Marriage - don't know how to find spouse

[Silver]

No, that is not even a consideration, she has all the financial resources she will ever need.
No Negro or Asian ancestry is a must.

I find this remark troubling in the extreme. I would hope that personal traits such as loyalty, kindness, and faith would play a more important role than ethnicity. Particularly give that every living person on the planet has some African background.

Under this condition a worthy Asian young man, is disqualified even if his family had lived in Australia for many generations such a the Japanese community in Brome has (150+ Years). Also what would be your response if your daughter came home with a young man who was aboriginal Australian?

I was going to suggest that perhaps I should introduce my son to your daughter but given the remarks above I must reconsider should she share her mother’s views.

You're right, of course. The sort of bigotry Elizabeth exhibits has no place in the Church or on this forum. I don't know why she hasn't been banned already.

Regarding the highlighted portion of your post, you realize of course that by you reconsidering you have automatically disqualified your posterity of any chance of marrying into the royal bloodline of Elizabeth, the racist. Consider yourself lucky.

[Silver]

No, that is not even a consideration, she has all the financial resources she will ever need.
No Negro or Asian ancestry is a must.

Minimum acceptable characteristics include:

The use of two commas to specify annual income.

Racism is OK on LDSFF now?

Preferences are not racism. Taste is not racism.
dc

Rejection based on race is racism.

[David13]

No, that is not even a consideration, she has all the financial resources she will ever need.
No Negro or Asian ancestry is a must.

Minimum acceptable characteristics include:

The use of two commas to specify annual income.

Racism is OK on LDSFF now?

What triggered that accusation Silver?

His total lack of knowledge as to what racism is and what racism is not, that's what.
dc

[David13]

No, that is not even a consideration, she has all the financial resources she will ever need.
No Negro or Asian ancestry is a must.

Racism is OK on LDSFF now?

Preferences are not racism. Taste is not racism.
dc

Rejection based on race is racism.

No it isn't.

If I were to say I must marry a woman, you would accuse me of ... 'sexism'. You just overdo what you are doing.
dc

[gkearney]

No, that is not even a consideration, she has all the financial resources she will ever need.
No Negro or Asian ancestry is a must.

Minimum acceptable characteristics include:

The use of two commas to specify annual income. 8-)

Racism is OK on LDSFF now?

Preferences are not racism. Taste is not racism.
dc

This is not preference or taste. This is the disqualification of any, regardless of all other qualities based upon race alone. This is the very definition of racism.

[David13]

This is not a unique problem. My beautiful, tall, slim, fit, healthy, abundantly financially secure daughter has given up on finding an LDS husband to her liking.

In the ward I am in there is like 8 female active YSA one partially active male. My two YSA daughters have never been on any date or had any male friend in the church, the youngest one is now finishing her degree this year. They long ago gave up looking for any male partners/friends/dates etc just move on with their lives. The Bishop now has the missionaries teaching the YSA Sunday school class and they don't even attend the investigators class, but most of the YSA are placed into primary and there is no functioning YSA group.

I had a friend who went through a divorce. He was extremely devout but innactive. He was in his 30s and moved to Utah. He was generally going on dates with females 19 - 25, some return missionaries and he only dated stunning women. He said he averaged 6 dates a week and no, he just had a low-paying working-class job. And this was over a decade ago.

A message to LDS women: Unless your guy is into gay porn just ignore it. Unless your guy drinks hard alcohol and smokes ignore the coffee and energy drinks. Unless your guy refuses to work or refuses to have children then adapt. You are luckier than you can imagine. Ingratitude is one of the worse sins there is.

Setting standards for the person you marry is essential to assure a good marriage but what the standards are is what will make the difference. For example, requiring that your future spouse be respectful is absolutely necessary, I believe, if you intend to build a happy marriage that will last. I also believe it's okay to have other requirements, like being physically fit or excelling in romance. You are trying to find someone who you personally can live happily with.

The key is, whatever standards you set for your spouse, you need to be working on achieving yourself. You shouldn't be expecting a person to bring something into your life that you yourself aren't working for. But if you are hoping for someone to add to what you already have, then you are more likely to find the right person.

This, along with your post I think on the first page, with regard to the 100% idea for marriage is most important. And I think it's all something a lot of people posting on this thread are missing.
Thanks for your insight. I hope others take the time to understand it.
dc

[David13]

No, that is not even a consideration, she has all the financial resources she will ever need.
No Negro or Asian ancestry is a must.

Racism is OK on LDSFF now?

Preferences are not racism. Taste is not racism.
dc

This is not preference or taste. This is the disqualification of any, regardless of all other qualities based upon race alone. This is the very definition of racism.

No it isn't gk.
What you are implying is that if I say I would not marry a man, then I can be called any of the various names, like sexist, homo hater, etc. When it's merely a normal human preference or taste, a "born that way" orientation, if you are one of the "born that way" persuasion.
dc

I suppose to go a bit further, if I were to acknowledge that I would only marry an active LDS woman, with a testimony, then you would be able to use one of the politically correct concocted slurs or aspersions, like ... "You're a Religious Bigot".

[Silver]

Racism is OK on LDSFF now?

Preferences are not racism. Taste is not racism.
dc

Rejection based on race is racism.

No it isn't.

If I were to say I must marry a woman, you would accuse me of ... 'sexism'. You just overdo what you are doing.
dc

Nope, this is different.

[Fiannan]

Rejection based on race is racism.

Maybe rejection based on sex is sexism then? What if there is a wonderful woman who would date her daughter? Also, there is a movement underway to label anyone who refuses to date a transgender a bigot you know. How about that Silver?

Oh, just saw your comment above. How is it not sexism and CIS-inspired heteronormative bigotry to make that distinction?

[Fiannan]

This is not preference or taste. This is the disqualification of any, regardless of all other qualities based upon race alone. This is the very definition of racism.

"

"The difficulties and hazards of marriage are greatly increased when backgrounds are different."

Spencer W. Kimball

[Juliet]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

Trust your higher soul path. Who to marry depends on another individual. Remember your soul is older than your body. You may or may not have agreed to meet up with the right person at a specific time and for specific reasons you have may have chosen a delayed approach in the spirit world as you wait for your beloved to become worthy of you. Of course this is hypothetical. Just know there are spiritual reasons for things. If you are on your soul path then never worry. He will be there at the right time and place as long as you don't worry so much that you block yourself from receiving that for which you yearn.

[NewgirlME]

Hi everyone,

Not sure if this topic fits here, apologize in such case.


As the topic indicates, I'm worried of not being able to find any spouse. I've tried but I don't know so many people(I'm a convert from Islam, or at least my family is Muslim). Do you know any prayers to soothe my anxieties or anything that might help?

I'm 33 years soon and I really am concerned.


Thanks for reading this.

Trust your higher soul path. Who to marry depends on another individual. Remember your soul is older than your body. You may or may not have agreed to meet up with the right person at a specific time and for specific reasons you have may have chosen a delayed approach in the spirit world as you wait for your beloved to become worthy of you. Of course this is hypothetical. Just know there are spiritual reasons for things. If you are on your soul path then never worry. He will be there at the right time and place as long as you don't worry so much that you block yourself from receiving that for which you yearn.

Thanks, this helped. Essentially, I have to trust God's timing.

[h_p]

Preferences are not racism. Taste is not racism.
dc

Elizabeth has plainly stated on this forum before that she believes whites are a superior race. It's one thing to prefer a given race, and even your own race, I don't care. But what she believes is racist. And to require that someone marry within their own race is also racist, which is what she stated above. I'll give her a chance to clarify, but I doubt she'll correct what she said.

[Spaced_Out]

No, that is not even a consideration, she has all the financial resources she will ever need.
No Negro or Asian ancestry is a must.

Racism is OK on LDSFF now?

Preferences are not racism. Taste is not racism.
dc

This is not preference or taste. This is the disqualification of any, regardless of all other qualities based upon race alone. This is the very definition of racism.

What defines a race? This is somewhat relevant to the thread as the person has Muslim background, looking for Christian marriage which makes htings hard.

Skin colour and looks is not race - a race is defined by cultural, background, preferences and attitude. Irrespective of how long a person has been in Australia different races have different preferences and culture. To say the indigenous Australians (Aborigines) have the same preferences and culture as the Anglo Saxon 'invaders' is an insult to all indigenous Australians, they claim a stronger connection to the earth etc.. etc......

If we all looked different and has the same culture there would be no race.

Racism is basically dealing with people differently based on their culture Personally I see nothing wrong with it. If I go to the bank to draw money and there is two auto-tellers both occupied one by a very senior citizen the other a teenager. I stand behind the teenager as it is likely that I will get to do my banking quicker. I am not raciest against little old ladies - in fact standing behind her might put her under pressure and make her feel uncomfortable. Maybe the little old lady is the person who invented the auto-teller and is going to be done before the teenager. But I play the statistics and in most circumstances the teenager will be done first - he is also less likely to have as much banking needs or money to withdraw.

Being sensitive to race means we treat people accordingly. In business management we are taught to teach and negotiate differently with people depending on their personalities and culture. It is being culturally sensitive and respectful to their beliefs. This thing love conquers all and different cultures should mix is very dangerous.

[David13]

Preferences are not racism. Taste is not racism.
dc

Elizabeth has plainly stated on this forum before that she believes whites are a superior race. It's one thing to prefer a given race, and even your own race, I don't care. But what she believes is racist. And to require that someone marry within their own race is also racist, which is what she stated above. I'll give her a chance to clarify, but I doubt she'll correct what she said.

So what you are saying is, because you did not marry a person of a different race than yourself, you are a racist.
That is just total nonsense.
And also I think it very inappropriate that you would attempt to bully Elizabeth.
dc

[h_p]

So what you are saying is, because you did not marry a person of a different race than yourself, you are a racist.
That is just total nonsense.
And also I think it very inappropriate that you would attempt to bully Elizabeth.
dc

That's actually the exact opposite of what I said. And there's no bullying, I asked a simple question. And for what it's worth, you and she are free to believe whatever you want, even if you want to be a racist.

[gkearney]

The issue here I think is that some are excluding groups of persons from possible marriage on race alone, not considering any other conditions. Personally I would rather see a mixed race marriage were the couple share common values, religion and such while respecting the ethnicity of the other partner than one in which they are of the same race but have differing values. I would rather have a couple married in the temple, sharing the same belief system than I would care about their racial backgrounds.

There is a subtext in all of this I would like to approach. It seems to me that society and the membership of the church are more accepting of interracial marriages when the boy is white and the girl is of another race. I wonder why this would be the case? I also wonder if this dynamic is shaping Elizabeth's views in all of this? This is after all her daughter we are speaking of here so any mixed race marriage would involve her marrying a man of a different race. In any event this dynamic which seems to extend well beyond the church is to me an interesting one and worthy of some consideration.

[Elizabeth]

Thankfully, none of my family are race traitors.

[Silver]

Thankfully, none of my family are race traitors.

Another keeper from the Master Racist on LDSFF.

[Spaced_Out]

I work in a mining office in outback Aus. Most of the woman are in long-term relationships/partnerships but not married. One woman a manger of one of the department is single no boyfriend etc.. No man will ever be good enough, and there are none around. Of the three males two of the other are married to Asian imports (Vietnam and Malaysia). The woman from Vietnam can hardly speak any English and phones her husband to talk to the butcher to tell him what meat cuts she wants. The one day when she had taken the bus to a nearby town with some of the other woman from the town he got a phone call from McDonalds to explain what order his wife wants. But the marriage seems to be working and they are both happy and have 2 children now (have been to a social function with them) – he is a bit older than her.

She comes from a very rural area in Vietnam and we call her the chicken whisperer. You must see her slaughter a chicken, cuddles the chicken –takes a sharp knife and just nicks the neck – the chicken does not resist or get flusters as she takes a cup and catches all the blood coming out (can’t waste the blood – it would be an outrage) and the chicken just passes away quietly.

How can one imagine a marriage of a western ‘Anglo Saxon’ woman who is totally financially independent marring a rural guy from Vietnam working? For a start Vietnamese, men like most Asians are very sexist and domineering. (oops that is me being raciest - making generalizations - better get me banned).

[Elizabeth]

Interesting, what does she do with the blood?

[Silver]

Here's my favorite James E. Faust quote ever:

"I have learned to admire, respect, and love the good people from every race, culture, and nation that I have been privileged to visit. In my experience, no race or class seems superior to any other in spirituality and faithfulness. Those who seem less caring spiritually are those individuals—regardless of race, culture, or nationality—spoken of by the Savior in the parable of the sower who are “choked with cares and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to perfection.” (close quote)

So, racists, you can repent now, or repent later of your racist tendencies. However, I assure you that you will eventually repent of them.

[gkearney]

:) Thankfully, none of my family are race traitors.

I can assure you that someplace at some point in your family’s past there are persons of differing races. That is true of every person on this earth. You, me, everyone on LDSFF, everyone. There is not a single person of “pure blood”.

[Spaced_Out]

Interesting, what does she do with the blood?

Blood is salty and has high nutrients, good for salads, and meat dishes. She is actually a good cook and has opened a restaurant in Town that is only open a few evenings a week. The Duck dishes are good.

Vietnam cooking with chicken blood,
https://www.google.com.au/search?q=viet ... 30&bih=734

[Mark]

Thankfully, none of my family are race traitors.

"Anyone who claims superiority under the Father’s plan because of characteristics like race, sex, nationality, language or economic circumstances is morally wrong and does not understand the Lord’s true purpose for all of our Father’s children."

Elder Cook