Breast Enlargements for an LDS married woman

[Squally]

Hey, I'm not perfect physically either.

I disagree LSP, you're looking mighty fine in your avatar photo at least.

LOL. I agree Cowell. LSP, you are looking mighty fine in the avatar pic.... No enhancements necessary.

[Mosby]

Me and a friend joke that the only time we see pornography is for 3 hours a week during the block at Church (commenting on how many of the sisters dress, including YW and YW leaders). As a male and father that is very, very frustrating. Our Stake Patriarch has spoken to priesthood holders about how difficult it is to give a blessing to a YW after sitting across from her during the orientation and she is dressed immodestly.

Metzen- I just noticed that you are in Southern Utahr, and then read your quote. It seems that you are in my ward. Your comments are well taken, see you tomorrow morning

[truthseeds]

What a thoughtful post with good counsel. Many of the comments are so considerate and offer insight and wisdom. Take them to heart. And welcome to the forum!

I can think of a thousand reasons why you should not get implants, but the most important ones are the ones you feel deep inside. You have already expressed these.
1. I don't like the idea of being fake
2. I don't want to do it for any attention from anyone but my husband
3. I know it is unnatural
4. affect they would have in our marriage ( you misunderstand the effect it will have on your marriage.)

Everyone who has commented on this are absolutely right.

Porn has nothing to do with how ones wife looks. That is beside the point. You looking like a porn star is not the answer. Talk to your husband with compassion and understanding. Help him to understand how it effects you. Help him feel safe to express his true feelings about using porn. Work on this together. Do not go at this alone. Get some extra help. Go see the bishop yourself and maybe a counselor.
It is HIGHLY unlikely that your husband will be able to beat this without your help. But that help is from your heart, not your chest.

communicate, communicate, communicate. Do not think this is a quick fix, it may take years.

[Rose Garden]

I have always been extremely small busted. My husband had always made me feel comfortable and confident about it until recently, when I found evidence that he regularly viewed pornography. He confessed everything to me and has been seeing the bishop, we have been reading books together on the subject, he has done anything to prove that he can change. I believe that he honestly wants to and has the ability to change. He is a returned missionary and has been a complete wreck since I discovered it.

However, in a recent talk we had that lasted for hours and hours-lots of tears from both of us-I asked him to be COMPLETELY honest with me about what he thought about my body, since I knew he had been searching for something to fill a void that I couldn't fill. Not to sound too big headed, but I am naturally shaped much like a supermodel. He told me very sheepishly that he loved everything about me but would prefer that I had a bigger bust. Note: he didn't just say this first, it took a lot of coaxing and time for him to actually admit it. I don't want to paint the picture that he tells me what to change about myself.

My husband would NEVER ask me to get breast enhancements. But it IS something that I have always considered and now that I know that he really would prefer that-and so would I-I want to be able to give it to him.

However, I don't like the idea of being fake, and I don't like the fact that there would be so much judgement from my family and friends. I don't want to do it for any attention from anyone but my husband. I know it is unnatural, but so is changing other things to enhance your appearance-braces, makeup, hair coloring, tanning...I know it is much more drastic than that, but I truly only want them for the affect they would have in our marriage. I have researched all the side affects(with mixed feelings), and my own faithful LDS mother was considering getting them several years ago too. She advised me to make the decision prayerfully. I am very young (21). Is it wrong to get them? Is it against church teachings? I would prefer anything other than something fake, but I feel so masculine and embarressed by the way I have been built. Any advice from any ladies who have maybe considered it or just have some advice??

I haven't read any of the rest of the thread. I just thought you should know that some herbs can enlarge your breasts, such as fenugreek. I'd look into that before trying something that will alter your body for life. Also, if you'd like to know about the effects such a surgery might have on your ability to breastfeed your future children, you might try asking in this group of fine ladies: http://health.dir.groups.yahoo.com/grou ... dir&slk=20.

There's a lot of other advice I would like to give you about this subject, but I'm sure others on this forum have covered most of them, including the importance of praying about it. One thing I would say, though, is if you still want surgery--wait. You're still young and I would suspect your husband is too. Life is full of a lot of psychological changes at your age. When you're 25, you'll be better equipped to make such an important decision.

[truthseeds]

Below is a thread I started with a poll and some great advice when my wife was throwing the idea around. It may have some good information for your consideration.
Breast Augmentation or Body is Your Temple

[Fiannan]

Below is a thread I started with a poll and some great advice when my wife was throwing the idea around. It may have some good information for your consideration.
Breast Augmentation or Body is Your Temple

Good info! Kind of goes with what I mentioned earlier as to why many people doing this wind up divorcing. However, the same is true of couples where one, and not the other, gets really physically fit and starts getting attention from the opposite sex.

I was wondering, if a person has bad teeth (visualize Great Britain, haha) we would not condemn them for getting braces or even having some teeth removed, filed, capped, etc. yet that is cosmetic and could be said to be vanity (after all, the teeth are functional). And what if someone has spent too much time in the sun? Is laser surgury all that bad?
I think the ultimate thing I would look at is what the person involved wants -- believe me, there are some really strange cosmetic things done nowadays by doctors that most of us probably think are only done in central Africa. I suppose if a person wants it themselves, then that is great, but not if it is something that they feel compelled to do by others.

[ChelC]

I hesitate to resurrect the topic, but I do want to say that I agree with the poster who said to stop pressing on him about your body (or anything else). You need to think about your ultimate goal in this relationship instead of letting your emotions and insecurity control you. A mistake that I see lots of young LDS women make is to play the martyr role in early marriage, and then when they gain wisdom and experience and confidence with age, they resent the heck out of their husbands for it. They realize how they've neglected themselves, and they blame it on their husbands. I think they want to be the "good wife" by catering to the husband's wants, blaming themselves, etc. The problem is that such is not honest communication and it will lead to problems in marriage. Marriage is a partnership, and the fact that you would consider getting implants because you've turned his problem inward, tells me you're neglecting your own spirit.

Your marriage is a partnership and your ultimate goal of course is an eternal life together in the celestial kingdom. Right now his behavior is hindering that and all you can do is help him get through it. There will be a time in your marriage when he carries you. Sometimes you'll share burdens equally, sometimes one or the other of you will feel like you carry the burdens alone. Point is, a temple marriage is a covenant with the Lord and you are entitled to his wisdom and assistance. Neither of you is perfect, but beating yourself up for the others sin is not going to move you forward. There is nothing better than marriage and parenthood to teach you the depth of charity, humility, grace, forgiveness, etc. This will be a hurdle for you, but the steps you need to take are the steps of turning your lives back to the Lord. If you're at all like me, you'll need lots of challenges in life to keep you on the straight and narrow.