Sirocco wrote: ↑
Mon Jun 19, 2017 10:42 am
Only girls I have felt were good women I guess thought they were too good for me, I mean both are single and seem that they will be for a long time, that kind of holding out for someone better attitude our culture has, and they're in their 30s, I think I know how that's going to go for them.
I don't hold it against them really, our culture has a trade up mentality, a "everything will work out" mentality, one where you don't have to work for anything, that things will come to you because you "deserve it".
And no I didn't have a fwb thing with either of the girls I liked, it was a proper courtship sort of thing, more with the second one, the first one pretty much right away made it clear she didn't like me.
I mean that courtship turned out to be a complete waste of my time and she didn't enjoy most anything because she refused to tell me anything of what she wanted until afterwards.
So I mean looking back at the last few months she was lousy, but she understood me and I imagine if she had liked me she'd have been nicer.
I did man up and confess to her, and she ignored it completely.
Pretty bad at communication her, and I can't read people well so I never had much of a clue what was happening.
I think I need more then just simple energy, I have never attracted anyone worth anything, and most of my life I've been abstinent.
I don't think I will ever get married, it gets worse out there as I get older, people expect far more because they're more desperate and more demanding.
When I was your age no one gave a crap what I did for my job, I had one and it was the same sort they had, now since my job is lousy (to them) I am a write off, no matter anything else.
Even if their job is lousy, I am supposed to save them or something, I don't know.
Not everyone gets to be happy with someone else.
I understood that long ago, and have largely abandoned my ideas and notions about people, if I do get married it will probably be an unhappy one, she would resent me like so many resent their aspergers partners.
What's the point?
Sure I'd love nothing more then to meet someone great but that's asking a lot, far more then I can return in favour, why would I deserve someone great, I'm not that great.
I'm a socially awkward weirdo with a sub par job, disability assistance and a tiny apartment, I'm not really worth anything, and any half decent person would see that.
And they have.