Should my wife go to bishop for porn addiction?

[ajax]

Watch with her.

[forwardtozion]

"So I'm assuming I should report her to the bishop and tell as many people I can."

Tell as many people as you can? Hmm sounds pretty unchristian to me to go around murmuring to others about personal problems and rather childish really. Try acting like an adult when dealing with problems then spreading gossip in your community.


Im not taking sides just pointing out your statement.

I am assuming that he is employing satire to make a point. Some LDS women have done this to their husbands -- finding something in his history and then tattling on them to family and associates. Totally vile thing to do but some people think it is fantastic.

all women do this, and it''s a power play... a power play in that should the day come for divorce, they can bring these people up to testfy.
'yes, her husband has a porn addiction, send him away for 10 years. order 2k a month in child support, even though he will be in prison for the next 10 years. if he doesnt have the money after those 10 years, he cant be released with his sentence being extended another 10 years.'

[gclayjr]

Finrock,

The same pleasure zones in the brain are being activated whether you are lusting while looking at hardcore porn or whether you are lusting looking at a scantily clad woman in a swimsuit or whatever your particular lust might be, be you a man or a woman.

We can look at porn in our minds (through fantasy) and it would have the same effect and consequence physiologically as if we were looking at images on a screen, book, or magazine.

Lust is lust and porn is porn, no matter the medium or mode. The expectation that God places on a married couple is for them to have complete, 100% fidelity to their spouse in every respect be that sexual fidelity or emotional fidelity or any other type of fidelity.

You are making my point! Unlike some evangelicals, we DO believe that there are degrees of sin.

Yes, as it says in the Bible, if you look upon a woman to Lust, then you have committed adultery in your heart. However, a bishop doesn't want to hear about every time a man turned his head as a pretty woman walked by.

Certainly, fantasizing in your mind about women and sex, often comes before the act, and the best way to avoid sexual misconduct is to stop before you fantasize. So don't look or think lustful thoughts. That being said, I would say that if you are "hooked" on pornography, any time you see a cop show on tv , or read a news article on the intent that has teaser links ... to what appears to be provocative news sites. If you walk by a Victoria's Secret store in a mall instead boycotting that mall, then you are "hooked" on pornography, I would say that those statistics that say 90% of men are hooked on pornography are wrong...it is 100% of men.... and women too.

You cannot even begin to solve the pornography problem, if you dilute it by declaring everything to be pornography!

Regards,

George Clay

[forwardtozion]

The way weekly ward councils have turned out, I wouldn't want anyone to report their spouse for watching porn unless they want the whole ward to know. There is a serious gossip and privacy problem going on in the church and it is seriously hindering people's ability to follow the proper repentance process.

someone from church i barely even knew came up asking me about some personal issues i was going through.
the issues werent even that serious, everything was under control.
anyway, this guy approaches me about these issues, and i asked him, how he knew about my situation.
he told me ward council.
i really had no problem others knowing about this, but i guess i was more disturbed that someone took what i thought was in
confidence, and took it to a larger group of people.
i feel a better approach would have been to ask if i needed help, and if so take it ward council.
but in the end, no blood no foul, and i just chalked it up to life experience.. hadnt thought about it until i saw this post.

[Finrock]

Finrock,

The same pleasure zones in the brain are being activated whether you are lusting while looking at hardcore porn or whether you are lusting looking at a scantily clad woman in a swimsuit or whatever your particular lust might be, be you a man or a woman.

We can look at porn in our minds (through fantasy) and it would have the same effect and consequence physiologically as if we were looking at images on a screen, book, or magazine.

Lust is lust and porn is porn, no matter the medium or mode. The expectation that God places on a married couple is for them to have complete, 100% fidelity to their spouse in every respect be that sexual fidelity or emotional fidelity or any other type of fidelity.

You are making my point! Unlike some evangelicals, we DO believe that there are degrees of sin.

Yes, as it says in the Bible, if you look upon a woman to Lust, then you have committed adultery in your heart. However, a bishop doesn't want to hear about every time a man turned his head as a pretty woman walked by.

Certainly, fantasizing in your mind about women and sex, often comes before the act, and the best way to avoid sexual misconduct is to stop before you fantasize. So don't look or think lustful thoughts. That being said, I would say that if you are "hooked" on pornography, any time you see a cop show on tv , or read a news article on the intent that has teaser links ... to what appears to be provocative news sites. If you walk by a Victoria's Secret store in a mall instead boycotting that mall, then you are "hooked" on pornography, I would say that those statistics that say 90% of men are hooked on pornography are wrong...it is 100% of men.... and women too.

You cannot even begin to solve the pornography problem, if you dilute it by declaring everything to be pornography!

Regards,

George Clay

The key here is what a person is doing in their mind or how they are feeling. A person can look at porn but not lust. I know of a person who is in law enforcement and they investigate sex crimes and child sex crimes and they are required to view/look at pornographic material of the most gross kinds. I know this person well and I am confident that this person is not viewing this porn with lust. So, yes, they are technically looking at porn, but not partaking of it with lust and thus there is no sin or issue.

The measure then is how it is affecting the person who is looking or what is going in their minds as they look or partake or whatever it is. The reason why I say "whatever it is" is because what stimulates or causes a person to lust or to be aroused sexually takes many forms and has many faces. There are all sorts of sexual fetishes, many of which never include nudity or intercourse or simulated intercourse of any kind.

Of course I agree with you that pornography can't mean anything or everything, but I am saying that what constitutes pornography is not just limited to looking at hardcore porn and whether there is infidelity comes down to what is going on inside of the individuals mind, how they are feeling, and what it is doing to them physiologically.

-Finrock

[Melissa]

"So I'm assuming I should report her to the bishop and tell as many people I can."

Tell as many people as you can? Hmm sounds pretty unchristian to me to go around murmuring to others about personal problems and rather childish really. Try acting like an adult when dealing with problems then spreading gossip in your community.


Im not taking sides just pointing out your statement.

I am assuming that he is employing satire to make a point. Some LDS women have done this to their husbands -- finding something in his history and then tattling on them to family and associates. Totally vile thing to do but some people think it is fantastic.

all women do this, and it''s a power play... a power play in that should the day come for divorce, they can bring these people up to testfy.
'yes, her husband has a porn addiction, send him away for 10 years. order 2k a month in child support, even though he will be in prison for the next 10 years. if he doesnt have the money after those 10 years, he cant be released with his sentence being extended another 10 years.'

All women? Lol
Get real, your issues are clearly coming through.
LDS women don't marry to divorce, your making women out to be horrible creatures.

[Matchmaker]

Looking at and admiring the physical beauty inherent in a good looking man or woman is not wrong, IMO, but fantasizing about sleeping with them is. It's OK to watch a handsome man, like Capt. Chandler of "The Last Ship" do his masculine Navy thing and admire his character, but if he starts kissing his co-star passionately, and you imagine yourself in her place, change the channel.

[Different]

"So I'm assuming I should report her to the bishop and tell as many people I can."

Tell as many people as you can? Hmm sounds pretty unchristian to me to go around murmuring to others about personal problems and rather childish really. Try acting like an adult when dealing with problems then spreading gossip in your community.


Im not taking sides just pointing out your statement.

I am assuming that he is employing satire to make a point. Some LDS women have done this to their husbands -- finding something in his history and then tattling on them to family and associates. Totally vile thing to do but some people think it is fantastic.

all women do this, and it''s a power play... a power play in that should the day come for divorce, they can bring these people up to testfy.
'yes, her husband has a porn addiction, send him away for 10 years. order 2k a month in child support, even though he will be in prison for the next 10 years. if he doesnt have the money after those 10 years, he cant be released with his sentence being extended another 10 years.'

All women? Lol
Get real, your issues are clearly coming through.
LDS women don't marry to divorce, your making women out to be horrible creatures.

Agreed he sounds bitter about personal issues

[forwardtozion]

nope, not bitter... i live a very good, fruitful life.. my post is a statement on a supposed loving wife going around
spreading stories under the guise of needing support.
i say try to work things out inside the home, through prayer and faith.
if the situation worsens, then take it to the bishop, etc.

going directly to friends, neighbors, every family member, right off the bat wont help the situation at all.
to me, 'confiding' in others outside of your spouse/bishop sounds like setup to call witnesses in a divorce
or custody battle.
90% of the those you confide in, who you feel are upstanding and whatnot are dealing in some underhanded works as well.

thats just a reality of the world we live in today.

I am assuming that he is employing satire to make a point. Some LDS women have done this to their husbands -- finding something in his history and then tattling on them to family and associates. Totally vile thing to do but some people think it is fantastic.

all women do this, and it''s a power play... a power play in that should the day come for divorce, they can bring these people up to testfy.
'yes, her husband has a porn addiction, send him away for 10 years. order 2k a month in child support, even though he will be in prison for the next 10 years. if he doesnt have the money after those 10 years, he cant be released with his sentence being extended another 10 years.'

All women? Lol
Get real, your issues are clearly coming through.
LDS women don't marry to divorce, your making women out to be horrible creatures.

Agreed he sounds bitter about personal issues

[Spider]

The way weekly ward councils have turned out, I wouldn't want anyone to report their spouse for watching porn unless they want the whole ward to know. There is a serious gossip and privacy problem going on in the church and it is seriously hindering people's ability to follow the proper repentance process.

Not in my ward. I am on the ward council and these things are not discussed.

[Different]

The way weekly ward councils have turned out, I wouldn't want anyone to report their spouse for watching porn unless they want the whole ward to know. There is a serious gossip and privacy problem going on in the church and it is seriously hindering people's ability to follow the proper repentance process.

Not in my ward. I am on the ward council and these things are not discussed.

Depends on the ward

[JohnnyL]

Why would a woman want everybody to know this? Women feel shame from this, so it doesn't make sense to me. Maybe they tell someone to get some support?

I don't think it is just about the support. More likely they have their own problems, and they love the attention they get when they let everyone to know that they are the victim.

Really?

Being a strong example is good attention, playing a victim is not good attention.

I think women are just more hurt than men allow for or are comfortable with, I think women reach for support in a way they know how or are able to.

By the way...when a husband is in porn, it is not just his problem but he had also made it hers.

So if a man does it, it just destroys a woman's heart, but if a woman does it, it's like the pain of popping a bubble...?

How is a man supposed to feel when his wife watches and reads like that?

"JohnnyL, I love to watch soap operas. The guys are so much more handsome than my husband." (Heard that before, yup.) How bad should he feel, on a 0-10?

Now switch to "Melissa, I love to watch soap operas. The girls are so much prettier than my wife." Does it feel the same?

How does this affect your understanding?: Men are emotionally deeper than women.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... women.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

http://elitedaily.com/dating/guys-more- ... s/1077730/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

There have been other studies, too.

[JohnnyL]

There are plenty of horror stories in the internet about spouses letting basically everyone to know about their husbands porn addiction. There is no reasonable excuse for the behaviour of the wives in these stories. I guess that kind of stories inspired the OP.

Even though the OP is clearly parody, maybe there is some message in it. Do I have habits (maybe not as bad as porn) that I should change? How can spouses help each other to get rid of such habits?

I would categorize a wife releasing such information to the world into the same category as revenge porn where a jilted boyfriend sends a video his girlfriend made for him when they were together to a site so the world can see her. Exposure in either case is uncalled for and I believe should be grounds for legal action. So if a woman (regarding the porn disclosure issue) does such a thing to her husband, and they eventually divorce, the judge in a custody hearing should see this as a dark spot on her character and give the custody of the children to him.

Porn = dirty little secret and if you tell anyone I will take the kids away. Lol, good one.

And men never share anything about their wives??

Also...girls/women don't ever take private photos or videos of yourself and give to anyone, including your husband. It's really stupid and dangerous.

Generally, men rarely do. Even good friends have a hard time sharing lots of things beyond, "She spends an hour putting her make-up on." In the position of a healer, it's still hard for guys to open up about the stuff their wives do, often ESPECIALLY when it's serious.

[JohnnyL]

There are plenty of horror stories in the internet about spouses letting basically everyone to know about their husbands porn addiction. There is no reasonable excuse for the behaviour of the wives in these stories. I guess that kind of stories inspired the OP.

Even though the OP is clearly parody, maybe there is some message in it. Do I have habits (maybe not as bad as porn) that I should change? How can spouses help each other to get rid of such habits?

As a widow just told me, spend that one-on-one time with her weekly. Or as the song said, "sometime other than than the night".

[JohnnyL]

Why is it satire if a guy posts this? Are we not allowed to feel insecure or want some attention from our wives?

I keep reading there is no excuse for porn, and it is always sin, and then when a guy complains about his wife's porn, the excuses are endless.

For years I wondered why my wife was so attracted to violent shows. I had assumed that women were naturally more averse to blood and gore. I eventually realized it was about the men on the shows - tough, strong, protective, powerful. A standard I can never meet.

If men seeing naked women can make them less attracted to their wife, why can wives seeing strong or rich men not make them less attracted to their husbands?

Reading that, I was reminded of an LDS girl, among her roommates, who conceded "there was nothing about a man that was really sexually stimulating." I think you have a point. Many women are turned OFF by naked men, so let's base it on the actual PRINCIPLES behind pornography and strong/ rich/ smooth men, instead of actual "nakedness".

[Melissa]

Why would a woman want everybody to know this? Women feel shame from this, so it doesn't make sense to me. Maybe they tell someone to get some support?

I don't think it is just about the support. More likely they have their own problems, and they love the attention they get when they let everyone to know that they are the victim.

Really?

Being a strong example is good attention, playing a victim is not good attention.

I think women are just more hurt than men allow for or are comfortable with, I think women reach for support in a way they know how or are able to.

By the way...when a husband is in porn, it is not just his problem but he had also made it hers.

So if a man does it, it just destroys a woman's heart, but if a woman does it, it's like the pain of popping a bubble...?

How is a man supposed to feel when his wife watches and reads like that?

"JohnnyL, I love to watch soap operas. The guys are so much more handsome than my husband." (Heard that before, yup.) How bad should he feel, on a 0-10?

Now switch to "Melissa, I love to watch soap operas. The girls are so much prettier than my wife." Does it feel the same?

How does this affect your understanding?: Men are emotionally deeper than women.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... women.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

http://elitedaily.com/dating/guys-more- ... s/1077730/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

There have been other studies, too.

I'm not really understanding why your coming at me with these questions and situations?

I'm not a man hater and in fact I have more compassion and sympathy for men than I do women. I think women can be awful and mean and full of double standards. Frankly, women bug me.

If a man or woman watches a show and then says they watch it because the people are prettier or more hansome than their spouse, they are both entitled to be offended and hurt. Because that is plain rude and heartless.

I don't discount the pain of men and I don't discount the pain of women. One problem is trying to find an equal and comparable "action" between the genders that actually is comparable.

Men typically do not understand why porn hurts their wife so much. They don't see it the same way their wives do. So men continue to do it and don't seem to care to know how it really affects their wife. They essentially are "dumb" and thus the action comes accross as more hurtful.

Women are sensitive about physical appearance, men typically are not. So men, viewing naked women in sexual ways that are often artifical of some sort is INCREDIBLY damaging to a woman and she gets very insecure. All the while these men are dumb to it all and tend to make the injury worse by defending their behavior and belittling his wife or making fun of her.

Now, what exactly are you saying is comparable for the men? Romance novels? I am clueless with those so I can't respond to that...never read a single sentence myself. Action packed movies with strong men who are manly? Why does this hurt the man? How is her watching an action movie comparable to porn? I guess I don't get it. But...if she obviously is having a fantasy affair with a man on the screen and watches it over and over and talks about him being so lovely....then the man has every right to be offended and I wouldn't blame him if he told her exactly how he feels about her lack of being faithful to him.
BUT....don't expect her to change...she has to decide to change on her own and you would have to continue to be faithful and lean on the Lord for support while loving and supporting her so she can "heal"...after all this is what women are expected to do for their husbands. If men want to play the hurt now (which may be completely justified) then they also have to accept everything else that goes with it. Expect to be ignored, mocked, made fun of, criticized, blamed, judged, labeled, isolated, lonely, scared, ashamed, lost, emotionally drained but expected to not to be, and punished if you seek for help for yourself so you don't go nuts. And also expect to be hurt but not get the resolve you need while finding ways to love and support and heal your wife's spirit all while she may not even acknowledge or say she is sorry to you.

Drama...hardly. Chip on the shoulder,? ya, a little.
The whole thing is screwy and messed up. I'm also not the only one who has these feelings. The church has done a very poor job regarding pornography and this has caused some bad feelings from people who have had to deal with it in their homes or families.

Men have been using this porn stuff and women have been gravely hurt by it all the while the church keeps putting out articles about how a woman can do this or do that and the man is the victim and needs to be supported by his wife....so posts like this thread are a little urking. Men want to now play the vicim because of their wives watching action movies but they were just playing the victim after hurting their wives by using real porn...it's just enough to piss a good woman off.

I'm sure I may be called a femanist by a few or you...which is a judgement that is not correct. Just because a woman speaks against a man's behavior doesn't make her a femanist. I respect men...but I pitty men who don't resemble anything masculine. I give the same treatment to women except I'm a little harsher with them cause so many of them bring shame to what a female is.

I am fully aware that this is controversial and I expect flak from it. I am aware that absolutes don't exist and that not all men play the victim or have hurt their wives or anything else. Speaking in general terms looking at the big picture not every bodies specific situation. I also admit that men are not the only ones using porn or the only ones causing insecurities in their spouse. I know women can be horrible creatures and it's becoming more common.

I also can see a pattern forming of roles reversing. Men are turning into women and women are turning into men. We cannot just go blaming the other because we still do have stewardship of self and agency to choose.

Men are bashing women more and more these days...it's getting really bad. And women are essentially becoming unattached to men and not needing/wanting them. Seriously, it like a bad marriage playing out for society. It's not going to just get better, both have to work at it and stop blaming and resenting and being bitter. Not going to happen I'm sure.

[Melissa]

There are plenty of horror stories in the internet about spouses letting basically everyone to know about their husbands porn addiction. There is no reasonable excuse for the behaviour of the wives in these stories. I guess that kind of stories inspired the OP.

Even though the OP is clearly parody, maybe there is some message in it. Do I have habits (maybe not as bad as porn) that I should change? How can spouses help each other to get rid of such habits?

I would categorize a wife releasing such information to the world into the same category as revenge porn where a jilted boyfriend sends a video his girlfriend made for him when they were together to a site so the world can see her. Exposure in either case is uncalled for and I believe should be grounds for legal action. So if a woman (regarding the porn disclosure issue) does such a thing to her husband, and they eventually divorce, the judge in a custody hearing should see this as a dark spot on her character and give the custody of the children to him.

Porn = dirty little secret and if you tell anyone I will take the kids away. Lol, good one.

And men never share anything about their wives??

Also...girls/women don't ever take private photos or videos of yourself and give to anyone, including your husband. It's really stupid and dangerous.

Generally, men rarely do. Even good friends have a hard time sharing lots of things beyond, "She spends an hour putting her make-up on." In the position of a healer, it's still hard for guys to open up about the stuff their wives do, often ESPECIALLY when it's serious.

Im sure your right- to some degree I believe there is a perspective difference. There are men who do speak and like you said "she takes an hour for her makeup" is a man speaking about his wife in a way that she may not find as harmless as he does.

[Fiannan]

Reading that, I was reminded of an LDS girl, among her roommates, who conceded "there was nothing about a man that was really sexually stimulating." I think you have a point. Many women are turned OFF by naked men, so let's base it on the actual PRINCIPLES behind pornography and strong/ rich/ smooth men, instead of actual "nakedness".

I remember reading a research study that suggested that women are generally not turned on by merely the sight of a naked man, but instead if there is a context, i.e. if he is, well, you know, or if he is holding hands with a naked woman walking down a beach, or is actually having sex. Ironically, the same research said that even the sight of chimps engaged in intimacy was a turn on for women, as was seeing the sight of a naked woman. On the other hand a man can create context in his mind, so if he sees a group of naked women protesting Trump, and he is against Trump, he might get turned on, but if he is for Trump he will find them absurd.

So ironically a man marrying the woman like the LDS girl described above had better hope she reads explicit romance novels or looks at porn occasionally, or at least has a taste for "Game of Thrones," re-runs of "True Blood" or the occasional naughty scene in "Westworld." Otherwise she will see sex as a chore and never instigate it unless under a feeling of obligation.

[JohnnyL]

I would categorize a wife releasing such information to the world into the same category as revenge porn where a jilted boyfriend sends a video his girlfriend made for him when they were together to a site so the world can see her. Exposure in either case is uncalled for and I believe should be grounds for legal action. So if a woman (regarding the porn disclosure issue) does such a thing to her husband, and they eventually divorce, the judge in a custody hearing should see this as a dark spot on her character and give the custody of the children to him.

Porn = dirty little secret and if you tell anyone I will take the kids away. Lol, good one.

And men never share anything about their wives??

Also...girls/women don't ever take private photos or videos of yourself and give to anyone, including your husband. It's really stupid and dangerous.

Generally, men rarely do. Even good friends have a hard time sharing lots of things beyond, "She spends an hour putting her make-up on." In the position of a healer, it's still hard for guys to open up about the stuff their wives do, often ESPECIALLY when it's serious.

Im sure your right- to some degree I believe there is a perspective difference. There are men who do speak and like you said "she takes an hour for her makeup" is a man speaking about his wife in a way that she may not find as harmless as he does.

I really hope you are not equating "My husband looks at porn" vs. "My wife takes an hour to put on makeup".

[simpleton]

A woman "should" be to her husband as a man "should" be to Christ ....

If Christ was a man's first and foremost love then a woman would have a real true man to look up to and visa versa... although the true man that follows Christ is the leader in the home or at least should be ... but when the marriage descend into depravity, corruption and immorality unless their is some speedy repentance ( which by the way means to stop completely whatever it is that you are doing that is wrong) the marriage is toast....

Do you really think that the noble spirits in heaven waiting to partake of a body want to go into the family's of porn addicts? I wouldn't think so.
This childish battling over he did this and she did that is like a bunch of 2 year olds...

Wake up men and be men , men of the most High God.... and wake up women and be women of the most High God..

That is what we should be doing , but it starts with us as individuals. I am not pointing fingers here as I include myself in this observation... just some thinking..

[Melissa]

I didn't think I was but now you got me thinking.

....so you don't think its ever possible that a man can hurt or offend a wife by stating simple things like that? Say it in front of your wife and see her reaction and response- bet she doest just drop it either.

A woman wants to feel pretty and when you go and tell everyone it takes her an hour to apply makeup...it brings shame at the obvious amount of work it really takes to come off as attractive. Shame to her for not being naturally pretty and she has to work at it. Make up is already about fooling people into thinking your better somehow so then tell everyone how long it takes to look this way...just brings home to her how miserable and self conscience she can be about her looks. All the while everyone jokes about it.


Bringing shame is bringing shame. A guy doesn't think saying this about his wife is hurtful because he is perpetuating what society has made jokes about. This...is where the two can be the same. The ease at which both lines can be said by someone without recognizing the actual hurt/shame it can cause.

See, a good man wouldn't ever say how long it took his wife to get ready or how much work was involved, he also would want others to see him as having a pretty wife....why bring shame to her and yourself by basically saying she's wearing a mask and she's really not that attractive?

Same goes for porn or other issues. It brings shame to both parties and their too dumb to see it.

There are times when things need to be said to some people. If a man hit his wife I would hope she would say something to someone and forget about any shame it may bring. And porn is like throwing your wife up against the wall. Just because some men have an immaturity and self centered - Ness and cannot see the damage and threat porn is....doesn't mean all women are awful for seeking help on the issue.

You don't want your wife to talk to others about porn...dont use it. That's the only control you have and input your entitled to. A man cannot hurt and betray to a degree of distress then ignore the issue or her pain and expect her to keep his secret at the expense of her own self. That's controlling and selfish.

Men don't like women to be controlling or selfish but it's okay if they are? Men can be both of these things more often than women but don't see it because WE CANNOT COMPARE THE GENDERS STRAIGHT ACCROSS.

Example....I wouldn't tell everyone how much makeup my husband wears so he shouldn't say it about me.

But seriously...you don't want anyone to know your sin so you want to imprison your spouse in your chains of sin so they also suffer all so your secret stays in the dark?

Someday...it will all be shouted from the rooftop for all to hear. Best just take ownership of your life and walk in the light without shame. This goes for every man woman and child alike.

Don't control your spouses responses and behaviors any more than you want yours controlled. A man wants his wife to not speak of his issue which does mean to not receive any support or assistance. But he never gave her a choice, he just acted on his own with porn. He has ZERO right to tell her what to do after he just went and took away her say in the matter without consulting her. So she doesn't have to consult him to get what support she needs.

[Melissa]

A woman "should" be to her husband as a man "should" be to Christ ....

If Christ was a man's first and foremost love then a woman would have a real true man to look up to and visa versa... although the true man that follows Christ is the leader in the home or at least should be ... but when the marriage descend into depravity, corruption and immorality unless their is some speedy repentance ( which by the way means to stop completely whatever it is that you are doing that is wrong) the marriage is toast....

Do you really think that the noble spirits in heaven waiting to partake of a body want to go into the family's of porn addicts? I wouldn't think so.
This childish battling over he did this and she did that is like a bunch of 2 year olds...

Wake up men and be men , men of the most High God.... and wake up women and be women of the most High God..

That is what we should be doing , but it starts with us as individuals. I am not pointing fingers here as I include myself in this observation... just some thinking..

A Godly man would never look upon God's children the way men look at women in porn. That is not a Godly man.
And members of this church have the priesthood and go on missions and marry in the temple. The fact that we have so many wordy issues within our male/female members brings shame to the whole church body.

A woman blames a man and she is punished and shamed by being called a man hater, bitter, femanist etc.

Men are now blaming women for their every lack of not meeting the bar...

This is one issue I have with the church handling porn. I think they are being soft about it and kind about it because it's such a problem and they don't want people to become offended. But if they preached hell fire truth about pornography and lust and told the truth, maybe it would wake people up?

Everything is pretty sugar coated in the church right bow as to not cause offence...someday it won't be so sugar coated.

I fully believe a man who's married in the temple who "uses" porn should receive church discipline because he has broken his marriage covenants he made and the woman has the right to leave the marriage if she chooses on the grounds of breaking the moral covenant between him and his wife.

Oh...so harsh right? Is it really?

[WhereCanITurn4Peace]

Yours is the best post by far in this thread, simpleton. Thank you for your words of wisdom.

I find these men versus women threads tiresome to the extreme. How about instead of pointing fingers we take personal responsibility for ourselves and our role in our marriage? All that the "women do this" or "men do that" bickering accomplishes is to widen the divide (D&C 38:27... I say unto you, be one; and if ye are not one ye are not mine), not to mention it makes the poster saying such things look insecure, puerile and/or like someone that tends to blame everyone except the person in the mirror for their problems.

1 Corinthians 7:3-4

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4–7)

[Fiannan]

I really hope you are not equating "My husband looks at porn" vs. "My wife takes an hour to put on makeup".

Or, in the case of Germany, maybe the wife is looking at porn and the husband is taking an hour to put on makeup.

[Fiannan]

Again, why is this being made into a man or woman issue when it involves all sorts of people of both genders?