Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

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brlenox
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by brlenox »

To the forum
Well, I've had way too much fun tonight - How did I miss all this material going on? I had no clue. And just for clarity, I absolutely have no hard feelings against any of the very clear and effusively portrayed condemnations of me as an individual. I long ago accepted the realities that people love a target and when you are as direct and passionate as I am about my perceptions of truth then you expect that some take the truth to be hard and retaliate by wanting to shut it down. No doubt I possess in some degree or another elements of weakness and incapacity as we all do and so there will always be fodder for critical opinions. But those imperfections are the things that we work on in this life until we conquer them. They nonetheless are not my message and my thoughts are generally clear and well supported and communicate on far weightier matters than my imperfections.

If you go back to my earlier material from when I first started on this forum, I have tried to more appropriately present my material, than I did in those days. I had to learn how to interact on a forum.(Ramses, is that laughter I hear?) In large part I did learn some things because some where kind enough and mature enough that instead of hiding they communicated. It is interesting to see how some find me objectionable but with the exception of one it tends to be the called and elected, brethren are fallen, the church is in disarray types. I have to be honest, that doesn't hurt my feelings any. I do see the portrayal of this attitude by those claiming to be LDS strong hypocrisy. For them there is good reason to take such a personal tack towards me. There is a scripture about those who are reviled for certain causes but instead of closing with that let's go with Lex Luther:
You know, I used to think it was our families that made us who we are? Then I hoped it was our friends. But if you look at history, the great men and women of the world have always been defined... by their enemies.
— Lex Luthor, Smallville
Now Enemies is way to strong a word for what I feel towards anyone here as I have never had an enemy in my life. However, I might not be to far off if I said it would seem that I am an enemy to hypocrisy especially where it involves the church, The Savior and the Brethren.

The one who is not of that mentality was kind of a snowflake at first but I felt that he perceived that I considered him an honorable person and he does not tear down the church or its leaders and so I think we reached a tentative point of tolerance.

Anyway, now that all are informed as to the culprit in the craw of some, I invite all to be honest and present their thoughts candidly. I have no intention of tattling to the mods and it troubles me not in the least to hear these things and really I do appreciate genuine and open exchange. I can glean something of value from even the most subjective reviews...and thanks to all who have responded. I hope that folks will continue to air their concerns. Lizzy find that post if you have a moment, If I erred I will address the issue. Good night to all and to all good night.

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Red
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

Seek the Truth wrote: August 25th, 2017, 11:22 pm
Red wrote: August 25th, 2017, 2:44 pm The best thing a person could do for themselves is to think about a situation from someone else's perspective. This is an activity that causes the prideful to itch. It offends the proud, but it is vital for growth. I say this in absolute love and sincerity. I encourage you to look for those who match the characteristics we've described in this thread and ask yourself, with full honesty, are they trolling? Could they have handled this better? If you really can't see it, then ask these questions of yourself, is that person behaving like a child on the verge of a tantrum? That will give you an easy indicator.

I have been practicing the above technique for a few years now and I have solved so many problems by doing that. I have always had a lot of sympathy; im a sensitive soul, but until I started doing the above, I couldn't be kind enough or understanding enough to interact with others without hurting them. It has helped me understand the mercy and grace of God and practice it myself. It is a mercy to yourself and to others to practice that technique. There's not terribly much more of value than the ability to take others perspective into account. It's the love of Christ.

I have accepted that some people can't see what they are doing. I don't know how to help those people other than not entertaining them, as I think Alaris said.
I don't really do guilt trips.
I'm very sorry if that's how you perceived it. It wasn't intended to be a guilt trip. I'm no narcissist, I dont do guilt trips either.

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Red
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

Brlenox,

Yours are in quotes:

"If you recollect which post it was that I responded so harshly I would like to review it."
All of them.

"Since this entire discussion maybe referencing myself, I hopefully can respond to a couple of the observations without accusation of mean...rude...etc... "
It's actually NOT all about you. You were only used as an example in MY response because it was convenient. You're just a good poster child for unwanted behavior. Nothing more.

This, you said to Fin (who is not a sophist or Snufferite):
"However, you may be the only one making these claims that I can honestly say that once or twice maybe three times I have exhibited an intentional dissatisfaction with who you are as a person and been genuinely out of line."
The reason Fin incites these feelings in you is because it rubs at your narcissist core. He has treated you as you must treat a narcissist. When that happens, narcissists have no rebuttal because they realize they can't control the person they're arguing with. For a narcissist, it's all about "me" and control. I'm not telling you this to be unkind. I'm not saying it to start a fight. I'm telling you because if you could consider for a moment that you are a narcissist, then perhaps you can help yourself reform.

You've written entirely too much for me to reply too, and I don't wish to hen peck your responses. Your contentious attitude isn't welcomed here. You've hijacked the thread to prove you've been wronged. I get it. You feel offended that I would use you as an example. It WAS done anonymously. I didn't identify you; you did that yourself.

"Boy the more I read this thread the more I just want to choke who ever it is that you folks are talking about..."
Passive aggressive sarcasm. Once again, it was only I speaking of you.

"Anyway, You should not take anything I say personal."
You can't make a personal attack and expect us not to take it personally. We are only human.

"Red, why you little saint, you've done gone and memorialized me, what a sweet heart."
Patronizing. Creepy. Don't use pet names with women, please. If you're southern, I'll give you a pass.

"I had to learn how to interact on a forum.(Ramses, is that laughter I hear?)"
This is hilarious. Like I actually laughed out loud and heard Nefertiti's voice in my head. Ramses and Nefertiti were narcissists too.

Please, don't respond to anything I post anymore. You really are unpleasant. I only spoke to you off-forum because I was desperate for a little help with suicide. You were decidedly not helpful. Had I not spoken to kathedralegs and Juliet, I would have been blaming myself for how I felt because of what you said to me. I shudder to think of what I would have felt or done after speaking to you had I not had them. They spoke to me and I felt the spirit convey what I needed to hear, and as a result, I was pulled from the depths of my despair. You cannot belittle that, it was from God.

I am sorry that you discovered what I said. Not because I feel guilt for anything I've said, but because I have to slog through your insufferable responses.

You have a hard road, my friend, I don't envy the obstacles you need to overcome before you reach the other side.

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shadow
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by shadow »

h_p wrote: August 25th, 2017, 4:18 pm
Lizzy60 wrote: August 25th, 2017, 4:11 pm All of us LDS believe things with our whole hearts that much of the world can't wrap their minds around, and yet we are so quick to mock and judge each other when we feel someone is believing "too much."
:ymapplause:
Wait, is this silly thread about finrock and others, including yourself, who mock and judge those who follow the prophet and apostles and believe too much?? My how perspectives vary.

Sorry, back to the middle school drama. Carry on my self described overly sensitive types.

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brlenox
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by brlenox »

Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 7:38 am Brlenox,

Yours are in quotes:

"If you recollect which post it was that I responded so harshly I would like to review it."
All of them.

"Since this entire discussion maybe referencing myself, I hopefully can respond to a couple of the observations without accusation of mean...rude...etc... "
It's actually NOT all about you. You were only used as an example in MY response because it was convenient. You're just a good poster child for unwanted behavior. Nothing more.

This, you said to Fin (who is not a sophist or Snufferite):
"However, you may be the only one making these claims that I can honestly say that once or twice maybe three times I have exhibited an intentional dissatisfaction with who you are as a person and been genuinely out of line."
The reason Fin incites these feelings in you is because it rubs at your narcissist core. He has treated you as you must treat a narcissist. When that happens, narcissists have no rebuttal because they realize they can't control the person they're arguing with. For a narcissist, it's all about "me" and control. I'm not telling you this to be unkind. I'm not saying it to start a fight. I'm telling you because if you could consider for a moment that you are a narcissist, then perhaps you can help yourself reform.

You've written entirely too much for me to reply too, and I don't wish to hen peck your responses. Your contentious attitude isn't welcomed here. You've hijacked the thread to prove you've been wronged. I get it. You feel offended that I would use you as an example. It WAS done anonymously. I didn't identify you; you did that yourself.

"Boy the more I read this thread the more I just want to choke who ever it is that you folks are talking about..."
Passive aggressive sarcasm. Once again, it was only I speaking of you.

"Anyway, You should not take anything I say personal."
You can't make a personal attack and expect us not to take it personally. We are only human.

"Red, why you little saint, you've done gone and memorialized me, what a sweet heart."
Patronizing. Creepy. Don't use pet names with women, please. If you're southern, I'll give you a pass.

"I had to learn how to interact on a forum.(Ramses, is that laughter I hear?)"
This is hilarious. Like I actually laughed out loud and heard Nefertiti's voice in my head. Ramses and Nefertiti were narcissists too.

Please, don't respond to anything I post anymore. You really are unpleasant. I only spoke to you off-forum because I was desperate for a little help with suicide. You were decidedly not helpful. Had I not spoken to kathedralegs and Juliet, I would have been blaming myself for how I felt because of what you said to me. I shudder to think of what I would have felt or done after speaking to you had I not had them. They spoke to me and I felt the spirit convey what I needed to hear, and as a result, I was pulled from the depths of my despair. You cannot belittle that, it was from God.

I am sorry that you discovered what I said. Not because I feel guilt for anything I've said, but because I have to slog through your insufferable responses.

You have a hard road, my friend, I don't envy the obstacles you need to overcome before you reach the other side.
Well, good enough. Surely you can understand my mistake since it was me you quoted and have referenced several times....Oh well. By the way,grew up in Kentucky, for the southern pass.
Last edited by brlenox on August 26th, 2017, 9:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

Crackers
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Crackers »

brlenox,

I,for one, appreciate your posts. I generally find them to be well thought out and insightful, and often humerous. Maybe I just get your humor, or understand your intent.

Red,

I can't understand calling someone a narcissist because you don't like him. Do you understand what narcissism is? Do you know anyone with this disorder (and I don't mean diagnosed by you)? This term is routinely pronounced on people who are perceived as selfish or egotistic, but it is an inaccurate and hyperbolic expression for such. It's typically just name-calling, which you are condemning on this thread.

Also,

By telling someone he shouldn't use a "pet name" because you are a woman, you are placing youself in a "victim" status. ("Women are victims because we get called by pet names.") This creates an atmosphere of oversensitivity, and can make it difficult for people to express themselves. Using a crutch such victim status can put you in a state where you are always ready to be offended. I usually find that a little humor goes a long way in diffusing a discussion that is escalating. This can be more effective than calling foul, saying that someone is playing mean, as it can quickly get things back on track. Then the actual topic can be discussed instead of always talking about HOW we talk about the topic.

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shadow
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by shadow »

Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 7:38 am

I am sorry that you discovered what I said. Not because I feel guilt for anything I've said, but because I have to slog through your insufferable responses.

You have a hard road, my friend, I don't envy the obstacles you need to overcome before you reach the other side.
Careful, that almost sounds like something a narcissist would say :-?
See, you've placed yourself high above Brlenox. You look down on him. You do what you accuse him of doing.


Brlenox is almost always right. I for one appreciate him and his well thought-out posts. I hope he keeps it up despite the snowflakes.

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Red
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

Crackers wrote: August 26th, 2017, 8:39 am brlenox,

I,for one, appreciate your posts. I generally find them to be well thought out and insightful, and often humerous. Maybe I just get your humor, or understand your intent.

Red,

I can't understand calling someone a narcissist because you don't like him. Do you understand what narcissism is? Do you know anyone with this disorder (and I don't mean diagnosed by you)? This term is routinely pronounced on people who are perceived as selfish or egotistic, but it is an inaccurate and hyperbolic expression for such. It's typically just name-calling, which you are condemning on this thread.

Also,

By telling someone he shouldn't use a "pet name" because you are a woman, you are placing youself in a "victim" status. ("Women are victims because we get called by pet names.") This creates an atmosphere of oversensitivity, and can make it difficult for people to express themselves. Using a crutch such victim status can put you in a state where you are always ready to be offended. I usually find that a little humor goes a long way in diffusing a discussion that is escalating. This can be more effective than calling foul, saying that someone is playing mean, as it can quickly get things back on track. Then the actual topic can be discussed instead of always talking about HOW we talk about the topic.
Married to a narcissist. Thanks.

PS, it's not name calling. Narcissism is a personality disorder. It's diagnosable. One one would be called a narcissist if one has narcissism. Perhaps I've overstepped by diagnosing him, seeing as how I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I just recognize narcissism since I live with one.
Last edited by Red on August 26th, 2017, 9:22 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Red
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

shadow wrote: August 26th, 2017, 9:04 am
Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 7:38 am

I am sorry that you discovered what I said. Not because I feel guilt for anything I've said, but because I have to slog through your insufferable responses.

You have a hard road, my friend, I don't envy the obstacles you need to overcome before you reach the other side.
Careful, that almost sounds like something a narcissist would say :-?
See, you've placed yourself high above Brlenox. You look down on him. You do what you accuse him of doing.


Brlenox is almost always right. I for one appreciate him and his well thought-out posts. I hope he keeps it up despite the snowflakes.
You're overassuming. Unfortunately, theres no tone in the written word.
Last edited by Red on August 26th, 2017, 9:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Red
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

I heard a psychologist say the other day, and it really stuck with me, anyone who has worried if they're a narcissist, generally isn't one. Only narcissists don't consider the possibility.

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AI2.0
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by AI2.0 »

Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 7:38 am Brlenox,

Yours are in quotes:

"If you recollect which post it was that I responded so harshly I would like to review it."
All of them.

"Since this entire discussion maybe referencing myself, I hopefully can respond to a couple of the observations without accusation of mean...rude...etc... "
It's actually NOT all about you. You were only used as an example in MY response because it was convenient. You're just a good poster child for unwanted behavior. Nothing more.

This, you said to Fin (who is not a sophist or Snufferite):
"However, you may be the only one making these claims that I can honestly say that once or twice maybe three times I have exhibited an intentional dissatisfaction with who you are as a person and been genuinely out of line."
The reason Fin incites these feelings in you is because it rubs at your narcissist core. He has treated you as you must treat a narcissist. When that happens, narcissists have no rebuttal because they realize they can't control the person they're arguing with. For a narcissist, it's all about "me" and control. I'm not telling you this to be unkind. I'm not saying it to start a fight. I'm telling you because if you could consider for a moment that you are a narcissist, then perhaps you can help yourself reform.

You've written entirely too much for me to reply too, and I don't wish to hen peck your responses. Your contentious attitude isn't welcomed here. You've hijacked the thread to prove you've been wronged. I get it. You feel offended that I would use you as an example. It WAS done anonymously. I didn't identify you; you did that yourself.

"Boy the more I read this thread the more I just want to choke who ever it is that you folks are talking about..."
Passive aggressive sarcasm. Once again, it was only I speaking of you.

"Anyway, You should not take anything I say personal."
You can't make a personal attack and expect us not to take it personally. We are only human.

"Red, why you little saint, you've done gone and memorialized me, what a sweet heart."
Patronizing. Creepy. Don't use pet names with women, please. If you're southern, I'll give you a pass.

"I had to learn how to interact on a forum.(Ramses, is that laughter I hear?)"
This is hilarious. Like I actually laughed out loud and heard Nefertiti's voice in my head. Ramses and Nefertiti were narcissists too.

Please, don't respond to anything I post anymore. You really are unpleasant. I only spoke to you off-forum because I was desperate for a little help with suicide. You were decidedly not helpful. Had I not spoken to kathedralegs and Juliet, I would have been blaming myself for how I felt because of what you said to me. I shudder to think of what I would have felt or done after speaking to you had I not had them. They spoke to me and I felt the spirit convey what I needed to hear, and as a result, I was pulled from the depths of my despair. You cannot belittle that, it was from God.

I am sorry that you discovered what I said. Not because I feel guilt for anything I've said, but because I have to slog through your insufferable responses.

You have a hard road, my friend, I don't envy the obstacles you need to overcome before you reach the other side.
Red, I was truly bowled over to find that Brlenox is the poster you all are complaining about. Seriously, Brlenox?????????

You are right about one thing, he has his enemies--there's one entity on this forum who hates him with the fire and passion of a thousand burning suns--SATAN. I can't count the times I was struggling to argue against the 'sophistries' and falsehoods, the attacks on the church and our leaders, subtle digs and jabs-- when Brlenox rode in saved me. To me, he is the 'Cavalry'.

Guys, can't you see, this is a clash of egos? Brlenox is not perfect, he has an ego, a big one--but so does Alaris and that can cause problems when two strong egos find themselves interacting. But, if you have a strong intellect and the power of words, you are going to excel when it comes to communication on a message forum, you'll make friends, admirers but enemies too.

Also, it's the problem of what I deem 'orthodoxy' and 'non-orthodoxy'. Brlenox is straight down the line orthodoxy (as far as I've seen) and rock hard loyal to the Lord's church, no wavering. I admire that. Alaris, from what I've seen, has some fringe ideas--things that are not orthodox and would get him a smackdown if he shared them in church--and so, he gets pushback from those on this forum who are more aligned with LDS doctrine and teachings.

Red, you may fall into the group who just want everyone to get along, but frankly, that's not the point of a message forum. The times I've interacted on message forums which were too homogenous, no differing opinions-- I got bored. You need others to stimulate conversation and to help you either solidify and strengthen your ideas by forcing you to defend them--or they help you see that you are wrong so you can modify and grow in your thoughts and perceptions.

And fyi, Finrock, bless his heart, deserves the comment that his uses sophistry, he does. I don't know if he does it intentionally, but he definitely uses fallacious arguments--I've gone the rounds with him so I know. He's not a Snufferite, but he does sympathize with some of their views, there's no question about this, because I read his posts and I know how he thinks. And while he may try to hide it, Finrock has a strong ego as well and he likes to be right. If he can't find disagreement, he'll create a strawman, claim you were advocating it, so that he can argue against you. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm simply giving my own observation to offer you another thing to consider. I truly don't want to argue with Finrock and so I try to stay out of his way, as he has as much right to be on this forum and share his ideas as I do and if there's no use in discussing, best to not do so.

Red, reading your comments, I'm sorry that you've so misunderstood Brlenox and been offended by his writing style and interactions with you. I'm sorry that you can't appreciate his intellect and talents and cut him a little slack for his weaknesses.

The truth is, if we truly want to get along, we hold the key within ourselves--you can't change others but you can change yourself.

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brlenox
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by brlenox »

shadow wrote: August 26th, 2017, 9:04 am
Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 7:38 am

I am sorry that you discovered what I said. Not because I feel guilt for anything I've said, but because I have to slog through your insufferable responses.

You have a hard road, my friend, I don't envy the obstacles you need to overcome before you reach the other side.
Careful, that almost sounds like something a narcissist would say :-?
See, you've placed yourself high above Brlenox. You look down on him. You do what you accuse him of doing.


Brlenox is almost always right. I for one appreciate him and his well thought-out posts. I hope he keeps it up despite the snowflakes.
This is high praise and I appreciate it. I just feel the need to make the distinction that the only reason I am ever right is simply because I make every effort to have no opinion but that which is predicted upon the words of scripture and the apostles and prophets. If people only understood the magnificent example that we have to learn by from the example the servants of God ancient and living, so much personal suffering and otherwise would be eliminated.

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AI2.0
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by AI2.0 »

Crackers wrote: August 26th, 2017, 8:39 am brlenox,

I,for one, appreciate your posts. I generally find them to be well thought out and insightful, and often humerous. Maybe I just get your humor, or understand your intent.

Red,

I can't understand calling someone a narcissist because you don't like him. Do you understand what narcissism is? Do you know anyone with this disorder (and I don't mean diagnosed by you)? This term is routinely pronounced on people who are perceived as selfish or egotistic, but it is an inaccurate and hyperbolic expression for such. It's typically just name-calling, which you are condemning on this thread.

Also,

By telling someone he shouldn't use a "pet name" because you are a woman, you are placing youself in a "victim" status. ("Women are victims because we get called by pet names.") This creates an atmosphere of oversensitivity, and can make it difficult for people to express themselves. Using a crutch such victim status can put you in a state where you are always ready to be offended. I usually find that a little humor goes a long way in diffusing a discussion that is escalating. This can be more effective than calling foul, saying that someone is playing mean, as it can quickly get things back on track. Then the actual topic can be discussed instead of always talking about HOW we talk about the topic.

Very insightful comments, thanks. I also think that sometimes we use pet names, and kidding remarks to lighten the moods, soften the blow, so to speak. Sometimes this backfires, as in the case of Red, who saw it as demeaning and disrespectful. I believe she did so, because her perception of Brlenox has been negative so she takes it as such and does not read humour or attempting to lighten the tone, unfortunately. And you are spot on about the term 'Narcissist', it is over used and is most often not accurate, but simply name calling.

I really have to say once again, I was so surprised to find that this thread was about Brlenox--I even was reading through threads trying to figure out who had gotten up in Alaris' face bad enough that Red started this thread and did not see it. Huh. I think it's sometimes hard to read people when all you have is words and a couple of emoticons--which I don't think Brlenox uses...maybe that's the problem. Maybe an old dog needs to learn a new trick and Brlenox needs to learn to use emoticons freely and liberally. ;)

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AI2.0
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by AI2.0 »

Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 9:17 am
Crackers wrote: August 26th, 2017, 8:39 am brlenox,

I,for one, appreciate your posts. I generally find them to be well thought out and insightful, and often humerous. Maybe I just get your humor, or understand your intent.

Red,

I can't understand calling someone a narcissist because you don't like him. Do you understand what narcissism is? Do you know anyone with this disorder (and I don't mean diagnosed by you)? This term is routinely pronounced on people who are perceived as selfish or egotistic, but it is an inaccurate and hyperbolic expression for such. It's typically just name-calling, which you are condemning on this thread.

Also,

By telling someone he shouldn't use a "pet name" because you are a woman, you are placing youself in a "victim" status. ("Women are victims because we get called by pet names.") This creates an atmosphere of oversensitivity, and can make it difficult for people to express themselves. Using a crutch such victim status can put you in a state where you are always ready to be offended. I usually find that a little humor goes a long way in diffusing a discussion that is escalating. This can be more effective than calling foul, saying that someone is playing mean, as it can quickly get things back on track. Then the actual topic can be discussed instead of always talking about HOW we talk about the topic.
Married to a narcissist. Thanks.

PS, it's not name calling. Narcissism is a personality disorder. It's diagnosable. One one would be called a narcissist if one has narcissism. Perhaps I've overstepped by diagnosing him, seeing as how I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I just recognize narcissism since I live with one.
I'm so sorry. I had the unfortunate experience of dating a Narcissist, but thankfully I didn't marry one. That's not to say, my husband doesn't have the normal male foible of being self centered and needing to overcome this trait. I never had any sons, but I did have brothers and this seems to be a common trait in males.

I think it can be name calling when we use these names in a derogatory fashion, not because we really think the person has an actual personality disorder, but in order to call attention to how we view someone else.

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Red
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

AI2.0 wrote: August 26th, 2017, 9:58 am
Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 9:17 am
Crackers wrote: August 26th, 2017, 8:39 am brlenox,

I,for one, appreciate your posts. I generally find them to be well thought out and insightful, and often humerous. Maybe I just get your humor, or understand your intent.

Red,

I can't understand calling someone a narcissist because you don't like him. Do you understand what narcissism is? Do you know anyone with this disorder (and I don't mean diagnosed by you)? This term is routinely pronounced on people who are perceived as selfish or egotistic, but it is an inaccurate and hyperbolic expression for such. It's typically just name-calling, which you are condemning on this thread.

Also,

By telling someone he shouldn't use a "pet name" because you are a woman, you are placing youself in a "victim" status. ("Women are victims because we get called by pet names.") This creates an atmosphere of oversensitivity, and can make it difficult for people to express themselves. Using a crutch such victim status can put you in a state where you are always ready to be offended. I usually find that a little humor goes a long way in diffusing a discussion that is escalating. This can be more effective than calling foul, saying that someone is playing mean, as it can quickly get things back on track. Then the actual topic can be discussed instead of always talking about HOW we talk about the topic.
Married to a narcissist. Thanks.

PS, it's not name calling. Narcissism is a personality disorder. It's diagnosable. One one would be called a narcissist if one has narcissism. Perhaps I've overstepped by diagnosing him, seeing as how I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I just recognize narcissism since I live with one.
I'm so sorry. I had the unfortunate experience of dating a Narcissist, but thankfully I didn't marry one. That's not to say, my husband doesn't have the normal male foible of being self centered and needing to overcome this trait. I never had any sons, but I did have brothers and this seems to be a common trait in males.

I think it can be name calling when we use these names in a derogatory fashion, not because we really think the person has an actual personality disorder, but in order to call attention to how we view someone else.


I wasn't being deragotory. I was being serious. I feel strongly that he is a narcissist.

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shadow
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by shadow »

Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 9:19 am

You're overassuming.
You're a good teacher.

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Red
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

shadow wrote: August 26th, 2017, 10:05 am
Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 9:19 am

You're overassuming.
You're a good teacher.
I'm honestly not sure how I'm supposed to take that. I've been hammered so hard on this forum that I can't be certain if that's sarcasm or not. I didn't feel like I was teaching anything so I'm inclined to think it's sarcasm? Help me out here.

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Mark
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Mark »

brlenox wrote: August 26th, 2017, 9:47 am
shadow wrote: August 26th, 2017, 9:04 am
Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 7:38 am

I am sorry that you discovered what I said. Not because I feel guilt for anything I've said, but because I have to slog through your insufferable responses.

You have a hard road, my friend, I don't envy the obstacles you need to overcome before you reach the other side.
Careful, that almost sounds like something a narcissist would say :-?
See, you've placed yourself high above Brlenox. You look down on him. You do what you accuse him of doing.


Brlenox is almost always right. I for one appreciate him and his well thought-out posts. I hope he keeps it up despite the snowflakes.
This is high praise and I appreciate it. I just feel the need to make the distinction that the only reason I am ever right is simply because I make every effort to have no opinion but that which is predicted upon the words of scripture and the apostles and prophets. If people only understood the magnificent example that we have to learn by from the example the servants of God ancient and living, so much personal suffering and otherwise would be eliminated.
But Br don't you know that these men you call "servants of God" are no better than anyone else but are just imperfect humans and they make mistakes and they are not infallible and you shouldn't rely on their arms of flesh and the current ones don't really have any prophesies to show us and none have said their calling and election has been made sure yet and (please all you true remnants insert your favorite reason why they aren't really THAT important). Get with the program Peter Priesthood. Isn't there a Snuffer non church remnant conference coming up soon that you can get tickets to? :ymcowboy:

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Red
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

I'll tell you what, I started to thread because I though what Alaris wrote was beautiful. I thought we could all use some more charity. I felt like the forum was becoming rather aggressive, and it wasn't being as productive as it could be. I learned a long time ago there's nothing I could ever say that will change someone's spirit. Only God can do that through Christ and the HG. I was just reminding everyone to be kind. That's all.

So I apologize to Brlenox for using him as an example. I can't apologize for saying he's a narcissist. But I will apologize for supposing that he is one. Maybe he's not. I've been pigeon holed into some idea that most of you have of me. And it isn't true. In real life, most people can feel the spirit when they're near me. They know I'm sincere and I do my best to love and help others. Perhaps I've pegged Brlenox wrong as well. Maybe in real life he doesn't behave like a narcissist. I'm certainly not the idiot Brlenox implies that I am. Maybe we both have each other wrongly identified. If I am right, maybe he will secretly ponder it in his heart. God knows I've reviewed my statements on here and wondered if I am as stupid as Brlenox makes me feel.

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Alaris
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Alaris »

Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 10:23 am I'll tell you what, I started to thread because I though what Alaris wrote was beautiful. I thought we could all use some more charity. I felt like the forum was becoming rather aggressive, and it wasn't being as productive as it could be. I learned a long time ago there's nothing I could ever say that will change someone's spirit. Only God can do that through Christ and the HG. I was just reminding everyone to be kind. That's all.
Brothers and sisters can we at least all agree on this. What Alaris wrote was beautiful ... just kidding. :ymparty: Seriously, though thank you Red. :ymhug:

But seriously folks, who will stand with me in a commitment to one another to elevate our love and respect to one another? I can and will do better myself, and this is my vow.
John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
35 By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another.
I will point out one last time (hopefully) that how we treat each other is indicative of our discipleship. So without charity how can we be the protectors of truth and fight against error? Having charity for one another - is there any more powerful teaching tool? Do we really want this forum to look like just about every other forum in the Internets by the way we treat each other? Treating each other with charity is being right. The irony!
Moroni 7: 39 But behold, my beloved brethren, I judge better things of you, for I judge that ye have faith in Christ because of your meekness; for if ye have not faith in him then ye are not fit to be numbered among the people of his church.
40 And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?
41 And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.
42 Wherefore, if a man have faith he must needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope.
43 And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be meek, and lowly of heart.
44 If so, his faith and hope is vain, for none is acceptable before God, save the meek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and confesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity.
45 And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—
47 But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.
I for one will be happy to commit to all of these principles and improve my "not easily provoked" - now ...WHO's WITH ME!?!

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Arenera
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Arenera »

B o r d e r l i n e F o r u m D i s o r d e r.

Where else can you interpret scripture properly and be sent to hell? The forum.

Where else can Jesus visit and be told to leave? The forum.

Where else does the Storm of Denver threaten to become a Hurricane leading the John Does of life? The forum.

Where else can you be a member and also a tare? The forum.

It is true. B o r d e r l i n e F o r u m D i s o r d e r.

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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Crackers »

One of the beauties of this format is the ability to discuss ideas without preconceived notions about the messenger. One of the pitfalls is the same. We might not understand the messenger's written word as well as we might in more a direct interaction, because we don't really know each other. Let's all take Alaris's self-stated ;) beautiful words to heart.

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shadow
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by shadow »

Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 10:23 am I'll tell you what, I started to thread because I though what Alaris wrote was beautiful. I thought we could all use some more charity. I felt like the forum was becoming rather aggressive, and it wasn't being as productive as it could be. I learned a long time ago there's nothing I could ever say that will change someone's spirit. Only God can do that through Christ and the HG. I was just reminding everyone to be kind. That's all.

So I apologize to Brlenox for using him as an example. I can't apologize for saying he's a narcissist. But I will apologize for supposing that he is one. Maybe he's not. I've been pigeon holed into some idea that most of you have of me. And it isn't true. In real life, most people can feel the spirit when they're near me. They know I'm sincere and I do my best to love and help others. Perhaps I've pegged Brlenox wrong as well. Maybe in real life he doesn't behave like a narcissist. I'm certainly not the idiot Brlenox implies that I am. Maybe we both have each other wrongly identified. If I am right, maybe he will secretly ponder it in his heart. God knows I've reviewed my statements on here and wondered if I am as stupid as Brlenox makes me feel.
So you didn't start the thread to hammer Brlenox because you "feel" he's a meanie and you want him to show more charity? Ok. And you apologize for calling him a narcissist but then make sure you mention that you're not apologizing for saying he's one #-o Honestly, narcissism is the last thing I think of when reading his posts.

The best thing is to do what I do (narcissism alert!) and ignore those you don't want to deal with. Like you mentioned, you can't change anyone. Try some charity yourself and apply a nice thick coat of it over Brlenox, then ignore him if you must.

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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

shadow wrote: August 26th, 2017, 11:18 am
Red wrote: August 26th, 2017, 10:23 am I'll tell you what, I started to thread because I though what Alaris wrote was beautiful. I thought we could all use some more charity. I felt like the forum was becoming rather aggressive, and it wasn't being as productive as it could be. I learned a long time ago there's nothing I could ever say that will change someone's spirit. Only God can do that through Christ and the HG. I was just reminding everyone to be kind. That's all.

So I apologize to Brlenox for using him as an example. I can't apologize for saying he's a narcissist. But I will apologize for supposing that he is one. Maybe he's not. I've been pigeon holed into some idea that most of you have of me. And it isn't true. In real life, most people can feel the spirit when they're near me. They know I'm sincere and I do my best to love and help others. Perhaps I've pegged Brlenox wrong as well. Maybe in real life he doesn't behave like a narcissist. I'm certainly not the idiot Brlenox implies that I am. Maybe we both have each other wrongly identified. If I am right, maybe he will secretly ponder it in his heart. God knows I've reviewed my statements on here and wondered if I am as stupid as Brlenox makes me feel.
So you didn't start the thread to hammer Brlenox because you "feel" he's a meanie and you want him to show more charity? Ok. And you apologize for calling him a narcissist but then make sure you mention that you're not apologizing for saying he's one #-o Honestly, narcissism is the last thing I think of when reading his posts.

The best thing is to do what I do (narcissism alert!) and ignore those you don't want to deal with. Like you mentioned, you can't change anyone. Try some charity yourself and apply a nice thick coat of it over Brlenox, then ignore him if you must.
So.... the teacher comment WAS sarcasm. Was that really necessary?

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Red
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Re: Alaris' Comment - Brotherly Love

Post by Red »

lol, Alaris. I'm with you on your challenge. :)

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