Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

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Rachael
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Rachael »

/:)
Fiannan wrote:
Rachael wrote::ymhug: O' you know I'm self absorbed sometimes and think it's all about me sometimes. That's probably worse-er than "M", being ASSuming.

So "Chin up" Mormon Kid, there are worse species of humanity than you. You seem like a wonderful person.
Don't you think the best way to get someone not to do something is to tell them that what they are doing is next to Murder? =)) =)) =))
Not really, I think it's a good way to make them feel extreme guilt, maybe even suicidal when they are a person of character that has a conscious but struggle to overcome. Sociopaths don't have this burden. They don't have a conscious that beats them up for killing kittens and puppies and maybe much worse later. And will we compare a kid going through a normal pubescence stage that inherently causes struggles, plus the impulsivity of that stage of development on that level? Of a murderer?

No, let's encourage this kid to expose his every private moments, like we all have had, shout it from the rooftops, so he can brought to repentance, when he was probably never "tempted" to commit such "heinous sins" before his endocrine system revved up when he hit puberty. If you want to twist some views/mental health that even Dr. Phil can't fix, just tell MK to read the Miracle of Forgiveness.

Lizzy60
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Lizzy60 »

Spider wrote:
JustAMormonGuy wrote:Hello, I am 13 years old and am struggling with masturbation.
I really want to repent and forsake my sins but I am worried that my bishop will tell my parents. I can handle telling my bishop and ive already confessed openly to God but I don't want my parents to know.


Thank you all For you're help.


-Mormon Kid-
Your confession will be confidential. Your Bishop will only tell your parents with your permission.
This is not true. It depends on the bishop.

butterfly
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by butterfly »

Tell your bishop only if you think it will help you feel better.

But remember that forgiveness comes from the Savior- not your bishop. Your bishop should act as a signpost pointing to the Savior, but if you know how to go to the Savior directly, then you can bypass the bishop.


And where's Zionminded and his professional opinion that masturbation in and of itself is not a sin? (He's a therapist and typically says that masturbation is a normal part of puberty and is only a problem if it becomes a maladaptive behavior).

davedan
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by davedan »

No, but he will encourage YOU to tell them so they can help you.

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Rachael
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Rachael »

braingrunt wrote:justamormonguy
you may have noticed, not everyone on here is going to give you Sunday School answers, to put it mildly. But, don't let anyone talk you out of what you feel you should do, unless you are really convinced by their advice without fear or justification; and in general take care around here if you want to stay in the mainstream ;)

My thoughts are, that fear is a sign that your heart isn't right, and facing your fears along with the potential consequences--even consequences meted out by imperfect men who can't really forgive or condemn--tests and proves in a tangible way whether you are really humble before Christ. But, just as a warning from my experience, even after you've really humbled yourself, change does not necessarily come easily; and I encourage you to take any and all advice, even from those out of the mainstream, to keep good cheer.
MK can humble himself before Christ without putting an intermediary between himself and Christ. Imperfect men cannot forgive or condemn, I agree, but thinking they have such powers, can mess up a young, impressionable mind. I loved the rest of your post fwiw.

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Robin Hood
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Robin Hood »

Rachael wrote:
braingrunt wrote:justamormonguy
you may have noticed, not everyone on here is going to give you Sunday School answers, to put it mildly. But, don't let anyone talk you out of what you feel you should do, unless you are really convinced by their advice without fear or justification; and in general take care around here if you want to stay in the mainstream ;)

My thoughts are, that fear is a sign that your heart isn't right, and facing your fears along with the potential consequences--even consequences meted out by imperfect men who can't really forgive or condemn--tests and proves in a tangible way whether you are really humble before Christ. But, just as a warning from my experience, even after you've really humbled yourself, change does not necessarily come easily; and I encourage you to take any and all advice, even from those out of the mainstream, to keep good cheer.
MK can humble himself before Christ without putting an intermediary between himself and Christ. Imperfect men cannot forgive or condemn, I agree, but thinking they have such powers, can mess up a young, impressionable mind. I loved the rest of your post fwiw.
Rachael, a bishop does not forgive. He has no power to do that.
But he can and does help in a situation like this.
As a serving bishop myself I have had young men come to me about this issue. As a bishop you never know what you're going to be faced with on a sunday morning; I get a knot in my stomach every week!
I give a young man the advice I did above (the soccer game), tell him I'm here for him to speak to, give him some coping strategies, and tell him I'll check in with him on a regular basis. This tends to help. Just having someone on their side seems to give them confidence.
So far it has been a very successful approach.

I never tell the parents if he doesn't want them to know.

freedomforall
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by freedomforall »

braingrunt wrote:justamormonguy
you may have noticed, not everyone on here is going to give you Sunday School answers, to put it mildly. But, don't let anyone talk you out of what you feel you should do, unless you are really convinced by their advice without fear or justification; and in general take care around here if you want to stay in the mainstream ;)

My thoughts are, that fear is a sign that your heart isn't right, and facing your fears along with the potential consequences--even consequences meted out by imperfect men who can't really forgive or condemn--tests and proves in a tangible way whether you are really humble before Christ. But, just as a warning from my experience, even after you've really humbled yourself, change does not necessarily come easily; and I encourage you to take any and all advice, even from those out of the mainstream, to keep good cheer.
Your opinion does not corroborate scripture or vice versa.
Read Mosiah 26:29. It's in a post above. BTW, Christ uses imperfect men in his church from nursery workers all the way up to prophet. He even used imperfect men as his apostles during his ministry. He used an imperfect man to translate the Book of Mormon. So you see, if all imperfect people were removed from the church, there would be no church. I'm sure it was an imperfect man that baptized you, and an imperfect man to ordain you...or how about the imperfect man that called upon God to present you with a Patriarchal blessing?
So continually deriding church leaders, including Bishops, by making a point of how imperfect they all are... is a complete strawman. The only perfect person was Jesus Christ. Had he sinned just once, we all would be destined to go to hell, with no possibility of redemption.

Mosiah 2:21
21 I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may live and move and do according to your own will, and even supporting you from one moment to another—I say, if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants.

Men under God can also condemn. Remember Abinidi, Moses, Nephi, Moroni, Lehi...and a host of others? It's in the book.

freedomforall
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by freedomforall »

Fiannan wrote:
Rachael wrote::ymhug: O' you know I'm self absorbed sometimes and think it's all about me sometimes. That's probably worse-er than "M", being ASSuming.

So "Chin up" Mormon Kid, there are worse species of humanity than you. You seem like a wonderful person.
Don't you think the best way to get someone not to do something is to tell them that what they are doing is next to Murder? =)) =)) =))
James 2:10,11
10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
11 For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.

So you see, that to be free of sin is to not sin at all...to keep all of the commandments all of the time. By breaking one commandment, we are guilty of breaking all commandments. This is why we need a Savior in the first place. All it takes is one(1) sin to keep us out of God's presence. For the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.

Doctrine and Covenants 1:31
31 For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance; See also: Alma 45:16

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Obrien
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Obrien »

freedomforall wrote:
Fiannan wrote:
Rachael wrote::ymhug: O' you know I'm self absorbed sometimes and think it's all about me sometimes. That's probably worse-er than "M", being ASSuming.

So "Chin up" Mormon Kid, there are worse species of humanity than you. You seem like a wonderful person.
Don't you think the best way to get someone not to do something is to tell them that what they are doing is next to Murder? =)) =)) =))
James 2:10,11
10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
11 For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.

So you see, that to be free of sin is to not sin at all...to keep all of the commandments all of the time. By breaking one commandment, we are guilty of breaking all commandments. This is why we need a Savior in the first place. All it takes is one(1) sin to keep us out of God's presence. For the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.

Doctrine and Covenants 1:31
31 For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance; See also: Alma 45:16
FFA - I am sure you are well intentioned, but this ^^^ is twisting the intent of the scripture. You write 7 sentences, several of them quotes from scripture, telling the kid he is guilty of breaking the entire law, and make 1 lukewarm statement about the need of a Saviour. You never aver that the Saviour CAN to cleanse everyone from ANY sin. Your emphasis is all wrong for a born again Christ follower.

Can you please point me to the commandment that says "Thou shalt not masturbate"?

Because you are at a different stage of life than a 13 year old, perhaps this particular proclivity is not one you struggle with. A younger man may. To tell him he is guilty of breaking the entire law is extreme. Remind him to repent, rather than condemning him.

Fiannan
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Fiannan »

davedan wrote:No, but he will encourage YOU to tell them so they can help you.
I have said these are the things that you tell a bishop:

Have you stolen anything?
Have you bullied someone?
Have you lied to hurt someone?
Have you had sex with someone?

Pretty much anything beyond that is between you and God.

zionminded
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by zionminded »

JustAMormonGuy wrote:Hello, I am 13 years old and am struggling with masturbation.
I really want to repent and forsake my sins but I am worried that my bishop will tell my parents. I can handle telling my bishop and ive already confessed openly to God but I don't want my parents to know.


Thank you all For you're help.


-Mormon Kid-
He shouldn't, but if your parents are normal, the will understand. Nearly every young man will do this, some over their lifetime. It can be normal, excessive, abnormal, or harmful, like anything.

I would suggest getting a mental health counselor to help you, in addition to uour bishop. You may find that your doing great !

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ajax
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by ajax »

zionminded wrote:
I would suggest getting a mental health counselor to help you,
Please don't.

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Rachael
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Rachael »

freedomforall wrote:
Fiannan wrote:
Rachael wrote::ymhug: O' you know I'm self absorbed sometimes and think it's all about me sometimes. That's probably worse-er than "M", being ASSuming.

So "Chin up" Mormon Kid, there are worse species of humanity than you. You seem like a wonderful person.
Don't you think the best way to get someone not to do something is to tell them that what they are doing is next to Murder? =)) =)) =))
James 2:10,11
10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
11 For he that said, Do not commit adultery, said also, Do not kill. Now if thou commit no adultery, yet if thou kill, thou art become a transgressor of the law.

So you see, that to be free of sin is to not sin at all...to keep all of the commandments all of the time. By breaking one commandment, we are guilty of breaking all commandments. This is why we need a Savior in the first place. All it takes is one(1) sin to keep us out of God's presence. For the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.

Doctrine and Covenants 1:31
31 For I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance; See also: Alma 45:16
See also: 2Cor 5:
"1: For we know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. 2: For in this we groan, earnestly desiring to be clothed upon with our house which is from heaven: 3: If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked. 4: For we that are in this tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life...

...20: Now then we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God did beseech you by us: we pray you in Christ's stead, be ye reconciled to God. 21For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.

Mormonkid, This is how you become perfect. You can't "be thou perfect like your Father in heaven is" on your own without using God's gift of grace. That's why it's called a gift. Grab it. That's the good news. Gospel literally means "good news". If you think it means bad news in certain aspects, your thinking has probably been twisted by doctrine of men mingled with Scripture. Mine sure was, and I don't want you to have to suffer til you're almost 50 to figure this out.
Last edited by Rachael on November 9th, 2016, 9:36 am, edited 1 time in total.

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ajax
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by ajax »

Don't see your Bishop, don't talk to your parents, don't see a counselor.

Your little factory is pumping and your manhood will regularly cry out for release. And release is inevitable, whether consciously or in your dreams. You're learning how your own body works and feels. This is all normal to growing up. Enjoy life and don't let the smoothed faced religionists make you feel like the devil.

Either that or stop using soap in the shower.

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Robin Hood
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Robin Hood »

ajax wrote:Don't see your Bishop, don't talk to your parents, don't see a counselor.

Your little factory is pumping and your manhood will regularly cry out for release. And release is inevitable, whether consciously or in your dreams. You're learning how your own body works and feels. This is all normal to growing up. Enjoy life and don't let the smoothed faced religionists make you feel like the devil.

Either that or stop using soap in the shower.
I believe this is poor advice.
It is true that there is a "little factory". However, as with all factories, the more you use them the more they produce.

Fiannan
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Fiannan »

Robin Hood wrote:
ajax wrote:Don't see your Bishop, don't talk to your parents, don't see a counselor.

Your little factory is pumping and your manhood will regularly cry out for release. And release is inevitable, whether consciously or in your dreams. You're learning how your own body works and feels. This is all normal to growing up. Enjoy life and don't let the smoothed faced religionists make you feel like the devil.

Either that or stop using soap in the shower.
I believe this is poor advice.
It is true that there is a "little factory". However, as with all factories, the more you use them the more they produce.
There is the concept of moderation in all things however. If the youth is troubled by constantly being obsessed with doing this then he may need to see someone. However, ironically, the more one focuses on a practice the more it becomes appealing - i.e. on fast Sunday you cannot stop thinking about food.

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ajax
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by ajax »

Robin Hood wrote:
ajax wrote:Don't see your Bishop, don't talk to your parents, don't see a counselor.

Your little factory is pumping and your manhood will regularly cry out for release. And release is inevitable, whether consciously or in your dreams. You're learning how your own body works and feels. This is all normal to growing up. Enjoy life and don't let the smoothed faced religionists make you feel like the devil.

Either that or stop using soap in the shower.
I believe this is poor advice.
It is true that there is a "little factory". However, as with all factories, the more you use them the more they produce.
Much better than shaming them and encouraging them to talk to adult strangers about their private erections and ejaculations and fretting over sin and worthiness of said issues.

And much better (imo) than likening it unto a soccer match, where as long as your winning, your fine. So 18 is cool as long as he scores 19? What if he ties or loses. Well then $hit! Back to square one. Instead, tell them they are not sinners or evil and are naturally growing and discovering and leave 'em be.

Worked charms for my adult boys.

(I fretted about being an evil SOB while growing up because of this and the church constantly hammering it)

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Robin Hood
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by Robin Hood »

ajax wrote:
Robin Hood wrote:
ajax wrote:Don't see your Bishop, don't talk to your parents, don't see a counselor.

Your little factory is pumping and your manhood will regularly cry out for release. And release is inevitable, whether consciously or in your dreams. You're learning how your own body works and feels. This is all normal to growing up. Enjoy life and don't let the smoothed faced religionists make you feel like the devil.

Either that or stop using soap in the shower.
I believe this is poor advice.
It is true that there is a "little factory". However, as with all factories, the more you use them the more they produce.
Much better than shaming them and encouraging them to talk to adult strangers about their private erections and ejaculations and fretting over sin and worthiness of said issues.

And much better (imo) than likening it unto a soccer match, where as long as your winning, your fine. So 18 is cool as long as he scores 19? What if he ties or loses. Well then $hit! Back to square one. Instead, tell them they are not sinners or evil and are naturally growing and discovering and leave 'em be.

Worked charms for my adult boys.

(I fretted about being an evil SOB while growing up because of this and the church constantly hammering it)
I'm sorry Ajax, but you clearly don't know what you're talking about.

Here's a question for you. Is masturbation a sin?
Now, before you answer that, think about what is going through a young man's mind when he is involved in this.
Is he lusting? There's your answer.

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ajax
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by ajax »

Maybe, maybe not. I don't think it rises to the level of shaming and needing to see a Bishop.

What is going through a young man's mind when he is not involved in this? Probably the same thing. So let's get on him because he touches his wang while having these thoughts? Should he come to you because he had a wet dream? Those can be pretty explicit.

Shaming kids for growing up, and having them sit behind closed doors talking to an adult male stranger is the greater sin imo. Borders on criminal. It needs to end, full stop. Leave the kids alone. It is a personal and perhaps family issue only. The Bishops should always deflect in that direction, and not discipline them in any way through the withholding of doing things at church.

braingrunt
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by braingrunt »

Some of you guys are misrepresenting Boyd K Packer, Spencer W Kimball, and Miracle of Forgiveness; "sin second to murder and whatnot". Here are some ACTUAL quotes:
BKP wrote: First, I want you to know this. If you are struggling with this temptation and perhaps you have not quite been able to resist, the Lord still loves you. It is not anything so wicked nor is it a transgression so great that the Lord would reject you because of it, but it can quickly lead to that kind of transgression. It is not pleasing to the Lord, nor is it pleasing to you. It does not make you feel worthy or clean.
Miracle of Forgiveness wrote: While we should not regard this weakness as the heinous sin which some other sexual practices are, it is
of itself bad enough to require sincere repentance. What is more, it too often leads to grievous sin
So, to y'all, quit exagerrating and/or pulling stuff out of thin air. They are saying it's not earthshaking, but it can lead to bigger troubles and should be repented of. I agree with them.

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markharr
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by markharr »

Unless you do your own laundry. I'm willing to bet that at least one of your parents knows anyway.

e-eye2.0
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by e-eye2.0 »

Robin Hood wrote:
ajax wrote:Don't see your Bishop, don't talk to your parents, don't see a counselor.

Your little factory is pumping and your manhood will regularly cry out for release. And release is inevitable, whether consciously or in your dreams. You're learning how your own body works and feels. This is all normal to growing up. Enjoy life and don't let the smoothed faced religionists make you feel like the devil.

Either that or stop using soap in the shower.
I believe this is poor advice.
It is true that there is a "little factory". However, as with all factories, the more you use them the more they produce.
Agreed - really poor advice.

While the kid is at it maybe he should ask ajax what beer is best if he goes to a party and wants to let loose.

The natural man is going to have these desires and yes it's natural to be attracted to the opposite sex and have these feelings. In this life we are to overcome the natural man and if you can do so at a young age it will be that much more beneficial as you get older and potentially much easier. Nobody is making anybody feel like the devil but when we sin we draw ourselves away from God. We have all been blessed with the opportunity to repent and as long as we are trying and continue to repent we are on the right track. I praise kids who are growing up today in such a world that is so difficult - the youth today surely were some of the most noble in the pre-existence to be trusted and sent down in times such as these prior to the return of the Savior.

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TrueIntent
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by TrueIntent »

Hey Mormon kid! What does the spirit tell you to do? Some bishop's may or may not keep it confidential...but just follow the spirit. HEy Obrien, I had the type of parent that would publicly make fun of me in front of the rest of the family if I had disclosed this type of thing to my parents. Soooooo...if you have loving parents sure. But just follow the spirit....it will tell you what to do.

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TrueIntent
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by TrueIntent »

Robin Hood wrote:
ajax wrote:
Robin Hood wrote:
ajax wrote:Don't see your Bishop, don't talk to your parents, don't see a counselor.

Your little factory is pumping and your manhood will regularly cry out for release. And release is inevitable, whether consciously or in your dreams. You're learning how your own body works and feels. This is all normal to growing up. Enjoy life and don't let the smoothed faced religionists make you feel like the devil.

Either that or stop using soap in the shower.
I believe this is poor advice.
It is true that there is a "little factory". However, as with all factories, the more you use them the more they produce.
Much better than shaming them and encouraging them to talk to adult strangers about their private erections and ejaculations and fretting over sin and worthiness of said issues.

And much better (imo) than likening it unto a soccer match, where as long as your winning, your fine. So 18 is cool as long as he scores 19? What if he ties or loses. Well then $hit! Back to square one. Instead, tell them they are not sinners or evil and are naturally growing and discovering and leave 'em be.

Worked charms for my adult boys.

(I fretted about being an evil SOB while growing up because of this and the church constantly hammering it)
I'm sorry Ajax, but you clearly don't know what you're talking about.

Here's a question for you. Is masturbation a sin?
Now, before you answer that, think about what is going through a young man's mind when he is involved in this.
Is he lusting? There's your answer.

Babies do it in the womb! Little children do it...then become teenagers and adults and still do it. You tell me....is it a sin? And if it is....what is the consequence and what should be their punishment? Also, to the "lust" part, who on the face of the planet hasn't lusted??????? Cast the first stone. I think a better question is, Robinhood, have you ever masterbated?

braingrunt
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Post by braingrunt »

And if he had, what exactly would that show?

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