Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

[NewgirlME]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

[Alaris]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

This may sound silly, but have you prayed asking for specifics? Have you asked for help? Have you asked friends and loved ones? This all requires some humility, but so does posting on a public forum about finding a spouse, so you may already be there!

Personally, I believe some people already have a spouse they are intended to marry, and the timing may just not be right now. My wife and I feel this way strongly, and we both had to trudge through a telestial marriage first before finding each other. Hang in there!

[Ezra]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

Lds internet dating sights. That's were I met my wife.

[Alaris]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

Lds internet dating sights. That's were I met my wife.

Me too, but as with all dating sites, beware of the creepers!

[dafty]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

marry me?

[Alaris]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

marry me?

I got "Beware of the Creepers" out just in time! (Note to BrianM: Dafty knows I'm joking )

[dafty]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

marry me?

I got "Beware of the Creepers" out just in time! (Note to BrianM: Dafty knows I'm joking )

Send him to where he belongs brian- the outer darkness

[dafty]

In all seriousness tho, I didnt mean to derail ur thread. The lds dating sites are probably the way to go these days. Good luck to you and welcome to the forum

[e-eye2.0]

My nephew was just engaged to a girl who is a recent convert and family are members - they were not to excited about all of this but have at least softened their hearts on it. Do you have hope

I am way out of the dating game but yeah, try some LDS dating websites. Good luck!

[Army Of Truth]

I'm in the same boat. Been in it for 9 years. I'm the captain of this boat by now! LoL!
Have you tried online dating sites like Plenty of Fish, lds planet, Tinder, etc? These are the ones I've had success with.
or even on Facebook they have many different LDS Singles groups that you can join. They have fun activities/parties/dances every so often that are always packed.

[Rose Garden]

Forget about marriage and live a full single life. Marriage will come your way if it's meant to be. In the meantime, you'll be having fun and doing good.

[NewgirlME]

Thanks everyone!


A lot of lds sites are geared towards the U.S right? I live in Europe(Sweden) so it's harder. Or does anyone know any decent sites where one can meet Lds people?

I guess I just have to stay positive!

[NewgirlME]

Forget about marriage and live a full single life. Marriage will come your way if it's meant to be. In the meantime, you'll be having fun and doing good.

But it's hard, my family really doesn't support my Christian walk... I just have to see the bright side of things.

[NewgirlME]

I'm in the same boat. Been in it for 9 years. I'm the captain of this boat by now! LoL!
Have you tried online dating sites like Plenty of Fish, lds planet, Tinder, etc? These are the ones I've had success with.
or even on Facebook they have many different LDS Singles groups that you can join. They have fun activities/parties/dances every so often that are always packed.

I have to check out whats available. Would be nice with a Facebook page for us singles!!!

[NewgirlME]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

Lds internet dating sights. That's were I met my wife.

Wow that is encouraging!

[NewgirlME]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

marry me?

Okay sure lol. Bring it onn

[Elizabeth]

Hi NewgirlME, Welcome to the forum. How did you manage to remain single till aged 33 whilst being of the Islamic faith?

[Rose Garden]

Forget about marriage and live a full single life. Marriage will come your way if it's meant to be. In the meantime, you'll be having fun and doing good.

But it's hard, my family really doesn't support my Christian walk... I just have to see the bright side of things.

The thing about marriage is that it requires someone else to use their agency to fulfill it. Because of that, you are likely to encounter a great deal of problems if you try to force the issue. Many people have only found their spouses after they stopped focusing on marriage.

You might have heard that marriage is not a 50/50 deal but a 100/100 deal. In other words, each spouse cannot only put in 50%. They must both put in 100% in order to make it work. 100% man and 100% woman make a 100% marriage.

That is why you need to live a full single life. You need to be a 100% woman so you can attract a 100% man. When you are focusing on how you are not married, you are seeing yourself as a 50% person, needing someone else to make you whole. Only by living a full life as a single can you be truly prepared for marriage. Only when you are truly prepared for marriage will you be led to the right person and have them led to you.

[Alaris]

Forget about marriage and live a full single life. Marriage will come your way if it's meant to be. In the meantime, you'll be having fun and doing good.

But it's hard, my family really doesn't support my Christian walk... I just have to see the bright side of things.

The thing about marriage is that it requires someone else to use their agency to fulfill it. Because of that, you are likely to encounter a great deal of problems if you try to force the issue. Many people have only found their spouses after they stopped focusing on marriage.

You might have heard that marriage is not a 50/50 deal but a 100/100 deal. In other words, each spouse cannot only put in 50%. They must both put in 100% in order to make it work. 100% man and 100% woman make a 100% marriage.

That is why you need to live a full single life. You need to be a 100% woman so you can attract a 100% man. When you are focusing on how you are not married, you are seeing yourself as a 50% person, needing someone else to make you whole. Only by living a full life as a single can you be truly prepared for marriage. Only when you are truly prepared for marriage will you be led to the right person and have them led to you.

*sniff* That was beautiful.

[brianj]

Welcome, and thank you for being so open with your question.

I am in a similar situation to you. After more than 20 years of marriage my wife left the church and me, leaving me in the middle of a messy and painful divorce. I'm a convert to the church so I have no ties to others via sealing, other than the one sealing that will be canceled (hopefully soon). And I didn't grow up in a close family so I don't even have family support that would be so helpful in my current circumstances. All of this has left me with a deep desire for the love that I never had in my marriage, a strong desire to find a woman from one of those big, close knit Mormon families I have so often seen, a serious shortage of trust in both my ability to choose a good woman and single women who might be interested in me, feelings that I'm not good enough for anybody to want me, and all the anxiety you feel.

What's the antidote? The answer is so easy, and so hard. It's faith. Have faith that your Heavenly Father will never lead you wrong. Exercise your faith by doing what you can to keep the commandments. Read from the Book of Mormon every day. As you get to know the scriptures turn your reading into studying. Pray several times per day. Seek the gift of the Holy Ghost. Then have the faith to ask for guidance and follow the inspiration you receive. As you do this pray to become the person your husband will need you to be, and pray that he will be prepared to be the person you need him to be. If you are anywhere close to Västerhaninge, go to the temple as often as you can. If you haven't been endowed, that's okay. Go do baptisms.


One thing that someone suggested, that has been a big help to me for now, is to write a list of attributes you want in a spouse. Then comes the hard part: determine what aperson like that would want you to be then work on becoming that person. I am obese, but some of the attributes that I want are someone who is physically active and adventurous. Does someone like that want someone who could put on a fur coat and pass as a walrus? I need to work on this. Others come easily for me. I want someone who is a faithful visiting teacher. Every single month I have put effort into making appointments with my families and I have visited every time I was welcome to.

This approach helps me to become a better person and live a more fulfilling life while waiting for my eternal companion. I need to do my best to be what Heavenly Father wants me to be while I endure this divorce then start seeking my eternal companion. By doing so I will be a faithful servant of our Father in Heaven and my fellow man. I will be useful and valuable in the church and will become the person my eternal companion will be.

It is very difficult to be alone in this church. I know this far more intimately than I wish to. But I also know that marrying the wrong person can pull us away from Heavenly Father and cause far more pain than being alone. Just be faithful and focus on becoming a better person. Join websites for LDS singles if you wish, attend events for singles, and have fun with faith that you will find the right person when the time is right.

[gardener4life]

I have this concern too. I've tried really hard. But its not easy. I couldn't even find girls willing to accept dates. I used the internet LDS dating sites for a time. They are really rough on people unless you make a lot of money and have a house already. If you don't fit in those categories or if you aren't fitting the mold of a stereotypical mormon (but not have any problems or issues) then they won't work for you. I went through a period of over 5 years of supposedly good Mormon sisters not even accepting dates from me and I don't think I'm bad looking. I'm not overweight either.

I want to say steer clear of the LDS dating sites and instead focus on going to the temple and seeing who is going to the temple of the opposite sex that's still single. Some of those people meet in the temple cafeterias on Friday and Saturday evenings is what I'm told.

Why stay away from the LDS dating sites?

Simply put they are absolutely terrible with how they treat people. If you want to be treated like someone at a grocery store checkout stand that might work for you. They are really bad and because people think there's this infinite flow of people flowing through the lines to meet they think that you can pretty much treat everyone like a piece of sand. I had some awful experiences where most of the women that would talk to me on those would only ask me what was on my tax return. That's all they wanted to know. It was almost always very clever wording along the lines of...what's your line x on form 1040EZ. Or they'd say sure I'll go on a date with you for a $100 bucks.

That was confusing because those were the supposed church going people.

Nobody ever asked me what I like to do, and how I spend my time.

I think you need to get away from any kind of dating system that is going to treat you like a conveyor belt.

[NewgirlME]

Thank you all, wonderful ppl! I'm gonna read from the book of mormon everyday and have faith.

BUT, I also think it's ok to have these discussions going - being open about it, since it shouldn't be a problem in this century todate online. Yet there are few real routes that can lead to marriage. Maybe we need to do sth about this?

[Gage]

Its not hard for a woman to find a husband, he may not be a good husband but its not hard to find one. If you are overweight lose the weight and then be nice to single men that you are attracted to, you will get asked out a lot. Just lose the weight if you are obese. Doesnt matter how your face looks, makeup can make any woman look at least decent. Its all about your body, you gota be fit and you will attract men.

[Tbone]

(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim)

I don't mean to derail the thread or get too personal, but this comment sounds fascinating. Any chance you might be able to share a bit of your conversion story?

Does Sweden have any type of mid-single adults program? Also, this is risky, but any chance you can find a non-member who may be sincerely interested in the gospel (not just because you say you won't marry him unless he joins) and help convert him?

[NewgirlME]

(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim)

I don't mean to derail the thread or get too personal, but this comment sounds fascinating. Any chance you might be able to share a bit of your conversion story?

Does Sweden have any type of mid-single adults program? Also, this is risky, but any chance you can find a non-member who may be sincerely interested in the gospel (not just because you say you won't marry him unless he joins) and help convert him?

Hi,

Sure I can share some of my story. It basically was at a time of grief that I found Jesus. After that I walked the Christian faith, joining many churches. Aftera few years, it was taking a toll on me to be so lonely and no family (support, lived alone)... and I found the Mormondivision.
It's still hard after quite some years...to beat the lonely/no support feeling. The tone of my family is getting harsher, so I rarely visit church. I'm just trying to pray I find a good Christian or Mormon to share my faith with. Some days are harder than others.

I guess it's easier to maybe find a non-Mormon but many are not so eager for the gospel (at least the ones Ive met). I havent seen any activities for singles, but I have to check further.