Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

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Mark
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Mark »

Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:11 am
... I would think you were consumed with the need to talk about this stuff because you had a bad relationship with a women and want to take shots at them. How's that for a psyche evaluation? You seem fixated on women's sexual needs. Unfortunately you seem to use Kinseyian Babylonian like crap in your observations. Why the fixation? Am I right or am I right?
Kinsey was not into psychology or Freud; he was a biologist who had major problems with sampling bias.

As for your interesting hypothesis I have to say the opposite. I am not taking shots at women in general...I merely don't put them on any sort of imaginary pedestal. And since I have no illusions about them being the "fairer sex" or some such bunk I have not had a problem in interacting with women.

Oh, and you might note that when women are the center of a religion, as in pre-Abrahamic Middle Eastern societies, and probably during the era of Noah,and even neo-Paganism today, the religion tends to be way more sexual than male-centered religions. What does that tell you?

It tells me that Mrs. Fiannan must be a VERY patient little women if there still is a Mrs. Fiannan. :cry:

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David13
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by David13 »

Mark wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:44 am
Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:11 am
... I would think you were consumed with the need to talk about this stuff because you had a bad relationship with a women and want to take shots at them. How's that for a psyche evaluation? You seem fixated on women's sexual needs. Unfortunately you seem to use Kinseyian Babylonian like crap in your observations. Why the fixation? Am I right or am I right?
Kinsey was not into psychology or Freud; he was a biologist who had major problems with sampling bias.

As for your interesting hypothesis I have to say the opposite. I am not taking shots at women in general...I merely don't put them on any sort of imaginary pedestal. And since I have no illusions about them being the "fairer sex" or some such bunk I have not had a problem in interacting with women.

Oh, and you might note that when women are the center of a religion, as in pre-Abrahamic Middle Eastern societies, and probably during the era of Noah,and even neo-Paganism today, the religion tends to be way more sexual than male-centered religions. What does that tell you?

It tells me that Mrs. Fiannan must be a VERY patient little women if there still is a Mrs. Fiannan. :cry:
Any marriage requires patience.
dc

Crackers
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Crackers »

Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:03 am
Crackers wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:00 am
Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 7:36 am
The post in question is not the first offense. Bashing women is a frequent theme of his.
Of course you have proof, right?
I'll be the second witness. I have seen him post several times in the same manner, bashing LDS women as if they are all .... well, it gives me pause to even restate it. Much like the way you are often pointing out the virtues of polygamy and moderate pornography use.
False witnessing....something in the scriptures about that...let's see...Charlton Heston was in a movie about it...

No, I have not said there are virtues about pornography. I have generally said what the Church is saying now that only a small percentage of users are addicted in the psychological sense.
To be fair, I have never noticed you make a direct statement of such regarding pornography. However, your seeming obsession with the topic and your aversion to its vilification, coupled with your desire to discuss other sexual perversions (robots come to mind), would lead someone to to that obvious conclusion. Sorry if an unjustified leap was made.

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Mark
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Mark »

Crackers wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:54 am
Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:03 am
Crackers wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:00 am
Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 7:36 am

Of course you have proof, right?
I'll be the second witness. I have seen him post several times in the same manner, bashing LDS women as if they are all .... well, it gives me pause to even restate it. Much like the way you are often pointing out the virtues of polygamy and moderate pornography use.
False witnessing....something in the scriptures about that...let's see...Charlton Heston was in a movie about it...

No, I have not said there are virtues about pornography. I have generally said what the Church is saying now that only a small percentage of users are addicted in the psychological sense.
To be fair, I have never noticed you make a direct statement of such regarding pornography. However, your seeming obsession with the topic and your aversion to its vilification, coupled with your desire to discuss other sexual perversions (robots come to mind), would lead someone to to that obvious conclusion. Sorry if an unjustified leap was made.

Unjustified? I don't think so. It's like Pavlov's dog like stimulus stuff with this obsession.

Crackers
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Crackers »

Gage wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:01 am Maybe its different where you guys live. You can take it however you like sir but I am not trying to bash women. I've been LDS since birth. I know how the young women are treated, I know how they are perceived, and I know what some look for in a boyfriend and a husband. SOME not ALL. I do try to be careful and not clump all women together, if I have it was not intentional. Every Bishop I have ever known treated the young men and the young women the same way. The boys were treated like manipulators and the girls told to look out and stay clear. Watch out for those young men they will use every trick in the book they were told, ha, funny thing is we were all virgins while most of the girls were having sex. The young women were and still are treated differently, they are seen as they do no wrong, do I say this to bash women, nope, just stating what I have observed for over 30 years. Maybe the water is different here, but "some" of the young women in the Church, date and marry the guys with the nice car and money. I do not say this to bash women, nothing wrong with being with someone who can provide for his family. What I do see more of is a young married woman showing up in her Escalade, alone, in the dress that turns heads, while her rich non member husband is home in bed. Do I have a problem with that, no I most certainly do not, am I bashing a woman for marrying a rich guy, no I most certainly am not. I simply was stating that not all LDS women go for the young lower middle class Priesthood holder who will be Bishop by the time he is 40.
You may or may not find such women wherever you go. I was not and am not that woman, and neither are many, many wonderful women that I know, and it hurts to hear someone say such things. I sense the pain and intensity in your posts, and I urge you to let it go. No good comes from the generalized bashing of LDS women (or any others for that matter). You say that you try not to generalize, but you do, even in this latest post. I seem to remember you stating that you are married now, so this should no longer be an issue for you directly.

At one time, I had a particular naughty person peripherally in my life (a roomate) who for a brief time tried her best to ruin my life and my reputation. I had a hard time letting go of it all and forgiving her. The first step I was able to make in that direction was to feel sorry for her. It softened my feelings to the point where I eventually could truly let it go. (It didn't hurt things that she later found herself on the wrong side of the law with her employer and wound up in jail, as I heard.) What I am saying is, find a way to start viewing people in a more charitable way, and let the pain of the past go. When you make a point of getting to know individuals on a personal and meaningful basis, you start to view their faults differently, as something that ails them more than something that they just "are" or that they rudely cling to. And generalizations are harder to support when you know individuals better. Everyone has their own story.

Gage
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Gage »

Crackers wrote: October 4th, 2017, 9:18 am
Gage wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:01 am Maybe its different where you guys live. You can take it however you like sir but I am not trying to bash women. I've been LDS since birth. I know how the young women are treated, I know how they are perceived, and I know what some look for in a boyfriend and a husband. SOME not ALL. I do try to be careful and not clump all women together, if I have it was not intentional. Every Bishop I have ever known treated the young men and the young women the same way. The boys were treated like manipulators and the girls told to look out and stay clear. Watch out for those young men they will use every trick in the book they were told, ha, funny thing is we were all virgins while most of the girls were having sex. The young women were and still are treated differently, they are seen as they do no wrong, do I say this to bash women, nope, just stating what I have observed for over 30 years. Maybe the water is different here, but "some" of the young women in the Church, date and marry the guys with the nice car and money. I do not say this to bash women, nothing wrong with being with someone who can provide for his family. What I do see more of is a young married woman showing up in her Escalade, alone, in the dress that turns heads, while her rich non member husband is home in bed. Do I have a problem with that, no I most certainly do not, am I bashing a woman for marrying a rich guy, no I most certainly am not. I simply was stating that not all LDS women go for the young lower middle class Priesthood holder who will be Bishop by the time he is 40.
You may or may not find such women wherever you go. I was not and am not that woman, and neither are many, many wonderful women that I know, and it hurts to hear someone say such things. I sense the pain and intensity in your posts, and I urge you to let it go. No good comes from the generalized bashing of LDS women (or any others for that matter). You say that you try not to generalize, but you do, even in this latest post. I seem to remember you stating that you are married now, so this should no longer be an issue for you directly.

At one time, I had a particular naughty person peripherally in my life (a roomate) who for a brief time tried her best to ruin my life and my reputation. I had a hard time letting go of it all and forgiving her. The first step I was able to make in that direction was to feel sorry for her. It softened my feelings to the point where I eventually could truly let it go. (It didn't hurt things that she later found herself on the wrong side of the law with her employer and wound up in jail, as I heard.) What I am saying is, find a way to start viewing people in a more charitable way, and let the pain of the past go. When you make a point of getting to know individuals on a personal and meaningful basis, you start to view their faults differently, as something that ails them more than something that they just "are" or that they rudely cling to. And generalizations are harder to support when you know individuals better. Everyone has their own story.

I have no ill feelings towards women. Just like I mentioned to the OP if she wants to broaden her pool of potential mates, lose weight if she is overweight. I would tell a young man sorta the same, if you want a chance at the better looking females, you better have something to offer, sorry but just being a faithful Priesthood holder but broke is not going to get her in a wedding dress. It might sometimes, sometimes it might, but many times probably not. Its just the way it is.. This in no way implies that I hate women. When you were scouting for a potential husband, did you ask people where do the poor guys hang out?

Fiannan
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Fiannan »

It tells me that Mrs. Fiannan must be a VERY patient little women if there still is a Mrs. Fiannan.
Do you realize just how blatantly sexist that statement is towards women?

Fiannan
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Fiannan »

To be fair, I have never noticed you make a direct statement of such regarding pornography. However, your seeming obsession with the topic and your aversion to its vilification, coupled with your desire to discuss other sexual perversions (robots come to mind), would lead someone to to that obvious conclusion. Sorry if an unjustified leap was made.
The General Authorities talk a lot about pornography and issues relating to sexuality so are you sayng they are obsessed?

And anyone who does not recognize where the robotic revolution is heading really needs to get informed. Maybe hiding one's head in the sand and hope it goes away might be a viable option?

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Yahtzee
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Yahtzee »

Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:03 am
Crackers wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:00 am
Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 7:36 am

Of course you have proof, right?
I'll be the second witness. I have seen him post several times in the same manner, bashing LDS women as if they are all .... well, it gives me pause to even restate it. Much like the way you are often pointing out the virtues of polygamy and moderate pornography use.
False witnessing....something in the scriptures about that...let's see...Charlton Heston was in a movie about it...
third witness. We've called him on it before.
But I can tell he is making greater efforts to use the word "some".

Crackers
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Crackers »

Gage wrote: October 4th, 2017, 10:02 am
Crackers wrote: October 4th, 2017, 9:18 am
Gage wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:01 am Maybe its different where you guys live. You can take it however you like sir but I am not trying to bash women. I've been LDS since birth. I know how the young women are treated, I know how they are perceived, and I know what some look for in a boyfriend and a husband. SOME not ALL. I do try to be careful and not clump all women together, if I have it was not intentional. Every Bishop I have ever known treated the young men and the young women the same way. The boys were treated like manipulators and the girls told to look out and stay clear. Watch out for those young men they will use every trick in the book they were told, ha, funny thing is we were all virgins while most of the girls were having sex. The young women were and still are treated differently, they are seen as they do no wrong, do I say this to bash women, nope, just stating what I have observed for over 30 years. Maybe the water is different here, but "some" of the young women in the Church, date and marry the guys with the nice car and money. I do not say this to bash women, nothing wrong with being with someone who can provide for his family. What I do see more of is a young married woman showing up in her Escalade, alone, in the dress that turns heads, while her rich non member husband is home in bed. Do I have a problem with that, no I most certainly do not, am I bashing a woman for marrying a rich guy, no I most certainly am not. I simply was stating that not all LDS women go for the young lower middle class Priesthood holder who will be Bishop by the time he is 40.
You may or may not find such women wherever you go. I was not and am not that woman, and neither are many, many wonderful women that I know, and it hurts to hear someone say such things. I sense the pain and intensity in your posts, and I urge you to let it go. No good comes from the generalized bashing of LDS women (or any others for that matter). You say that you try not to generalize, but you do, even in this latest post. I seem to remember you stating that you are married now, so this should no longer be an issue for you directly.

At one time, I had a particular naughty person peripherally in my life (a roomate) who for a brief time tried her best to ruin my life and my reputation. I had a hard time letting go of it all and forgiving her. The first step I was able to make in that direction was to feel sorry for her. It softened my feelings to the point where I eventually could truly let it go. (It didn't hurt things that she later found herself on the wrong side of the law with her employer and wound up in jail, as I heard.) What I am saying is, find a way to start viewing people in a more charitable way, and let the pain of the past go. When you make a point of getting to know individuals on a personal and meaningful basis, you start to view their faults differently, as something that ails them more than something that they just "are" or that they rudely cling to. And generalizations are harder to support when you know individuals better. Everyone has their own story.

I have no ill feelings towards women. Just like I mentioned to the OP if she wants to broaden her pool of potential mates, lose weight if she is overweight. I would tell a young man sorta the same, if you want a chance at the better looking females, you better have something to offer, sorry but just being a faithful Priesthood holder but broke is not going to get her in a wedding dress. It might sometimes, sometimes it might, but many times probably not. Its just the way it is.. This in no way implies that I hate women. When you were scouting for a potential husband, did you ask people where do the poor guys hang out?
Since you asked, no, and neither did I ask where the rich guys hung out. Let me spell it out. I dated two men on career paths to making A LOT of money. I ended each relationship on the merits of the men/relationship alone, through the HG's guidance in helping me find my spouse. I didn't ' have any idea what my husband was making in his career when we were dating, though I would have expected it to be much less than the other two if you had asked me. And I would have been correct. And I am happy with my exceptional husband.

Edit because I might anticpate your response:
When I met him, my husband was sharing an apartment with two other men and drove a used truck. I also dated men who would fall into these categories: no career or career path, never went to college, made very little money. I even remember going out with someone who had recently been a homeless drug addict. Who, BTW, I am still friends with and who also turned out to be an exceptional husband to someone else. (If you're out there reading this, R, no offense meant. Just using your unhappy past to prove a point.)
Last edited by Crackers on October 4th, 2017, 12:04 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Mark
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Mark »

Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 10:08 am
It tells me that Mrs. Fiannan must be a VERY patient little women if there still is a Mrs. Fiannan.
Do you realize just how blatantly sexist that statement is towards women?

Haha I love this site. It's so much fun. :!: :!:

Fiannan
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Fiannan »

Sorry, not pointing any fingers at anyone but if one does not understand psychology, the occult sciences and the goals of the NWO (or what we often see accused as such) then they are going to be the ones without armour. Satan employs a lot of tools and if a marketer can determine what sort of soap you will buy if they make the package a certain color then you had better believe the most powerful people in this world know how to pull your strings and destroy your family. I have seen more aware families turn out great kids in regards to moral principles but others who sheltered their kids wind up with their kids posting pics of their trip to Ibiza dancing in their underwear.

As for the whole false accusation on defending porn if you took recent statements from the Ensign on the subject and ran them through a standard university plagerism check site it would not surprise me if some of the statements I have made (and been attacked for here) would pop up - thus implying I was copied since I said these things a long time ago.

RAB
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by RAB »

These race related issues were issues I had to confront when I dated my wife. While I am Caucasian, my wife is Japanese-American, but culturally anglo-american...as in, speaks only a few Japanese words for food that she learned from her parents and grandparents (Great-grandparents were the ones who came from Japan). Her dad and brother spoke Japanese, only because they served missions to Japan.

So, while dating my wonderful wife, my cousin told me about that quote by President Kimball, and it took me some time to understand what he was saying. When the advice was given, it was sound advice. Interracial couples had many more challenges back then. With problems that may arise from cultural differences, and the bad assumptions the bretheren were operating under as it regards to race, it is not difficult to see why President Kimball provided that counsel. President Kimball also warned about marrying outside of your economic class. I don't believe he was being racist or elitist. I think he was saying, marriage is hard enough, why add additional stressors to it?

After a discussion with my uncle about it, who is very steeped in Mormon doctrine and culture, he and I both concluded that, even if President Kimball's counsel did still apply to my day, when inter-racial marriages were much more accepted, his advice was really relating to culture, not race. I was living the spirit of the advice because my lovely wife was of the same culture, and we saw eye to eye on every important decision...our commitment to Christ and His church, how many children we wanted to have, and when/if she would work outside of the home. Not to mention the spirit told me very strongly that I should marry her. So, I did, and it has been one of the best decisions of my life. In retrospect, I find it interesting that I was always more physically attracted to non-white women, perhaps in preparation for meeting and marrying my wife. Likewise, she was never interested in dating Asian men, because to her, they reminded her of her own family.

So, I do understand the point about physical preferences not equating to racism. Though I was physically attracted to non-white women, I was not racist against white women. I dated some of them too. But, Elizabeth's statement was not about preferences. Her statement was that her daughter cannot marry someone of "Negro or Asian" ancestry. Make no mistake, that is indeed a racist statement. One, she did not consider whether her daughter was attracted to any non-white people, but rather spoke to her own preference that her daughter not marry someone of that ancestry. So her statement was not one concerning her daughter's preference, as some apologists are trying to say. Two, she added the term "race traitor" in a later post, which clearly reinforces the idea that anyone who marries outside of their race is a traitor to their race. Obviously that statement is completely racist, as again, it does not speak to the individual preferences of those engaged in such an interracial marriage, but is a blanket rule based on race.

If I have misunderstood the statements, I apologize, and she can surely correct it. But, without a clarification, and despite the apologists trying to cover for the statements, both statements seem pretty racist.

Spaced_Out
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Spaced_Out »

RAB wrote: October 4th, 2017, 2:58 pm These race related issues were issues I had to confront when I dated my wife. While I am Caucasian, my wife is Japanese-American, but culturally anglo-american...as in, speaks only a few Japanese words for food that she learned from her parents and grandparents (Great-grandparents were the ones who came from Japan). Her dad and brother spoke Japanese, only because they served missions to Japan....
To me as I posted before race is not skin colour or looks but culture and preferences. Some people after 3 to 4 generations in a country fully embrace the culture, customs and way of life, lifestyle and outlook on life, but many don't and it makes for difficulties in marriage and rearing children. I have also seen much problems due to grandparents on either side sabotaging things. In some cultures the spouse still follow and or are dominated by the parents even after marriage. These kinds of customs can tear things apart, many don't see it till it is too late.

Yes with today's technology and breakdown in families - strong family traditions and cultures are not so prevalent in western society but it is not the same with other cultures.
The original poster of this thread has made lots of references about not being accepted by her own family due to religion. If one marries a person like that they have to choose between you and their family, basically break ties with their family that is something that has to be sorted out prior to marriage.
I had a friend is a similar situation and when things got heated while still courting he would purposefully set things up to force his 'partner' to choose one ore the other. When she back the parents out of tradition despite it being not the right thing to do it was bye bye. Both of them were from western culture and same upbringing, schools but great grandparents were from two originally different European languages/countries.

Having attraction to persons of markedly different genetics is a bit wired, I always found the Book of Mormon comment on that kind thing interesting. You guys have lots of racist things to say about Elizabeth but the BoM is actually very racist. The people of Ammon. lamanite converts were not forced to mix with Nephites but were given their own lands to live as a separate people. Today it is forced integration like the Muslim refugees that are flooding Europe, and it is not working.

I grew up in South Africa under the apartheid system where there were different facilities for blacks and whites, white only toilets, beaches schools etc.. In the scriptures there are 12 tribes of Israel and in Zion the new Jerusalem temple will have 12 gates one for each tribe to go through - I always have a good laugh when I read that. Even in heaven there is still tribalism.
When I took my children few years back to get their patriarchal blessing the patriarch and I had a good discussion on tribes etc.. He said the time he gave a blessing and gave the person a different tribe than the parents - the wife was jumping up and shouting NO NO NO and putting up a big fuss during the blessing that the husband had to literally pick her up and carry her out the room so he could finish the blessing - and he still has the tape with all the commotion recorded.

2Nephi5:21 'that they might not be enticing'!! we will have to ban the BoM from this forum as well.

Silver
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Silver »

Spaced_Out wrote: October 5th, 2017, 4:45 am
RAB wrote: October 4th, 2017, 2:58 pm These race related issues were issues I had to confront when I dated my wife. While I am Caucasian, my wife is Japanese-American, but culturally anglo-american...as in, speaks only a few Japanese words for food that she learned from her parents and grandparents (Great-grandparents were the ones who came from Japan). Her dad and brother spoke Japanese, only because they served missions to Japan....
To me as I posted before race is not skin colour or looks but culture and preferences. Some people after 3 to 4 generations in a country fully embrace the culture, customs and way of life, lifestyle and outlook on life, but many don't and it makes for difficulties in marriage and rearing children. I have also seen much problems due to grandparents on either side sabotaging things. In some cultures the spouse still follow and or are dominated by the parents even after marriage. These kinds of customs can tear things apart, many don't see it till it is too late.

Yes with today's technology and breakdown in families - strong family traditions and cultures are not so prevalent in western society but it is not the same with other cultures.
The original poster of this thread has made lots of references about not being accepted by her own family due to religion. If one marries a person like that they have to choose between you and their family, basically break ties with their family that is something that has to be sorted out prior to marriage.
I had a friend is a similar situation and when things got heated while still courting he would purposefully set things up to force his 'partner' to choose one ore the other. When she back the parents out of tradition despite it being not the right thing to do it was bye bye. Both of them were from western culture and same upbringing, schools but great grandparents were from two originally different European languages/countries.

Having attraction to persons of markedly different genetics is a bit wired, I always found the Book of Mormon comment on that kind thing interesting. You guys have lots of racist things to say about Elizabeth but the BoM is actually very racist. The people of Ammon. lamanite converts were not forced to mix with Nephites but were given their own lands to live as a separate people. Today it is forced integration like the Muslim refugees that are flooding Europe, and it is not working.

I grew up in South Africa under the apartheid system where there were different facilities for blacks and whites, white only toilets, beaches schools etc.. In the scriptures there are 12 tribes of Israel and in Zion the new Jerusalem temple will have 12 gates one for each tribe to go through - I always have a good laugh when I read that. Even in heaven there is still tribalism.
When I took my children few years back to get their patriarchal blessing the patriarch and I had a good discussion on tribes etc.. He said the time he gave a blessing and gave the person a different tribe than the parents - the wife was jumping up and shouting NO NO NO and putting up a big fuss during the blessing that the husband had to literally pick her up and carry her out the room so he could finish the blessing - and he still has the tape with all the commotion recorded.

2Nephi5:21 'that they might not be enticing'!! we will have to ban the BoM from this forum as well.
This is so messed up.

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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Fiannan »

This is so messed up.
Please elaborate.

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harakim
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by harakim »

h_p wrote: September 30th, 2017, 11:12 pm
David13 wrote: September 30th, 2017, 8:17 pm Since "racist" is today an empty politically motivated epithet, it hardly bothers me for you to, in your misguided understanding of the term, call me such. So your attempt to bully me into accepting your erroneous understanding fails.
Yes we are free to hold our beliefs, without regard to your name calling.

But, answer the question: Did you marry outside your race and culture? Or, do you practice what you preach.
dc
I've already defined what I consider racist in a previous post to this thread, and I didn't call you a racist; I called Elizabeth one. Try to keep up. You seem to have a hard time with reading comprehension, so I don't know what good it'll do to respond to your question, but I'll happily answer: yes, I did marry outside my race. And somewhat outside my culture. We're going on 25 years now, and our relationship is stronger than it has ever been.

I'll say it again in case you're already confused: I don't think there's anything wrong with people preferring their own race, or preferring any other race. But you ("you" in general, not "you" in particular, in case you think I'm bullying again) cross a line when you call people who do a race traitor, or require someone to marry within their race.

If humans were dogs, we'd all practically be the same breed. People who are racist make way too big a deal of someone's skin color.
I agree all races are the same.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gUW1JikaxQ
Probably a coincidence

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harakim
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by harakim »

Silver wrote: October 5th, 2017, 8:43 am
Spaced_Out wrote: October 5th, 2017, 4:45 am
RAB wrote: October 4th, 2017, 2:58 pm These race related issues were issues I had to confront when I dated my wife. While I am Caucasian, my wife is Japanese-American, but culturally anglo-american...as in, speaks only a few Japanese words for food that she learned from her parents and grandparents (Great-grandparents were the ones who came from Japan). Her dad and brother spoke Japanese, only because they served missions to Japan....
To me as I posted before race is not skin colour or looks but culture and preferences. Some people after 3 to 4 generations in a country fully embrace the culture, customs and way of life, lifestyle and outlook on life, but many don't and it makes for difficulties in marriage and rearing children. I have also seen much problems due to grandparents on either side sabotaging things. In some cultures the spouse still follow and or are dominated by the parents even after marriage. These kinds of customs can tear things apart, many don't see it till it is too late.

Yes with today's technology and breakdown in families - strong family traditions and cultures are not so prevalent in western society but it is not the same with other cultures.
The original poster of this thread has made lots of references about not being accepted by her own family due to religion. If one marries a person like that they have to choose between you and their family, basically break ties with their family that is something that has to be sorted out prior to marriage.
I had a friend is a similar situation and when things got heated while still courting he would purposefully set things up to force his 'partner' to choose one ore the other. When she back the parents out of tradition despite it being not the right thing to do it was bye bye. Both of them were from western culture and same upbringing, schools but great grandparents were from two originally different European languages/countries.

Having attraction to persons of markedly different genetics is a bit wired, I always found the Book of Mormon comment on that kind thing interesting. You guys have lots of racist things to say about Elizabeth but the BoM is actually very racist. The people of Ammon. lamanite converts were not forced to mix with Nephites but were given their own lands to live as a separate people. Today it is forced integration like the Muslim refugees that are flooding Europe, and it is not working.

I grew up in South Africa under the apartheid system where there were different facilities for blacks and whites, white only toilets, beaches schools etc.. In the scriptures there are 12 tribes of Israel and in Zion the new Jerusalem temple will have 12 gates one for each tribe to go through - I always have a good laugh when I read that. Even in heaven there is still tribalism.
When I took my children few years back to get their patriarchal blessing the patriarch and I had a good discussion on tribes etc.. He said the time he gave a blessing and gave the person a different tribe than the parents - the wife was jumping up and shouting NO NO NO and putting up a big fuss during the blessing that the husband had to literally pick her up and carry her out the room so he could finish the blessing - and he still has the tape with all the commotion recorded.

2Nephi5:21 'that they might not be enticing'!! we will have to ban the BoM from this forum as well.
This is so messed up.
Then I don't even know what you'd think of this!
http://www.mormonthink.com/QUOTES/black ... rriage.htm

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harakim
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by harakim »

I think that family history is so important partly because you get to look back at your family and see what makes your lineage special. Your customs, your holidays, your manner of dress. What you're good at and what you like. You want to live in such a way your ancestors would be proud of you. I don't have any more disappointment for the white person marrying the black person than the other way around. The world is slowly becoming homogenized into the one true culture.
When I travel, it bugs me that every city is the same. Every city around the world is full of people trying to be like the idealized person. Egyptian kids want to have iPhones. Indian kids want to listen to Eninem (actually, in my experience, all kids want to listen to Eminem specifically). Japanese and Korean girls have their eyelids surgically altered and dye their hair blonde. And I don't actually have a problem with any of those things. I have a problem with the fact that people are unhappy with who they are. They are unhappy with the ancestry that they have. They let someone else decide what they should be good at.
When I hear someone is a white nationalist, I don't automatically think racist. I think they understand the points above and are proud of their heritage. I am sure there are some who are racist, but I don't jump to negative conclusions about them without knowing.

As to the original topic, I hope you find your way and a husband if that's what will make you happy and I think most of the advice you have been given in the first three or four pages of this thread is excellent!

Fiannan
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Fiannan »

The ultimate aim of the power-elite is to destroy all differences in people be they racial, religious, ethnic or nationalistic. The goal is a mass of conformists who have no ties to the past and live for the present. Such a people will be easy to control and eventually exterminate (not violently, more self-inflicted phase out).

Spaced_Out
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Spaced_Out »

Yip, I am not the only one that has noticed that marriage is down due to male earning potential..

Millennials Are Delaying Marriage Because Men Aren't Earning Enough
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2017-10-1 ... ing-enough
Economists and social scientists have gathered multitudes of data about Millennials’ tendency to delay the traditional milestones of maturity (starting a career, getting married, buying a home, having kids) in favor of a prolonged adolescence.

But in a new study examining household formation patterns in the US, Pew Research Center has isolated the biggest factor behind the rise in those households without a partner or spouse: “The declining ability of men to earn a salary large enough to sustain a family.”
That’s right. As wages for female workers have risen in recent years, wages for their male peers have stagnated. This in turn has weighed on the household formation rate, because men are more reluctant to marry and start families unless they’re earning above a threshold, which Pew identified as $40,000, the Hill reported.......

The higher number of spouseless households comes as the marriage rate declines precipitously. Just half of American adults are married, down from 72% in 1960......

The average American woman gets married just after her 27th birthday, while the average man waits until he is 29.5 years old to marry — significantly higher than the median ages half a century ago.

Lower household formation can ultimately drag on population growth as couples delay having children, and more couples forgo parenting altogether. Given Japan's decades long struggle with stagflation, and its looming demographic crunch, maybe the Federal Reserve could kill two birds with one stone and start handing out helicopter money to men.

gardener4life
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by gardener4life »

I often wonder how marriage gets solved after this life?

it doesn't make sense that we'd be alone. But this world very clearly only gives opportunities for marriage with those that have economic success because of how our country is fragmenting and in chaos. (I'm aware there are non U.S. people here yes...) Even people with economic success in the U.S. don't always find spouses. There seems to be a lot of people that aren't seeking to have a family in this life too.

So I wonder how that will get worked out for people who didn't have a chance in this life, after this life.

Spaced_Out
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by Spaced_Out »

gardener4life wrote: October 13th, 2017, 6:24 pm I often wonder how marriage gets solved after this life?

it doesn't make sense that we'd be alone. But this world very clearly only gives opportunities for marriage with those that have economic success because of how our country is fragmenting and in chaos. (I'm aware there are non U.S. people here yes...) Even people with economic success in the U.S. don't always find spouses. There seems to be a lot of people that aren't seeking to have a family in this life too.

So I wonder how that will get worked out for people who didn't have a chance in this life, after this life.
That is why we have the millennium, Simple maths indicates that the vast majority of people inheriting the celestial kingdom will be those that died prior to the age of accountability. Infant mortality throughout the ages has been very high, only very recently with modern medicine and more food available that things have improved. I did some research on this in all countries that keep birth records that I could find more males are born than females. There are no shortages of ether genders in the celestial kingdom. 1,000y of peace on the earth is plenty of time to sort this problem out.

gardener4life
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Re: Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

Post by gardener4life »

Mark wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:44 am
Fiannan wrote: October 4th, 2017, 8:11 am
... I would think you were consumed with the need to talk about this stuff because you had a bad relationship with a women and want to take shots at them. How's that for a psyche evaluation? You seem fixated on women's sexual needs. Unfortunately you seem to use Kinseyian Babylonian like crap in your observations. Why the fixation? Am I right or am I right?
Kinsey was not into psychology or Freud; he was a biologist who had major problems with sampling bias.

As for your interesting hypothesis I have to say the opposite. I am not taking shots at women in general...I merely don't put them on any sort of imaginary pedestal. And since I have no illusions about them being the "fairer sex" or some such bunk I have not had a problem in interacting with women.

Oh, and you might note that when women are the center of a religion, as in pre-Abrahamic Middle Eastern societies, and probably during the era of Noah,and even neo-Paganism today, the religion tends to be way more sexual than male-centered religions. What does that tell you?

It tells me that Mrs. Fiannan must be a VERY patient little women if there still is a Mrs. Fiannan. :cry:
Pre-Israel did have some wicked sh-stuff going on. So did the antediluvian cultures. I think probably the Jaredites did too and probably had a lot of similarities to some antediluvian cultures because of some things. Did you notice that the Book of Ether there is no mention anywhere of priesthood ordinations? I found that odd and had noticed it several times. There is mention of prophets but not ordinations...well its kind of short so we wish we knew more about them. I think our day is most similar to some of the stuff in the Book of Ether and 3 Nephi so i couldn't help but mention them.

Ether 1:And there came also in the days of Com many prophets, and prophesied of the destruction of that great people except they should repent, and turn unto the Lord, and forsake their murders and wickedness.
Ether 7: 23 And also in the reign of Shule there came prophets among the people, who were sent from the Lord, prophesying that the wickedness and idolatry of the people was bringing a curse upon the land, and they should be destroyed if they did not repent. (Idolatry usually referred to pagain images and sex mixed together.)
Ether 9:28 And there came prophets in the land again, crying repentance unto them—that they must prepare the way of the Lord or there should come a curse upon the face of the land; yea, even there should be a great famine, in which they should be destroyed if they did not repent.
Ether 8:25 ...mention of murdering and stoning the prophets since the beginning...

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