How do you tell the difference b/w a beggar and an attacker?

[butterfly]

The area I live in is increasing in both poverty and crime.
I often want to help all the hitchhikers I see or give money or food to those in need.
I keep getting approached in the parking lot of the grocery store by people asking for cash.
The problem is it doesn't seem safe.
My husband says I probably look like an easy target.
This happened again last night. It was dark, somewhat secluded, and a lady approached me as I was getting in my car. She started to cry as she asked for cash. I saw a man cross close by her and thought I recognized him from inside the store, a man who seemed to avoid eye contact.
I gave her some food and drove away as quickly as I could.
I feel terrible for those who are in need, I want to help, but should I just ignore a beggar when the situation is shady/ potentially dangerous?

[Robert Sinclair]

Truly letting the Holy Spirit guide you in these situations is the very best thing you can do. If it moves you to give but leave quickly, so do. It is not wrong to feel for the less fortunate, even if they are at heart criminals.

But good to get away from possible danger if the Spirit warns you to so do.♡

I was in dangerous situations giving money away, in Los Angeles areas not safe, years ago, but felt protected all the time, for some reason I cannot quite explain, other than feeling, someone above was watching over me, always.♡

[brianj]

I agree - seek to be close to the Holy Ghost then follow the promptings you receive. Every once in a while I feel prompted to give some money to a beggar I see. It doesn't happen often, and I deeply regret not following a prompting to do so earlier this week. I have driven to that same location again but haven't found the beggar in question. Most of the time when I see a beggar I feel no such prompting and leave my wallet in its place.

[dauser]

Beggars have more courage and integrity than criminals.

Beggars do not feel entitled to the fruit of their neighbor's paycheck or to things in their neighbor's garage.

Beggars will get in your face and ask on an individual, voluntary basis, unlike the criminal.

Beggars are not afraid of work, standing out on busy intersections with a cardboard sign is a lot of work!

The criminal most likely will use government to collect the charity or protect them in their the dirty work, little if any sneaking around at night with mask and black bag required, little courage, timing, quickness, speed, or agility required.

Sneaks do deserve some credit, they are not out there claiming to help you in the market place, in ceremonial black cap and gown and license to steal.

The professional do gooder can be the most dangerous.

When I get pulled over by a cop or get an invoice from the doctor or lawyer, I can expect to loose more to theft than to those who sneak around and break locks.

[butterfly]

Beggars have more courage and integrity than criminals.

Beggars do not feel entitled to the fruit of their neighbor's paycheck or to things in their neighbor's garage.

Beggars will get in your face and ask on an individual, voluntary basis, unlike the criminal.

Beggars are not afraid of work, standing out on busy intersections with a cardboard sign is a lot of work!

The criminal most likely will use government to collect the charity or protect them in their the dirty work, little if any sneaking around at night with mask and black bag required, little courage, timing, quickness, speed, or agility required.

Sneaks do deserve some credit, they are not out there claiming to help you in the market place, in ceremonial black cap and gown and license to steal.

The professional do gooder can be the most dangerous.

When I get pulled over by a cop or get an invoice from the doctor or lawyer, I can expect to loose more to theft than to those who sneak around and break locks.

Wow, I have to say, that's pretty cynical but I understand where you're coming from. We really have very little to give, just try to help where we can, so I'm not as concerned about theft as I am of being the victim of a violent crime. People do sick things, for no reason, sometimes.
I guess I thought as a country we'd see mob rule occur like overnight. I didn't think of it being just a slow, steady climb.
What about the area where you reside?

[mirkwood]

Listen to the spirit.

Then look at their clothing and physical appearance. Clean clothes, clean shoes, cell phone etc. Those are indications of someone who is not really in need. There are lots of people making good money begging because they don't want jobs.

[harakim]

I asked an expert on the subject (a homeless person):
A homeless person's shoes will be HEAVILY worn. They will almost certainly smell. They always carry a backpack (but so do fakes.) Usually homeless people have bikes. She says the first thing to look for is the shoes though. They might be wearing nice shoes, but they'll be dirty and worn. If they are old shoes but clean, they are definitely faking it. She says they all smoke and if you can get ahold of their backpack you can tell more certainly. The backpack will be really heavy.

I used to donate to homeless people all the time. Now that I have a family, I don't donate as much. I wondered about it but then I drove past someone I gave 50 bucks once. He had a pile of money at least 2 or 3 inches thick and was counting it. I felt like it was better to use my money to build a food storage or save for a time when I find someone in real need.

[butterfly]

I asked an expert on the subject (a homeless person):
A homeless person's shoes will be HEAVILY worn. They will almost certainly smell. They always carry a backpack (but so do fakes.) Usually homeless people have bikes. She says the first thing to look for is the shoes though. They might be wearing nice shoes, but they'll be dirty and worn. If they are old shoes but clean, they are definitely faking it. She says they all smoke and if you can get ahold of their backpack you can tell more certainly. The backpack will be really heavy.

I used to donate to homeless people all the time. Now that I have a family, I don't donate as much. I wondered about it but then I drove past someone I gave 50 bucks once. He had a pile of money at least 2 or 3 inches thick and was counting it. I felt like it was better to use my money to build a food storage or save for a time when I find someone in real need.

Wow, thanks! Did you seriously just walk right up to her and ask? When you would donate before, would you typically plan to give unless the spirit restrained you or plan to only give if the spirit prompted you?

[harakim]

I planned to give whenever I could. I wasn't paying tithing at the time and I said to myself: "I better not choose not to pay tithing and keep the money. That will mean I'm just selfish." So I chose to give the amount I'd pay in tithing away so I could do it as a testament to myself and God that I wasn't being selfish and was only doing it because of my convictions. (I will say this: It's hard to give away the amount you pay in tithing.)

[butterfly]

I planned to give whenever I could. I wasn't paying tithing at the time and I said to myself: "I better not choose not to pay tithing and keep the money. That will mean I'm just selfish." So I chose to give the amount I'd pay in tithing away so I could do it as a testament to myself and God that I wasn't being selfish and was only doing it because of my convictions. (I will say this: It's hard to give away the amount you pay in tithing.)

What were your convictions about not paying tithing? Have your convictions changed?

[harakim]

I planned to give whenever I could. I wasn't paying tithing at the time and I said to myself: "I better not choose not to pay tithing and keep the money. That will mean I'm just selfish." So I chose to give the amount I'd pay in tithing away so I could do it as a testament to myself and God that I wasn't being selfish and was only doing it because of my convictions. (I will say this: It's hard to give away the amount you pay in tithing.)

What were your convictions about not paying tithing? Have your convictions changed?

It pretty much came down to City Creek. Also, they must be collecting a lot of money and I don't know what they're doing with it. My current ward doesn't even have a budget for my calling but I'm supposed to provide refreshments 12x and dinner 1x a year for about 30 people.

I do pay tithing now. In short it's because if I were to create an organization to try and make a free, happy world to live in, it would look a lot like the church. I want to contribute to an organization like that in case they are doing good things with it. If the chance at a great organization is only 10% of my net income, that's pretty cheap. In addition, I trust Uchtdorf.

[Older/wiser?]

I was is SLC one evening when approached by a lady begging, I pulled out a handful of quarters (at least $8 worth) can't remember why I had so much change, she looked at the
Huge handful and scoffed "I don't do change only bills" and walked away. Wow, my spouse
Grabbed the hand load and said, "well I work for food" so thanks. Another time I was parked
In a electrical supply store, saw a nice new van pull up(nicer and newer than my van)watched a couple get out adjust there clothes, get a big sign out ,walk down to the corner near Home Depot and start begging..so unless I am really hollered at to give , I chose to give to the church. City creek doesn't bother me any more than the extreme beautification of Ogden surrounding the temple, years ago that was the worst, old manufacturing plants, bad elements. The Church totally renovated the whole area, the Lords kingdom has to be prosperous .So many programs from humanitarian to giving employment to those struggling . Once money leaves my hand openly and goes to the Lords my stewardship is ended and He replenishes my open Hand an deals with those who spend His offering wisely or not, in His timing not mine.I am reminded of Judas who stated "why waste this expensive
Perfume when it could be sold and given to the poor". Well I don't know that building up areas and making businesses might not bring one soul to the area that might not have come,and they might find that pearl of great price that I have been so richly blessed with.

[iWriteStuff]

I was is SLC one evening when approached by a lady begging, I pulled out a handful of quarters (at least $8 worth) can't remember why I had so much change, she looked at the
Huge handful and scoffed "I don't do change only bills" and walked away. Wow, my spouse
Grabbed the hand load and said, "well I work for food" so thanks. Another time I was parked
In a electrical supply store, saw a nice new van pull up(nicer and newer than my van)watched a couple get out adjust there clothes, get a big sign out ,walk down to the corner near Home Depot and start begging..so unless I am really hollered at to give , I chose to give to the church. City creek doesn't bother me any more than the extreme beautification of Ogden surrounding the temple, years ago that was the worst, old manufacturing plants, bad elements. The Church totally renovated the whole area, the Lords kingdom has to be prosperous .So many programs from humanitarian to giving employment to those struggling . Once money leaves my hand openly and goes to the Lords my stewardship is ended and He replenishes my open Hand an deals with those who spend His offering wisely or not, in His timing not mine.I am reminded of Judas who stated "why waste this expensive
Perfume when it could be sold and given to the poor". Well I don't know that building up areas and making businesses might not bring one soul to the area that might not have come,and they might find that pearl of great price that I have been so richly blessed with.

Had a guy approach me in a wheelchair once when I was leaving the doctor's office. Asked for help, so I told him to wait there and I'd be right back. I went to the local grocery store (Kroger's) and bought him a $25 gift card to that grocery store. When I came back and handed it to him, he looked at me like I'd just sneezed and handed him the Kleenex. "What am I supposed to do with this?" were his words. Oh well, I tried. :-\

Used to live in a shady part of town where people always approached you at the gas station asking for money or gas. I don't think I ever turned anyone down in either request, and I didn't spend any time debating the worthiness of the recipient either. I'm judged on my willingness to give, not on their worthiness to receive.

[butterfly]

I was is SLC one evening when approached by a lady begging, I pulled out a handful of quarters (at least $8 worth) can't remember why I had so much change, she looked at the
Huge handful and scoffed "I don't do change only bills" and walked away. Wow, my spouse
Grabbed the hand load and said, "well I work for food" so thanks. Another time I was parked
In a electrical supply store, saw a nice new van pull up(nicer and newer than my van)watched a couple get out adjust there clothes, get a big sign out ,walk down to the corner near Home Depot and start begging..so unless I am really hollered at to give , I chose to give to the church. City creek doesn't bother me any more than the extreme beautification of Ogden surrounding the temple, years ago that was the worst, old manufacturing plants, bad elements. The Church totally renovated the whole area, the Lords kingdom has to be prosperous .So many programs from humanitarian to giving employment to those struggling . Once money leaves my hand openly and goes to the Lords my stewardship is ended and He replenishes my open Hand an deals with those who spend His offering wisely or not, in His timing not mine.I am reminded of Judas who stated "why waste this expensive
Perfume when it could be sold and given to the poor". Well I don't know that building up areas and making businesses might not bring one soul to the area that might not have come,and they might find that pearl of great price that I have been so richly blessed with.

Had a guy approach me in a wheelchair once when I was leaving the doctor's office. Asked for help, so I told him to wait there and I'd be right back. I went to the local grocery store (Kroger's) and bought him a $25 gift card to that grocery store. When I came back and handed it to him, he looked at me like I'd just sneezed and handed him the Kleenex. "What am I supposed to do with this?" were his words. Oh well, I tried. :-\

Used to live in a shady part of town where people always approached you at the gas station asking for money or gas. I don't think I ever turned anyone down in either request, and I didn't spend any time debating the worthiness of the recipient either. I'm judged on my willingness to give, not on their worthiness to receive.

Just to clarify, I'm not concerned about whether a person is worthy to receive help or not, I'm concerned about getting mugged. There are lots of places where people get kidnapped if a predator thinks that person is linked to money.
I'm usually trying to watch what my kids are doing, and I'm not superwoman-strong or anything, so it makes me nervous when I get approached by people asking for money. I'm worried it's a trick and that they're about to attack me.

[Older/wiser?]

Well that puts a clearer twist on the OP, I would say that gut feeling, you know the one that
Makes you uneasy( Elder Bednar came and spoke) He stated sometimes you think it is just
You thinking that, yet really it is the HG, and related it to An experience on his mission. I don't know that you can tell contrary to popular beliefs , the bad guys don't always wear black or drive Harley's ..we live in a day were you can't tell (as Elizabeth Smarts mother can testify). First I would follow that instinct, it is in you (HG) second Don't take any risks. If parking lot is full, wait for a closer spot under a light, if someone approaches cross to the other side. I read a study along time ago about how women feel the need to be polite and helpful to strangers, and the bad guys know it. So throw that women stuff to the wind , your responsible for and the protector of the little ones, I know you want to be kind and giving ,
But don't let that make you less fearsome..be aware of your surroundings at all times. A man
Can fight a women with little children can't so don't be afraid if someone seems to be invading your space to turn the other way and walk to people, be rude or get Mace..

[skmo]

I feel terrible for those who are in need, I want to help, but should I just ignore a beggar when the situation is shady?

Not only yes, but hell yes. God opens doors for people in need, and I don't believe it's by behavior that is going to put people in danger. I have known people who were dirty, worn down cardboard sign holders humbly proclaiming "God Bless! Please help!" who drove to their piece of sidewalk in a car just fine. I stopped once in a large city for a guy whose sign said "No food for 3 days - Please help" and I had just picked up 3 Popeye's chicken meals for me and two co-workers. I pulled over and offered my box lunch because I'm too fat anyway. He replied "OH, I just need cash, I don't like chicken." In stead of cash, or chicken, he got mashed potatoes and Cajun gravy. Not the dish it came in, just the potatoes and gravy.

Are there people in need? Certainly. However, you never know if the person who approaches you has a need for compassion or their next fix. Some of those who are bold enough and find people willing to give them money may one day get bold enough to take it from someone walking to their car without permission.

[butterfly]

Well that puts a clearer twist on the OP, I would say that gut feeling, you know the one that
Makes you uneasy( Elder Bednar came and spoke) He stated sometimes you think it is just
You thinking that, yet really it is the HG, and related it to An experience on his mission. I don't know that you can tell contrary to popular beliefs , the bad guys don't always wear black or drive Harley's ..we live in a day were you can't tell (as Elizabeth Smarts mother can testify). First I would follow that instinct, it is in you (HG) second Don't take any risks. If parking lot is full, wait for a closer spot under a light, if someone approaches cross to the other side. I read a study along time ago about how women feel the need to be polite and helpful to strangers, and the bad guys know it. So throw that women stuff to the wind , your responsible for and the protector of the little ones, I know you want to be kind and giving ,
But don't let that make you less fearsome..be aware of your surroundings at all times. A man
Can fight a women with little children can't so don't be afraid if someone seems to be invading your space to turn the other way and walk to people, be rude or get Mace..

Yes,this is exactly what I am talking about. I remember reading about an elderly grandma who was crying for help from her car in the store parking lot. A woman went to help her and a man jumped out and shoved the woman into the car and drove off. A very similar situation almost happened to me as well, about a year ago.

It seems like an effective technique - set up a situation where someone appears to need help, like a beggar, and turn it into a trap for unsuspecting women just trying to be nice.
I wonder if I should just ignore all beggars unless specifically prompted to help.

[Older/wiser?]

Yes , the little help a women can offer is not worth the risk, and always be aware of who is watching you..maybe take a self defense class..gun stores sell bear mace, don't be afraid to use it.

[iWriteStuff]

Just to clarify, I'm not concerned about whether a person is worthy to receive help or not, I'm concerned about getting mugged. There are lots of places where people get kidnapped if a predator thinks that person is linked to money.
I'm usually trying to watch what my kids are doing, and I'm not superwoman-strong or anything, so it makes me nervous when I get approached by people asking for money. I'm worried it's a trick and that they're about to attack me.

I hear ya. My wife has the same concern. Me, however.... I always roll strapped so I'm not as concerned about getting mugged.

I agree with the bear mace comment, so long as you can be sure your kids can't get into it. They wouldn't enjoy the experience.

[GrandMasterB]

The area I live in is increasing in both poverty and crime.
I often want to help all the hitchhikers I see or give money or food to those in need.
I keep getting approached in the parking lot of the grocery store by people asking for cash.
The problem is it doesn't seem safe.
My husband says I probably look like an easy target.
This happened again last night. It was dark, somewhat secluded, and a lady approached me as I was getting in my car. She started to cry as she asked for cash. I saw a man cross close by her and thought I recognized him from inside the store, a man who seemed to avoid eye contact.
I gave her some food and drove away as quickly as I could.
I feel terrible for those who are in need, I want to help, but should I just ignore a beggar when the situation is shady/ potentially dangerous?

Pull out you gun. If he/she runs away you have a criminal. If they cry and plea for mercy they are just a beggar.

[butterfly]

The area I live in is increasing in both poverty and crime.
I often want to help all the hitchhikers I see or give money or food to those in need.
I keep getting approached in the parking lot of the grocery store by people asking for cash.
The problem is it doesn't seem safe.
My husband says I probably look like an easy target.
This happened again last night. It was dark, somewhat secluded, and a lady approached me as I was getting in my car. She started to cry as she asked for cash. I saw a man cross close by her and thought I recognized him from inside the store, a man who seemed to avoid eye contact.
I gave her some food and drove away as quickly as I could.
I feel terrible for those who are in need, I want to help, but should I just ignore a beggar when the situation is shady/ potentially dangerous?

Pull out you gun. If he/she runs away you have a criminal. If they cry and plea for mercy they are just a beggar.

Is it illegal to just randomly pull out a gun? Like could I be arrested? I'm guessing it depends on the state.

[GrandMasterB]

The area I live in is increasing in both poverty and crime.
I often want to help all the hitchhikers I see or give money or food to those in need.
I keep getting approached in the parking lot of the grocery store by people asking for cash.
The problem is it doesn't seem safe.
My husband says I probably look like an easy target.
This happened again last night. It was dark, somewhat secluded, and a lady approached me as I was getting in my car. She started to cry as she asked for cash. I saw a man cross close by her and thought I recognized him from inside the store, a man who seemed to avoid eye contact.
I gave her some food and drove away as quickly as I could.
I feel terrible for those who are in need, I want to help, but should I just ignore a beggar when the situation is shady/ potentially dangerous?

Pull out you gun. If he/she runs away you have a criminal. If they cry and plea for mercy they are just a beggar.

Is it illegal to just randomly pull out a gun? Like could I be arrested? I'm guessing it depends on the state.

I didn't say it was legal.

[butterfly]

The area I live in is increasing in both poverty and crime.
I often want to help all the hitchhikers I see or give money or food to those in need.
I keep getting approached in the parking lot of the grocery store by people asking for cash.
The problem is it doesn't seem safe.
My husband says I probably look like an easy target.
This happened again last night. It was dark, somewhat secluded, and a lady approached me as I was getting in my car. She started to cry as she asked for cash. I saw a man cross close by her and thought I recognized him from inside the store, a man who seemed to avoid eye contact.
I gave her some food and drove away as quickly as I could.
I feel terrible for those who are in need, I want to help, but should I just ignore a beggar when the situation is shady/ potentially dangerous?

Pull out you gun. If he/she runs away you have a criminal. If they cry and plea for mercy they are just a beggar.

Is it illegal to just randomly pull out a gun? Like could I be arrested? I'm guessing it depends on the state.

I didn't say it was legal.

Lol, well I guess I should double-check my state laws

[Kitkat]

Well that puts a clearer twist on the OP, I would say that gut feeling, you know the one that
Makes you uneasy( Elder Bednar came and spoke) He stated sometimes you think it is just
You thinking that, yet really it is the HG, and related it to An experience on his mission. I don't know that you can tell contrary to popular beliefs , the bad guys don't always wear black or drive Harley's ..we live in a day were you can't tell (as Elizabeth Smarts mother can testify). First I would follow that instinct, it is in you (HG) second Don't take any risks. If parking lot is full, wait for a closer spot under a light, if someone approaches cross to the other side. I read a study along time ago about how women feel the need to be polite and helpful to strangers, and the bad guys know it. So throw that women stuff to the wind , your responsible for and the protector of the little ones, I know you want to be kind and giving ,
But don't let that make you less fearsome..be aware of your surroundings at all times. A man
Can fight a women with little children can't so don't be afraid if someone seems to be invading your space to turn the other way and walk to people, be rude or get Mace..

Yes,this is exactly what I am talking about. I remember reading about an elderly grandma who was crying for help from her car in the store parking lot. A woman went to help her and a man jumped out and shoved the woman into the car and drove off. A very similar situation almost happened to me as well, about a year ago.

It seems like an effective technique - set up a situation where someone appears to need help, like a beggar, and turn it into a trap for unsuspecting women just trying to be nice.
I wonder if I should just ignore all beggars unless specifically prompted to help.

Butterfly- I have asked myself this question so many times . I Think we owe it to our children to play it safe. When I worked as an early morning custodian in college they had the police department come and speak with us ladies about safety. The police officer said the best thing you can do if a stranger approaches you is to be confident- Address them before they reach you. If you notice someone eyeing you in a parking lot, look them in the eyes and say, "Can I help you sir/ma'am?". This tells them you see them and have a good description of who they are. They don't get to come any closer without stating their intentions.

Perhaps we could liken Mosiah 4 to our situation

24 And again, I say unto the defenseless women, I mean all you who deny the beggar, because they might abduct you; ...I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because It's dangerous, but if I could I would give.

25 And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless...

I usually feel pretty safe giving to those who are asking for money using a sign, if I get to approach them, but when they approach me I get much more leery.

[iWriteStuff]

Pull out you gun. If he/she runs away you have a criminal. If they cry and plea for mercy they are just a beggar.

Is it illegal to just randomly pull out a gun? Like could I be arrested? I'm guessing it depends on the state.

I didn't say it was legal.

Lol, well I guess I should double-check my state laws

It's called "brandishing" in any state and is a felony. You never ever ever let someone else know if you are carrying. Even implying it can be a felony.

https://www.usconcealedcarry.com/brandishing-law/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;