husband trying to recover from porn addiction

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freedomforall
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by freedomforall »

skmo wrote:
Fiannan wrote:I doubt porn in and of itself will keep someone out of the CK....
You are so very wrong in this.
To me, it sounds like more justification for porn use. I mean, what in the world does a man do and think while viewing porn....and then frequently repeating the process?

To say one doubts porn use will keep them out of the CK is on very dangerous ground. Porn use involves thinking, thinking involves sexual fantasies, sexual fantasies plague the mind any time any where. These unclean thoughts and porn use will condemn the person at the last day if not repented of and forsaken.

Alma 12:14
14 For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence.

Fiannan
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Fiannan »

freedomforall wrote:
skmo wrote:
Fiannan wrote:I doubt porn in and of itself will keep someone out of the CK....
You are so very wrong in this.
To me, it sounds like more justification for porn use. I mean, what in the world does a man do and think while viewing porn....and then frequently repeating the process?

To say one doubts porn use will keep them out of the CK is on very dangerous ground. Porn use involves thinking, thinking involves sexual fantasies, sexual fantasies plague the mind any time any where. These unclean thoughts and porn use will condemn the person at the last day if not repented of and forsaken.

Alma 12:14
14 For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence.
My original quote:
I doubt porn in and of itself will keep someone out of the CK but being caused to divert sexual energies away from seeking a mate, developing spirituality and creating worthwhile endeavors could. And porn does divert that life force, no doubt about it. Also, it is ironic that one would seek the substitutes for family and reproduction on this earth, when they could be sacrificing the opportunity to be with multiple wives in the eternities and have eternal reproduction.
All commandments have a purpose. Drinking, in and of itself, is not going to keep you out of the CK but the abuse of your mental/spiritual faculties, neglect of family and destruction of your health (not to mention actions on others) is what counts. Gluttony will not keep you out of the CK, but disrespect of your body, obesity cutting off spiritual channels, and cheating your family out of years of companionship is what counts.

freedomforall
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by freedomforall »

Fiannan wrote:
freedomforall wrote:
skmo wrote:
Fiannan wrote:I doubt porn in and of itself will keep someone out of the CK....
You are so very wrong in this.
To me, it sounds like more justification for porn use. I mean, what in the world does a man do and think while viewing porn....and then frequently repeating the process?

To say one doubts porn use will keep them out of the CK is on very dangerous ground. Porn use involves thinking, thinking involves sexual fantasies, sexual fantasies plague the mind any time any where. These unclean thoughts and porn use will condemn the person at the last day if not repented of and forsaken.

Alma 12:14
14 For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence.
My original quote:
I doubt porn in and of itself will keep someone out of the CK but being caused to divert sexual energies away from seeking a mate, developing spirituality and creating worthwhile endeavors could. And porn does divert that life force, no doubt about it. Also, it is ironic that one would seek the substitutes for family and reproduction on this earth, when they could be sacrificing the opportunity to be with multiple wives in the eternities and have eternal reproduction.
All commandments have a purpose. So why make excuses for breaking any one of them? Drinking, in and of itself, is not going to keep you out of the CK but the abuse of your mental/spiritual faculties, neglect of family and destruction of your health (not to mention actions on others) is what counts. Gluttony will not keep you out of the CK, but disrespect of your body, obesity cutting off spiritual channels, and cheating your family out of years of companionship is what counts.
You stated "I doubt porn in and of itself will keep someone out of the CK" of which is a false notion.
Drinking is not the same as porn use, not unless one has frequent mental pictures of a fifth of Everclear. Or a keg of Black Lager beer, or the very nasty Coors.
Gluttony is caused by the love of food, often as a means of comfort. This may be caused by mental issues of many various types, not necessarily by just plain wanting to overeat for the fun of it. But, I've yet to see where some guy gets chuck full of food and then picks a fight with someone because their brain is out of control.
I still think you're trying to make ungodly acts as okay and putting bad side effects aside.
So the day before someone dies, they need to go purchase a few porn mags, a keg of beer and eat until they can't walk. Will this help them get into God's kingdom unnoticed?

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Melissa
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Melissa »

Fiannan wrote:
freedomforall wrote:Here is a method of choice for those who want to overcome porn use.

First, be honest with yourself. Say to yourself something like, I really like looking at porn and getting turned on, etc.

Then pose this statement immediately following..........but, I want to go to the Celestial Kingdom even more. This gives our mind a choice, otherwise, the idea of looking at porn has no challenge of resistance.

So now a person has to decide which of the two opposing ideas is the one to be acted upon. If porn wins out all the time then the celestial kingdom is not that important to the person.
I doubt porn in and of itself will keep someone out of the CK but being caused to divert sexual energies away from seeking a mate, developing spirituality and creating worthwhile endeavors could. And porn does divert that life force, no doubt about it. Also, it is ironic that one would seek the substitutes for family and reproduction on this earth, when they could be sacrificing the opportunity to be with multiple wives in the eternities and have eternal reproduction.
Wow...

I view men who watch porn as weak, not the type who would want multiple wives and kids. They obviously look at porn for a reason and that could be that they lack confidence to receive pleasure 1st person or they don't know how to build confidence with a woman, so they are cheap and spend their time simply jerk in to naked strangers. Sounds pathetic to me honestly.

And your post reply is really bad on many levels. It places man in a helpless state victim to his sexual desires and women in a state of being acted upon. A man wants the celestial kingdom to have multiple wives? Isint that kinda the wrong focus? There is NO WAY a man will make it to the celestial kingdom if he is watching pornography and no way he will make it unless he embodies the celestial mentality and maturity of spirit...then multiple wives loses its earthy appeal because it will not be something that goes through the mind of a celestial being.

Fiannan
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Fiannan »

I view men who watch porn as weak, not the type who would want multiple wives and kids. They obviously look at porn for a reason and that could be that they lack confidence to receive pleasure 1st person or they don't know how to build confidence with a woman, so they are cheap and spend their time simply jerk in to naked strangers. Sounds pathetic to me honestly.
Or maybe they look at porn because God programmed men to get a high off looking at naked women, just as God programmed women to get a high off looking at or thinking about things that pertain to sexuality.

The problem is that like the Sirens in Greek literature it can substitute for real relationships. Sorry for not sounding like Mr. Mackey from Southpark and, rather than drugs, say "Porn is bad, m'kay?" I prefer to see why it is bad and go from there. That is probably the best way to combat it.

And just to note, again, women look at porn too.
And your post reply is really bad on many levels. It places man in a helpless state victim to his sexual desires and women in a state of being acted upon. A man wants the celestial kingdom to have multiple wives? Isint that kinda the wrong focus? There is NO WAY a man will make it to the celestial kingdom if he is watching pornography and no way he will make it unless he embodies the celestial mentality and maturity of spirit...then multiple wives loses its earthy appeal because it will not be something that goes through the mind of a celestial being.
No, men, and women, need to avoid it. However, in the animal kingdom, which humans are part, created by the same God, men seek mates and females lure mates. Why do women shave their bodies and put on makeup, because it makes them feel better? No, they do it to attract the best possible mate, or hold onto him. Porn capitalizes on the desire of men to desire attractive, fertile, women and, like a fishing lure to a fish, use these desires against the male. Women too like porn but, ironically, are more into the types that involve explicit romantic scenes (same thing as men, but for slightly different reasons). There are quite detailed theories in evolutionary psychology for that.

As for polygamy, I remember a Muslim imam giving a talk to men to avoid immoral women and he asked what man in his right mind would sacrifice an eternity with hundreds of black-eyed white women for a few moments with an immoral woman. I have actually heard people in Church make similar statements in regards to eternal polygamy and increase. I think it is a good point but the porn itself is dragging people away from the necessary commandment to marry and make a bunch of kids in this life.

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Melissa
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Melissa »

Fiannan wrote:
I view men who watch porn as weak, not the type who would want multiple wives and kids. They obviously look at porn for a reason and that could be that they lack confidence to receive pleasure 1st person or they don't know how to build confidence with a woman, so they are cheap and spend their time simply jerk in to naked strangers. Sounds pathetic to me honestly.
Or maybe they look at porn because God programmed men to get a high off looking at naked women, just as God programmed women to get a high off looking at or thinking about things that pertain to sexuality.

The problem is that like the Sirens in Greek literature it can substitute for real relationships. Sorry for not sounding like Mr. Mackey from Southpark and, rather than drugs, say "Porn is bad, m'kay?" I prefer to see why it is bad and go from there. That is probably the best way to combat it.

And just to note, again, women look at porn too.
And your post reply is really bad on many levels. It places man in a helpless state victim to his sexual desires and women in a state of being acted upon. A man wants the celestial kingdom to have multiple wives? Isint that kinda the wrong focus? There is NO WAY a man will make it to the celestial kingdom if he is watching pornography and no way he will make it unless he embodies the celestial mentality and maturity of spirit...then multiple wives loses its earthy appeal because it will not be something that goes through the mind of a celestial being.
No, men, and women, need to avoid it. However, in the animal kingdom, which humans are part, created by the same God, men seek mates and females lure mates. Why do women shave their bodies and put on makeup, because it makes them feel better? No, they do it to attract the best possible mate, or hold onto him. Porn capitalizes on the desire of men to desire attractive, fertile, women and, like a fishing lure to a fish, use these desires against the male. Women too like porn but, ironically, are more into the types that involve explicit romantic scenes (same thing as men, but for slightly different reasons). There are quite detailed theories in evolutionary psychology for that.

As for polygamy, I remember a Muslim imam giving a talk to men to avoid immoral women and he asked what man in his right mind would sacrifice an eternity with hundreds of black-eyed white women for a few moments with an immoral woman. I have actually heard people in Church make similar statements in regards to eternal polygamy and increase. I think it is a good point but the porn itself is dragging people away from the necessary commandment to marry and make a bunch of kids in this life.
In the animal world, it's the often the males that attract a mate and have vibrant colors and elaborate dances and courting rituals. The male wants to be the best to attract any female who would be willing to carry his offspring because that is what makes him a proud male.

Humans don't operate quite the same. I observe the males dressing poorly and gaining weight and not working out or grooming but simply sitting back and putting unreal expectations on women to make them jump through hoops and simply throw money at them (if they have it). Women dress and act and groom the way they do because our society has its priorities and roles reversed.

Women are the ones who bear children yet are expected to reach an unreal and often very very damaging "sex" appeal. Womens bodies are not mean to be the way media portrays them to be. And after children, the body changes and isint it's youthful state but it has been tried and tested and passed but will not be the same.

Men should honor a woman who bears his children and respect her ability to do so instead of retaining his stupid programmed ideas of what a woman is. A woman is not a male pleasurer, any more than men would want to simply be sex appral and pleasure for women.

A woman is a vessel for life and a mother to children and a woman is a talented person who wants to be appreciated for not only her abilities to grow children but her talents and skills, not her looks.

This world has everybody all messed up and it's hurting everyone. So, anyone who prescribes to the "world" mentality will certainly not be doing things right.

A man is not programmed to look at porn, he just likes it. But a real man doesn't sit back and watch, he goes and gets. That's why I say men who sit back and watch porn either at home or at a club or a movie etc, are weak. Why pay a ton of money to watch fake women dance when you can spend less and have a real woman who is your partner and you can actually experience and can have your own children?

Women are programmed to have children by the best males, so when a woman cheats on her husband because he is getting older and less attractive or starts balding or loses his job, do you excuse them as well by stating they are programmed to do it. We each male and female are naturally programmed to be sinful. We can each succumb to our natural state or we can live by principles that govern our lives and be powerful instead of victims to our natural instincts and animal nature.

Ahh, that's attractive! A person who is powerful and in control and isint weak succumbing to all the weakness of flesh claiming they can't help it or making other excuses. But hey, that's me and I live by principles and feel I can stand on my own two feet and speak for myself without hiding behind shame of the flesh. We all need to stop making excuses for bad behavior and start learning how to overcome the flesh and the world and live with a purpose other than to be weak and victims of ourselves.

God made us imperfect so we could learn to do this, if we desire. Most will not choose this and thus most will not make it to the celestial kingdom. "Few there will be who will make it".

I understand what you are saying Fiannan, and I appreciate you explaining why you take the angle you do about porn. Putting focus on the right and true expressions and experiences between the genders certainly does help to put porn and other cheaper distractions into the proper place. I think your wording and perspective is sometimes mistaken for your advocating for porn to some degree and you lack the real time consequences it brings to males and females which also comes accross as being "unfeeling" or naive about the psychological damage of porn. Maybe if you mentioned those things, people could see your good intentions more.

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Sirocco
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Sirocco »

Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .

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Melissa
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Melissa »

Sirocco wrote:Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .
I don't think many really like reality. Reality sucks and is hard. But taking the easy path doesn't lead to greatness.

Porn is not a substitute for a warm body. Porn is a deviation that most often involves one loving on themselves. We are meant to get married and that is where we learn so much and can grow and learn and change. Clicking the screen to the next porn shot is not growth.

Some will not marry in this life but those that are capable of marrying should. There is someone for everyone! I don't know how old you are and I myself have been out of the dating scene for 10 years so don't know what it's like these days. This generation is some of the dumbest and most selfish but it's also supposed to be some of the greatest. Just have to get out of the world thinking and find someone just as weird and quirky as you ;)
That's what the rest of us did.

freedomforall
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by freedomforall »

If porn were the same as a cesspool. how many people would engage in it then?

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Sirocco
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Sirocco »

Melissa wrote:
Sirocco wrote:Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .
I don't think many really like reality. Reality sucks and is hard. But taking the easy path doesn't lead to greatness.

Porn is not a substitute for a warm body. Porn is a deviation that most often involves one loving on themselves. We are meant to get married and that is where we learn so much and can grow and learn and change. Clicking the screen to the next porn shot is not growth.

Some will not marry in this life but those that are capable of marrying should. There is someone for everyone! I don't know how old you are and I myself have been out of the dating scene for 10 years so don't know what it's like these days. This generation is some of the dumbest and most selfish but it's also supposed to be some of the greatest. Just have to get out of the world thinking and find someone just as weird and quirky as you ;)
That's what the rest of us did.
I'm 28 now, and yes I agree it is no substitute.

freedomforall
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by freedomforall »

Sirocco wrote:
Melissa wrote:
Sirocco wrote:Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .
I don't think many really like reality. Reality sucks and is hard. But taking the easy path doesn't lead to greatness.

Porn is not a substitute for a warm body. Porn is a deviation that most often involves one loving on themselves. We are meant to get married and that is where we learn so much and can grow and learn and change. Clicking the screen to the next porn shot is not growth.

Some will not marry in this life but those that are capable of marrying should. There is someone for everyone! I don't know how old you are and I myself have been out of the dating scene for 10 years so don't know what it's like these days. This generation is some of the dumbest and most selfish but it's also supposed to be some of the greatest. Just have to get out of the world thinking and find someone just as weird and quirky as you ;)
That's what the rest of us did.
I'm 28 now, and yes I agree it is no substitute.
I was 28 once, 41 years ago. Time sure is fun when you have flies. Or is it "Flies are fun when you have the time?" Or "time involves having flies for fun" "Flies, in time, lose their fun." Oh, well, there must be some correct wording. But time flies and I miss the fun.

Fiannan
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Fiannan »

Sirocco wrote:Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .
You only have to find one woman, just one, that makes you happy.

As for this whole pornography debate today, with so many people substituting porn for real relationships, isn't that akin to a woman skipping marriage and children and substituting a bunch of cats instead?

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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Spider »

Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.

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Sirocco
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Sirocco »

Spider wrote:Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.
I would argue sex with different people loses its excitement after awhile.

Fiannan
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Fiannan »

Sirocco wrote:
Spider wrote:Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.
I would argue sex with different people loses its excitement after awhile.
I think there are a variety of reasons why people access porn. What you said has merit. There are also men whose wives consider sex once a month a chore but the man loves her so turns to porn rather than cheat on her. There are others who like the taboo associated with it. There are still others who use it because they are not in a relationship.Then again I have heard of men looking at porn before a major workout - sublimating the sex drive they build up into weight training.

In regards to women, there are those who are not fulfilled in their sex life for one reason or another so they turn to porn for substitute romance (generally viewing couple or lesbian channels). Other women use porn to switch their minds into a sexual mood before a date night with the husband, or just to push out worries and anxieties from their minds so they can engage in sex with their husband. And yes, there are those who like the taboo of porn.

Most people who access porn are not addicts, that is my main point.

freedomforall
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by freedomforall »

Fiannan wrote:
Sirocco wrote:
Spider wrote:Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.
I would argue sex with different people loses its excitement after awhile.
I think there are a variety of reasons why people access porn. What you said has merit. There are also men whose wives consider sex once a month a chore but the man loves her so turns to porn rather than cheat on her. There are others who like the taboo associated with it. There are still others who use it because they are not in a relationship.Then again I have heard of men looking at porn before a major workout - sublimating the sex drive they build up into weight training.

In regards to women, there are those who are not fulfilled in their sex life for one reason or another so they turn to porn for substitute romance (generally viewing couple or lesbian channels). Other women use porn to switch their minds into a sexual mood before a date night with the husband, or just to push out worries and anxieties from their minds so they can engage in sex with their husband. And yes, there are those who like the taboo of porn.

Most people who access porn are not addicts, that is my main point.
Does all this reasoning make porn okay somehow?

Fiannan
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Fiannan »

freedomforall wrote:
Fiannan wrote:
Sirocco wrote:
Spider wrote:Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.
I would argue sex with different people loses its excitement after awhile.
I think there are a variety of reasons why people access porn. What you said has merit. There are also men whose wives consider sex once a month a chore but the man loves her so turns to porn rather than cheat on her. There are others who like the taboo associated with it. There are still others who use it because they are not in a relationship.Then again I have heard of men looking at porn before a major workout - sublimating the sex drive they build up into weight training.

In regards to women, there are those who are not fulfilled in their sex life for one reason or another so they turn to porn for substitute romance (generally viewing couple or lesbian channels). Other women use porn to switch their minds into a sexual mood before a date night with the husband, or just to push out worries and anxieties from their minds so they can engage in sex with their husband. And yes, there are those who like the taboo of porn.

Most people who access porn are not addicts, that is my main point.
Does all this reasoning make porn okay somehow?
No it does not. It merely offers and explanation as to why most people who access porn do so. They are not addicts for the most part. Of course it is an immoral practice, but not psychological for maybe 95% of people engaged in it. This is not to say it is good, it isn't. One could see it as enticing people to engage in behaviors they might never have considered had they not viewed porn, or some people might sublimate their drives to find a mate and reproduce into porn instead (look at Japan).

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Sirocco
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Sirocco »

Yes I have to admit having met someone I feel great attraction towards, love I guess, feels terrible.
Nothing about this is good, I was told it would be good, not full of nervousness and sad thoughts.
I understand Japan now lol

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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by BruceRGilbert »

I wish to speak very clearly and plainly about this "spiritual" disease. Speaking in such terms requires a clear definition as to what is "spiritual." The "consciousness" within us is comprised of "thoughts" and "feelings." They are scripturally ascribed as originating from our "mind" and "heart." A preponderance of these terms will yield them as either "enlightened" and "nurtured" or, conversely, "darkened" and "emptied." Being that "light," (and certainly one can make a study of its importance and process by which it is obtained,) has three "modes" of existence - radiated (sourced,) reflected (borrowed) or absorbed (stolen,) it is apparent that pornography is involved in the later . . . the stealing or absorption of light. It is darkness and it will diminish "consciousness." This means that those who continue to bathe in it are going to be devoid of "light" . . . intelligence . . . spirit and their feelings are going to be "emptied." It changes "making love" into "having sex." It takes the "spirit" out of the "body," leaving nothing but an empty shell as an object of lust.

One must learn how to school and control their thoughts and their feelings. The mastery over self is the first lesson of any disciple of Christ.

simpleton
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by simpleton »

Very easy to understand, not complicated at all.

"and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.
The Holy Ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth; and thy dominion shall be an everlasting dominion, and without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever...
The above will not happen to porn addicts...
And also: " But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart".

So just by looking/lusting we become adulterers and by having the spirit of adultery, the Spirit of God absolutely cannot abide in us, unless we repent completely....

I'll never forget the story back in the early days of the church where a missionary was preaching the gospel in a building/church and an unruly fellow kept asking for sign. The missionary quoted the bible where it says that "an adulterous generation seeketh a sign" So then says the missionary " you must be an adulterer" , another fellow stands up and said " he is for we caught him in the act".... he later repented and joined the church....

simpleton
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by simpleton »

Here ya go...

Joseph Smith:
When I was preaching in Philadelphia, a Quaker called out for a sign. I told him to be still. After the sermon, he again asked for a sign. I told the congregation the man was an adulterer; that a wicked and adulterous generation seeketh after a sign; and that the Lord had said to me in a revelation, that any man who wanted a sign was an adulterous person. 'It is true,' cried one, 'for I caught him in the very act,' which the man afterwards confessed when he was baptized." (Teachings, p. 278.)

Fiannan
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Fiannan »

So just by looking/lusting we become adulterers and by having the spirit of adulter...
Jesus was a Jew speaking to Jews. Jews do not interpret the word "lust" quite the same way that we have come to think of it today in the "Christian" world. To truly lust means you covet, contemplate and scheme in your mind (heart) to have that person. In this way a Jewish woman could never covet a married man because that man could also marry her in God's plan for eternal marriage. However, a man who looked at a single or married woman and wanted to have her just for fun (thus violating the rights of her father if she is single, or her husband if married) was guilty of what Jesus was talking about.

BackBlast
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by BackBlast »

Melissa, you made many good points. I have a few quibbles.
Melissa wrote: January 1st, 2017, 10:05 am In the animal world, it's the often the males that attract a mate and have vibrant colors and elaborate dances and courting rituals. The male wants to be the best to attract any female who would be willing to carry his offspring because that is what makes him a proud male.

Humans don't operate quite the same. I observe the males dressing poorly and gaining weight and not working out or grooming but simply sitting back and putting unreal expectations on women to make them jump through hoops and simply throw money at them (if they have it). Women dress and act and groom the way they do because our society has its priorities and roles reversed.
Generally I disagree that men are suppose to be like peacocks in the manner you seem to suggest (via looks). Men are peacocks, but not generally with their bodies/looks/appearance. It's their possessions or marks of affluence. Among worldly, it's cars, jobs, earning power or poential, houses. Among more spiritually minded in the church it's being an RM, maybe attending BYU, occasionally callings, your mission callings, there's always some mark of affluence. This helps a woman understand a man will be able to fulfill his role as a provider - there is definitely a natural draw.
Women are the ones who bear children yet are expected to reach an unreal and often very very damaging "sex" appeal. Womens bodies are not mean to be the way media portrays them to be. And after children, the body changes and isint it's youthful state but it has been tried and tested and passed but will not be the same.

Men should honor a woman who bears his children and respect her ability to do so instead of retaining his stupid programmed ideas of what a woman is. A woman is not a male pleasurer, any more than men would want to simply be sex appral and pleasure for women.

A woman is a vessel for life and a mother to children and a woman is a talented person who wants to be appreciated for not only her abilities to grow children but her talents and skills, not just her looks.
Fixed it for you. I have never known a woman who doesn't care about her looks. I've have known some that pretend they don't care, but they still do. Even when men aren't involved at all, women will often still judge each other by looks. Even my two and three year old girls who have little exposure to modern media treasure complements about how they look.

I mostly agree with the rest of your point. I think it's very hard on women to have their bodies change, the world makes this worse but it is likely to happen to some extent anyway. Some tough humbling lessons there for the obedient, and challenges for a husband to show his love through some mists of self-doubt from those changes.
A man is not programmed to look at porn, he just likes it. But a real man doesn't sit back and watch, he goes and gets. That's why I say men who sit back and watch porn either at home or at a club or a movie etc, are weak. Why pay a ton of money to watch fake women dance when you can spend less and have a real woman who is your partner and you can actually experience and can have your own children?
You are appealing to a man's desire for wealth here. I'd argue that those women idols are cheap, not expensive. And this is one of the draws. If you include time, caring for another's happiness, protection, worry, and most especially changes required in yourself to make someone else happy (humility!) - a real women is very VERY expensive relative to a convenient fling, whore, or image. Which can be disposed of with relative ease once she is inconvenient. One of those cases where you get what you pay for x1000.

Gage
captain of 100
Posts: 702

Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Gage »

And after children, the body changes and isint it's youthful state but it has been tried and tested and passed but will not be the same.
Men should honor a woman who bears his children and respect her ability to do so instead of retaining his stupid programmed ideas of what a woman is.


Ok so all these women that you see pics posted in bikinis 6 days after giving birth screaming look at me, look at me I am skinny again- this is done because of men and their stupid programming. Gotcha.

Fiannan
Level 34 Illuminated
Posts: 12983

Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Post by Fiannan »

Gage wrote: April 20th, 2017, 9:30 am And after children, the body changes and isint it's youthful state but it has been tried and tested and passed but will not be the same.
Men should honor a woman who bears his children and respect her ability to do so instead of retaining his stupid programmed ideas of what a woman is.


Ok so all these women that you see pics posted in bikinis 6 days after giving birth screaming look at me, look at me I am skinny again- this is done because of men and their stupid programming. Gotcha.
Men are programmed to see certain looks as attractive as are women. And women getting in shape after birth is a good thing. Think the afterlife might be as this man envisions?

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