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I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 5

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Please forgive me, it has been a long time since I have been on.

My son attempted suicide last week, and then was released from the hospital. However, we can not reach him and his wife received another note today.

PLEASE please please pray for him. His name is Ben Johnston.

Thank you.
Last edited by Songbird on Sun Mar 04, 2012 8:06 pm, edited 5 times in total.
Songbird
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit

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Songbird, you both have my prayers. Sincerely.
Rand
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit

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Prayers, sent your way songbird. So Sorry to hear this. I hope everything is well with him.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit

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Songbird, your son Ben is in my prayers. As are you. Sometimes when all seems lost, we feel that all we can do is pray, when really it is the most powerful thing we can do. The prayers of a righteous mother availith much.
Deborah000
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit

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Your son is in my prayers as are you and your family. I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. Keep strong and know that HF is watching over him and hears our prayers.
"Mormonism is the pure doctrine of Jesus Christ; of which I myself am not ashamed." Joseph Smith
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit>> Update

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Oh dear,

I was about 300 hundred miles away, when I found out that Ben had made a second attempt the night before and was really bad yesterday morning. Thankfully, his father "heard something" in the room upstairs where Ben was. He went to check, and I will spare the details. He tried to get Ben up. Very difficult since he weighs 300+ pounds and get him into the shower. They had to call 911 and get him to the hospital. He was all day in the hospital. I got there at 5:00 pm.He was still groggy but alive. He is soooooooo sad. He just does not want to live. They transferred him to another facility. A Behavioral Health place. Visiting hours are only 2 days a week for an hour. I am sure he is not out of the woods yet and wont be for a long time. Now I am worried about his physical state, although the doctors seem to think he came through it with no damage. I am worried about brain damage, but that is just me. I am sure they will continue to "assess" him.

For now, I am planning to stay. It will be a long stay, but again, I don't feel good about leaving. Bad enough that I haven't been here for the two crisis that happened already. I am not sure what I will do with all my spare time. If I had thought, I would have brought my sewing machine and worked on my grand daughter's quilt! I will figure something out.

I need a place to stay, so I will try to find something today. If any of you have any ideas, please share them. I think I will go to the hospital and see if they have something for people who are from out of town, or have an arrangement for out of town people. We will see.

Your prayers, love and notes have lifted me up. I really appreciate them. Keep them coming! I am so sad and worried.

Thanks again for your prayers in our behalf.

Songbird
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update

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Oh my gosh, Songbird! I am so sorry you are going through this again. I will be praying for you and your son. I wish I had some advice, but just know that I'm thinking of you. You are doing all that you can.
"We can seek for the bad in others. Or we can... extend to others the understanding, fairness, and forgiveness we so desperately desire for ourselves. It is our choice; for whatever we seek, that we will certainly find."
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update

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So very sorry, Songbird. I'm praying for you and your son. As for a place to stay, most hospitals that are big enough to have a mental/behavioral health unit, also have a 'guest house' on campus for out of towners who are immediate family members or caretakers. There might be a small fee, but it is still cheaper than a hotel.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update

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I am so sorry to hear what you are going through with your son. My prayers are with you and your family. I'm sure the hospital can give you some ideas on where to stay nearby.
"Mormonism is the pure doctrine of Jesus Christ; of which I myself am not ashamed." Joseph Smith
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update

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Although I had not responded to the thread, you and your son and the rest of your family have been in my thoughts and prayers.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update

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Songbird,

I am so sorry to hear about all this. I have another friend here in my ward who is going through something very similar with her 21 year old son. These are hard, hard times and we will pray for you and Ben. As for a place to stay, you might try calling the local Bishop or RS president down there and ask if a member has a spare room you could stay in. I know in our ward, we have done that many times with out-of-town members (for a variety of reasons) - so it would sure be worth a phone call or two. All the best to you, and God bless.

Stella
There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn't true; the other is to refuse to accept what is true. Soren Kierkegaard
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update

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Has your son received a Blessing of Comfort or a Father's Blessing?

I put Ben's name on the Prayer Roll this evening at the Bismarck, ND Temple.

It is heartbreaking beyond words when our children suffer such torment. If only your son can comprehend that Christ understands exactly how he is feeling and trust in His power to comfort and heal.

I have had this struggle with our youngest son. Sadly, there is absolutely no institutional help in this state - no means of keeping a suicidal person hospitalized long enough to help them find emotionally stable ground.

We can fast and we can pray.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update

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What a difficult situation. My heart goes out to you and your family. Prayers will be sent his and your family's way songbird. :ymhug: :( :ymhug:
- Ashley Bullock

" When we begin to know how to come to Him, He begins to come to us. When we are ready to come to Him, He is ready to receive us. " - Joseph Smith (King Follet Discourse)
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update

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My God bless you with comfort and peace.
Revelation 7:16-17
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 2

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Things have settled down remarkably since Ben went in the hospital. Many of you know that Ben is/was attending Law School. Hubby and I have been working to get Ben put on leave of absence from law school. We were extremely happy to hear that this was granted and that the loan was forgiven. They made it retroactive to the beginning of the semester, so that really was excellent news.

Ben seems to be better, but he is in a protective environment. We still don't know when he will be released or what the doctors have to say about the situation. Hopefully, tomorrow we will get a hold of someone. We still have an uphill battle. They need a place to live as living with his father is unacceptable.

Thankfully, I have had a couple of days of rest and I am feeling a little less scattered and panicked.

I still haven't found a place to stay other than the hotel I am in, but I am swallowing hard realizing this is an emergency. I plan to go to Church on Sunday and talk to the Bishop. Several people have suggested that to me and if I show up, they have something to see. Anyway, whatever happens, we will deal with it. I plan to go to the Temple tomorrow and spend some time there. Then tomorrow night we get to visit!!! Hopefully, we can talk to a doctor.

Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. I am indebted to you...
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 2

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Songbird wrote:Things have settled down remarkably since Ben went in the hospital. Many of you know that Ben is/was attending Law School. Hubby and I have been working to get Ben put on leave of absence from law school. We were extremely happy to hear that this was granted and that the loan was forgiven. They made it retroactive to the beginning of the semester, so that really was excellent news.

Ben seems to be better, but he is in a protective environment. We still don't know when he will be released or what the doctors have to say about the situation. Hopefully, tomorrow we will get a hold of someone. We still have an uphill battle. They need a place to live as living with his father is unacceptable.

Thankfully, I have had a couple of days of rest and I am feeling a little less scattered and panicked.

I still haven't found a place to stay other than the hotel I am in, but I am swallowing hard realizing this is an emergency. I plan to go to Church on Sunday and talk to the Bishop. Several people have suggested that to me and if I show up, they have something to see. Anyway, whatever happens, we will deal with it. I plan to go to the Temple tomorrow and spend some time there. Then tomorrow night we get to visit!!! Hopefully, we can talk to a doctor.

Thank you for all your prayers and thoughts. I am indebted to you...


Wish you the absolute best in your endeavors there.....there's always hope....and I hope you are able to get to the root cause and resolve it.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 2

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I thought I would make one more entry for those of you still interested in what is happening with Ben. I do not want to inundate you with too much stuff, because you all have been so kind to remember us for this time in your prayers and thoughts. And let me not forget how anxious I am to check my email for a friendly word of encouragement. You all have been so kind to me. Thank you!

Ben got out of the hospital on Tuesday. He is now an outpatient at the same hospital. He goes to intense therapy sessions daily from 9 to 2:30. I think he has a long way to go and I am still concerned. I am hoping to return home soon, but we are still trying to work out some things before I do, and, I want to be sure he is in a good place before I go as much as possible.

Ben's father is his worst enemy. Telling Ben in one breath that he no long welcome at his home, if he is going to commit suicide, don't do it at his house, and then in the other breath, tells him not to trust me. He has no place to live at the moment, Jess, his wife doesn't know how things are going to work, so she is resting heavily on me. He is confused to say the least. Currently, he is with me as is Jess, in a hotel suite. His therapy will go for about two weeks. I am praying to know what the right thing is to do for him at this point. While it seems logical for him to come up with me, the whisperings of his father are preventing any rational decisions to be made. I have done nothing to give Ben any cause to believe that I would do anything to harm or hurt him. If his father won't take him in, and tells Ben that he can't trust me, where does he go? Honestly, what is this man thinking?????

We have all been so blessed that we have had your faithful thoughts and prayers with us. I have felt their lifting influence sustain me from day to day as I try to make sense out of a very tough situation. Thank you so much. Words will be inadequate for what I feel you have all done for me. Sometimes, I have barely felt the strength I have needed to understand the things I need to do and say. I would ask for continued prayers as now I need to let go and let him move ahead. He has a very difficult road ahead of him and I hope that he does not get too discouraged...

With warmest gratitude and best wishes,
songbird
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 3

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I just found out he has been re-admitted from out-patient to in patient. Something about his meds not being right. Thank goodness!!! He did not look right to me.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 3

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My heart breaks for you and what you are going through. I will keep your son and family in my prays. Keep strong!
"Mormonism is the pure doctrine of Jesus Christ; of which I myself am not ashamed." Joseph Smith
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 3

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Songbird, I did put your son's name on the prayer roll earlier this week (Jordan River Temple). Hope they can get his meds figured out. My heart goes out to you.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 3

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I am so sorry you and Ben are having to go through this. I will be praying for you both. It would be well for you to get a blessing for yourself as well, if you haven't already. My heart goes out to you. These are very trying times. I will also pray to keep Satan away from you and your son so that he cannot torment you and add to your termoil.

Some cities have a Ronald McDonald house where people can stay who have family members receiving medical care. If they have one there, it might be worth checking out. Checking with the bishop in the area would be the best thing, however.

Hang in there. We all love you.


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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 3

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For those of you who have been praying for me and my family, I am here to report that we think Ben has finally turned a corner. It appears he is responding to medication. We feel a little more confident because he is being more honest with the doctors about what he is thinking. He told them he was still having suicidal ideations but that he was willing (now) to stay in the hospital to get stabilized. He wants to come home to Iowa with me to do the outpatient treatment which I have agreed with, but he must be stabilized before I do that. We don't know how much longer he will be inpatient, but as long as he is making progress we are happy.

We still have the component of a very controlling father who Ben would really rather not have anything to do with. Ben is still in a very fragile emotional state. He has taken his father off the list of visitors, hippa permission list and any other list there is. I am sure that my ex-husband will come unglued (if he hasn't already!) with this news. Now, we must protect him, even though he is 26, from the barrage of garbage that will come. None of us like this man, so we are trying to do all we can to pray his way is hedged up so that Ben can make the progress he needs to make to want to stay alive...I am so hopeful that with each passing day Ben feels a tiny bit better and has a little bit better desire for living.

We have seen miracle after miracle in this adventure. The greatest of which is that neither, Jess, his wife, nor me has crumbled under the pressure that has been intense since this whole thing began. I am so thankful to the Lord for His watchful care. There have been times, (like this morning) when I get out of bed, hit my knees and start to cry not knowing how I am going to make it through the day or what I am supposed to do. But Nephi has come to mind during these moments and I am trying to exercise my faith. The Lord has been so mindful and I am so grateful.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 4

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I am glad for the improvement. I will keep praying for him, and you. Thanks for the update.


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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 4

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That's great news, Songbird!

Once he's stable I would encourage you to help him get involved in charity work of some kind. Something very positive and uplifting. Maybe between the meds and something like that he will start to find joy in life again. I hope and pray that he will remain willing to get help. That is a wonderful sign!
"We can seek for the bad in others. Or we can... extend to others the understanding, fairness, and forgiveness we so desperately desire for ourselves. It is our choice; for whatever we seek, that we will certainly find."
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 4

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So happy to hear that he is turning around. I am sad to hear what is father is like in his life. I will continue to pray for him.
"Mormonism is the pure doctrine of Jesus Christ; of which I myself am not ashamed." Joseph Smith
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 4

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I guess this story is not going to end right away.

Ben went to the eye doctor on Thursday. Apparently, he was seeing double, something he neglected to tell me. Anyway, he was so alarmed he called an expert and got him in to see him the next morning. He too, was very concerned. Ben had had a pineal cyst, (found on the pineal gland in the brain), found 3 years ago, but never followed up on it. They don't know that the cyst is or isn't the cause of his troubles, both the vision troubles and the emotional ones. Anyway, they are trying to get him in to have an MRI and evaluated to see if he needs surgery to remove it.
The good news is that Ben is taking the lessons and my husband (non-member) is sitting in on them.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 5

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In fact that is good news. If his troubles are physical they give the doctors a path for treatment.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 5

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Songbird, you and Ben are in my prayers. I pray that all goes well for Ben and your family.
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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 5

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You and Ben and your family will continue being in my prayers.


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Re: I need every prayer you can recruit >> Update 4

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Songbird wrote:I guess this story is not going to end right away.

Ben went to the eye doctor on Thursday. Apparently, he was seeing double, something he neglected to tell me. Anyway, he was so alarmed he called an expert and got him in to see him the next morning. He too, was very concerned. Ben had had a pineal cyst, (found on the pineal gland in the brain), found 3 years ago, but never followed up on it. They don't know that the cyst is or isn't the cause of his troubles, both the vision troubles and the emotional ones. Anyway, they are trying to get him in to have an MRI and evaluated to see if he needs surgery to remove it.
The good news is that Ben is taking the lessons and my husband (non-member) is sitting in on them.


God bless Songbird. This seems to be good news. If all of this brings them to the fulness of the Gospel, I suspect that to you, it would all have been worth it. Blessings.
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