attitude which a whole lot of our American "modern" society has.

My own observation is that perhaps LDS women and girls have less of that than the general society.
dc

[gkearney]

Could be they are not interested in having a husband that can be shipped off and killed in the newest gadiantan cause.

I suspect they have little or no concerns about the "newest gadiantan cause" rather they are more focused on the modest income and modest living accomidations of a CPO.

[Ezra]

Could be they are not interested in having a husband that can be shipped off and killed in the newest gadiantan cause.

I suspect they have little or no concerns about the "newest gadiantan cause" rather they are more focused on the modest income and modest living accomidations of a CPO.

Could be both. There are lots of reasons. Gone for long periods. Hang out with typically very ruff foul mouthed crowd who after deployment struggle with high rates of depression take up smoking and drinking problems.

[gkearney]

Could be they are not interested in having a husband that can be shipped off and killed in the newest gadiantan cause.

I suspect they have little or no concerns about the "newest gadiantan cause" rather they are more focused on the modest income and modest living accomidations of a CPO.

Could be both. There are lots of reasons. Gone for long periods. Hang out with typically very ruff foul mouthed crowd who after deployment struggle with high rates of depression take up smoking and drinking problems.

Strong language is a national trait of the Australians I fear. All seem to have that fault. My son is a company commander at the basic training base, that’s right he’s a drill instructor. As such his days of long deployment are behind him not that the RAN have the sort on long deployments that the US or Royal Navy do.

My son neither drinks nor smokes both for religious as well as to stay in top physical shape, being a CC is physically demanding work.

Right now he’s been seeing a nice part aboriginal girl who is a secretary at the base.

[Elizabeth]

No,not all. My family do not , and none of my acquaintances.

Strong language is a national trait of the Australians I fear. All seem to have that fault.

[Gage]

Some LDS women are too picky, they are raised that way. I see the teenagers and young adults in my ward that drive older cars they dont ever seem to be talking to any girls, the rich mama's boys always have them piling out of their nice flashy cars or brand new jacked up trucks.

Would you do me a favor and stop speaking of the sisters in the Church in such general terms? If you want to describe a certain sister or sisters who possess the characteristics you mentioned, I wouldn't say anything. However, when you paint with a broad brush you get yourself in trouble. For example, my mom is an "LDS woman" and I don't take kindly to anyone talking bad about my mom. She is nothing like what you describe. Never was. Was your Mother "too picky?"

Relax guy, I wasn't talking about your mother or my mother or the other guys mother. When they married things were different, women were different. I was talking about young LDS princesses, I meant females.

[Silver]

Some LDS women are too picky, they are raised that way. I see the teenagers and young adults in my ward that drive older cars they dont ever seem to be talking to any girls, the rich mama's boys always have them piling out of their nice flashy cars or brand new jacked up trucks.

Would you do me a favor and stop speaking of the sisters in the Church in such general terms? If you want to describe a certain sister or sisters who possess the characteristics you mentioned, I wouldn't say anything. However, when you paint with a broad brush you get yourself in trouble. For example, my mom is an "LDS woman" and I don't take kindly to anyone talking bad about my mom. She is nothing like what you describe. Never was. Was your Mother "too picky?"

Relax guy, I wasn't talking about your mother or my mother or the other guys mother. When they married things were different, women were different. I was talking about young LDS princesses, I meant females.

It's difficult to relax when you can't even compose a coherent sentence to explain whatever it is you're trying to communicate. What is clear though is that you frequently speak poorly of LDS women in general. You look foolish doing that. I ignored it for a while but I got my fill of it and spoke out. And you responded poorly just now and again make gross generalizations, this time about LDS princesses. God loves His daughters. Maybe you should try that too.

[Fiannan]

It's difficult to relax when you can't even compose a coherent sentence to explain whatever it is you're trying to communicate. What is clear though is that you frequently speak poorly of LDS women in general. You look foolish doing that. I ignored it for a while but I got my fill of it and spoke out. And you responded poorly just now and again make gross generalizations, this time about LDS princesses. God loves His daughters. Maybe you should try that too.

Did Gage say anything about ALL LDS women? No he did not. He did address a disturbing sub-culture of LDS females who probably grew up on Disney Channel and now tune in to those bridal dress programs and have a sense of entitlement. They want a man who fits their idealized image of an apostle, they want a man who has a great earning potential but at the same time will love to go shopping with them, pay vast amounts of attention to them and make no intimacy demands on them; or expect them to keep physically fit. Heck, they secretly desire a rich gay male friend with a temple recommend. Now to be fair not all young LDS women are like that, nor probably are most non-LDS women like that. However, more than a few are and I believe this is what was being addressed.

[brianj]

Lighten up, Silver. You started by quoting Gage saying "Some LDS women..." and "I seen the teenagers and young adults in my ward..."

How do you take "some" and "in my ward" and conclude he's talking about your mother?

And he does have a valid point. If you look around you'll see the world infecting church membership. Every Sunday I see teenage girls and married women in their 20s dressing in styles that would never conceal temple garments, showing they are accepting the world's standards of how they should look instead of the Lord's.

I also see LDS women, single and married, judging men more on their income, status, or family wealth than their spiritual and personal attributes. I see guys who look like future church leaders being treated as if they are invisible by women who claim they can't find any good men.

As somebody who will be eligible to date soon, I am continually warned against dating websites. I am consistently told that I will initially get a lot of attention, especially if I post a profile picture that shows me doing something expensive or in an expensive, exotic location. But I am told that I will quickly get questioned about my income, the house I live in, the size of my investment portfolio, and so forth.

It's sad but true that an increasing number of women in the church are looking at men as providers of lifestyle and spending money than companions. Denial allows this tumor to grow and metastasize, allows the pain of this wickedness to grow exponentially, and makes eventual efforts to rid the body of a cancer much more difficult. Taking the oncological example a bit further, women are encouraged to get mammograms regularly because it's easy to excise a small tumor but when the cancer has spread throughout a region of the body it's a lot more difficult and painful to treat. A stage 1 tumor is easy to remove. A stage 4 cancer will lead to very painful chemotherapy with a very low probability of success.

[Silver]

Lighten up, Silver. You started by quoting Gage saying "Some LDS women..." and "I seen the teenagers and young adults in my ward..."

How do you take "some" and "in my ward" and conclude he's talking about your mother?

And he does have a valid point. If you look around you'll see the world infecting church membership. Every Sunday I see teenage girls and married women in their 20s dressing in styles that would never conceal temple garments, showing they are accepting the world's standards of how they should look instead of the Lord's.

I also see LDS women, single and married, judging men more on their income, status, or family wealth than their spiritual and personal attributes. I see guys who look like future church leaders being treated as if they are invisible by women who claim they can't find any good men.

As somebody who will be eligible to date soon, I am continually warned against dating websites. I am consistently told that I will initially get a lot of attention, especially if I post a profile picture that shows me doing something expensive or in an expensive, exotic location. But I am told that I will quickly get questioned about my income, the house I live in, the size of my investment portfolio, and so forth.

It's sad but true that an increasing number of women in the church are looking at men as providers of lifestyle and spending money than companions. Denial allows this tumor to grow and metastasize, allows the pain of this wickedness to grow exponentially, and makes eventual efforts to rid the body of a cancer much more difficult. Taking the oncological example a bit further, women are encouraged to get mammograms regularly because it's easy to excise a small tumor but when the cancer has spread throughout a region of the body it's a lot more difficult and painful to treat. A stage 1 tumor is easy to remove. A stage 4 cancer will lead to very painful chemotherapy with a very low probability of success.

The post in question is not the first offense. Bashing women is a frequent theme of his.

[Spaced_Out]

Personally I think woman are more focused on temple marriage and the men give up as job opportunities are not there and job security is very bad. Far too many YSA still live with parents so the males avoid the dating scene and church as it is basically a lots cause. So the sisters stay more active and spiritually focused the males just fad away from the church.

There are a few prophecies in scripture about punishment of the woman in the last days due to apparel etc..- so there are a good few woman whose motive may not the best. Perhaps it is out of desperation due to the gender number gap.

I don't buy it for one minuet than males in the church find it difficult to get suitable partners....

[Fiannan]

The post in question is not the first offense. Bashing women is a frequent theme of his.

Of course you have proof, right?

[Fiannan]

Personally I think woman are more focused on temple marriage and the men give up as job opportunities are not there and job security is very bad. Far too many YSA still live with parents so the males avoid the dating scene and church as it is basically a lots cause. So the sisters stay more active and spiritually focused the males just fad away from the church.

There are a few prophecies in scripture about punishment of the woman in the last days due to apparel etc..- so there are a good few woman whose motive may not the best. Perhaps it is out of desperation due to the gender number gap.

I don't buy it for one minuet than males in the church find it difficult to get suitable partners....

You actually have a good point there in the first paragraph. I think the Church in the new "Self Reliance" program is trying tis best to deal with how to make it in today's economy.

On the second point it has been shown in studies that women when they are ovulating dress in whatever their most alluring clothing is. They may not be aware of why but their bodies and subconscious want to get pregnant. That is the natural order of things. And when there is a shortage of available men women, no matter how conservative they may have been brought up, will start bending the rules to get a mate. And in regards to our young women many might find themselves in what we could call "Eve's Dilemma." They are told from day one that they have to find a husband and have children. So now you have the conscious and sub conscious focused on a goal. So they will begin to dress more provocatively, use more makeup...and cut corners in the morals department. Heck, get a man and you can repent later.

Isn't enforced monogamy wonderful?

[Mark]

Personally I think woman are more focused on temple marriage and the men give up as job opportunities are not there and job security is very bad. Far too many YSA still live with parents so the males avoid the dating scene and church as it is basically a lots cause. So the sisters stay more active and spiritually focused the males just fad away from the church.

There are a few prophecies in scripture about punishment of the woman in the last days due to apparel etc..- so there are a good few woman whose motive may not the best. Perhaps it is out of desperation due to the gender number gap.

I don't buy it for one minuet than males in the church find it difficult to get suitable partners....

You actually have a good point there in the first paragraph. I think the Church in the new "Self Reliance" program is trying tis best to deal with how to make it in today's economy.

On the second point it has been shown in studies that women when they are ovulating dress in whatever their most alluring clothing is. They may not be aware of why but their bodies and subconscious want to get pregnant. That is the natural order of things. And when there is a shortage of available men women, no matter how conservative they may have been brought up, will start bending the rules to get a mate. And in regards to our young women many might find themselves in what we could call "Eve's Dilemma." They are told from day one that they have to find a husband and have children. So now you have the conscious and sub conscious focused on a goal. So they will begin to dress more provocatively, use more makeup...and cut corners in the morals department. Heck, get a man and you can repent later.

Isn't enforced monogamy wonderful?

Here's your proof. Good grief man if I were an LDS women and read your psycho babble that you continually spout off concerning your Freudian studies about women and polygamy and sex I would think you were consumed with the need to talk about this stuff because you had a bad relationship with a women and want to take shots at them. How's that for a psyche evaluation? You seem fixated on women's sexual needs. Unfortunately you seem to use Kinseyian Babylonian like crap in your observations. Why the fixation? Am I right or am I right?