Thank you, Br. Lenox!brlenox wrote: ↑June 27th, 2017, 1:31 pmI think there is tendency to equate unrighteous dominion with acts of aggression, violence, intimidation and sundry other such behaviors. Certainly these are some of the most disagreeable and the most observable but over the years I have learned that everyone has a little bully in them.BroJones wrote: ↑June 29th, 2010, 4:20 pm The Lord warns about unrighteous dominion poignantly in D&C 121:
Here are some thoughts about identifying and coping with unrighteous dominion:2 aHow long shall thy hand be stayed, and thine eye, yea thy pure eye, behold from the eternal heavens the wrongs of thy people and of thy servants, and thine ear be penetrated with their cries?
3 Yea, O Lord, ahow long shall they suffer these wrongs and unlawful boppressions, before thine heart shall be softened toward them, and thy bowels be moved with ccompassion toward them?
34 Behold, there are many acalled, but few are chosen. And why are they not chosen?
35 Because their ahearts are set so much upon the things of this bworld, and caspire to the dhonors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson—
36 That the arights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be bcontrolled nor handled only upon the cprinciples of righteousness.
37 That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to acover our bsins, or to gratify our cpride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or ddominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens ewithdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man.
38 Behold, ere he is aware, he is left unto himself, to akick against the pricks, to bpersecute the saints, and to cfight against God.
39 We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.
40 Hence many are called, but afew are chosen.
41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the bpriesthood, only by cpersuasion, by dlong-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;
42 By akindness, and pure bknowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the csoul without dhypocrisy, and without guile—
1. Identifying UD -- bullying, compulsion, forcing, Satan's methods, fear-mongering, back-biting, false accusations, constraints on free speech.
2. "Remember that to be Accused is NOT the same as to be Convicted" of wrong-doing. Bullies assertively accuse of wrong-doing, usually in bold but vague terms. Those who exercise the "true independence of heaven" (Brigham Young) do not accept/believe the accusations without doing some checking and verification first, and then they remember the role of repentance and the Atonement without condemning the accused.
3. Our inclination (I've noticed) when someone in authority (e.g. police, administrators) says one has done Wrong or is in Trouble, our tendency is to believe him, feel bad/worried and to immediately concede -- then later feel bad about caving in, once one has had time to think things through more calmly.
4. Bullies want us to act NOW, immediately, basically while the fear-hormones are still clouding our thinking. Therefore, we should resolve in advance (like now) while we are thinking calmly that we will NOT REACT WITH FEAR, knee-jerk quickly -- but will give ourselves time to settle, think things through, act out of love and faith and sound principles.
5. Sometimes we flee, sometimes we fight -- and the Lord will tell us "whither to flee" and "whether to fight" (see Alma 48, for example). Often this comes by direct personal revelation; we must seek this inspiration daily and BEFORE the provocation of bullies.
I would appreciate others' thought on how to cope with unrighteous dominion. It can be a real trial in life, and is SO common.
Not always the kind of bully that is demonstrative with bombastic behaviors. However, everyone has found a behavior or behaviors that allows them to manipulate a situation to their own advantage. We may see it in wives or girl friends who cry readily to garner a sympathy response to get what they want. I have a son that is an exceptional salesman who simply pushes ever so gently through the process of identifying what you want and then giving it to you. Mine has always been knowledge. From a young age , I learned that if I knew more than everyone else I could dominate in a majority of situations. I didn't have to demonstrate a single physically intimidating behavior but it was intimidation just the same.
Many of us leave these behaviors with maturity and an improving sense of our own self-worth. However, many lock into them thinking getting their way is the most important thing.
Based on these observations, I have made specific effort to move each of my children through their natural style of bullying by identifying their technique and then over the course of their maturation establishing the environment where they flourish more in the absence of that technique than in its usage.
Unrighteous dominion in the context of the Gospel is really speaking to a limited and select group. Sure wives and children can exercise unrighteous dominion, but the greater concern is those that are granted Priesthood authority.
It is kind of a two fold issue. Can a priesthood holder establish dominion and maintain it using righteous principles? Or, two when he is pushed to the edge will he resort to behaviors of intimidation etc.
In his dominion will he protect those under his care from familial unrighteous dominion also upon proper principles. In my early marriage, my wife was a screamer and a yeller. That is what she grew up under and was the natural response to having her authority challenged. When this behavior was directed towards the children, I saw it as my job to protect them from their mother and I would gently terminate the conflict and resolve. As you can imagine that can be an escalating moment but I never abdicated my role as the protector in the family. I am trying to protect them psychologically more than physically in this situation. Over the years she has completely overcome these tendencies mostly because she has learned that her authority is not dependent on others doing things her way. It is not diminished when she is exercising correct principles of patience, longsuffering etc. It is enhanced by her becoming comfortable that she is the maternal authority.
As my children have entered adulthood both my wife an I have been amazed how remarkable confident and stable our children are. She and they credit me for the stabilizing role I played but my response has always been that I never knew if what I was doing was being done correctly. I did not have an overwhelming sense of direction in these things. However, early on I adopted the behavior I felt was most like how my Father in Heaven treated me and that has made all the difference.
The bottom line in my perception is that these men who hold the priesthood are ever engaged in a sifting process that will determine who can be given absolute power and maintain states of Godliness or who under a managed scenario of familial authority will draw upon the natural tendencies of maleness and dominate to the destruction of the self worth and more of those around him.
You concluded: "The bottom line in my perception is that these men who hold the priesthood are ever engaged in a sifting process that will determine who can be given absolute power and maintain states of Godliness or who under a managed scenario of familial authority will draw upon the natural tendencies of maleness and dominate to the destruction of the self worth and more of those around him."
Couldn't agree with you more that the test is afoot! Esp for priesthood holders. The one lesson we must get is that,
It's a sifting process indeed. And unfortunately all most all of us will fail because "We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.""That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness. That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man."
Sobering!
How to overcome and be chosen and not just called? What a wonderful question to ponder!
Christ says to become as a little child, and to be baptized with water and fire and to build a foundation on strictly this doctrine. It's all about humility and submission to the will of God.