$$$ College $$$

[ajax]

My daughter is graduating high school in June and wants to attend an expensive private school in our area to pursue a career in nursing. We've pretty much told her ad nauseam we can't afford that option, nor would she want the loan burden - 50-80k after 4yrs.

We've tried to steer her toward the community college option and then tranferring her junior year to a much less expensive State Univ.

She says she has prayed about it and feels that going to the private school is the right decision.

Now what? I'm at the point of just saying, "Well, you're 18, it's your life, good luck."

[Rose Garden]

And why is that the wrong answer?

[Original_Intent]

Paying for a child's higher education is something that many of us in this economy simply can't afford.

We have told both of our sons that college education is something they will need to finance - thru scholarships and thru working their way thru school.

Bottom line is we would love to help, but we are both 50 and have a pittance set aside for retirement. I agree with your sentiment "You are 18, it's your life, choose wisely."

[ajax]

And why is that the wrong answer?

I understand, maybe it's not.

I can't help but look through the practical parenting lens, and as one who understands the pitfalls of debt, the idea of my child coming out of school with a mortgage without having a mortgage is ghastly to me, especially when there are other cheaper options.

[Rose Garden]

Of course, you can't help seeing how it's going to be a big problem for your daughter. But you can help stepping on her free agency. What other options do you have other than forcing her to do what you think is right? Anyway, if she got an answer from the Spirit, maybe she is right?

[deep water]

We see our agency and the agency of all the peoples of the world being taken away left and right. Yet, we see no reason to change. We were to be a light unto the world, Yet we use that light to best the people of the world, in the things of the world. We even have our own world class institutions of learning to help us do that. Why will it take famine, sickness, and the sword of the king of Assyria to get us to look up, instead of down, to the things of the earth? We are a stiff necked people who will learn by VIOLENCE what we could have learned in LOVE. Oh how we love Babylon and serve with gusto its Gods. Awake and arise, throw off our tether to the millstone before it is thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone. Awake and arise before our die is cast.---- This is from another post. ---This should be the knowledge they desire. However such is not the case. My last child has graduated college and has been accepted into pharmacy school. It is so difficult when the only model of Christ they see is you and the rest of the world screams something else. When she came home with A s, I would say thats nice but your scriptures are the most important thing in your life. Or when she opened her acceptance to pharmacy school, like a missionary would a mission call, my response was I would rather you become a child of God. In the Churches eyes she has done everything perfect so far. Yet Christ cries for her. As a father with open eyes, it breaks your heart. So far two of my five children have seen the light, one who had her masters in Finance and accounting and was tearing up the world living in a 750,000 home in so Jorden, with two new cars. To a stay at home mother living in rental housing, and a son who never would go to College.

Why have so many easy opportunities of the world, opened up for my children? Who wants my children more than me? Who wants the lords children more that the Lord?

[boo]

As a parent of 2 college or grad school attending kids and one graduate school attending wife I know the pain. Nonetheless we all learn how to choose the good by trial and experience painful though it may be. If I may offer a concrete suggestion sit down with her and discuss in a mature way her budget for the next 10 years . Have her look at her estimated earnings as a nurse over that period minus living expenses minus student loan repayment if she goes the expensive route versus the cheap if less emotionally attractive route. Then support her decision and resist the temptation to say I told you so. My son had 2 scholarship offers to law school. The place he really wanted to go offered him a pittance. The equally good school but less appealing alternative offered him a full ride plus a stipend. I did that with him and then let him make the decision .Ultimately he reluctantly choose the full ride . While he hasn't been quite as happy there as he would at the other place he is deeply thankful he is about to graduate with no debt. You are welcome to share that story with her. Actually he will be happy to tell her himself . Good luck Dad

[rewcox]

I know a young women who loaned, from a more expensive college, her way to a degree. Her degree was something she couldn't get a job. Now she is saddled with debt, a lot. That haunts you for a long time!

I know a young man who received a very marketable degree, especially in Texas, yet has not been able to find employment. His issue is more of personality.

People need to be realistic. If you can get into a Harvard, Yale, Stanford, UT, etc, and have the right degree, you can make more money. It will cost you a lot of money for a degree from one of those places. Of course, your personality comes into play also. It may be just as important to work on your personality, looks, etc.

You can get a nursing degree from multiple places. Does one place offer a better chance of employment at a higher wage? Is it worth the expensive cost? These and other items need to be involved in the decision. You need a really good reason to go to a more expensive place, more than a feeling.

Have you ever had buyer's remorse after you bought something? A big student loan will smack you hard if it doesn't work out the way you thought. I also believe this is a family consideration, not just the child's, because if it fails, it comes back to the family.

[deep water]

I repeat; We see our agency and the agency of all the peoples of the world being taken away left and right. Yet, we see no reason to change. We were to be a light unto the world, Yet we use that light to best the people of the world, in the things of the world. We even have our own world class institutions of learning to help us do that. Why will it take famine, sickness, and the sword of the king of Assyria to get us to look up, instead of down, to the things of the earth? We are a stiff necked people who will learn by VIOLENCE what we could have learned in LOVE. Oh how we love Babylon and serve with gusto its Gods. Awake and arise, throw off our tether to the millstone before it is thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone. Awake and arise before our die is cast.---- This is from another post. ---This should be the knowledge they desire. However such is not the case. My last child has graduated college and has been accepted into pharmacy school. It is so difficult when the only model of Christ they see is you and the rest of the world screams something else. When she came home with A s, I would say thats nice but your scriptures are the most important thing in your life. Or when she opened her acceptance to pharmacy school, like a missionary would a mission call, my response was I would rather you become a child of God. In the Churches eyes she has done everything perfect so far. Yet Christ cries for her. As a father with open eyes, it breaks your heart. So far two of my five children have seen the light, one who had her masters in Finance and accounting and was tearing up the world living in a 750,000 home in so Jorden, with two new cars. To a stay at home mother living in rental housing, and a son who never would go to College.

Why have so many easy opportunities of the world, opened up for my children? Who wants my children more than me? Who wants the lords children more that the Lord?

[bethany]

I don't know how the loans work, but are you required to sign for them? They had a story recently where a student died... Owing 40k & they are going after his mother for it. She had co-signed. So is she able to get loans without your help?

My daughter is going the community college route, when she gets out as a nurse, she won't have debt. She plans to marry when she reaches the LPN stage & then finish RN. If your daughter is not in a relationship, you might want to photoshop a pic of her with a big fat price tag on her ;). Not many men want a fiancé & mortgage attached....

Good luck. My son wanted to go a 4 yr., we live close to an excellent 2 yr. but he wanted the other atmosphere. He did a yr, dropped out but did get a good job that is giving him opportunities & excellent training for the future. We told him that we couldn't help if he didn't do the cheaper route. He's learning to be responsible & keeps his expenses down.

Good luck. They have no clue what debt is!

[Hyrcanus]

And why is that the wrong answer?

I understand, maybe it's not.

I can't help but look through the practical parenting lens, and as one who understands the pitfalls of debt, the idea of my child coming out of school with a mortgage without having a mortgage is ghastly to me, especially when there are other cheaper options.

This is a great question. My kids are too young to have had to deal with this, but the first thing that came to mind was to sit down and tell her you're proud of the fact that she's done well, has options, etc. You'll support her no matter which direction she goes, lay out what you're willing to do financially for her on the following precondition, that she does a budget with you. Take both scenarios and build a projected post-school budget. One with 80k (or whatever the final total of loans will be), figure in a conservative projected salary, expenses, etc. She'll see side by side that she will have nearly twice the disposable income and still have a nursing degree.

Then support whatever she does in whatever way makes sense. Good luck!

[Obrien]

I'm a new poster on the forum but I'm an old hand at parenting. Forum members are providing you with top notch advice. Is this your first / only child? The answer to that question affects a lot of what I would give as perspective.

let me just say two things -
1 - my oldest 2 kids have both been graduated from recognizable 4 year schools with bachelor degrees. They left school with no debt, no pell grants and no support from mom and dad.
2 - they have both independently and privately thanked me for allowing them to accomplish their goal without " help". Accomplishment is what builds confidence.

I could say a lot more, but you probably have got it handled.

[Rose Garden]

And why is that the wrong answer?

I understand, maybe it's not.

I can't help but look through the practical parenting lens, and as one who understands the pitfalls of debt, the idea of my child coming out of school with a mortgage without having a mortgage is ghastly to me, especially when there are other cheaper options.

This is a great question. My kids are too young to have had to deal with this, but the first thing that came to mind was to sit down and tell her you're proud of the fact that she's done well, has options, etc. You'll support her no matter which direction she goes, lay out what you're willing to do financially for her on the following precondition, that she does a budget with you. Take both scenarios and build a projected post-school budget. One with 80k (or whatever the final total of loans will be), figure in a conservative projected salary, expenses, etc. She'll see side by side that she will have nearly twice the disposable income and still have a nursing degree.

Then support whatever she does in whatever way makes sense. Good luck!

I think this is the best suggestion allowing her to keep her free agency. Tell her exactly what you can and will do for her, such as provide x amount of dollars to help her financially, help her with rent, or whatever, and then she will be empowered with the information she needs to make her own choices.

[deep water]

I can not believe what i see. The scriptures tell us that if you want to abide the day of burning, the only way to do that, is to take the HS for your guide. Yet all here propose Man and mans institutions. You can have it your way, just so long.

[Rensai]

I was lured into a fairly expensive school by a recruiter promising higher paying jobs, showing stats about their job placement rates, etc. It sounded great. I graduated 10 years ago and am still paying on the student loans. Its literally like paying for another house. I regret the decision greatly. Since then, I've been telling everyone I know not to go that route. I say, find the cheapest college you can, because while many employers care that you have a degree they really don't care where it is from for the most part.

One of my brother's skipped college all together and learned how to install and repair HVAC systems. He's making 30 bucks and hour and is working his way towards buying part of the company, at which point he'll make considerably more money. He is one of the youngest siblings and is financially one of the strongest, even over brothers who are a lawyer and a nurse anesthetist who both have a lot of debt.

Another brother finished a degree, found out he hates the work, and has decided to go back to school for a different degree and even more debt.

I have a sister who got a degree in nursing, worked a few years, hating it the entire time and has since given up. Luckily she didn't acquire too much debt (she went to BYU-I) and her husband makes enough she can just be a stay at home mom. Even still, she sure wasted a lot of time on a degree she doesn't want to use.

The point is, that most kids are completely unprepared to make these types of decisions. It sure seems to me like High school is doing a terrible job teaching them. I've always thought HS should involve chances to take internships and try out jobs before committing. If it were my daughter, I'd try and talk her into finding an unpaid internship at the hospital or something for a month or two to see if its even something she really wants to do. I would also try to advise her to talk to many nurses, ask where they went to school, ask about the debt, etc. She might listen more to an unbiased 3rd party, someone who is actually in nursing over a parent.

Before going to college, kids need to take some time to get the right information and try things out. Its a huge decision, so why are we taught to just pick something that sounds good and jump in, instead of carefully researching and testing careers out? Anyway, that's where I'd suggest you focus your efforts. See if she won't agree to take some time learning more about it and maybe the school issue will sort itself out. If nothing else, you'll have more time to try and convince her to go to the cheaper school and she'd be more sure its the right career path.

[rewcox]

I can not believe what i see. The scriptures tell us that if you want to abide the day of burning, the only way to do that, is to take the HS for your guide. Yet all here propose Man and mans institutions. You can have it your way, just so long.

Really DW?

Christ was a carpenter. Wonder how he learned that.

Maybe you might explain how you live life. Denver has said, "Show me, don't tell me." What is your show?

[Hyrcanus]

I was lured into a fairly expensive school by a recruiter promising higher paying jobs, showing stats about their job placement rates, etc. It sounded great. I graduated 10 years ago and am still paying on the student loans. Its literally like paying for another house. I regret the decision greatly. Since then, I've been telling everyone I know not to go that route. I say, find the cheapest college you can, because while many employers care that you have a degree they really don't care where it is from for the most part.

One of my brother's skipped college all together and learned how to install and repair HVAC systems. He's making 30 bucks and hour and is working his way towards buying part of the company, at which point he'll make considerably more money. He is one of the youngest siblings and is financially one of the strongest, even over brothers who are a lawyer and a nurse anesthetist who both have a lot of debt.

Another brother finished a degree, found out he hates the work, and has decided to go back to school for a different degree and even more debt.

I have a sister who got a degree in nursing, worked a few years, hating it the entire time and has since given up. Luckily she didn't acquire too much debt (she went to BYU-I) and her husband makes enough she can just be a stay at home mom. Even still, she sure wasted a lot of time on a degree she doesn't want to use.

The point is, that most kids are completely unprepared to make these types of decisions. It sure seems to me like High school is doing a terrible job teaching them. I've always thought HS should involve chances to take internships and try out jobs before committing. If it were my daughter, I'd try and talk her into finding an unpaid internship at the hospital or something for a month or two to see if its even something she really wants to do. I would also try to advise her to talk to many nurses, ask where they went to school, ask about the debt, etc. She might listen more to an unbiased 3rd party, someone who is actually in nursing over a parent.

Before going to college, kids need to take some time to get the right information and try things out. Its a huge decision, so why are we taught to just pick something that sounds good and jump in, instead of carefully researching and testing careers out? Anyway, that's where I'd suggest you focus your efforts. See if she won't agree to take some time learning more about it and maybe the school issue will sort itself out. If nothing else, you'll have more time to try and convince her to go to the cheaper school and she'd be more sure its the right career path.

This is great advice. Suggesting that she try out a job in her field over a summer or on a part time basis is spot on. When my wife was working on her Nursing degree she got her Phlebotomist certification and worked part time at the hospital drawing blood.

Part of the reason I suggested a budget above is that we often go into a conclusion with lots of unstated assumptions. Laying out a budget is pure math and she'll be able to see in easy form the actual effect the decision will have on her, the internship falls quite nicely in line with that.

[Col. Flagg]

I haven't read through all the posts, but has she considered a Pell Grant? If you qualify, that's the only way to go as far as college tuition because costs have gotten way out of control and it has become nothing short of a racket, just like everything else in our society that places money first and foremost ahead of all else. Textbooks are the biggest racket as most are now $150 or more and there's a new one you have to buy each semester so that the textbook publishing company can make more money with a new version every 4 months. Or your Professor has concocted something up that you have to buy for $50 too. Oh, and you want to sell your book back to the bookstore after the semester? They either won't buy it back since the new one is on its way that will cost even more or they'll give you $50 for the $150 you paid. The games they play with you and the hoops you have to jump through are nauseating and absurd, not to mention usurious! :ymsick:

I decided to go back to school recently to pursue a Physical Therapy Asst. license since I lost my job last year - it's only a 2 year degree and I can obtain it at a local community college here that offers the program and you can earn $20-$25 per hour once you graduate (which isn't bad for an AAS). At present, I'm in the last week of my human anatomy class, a course I took 9 years ago at UVU, but since it's been more than 5 years, I had to re-take the course as a pre-requisite and not only that, since I got a C instead of a B (which is what you have to get for it to count towards your program), I would have had to re-take it even if I had taken it after 2009. And on top of that, the volume and complexity of material they expect you to know is insane for 4 credits (I don't want to be a surgeon for crying out loud)! :ymsick: I currently have 161 credit hours of college education too, not to mention 10 years' experience working in both an inpatient and outpatient physical therapy clinical setting treating patients and it all counts for NOTHING towards the program. =))

As far as the private school thing... I would avoid it like the plague! They are a rip-off and the quality of education you get isn't any better than at a local college/university. Most charge about $450-$500 per credit hour. =)) Thus, if you want an associates degree, it will only cost you $30,000 (not including books, travel costs and other fees). :ymsick: They are a massive money-making institution first and an academic institution second. There's also the problem of accreditation... many are not accredited properly and so any classes you take will not transfer to a public school/college/university.

These private schools get away with murder and highway robbery. The only thing you really get is convenience as most are for working adults who can't go during the day, but you'll pay dearly for that 'convenience'. I went to Stevens-Henager Business College from 1994-1995 (didn't know better back then) and got an accounting diploma which hasn't done squat for me financially. Fortunately, the tab was only $5,000 back then. Some of these private schools offer programs that are $10,000-$12,000 for 10 months like medical assisting and when you're done, the gullible student that went through the program finds out that they can make more per hour working at McDonald's. =)) And the state of Utah does absolutely nothing about it all. :ymapplause:

My 2 cents.

[deep water]

Looking through the eyes of the world, at the world, is what we have done for 180 years. What has it gotten us? Try looking at the world through Christ's eyes for once. If we only knew!

[DrJay]

It's too bad that the International Academy of Science doesn't have a nursing program. It focuses on research degrees. All the students costs are covered by fellowships. No student loans. It is a one on one mentoring program, so the students have lots of experience in the real world before they graduate, hence all have jobs waiting for them. I went through my doctorate degree here. The school is Sponsored by Zion. Now there is a real world fix.

As for your daughter as she was told by the spirit to go to the expensive private school, have her go back and find out how to implement it without having a huge negative impact on her parents.

[Rose Garden]

Looking through the eyes of the world, at the world, is what we have done for 180 years. What has it gotten us? Try looking at the world through Christ's eyes for once. If we only knew!

I'm curious why you think everyone is recommending the way of the world. Are you opposed to college? Opposed to the suggestions on how to deal with the situation?

[JohnnyL]

My daughter is graduating high school in June and wants to attend an expensive private school in our area to pursue a career in nursing. We've pretty much told her ad nauseam we can't afford that option, nor would she want the loan burden - 50-80k after 4yrs.

We've tried to steer her toward the community college option and then tranferring her junior year to a much less expensive State Univ.

She says she has prayed about it and feels that going to the private school is the right decision.

Now what? I'm at the point of just saying, "Well, you're 18, it's your life, good luck."

Have you prayed about it? O:-)

[deep water]

I just want the best for all here. If we only knew what we are missing by living the way we are living. Christ has told us to; FIRST seek the kingdom of Heaven. What is wrong with doing what Christ wants us to. We have been doing it mans way for so long that NO ONE believes God, nor do they follow him. We talk as if we know. we bear false witness that we believe and follow him, But he is not fooled. There is such a great divide between mankind and the teachings found in the scriptures. The same divide that was between the rich man and Lazarus. Only you will not see it until you are looking around where the rich man found himself. I have stated before, WE DO NOT EVEN HAVE ONE GAME THAT TEACHES US GOD'S WAY, ALL GAMES TEACH I WIN YOU LOSE. INSANITY IS DEFINED AS; DOING THE SAME THING AND EXPECTING A DIFFERENT RESULT. Repent, return, as a little child. Search your scriptures and put them upon your walls for all to see, and take down the titles and accolades, the praises of man. To be learned is good, only if you follow God. Repent and return as a little Child.

[WaitingOnTheLord]

DeepWater, your posts are full of truth, I have noticed how many have skipped over what you are saying because we "Don't want to see" We believe as you and yours do.

Something about...I will send them strong delusion. If only we could all wake up, return and repent. It seems hard to step out of Babylon, but I testify, God provides if you trust Him.

[ajax]

So I should override her agency, tell her she can't go to school and instead apply at the local McDonalds?