Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

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JustAMormonGuy
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Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby JustAMormonGuy » Tue Nov 08, 2016 1:06 pm

Hello, I am 13 years old and am struggling with masturbation.
I really want to repent and forsake my sins but I am worried that my bishop will tell my parents. I can handle telling my bishop and ive already confessed openly to God but I don't want my parents to know.


Thank you all For you're help.


-Mormon Kid-

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markbasker
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby markbasker » Tue Nov 08, 2016 2:08 pm

I don't think so. If you are apprehensive about it though, ask him to keep it confidential.
I have studied these things, you have not, peasant.

JustAMormonGuy
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby JustAMormonGuy » Tue Nov 08, 2016 2:19 pm

thank you... I think I will ask him. I really want to repent I am just kind of scared.

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captainfearnot
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby captainfearnot » Tue Nov 08, 2016 2:41 pm

He might. Or he he might not. It all depends on the bishop.

Think of the bishop as trusted friend—but only if he actually is a trusted friend. What I mean is, don't think of him as a doctor or lawyer or therapist or any other professional bound by law or ethics to keep your confidences. Because he is not any of those things.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby braingrunt » Tue Nov 08, 2016 2:51 pm

I don't know what your bishop will do, but there's some chance he'll ask you to wait on passing the sacrament. If so, your parents will kinda know.

Being afraid is natural but not good. Maybe you should just tell them.

And good luck/best wishes on kicking the habit. It may be difficult, don't let it get you down.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Serragon » Tue Nov 08, 2016 3:26 pm

If you have truly forsaken the sin and confessed to the Lord, you don't need to confess to the Bishop.

If you are struggling and unable to forsake the sin, confession to the Bishop is probably necessary.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby pauzinho » Tue Nov 08, 2016 3:35 pm

He may advise you to tell one or both parents so that you can receive additional support from them to stop.

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Robin Hood
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Robin Hood » Tue Nov 08, 2016 4:02 pm

Don't be too hard on yourself. You're probably doing a lot better than you think.
Try this.
Note the number of times you are tempted but don't do it. You might be tempted 20 times in a day and resist the first 19, but then give in. Now think about it. You scored 19 and the sin/devil/whatever, scored 1.
If this was a soccer game you would have won 19-1. That is an astounding victory.
The devil makes you think that the only goal that counts is the one he scored. He is a liar.
You trounched him 19-1.
The Lord sees and gives you credit for your 19 goals.
Give yourself some credit too my friend.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby e-eye2.0 » Tue Nov 08, 2016 4:16 pm

I would advise talking to the bishop. Part of the repentance process is confession. The bishop may ask you to tell your parents so you can work on the problem but most likely it would be if it's an ongoing problem. Most parents "if they are smart probably had similar issues when they were a kid and will work with you- but that is not always the case" Don't beat yourself up and trust me - when you confess and talk to your bishop you will feel an extra weight lifted. The fact that you care is a huge thing.

May I also suggest not asking this forum questions such as these as you are going to get responses from people here that you think are members when they are not members or are only members by record and have a disdain for leaders and the simple truth's of the gospel. I wish you the best.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby freedomforall » Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:24 pm

Confession

Mosiah 26:29
29 Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

D&C 59:12
12 But remember that on this, the Lord’s day, thou shalt offer thine oblations and thy sacraments unto the Most High, confessing thy sins unto thy brethren, and before the Lord.

D&C 58:43
43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them

A suggested book is: https://www.amazon.com/Putting-Armor-Go ... mor+of+god" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Therein is a vast array of power scriptures that will help fight addiction. The author tells of his extremely long struggles and how he found the powerful direction to take to overcome. This book is a great read.
GUESS WHO

REALITY...IS NOTHING MORE THAN FANTASY IN ACTION.

To the very best of my recollection...I don't remember!

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Obrien
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Obrien » Tue Nov 08, 2016 5:53 pm

JustAMormonGuy wrote:Hello, I am 13 years old and am struggling with masturbation.
I really want to repent and forsake my sins but I am worried that my bishop will tell my parents. I can handle telling my bishop and ive already confessed openly to God but I don't want my parents to know.


Thank you all For you're help.


-Mormon Kid-
Hi Mormon kid. I have a 13 year old, too, but I don't think he has this issue, yet. It is a temptation everyone gets, and many people struggle with. I don't know how your parents are, but I can tell you as a parent I would much rather have my son talk to me than our bishop about masturbation. I think most experiences / temptations should be talked about with your parents, and not with outsiders. You are your parent's responsibility. I hope they will try to help you, be supportive and talk openly with you.

I know this is a hard thing to talk about. I was 13 a long time ago, but I still remember how unapproachable my dad seemed. After I grew up, I found out I was wrong, my dad is quite open to discuss lots of things.

If you are the oldest kid in your family, your parents may need some time to adjust. Tell them you have an embarrassing problem, and that you need their help and love to deal with it. Then tell them, openly and honestly about it.

After you've told them, pray and tell heavenly father what you've done, and ask him to forgive you. Believe in Jesus, and have faith that he can forgive you.

I wouldn't tell anyone else about it. It's none if their business. In fact, I would probably only tell my dad. He'll understand, I'm sure. Most men have masturbated at some point in their life, even if you can't believe it. Your dad will probably tell your mom, then you can deal with it as a family.

Good luck , Mormon kid. I hope you find a way to communicate with your dad, and have an experience that increases your faith in Jesus.

In case you don't know for your self, I have a testimony from the Holy ghost that Jesus can forgive any sin, and he wants to forgive you. He is the saviour of everyone that puts their faith in him. Just talk to him about it, and you will be fine.
Peace be unto you...

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Melissa
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Melissa » Tue Nov 08, 2016 6:23 pm

It's honorable that you want to talk to your bishop. I don't believe that is necessary and you may well end up regretting it. Not everything needs to be said to the bishop. If you have it under control then why talk to him? You don't want him to always be asking you how that issue is going in your life all through your youth.

Only you know what to do and what is going on. If your parents find out it could be embarrassing but as a parent myself, I assume my son will do this at some point. If he didn't I might worry about his development. So try not to be afraid of your parents. Your dad won't care and your mom might be uncomfortable/adjusting to her boy growing up...nothing more than that.

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Rachael
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Rachael » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:04 pm

JustAMormonGuy wrote:thank you... I think I will ask him. I really want to repent I am just kind of scared.
Repent to Christ. You are full of raging hormones at you're age. Christ knows this. He will help with this. Stop beating yourself up over it. By His stripes we are healed

In the Bible, sins that were committed privately, were confessed privately. Do you trust Christ in confidentiality more, or your bishop? That's a big gamble dear, if you choose the latter. I know from experience. Bishops may very well tell what you tell them privately, and God help you if his wife is gossipy and spreads it around the relief society mother's.

Do you want to confess, then told you're not allowed to take sacrament, or not allowed to go on youth temple trips? That will put you under scrutiny and speculation if your bishop decides that is how you should repent and pay. Christ has already paid in full for each time you have, and will masturbate.

Love Him more, and you'll do it less. Beat yourself up more everytime, you'll probably do it more. God loves you. And don't think for even a second that the person you're thinking about confessing to hasn't handled his member a time or two. But you are a member, a member of Christ, so you decide how you'll be handled. Christ gives us freedom. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

A majority of members do not behave like a proverbial honest "Abe'. They've very likely done "it" too. Probably even your bishop. Not many will own it though. You don't get to ask private question to your leaders, but if you did, they would probably sqirm, turn red in the face, start getting extremely angry, and defensive, with a sanctimonious how dare you attitude.classic signs of guilt being uncoverd.

You can own it, but it let be between you and our Creator. It nobody else's business.

I'm not condoning masterbation, but our flesh is weak. It takes time to grow spiritual strength to overcome fleshly weakness. God knows this. Deal with Him, just love Him, because He loves you. Your sins are nailed to the cross and paid in full.

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Rachael
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Rachael » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:30 pm

freedomforall wrote:Confession

Mosiah 26:29
29 Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

D&C 59:12
12 But remember that on this, the Lord’s day, thou shalt offer thine oblations and thy sacraments unto the Most High, confessing thy sins unto thy brethren, and before the Lord.

D&C 58:43
43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them

A suggested book is: https://www.amazon.com/Putting-Armor-Go ... mor+of+god" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Therein is a vast array of power scriptures that will help fight addiction. The author tells of his extremely long struggles and how he found the powerful direction to take to overcome. This book is a great read.
http://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper- ... addenda/20" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
"If you will not accuse me, I will not accuse you. If you will throw a cloak of charity over my sins, I will over yours— for charity covereth a multitude of sins. What many people call sin is not sin; I do many things to break down superstition, and I will break it down:” --- Joseph Smith

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Obrien
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Obrien » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:34 pm

Guys -Mormon kid is 13. Don't get into a flame out over masturbation, cloaks if charity, the intricacies of confession etc on this thread. Give the boy your advice and leave it be. He doesn't need all that stuff right now. He needs some sort and encouragement. We can go fire up the baptism interview thread again if y'all want to continue in that vein.
Peace be unto you...

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Rachael
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Rachael » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:37 pm

This kid is having a normal response to puberty. Thanks SWK, and BKP for your fruits of making a Mormon Kid feel like he is committing a sin next to murder every time he slips, and all former slips come back on him. It's harmful BS.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Rachael » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:38 pm

Obrien wrote:Guys -Mormon kid is 13. Don't get into a flame out over masturbation, cloaks if charity, the intricacies of confession etc on this thread. Give the boy your advice and leave it be. He doesn't need all that stuff right now. He needs some sort and encouragement. We can go fire up the baptism interview thread again if y'all want to continue in that vein.
I'm trying... But in my defense, being accused of something and a voluntary confession of something are not the same. Sorry if I missed the vein. But baptism interviews about "M" has nothing to do with guilt a 13 y/o might feel 5 years later, after object lessons and etcetera, but we can't discuss it because it was "M" when both threads are about "M".?

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Fiannan » Tue Nov 08, 2016 7:57 pm

Rachael wrote:This kid is having a normal response to puberty. Thanks SWK, and BKP for your fruits of making a Mormon Kid feel like he is committing a sin next to murder every time he slips, and all former slips come back on him. It's harmful BS.
:ymapplause:
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Plato

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Obrien
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Obrien » Tue Nov 08, 2016 8:00 pm

I wasn't singling you out... :ymhug:
Peace be unto you...

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby braingrunt » Tue Nov 08, 2016 8:03 pm

justamormonguy
you may have noticed, not everyone on here is going to give you Sunday School answers, to put it mildly. But, don't let anyone talk you out of what you feel you should do, unless you are really convinced by their advice without fear or justification; and in general take care around here if you want to stay in the mainstream ;)

My thoughts are, that fear is a sign that your heart isn't right, and facing your fears along with the potential consequences--even consequences meted out by imperfect men who can't really forgive or condemn--tests and proves in a tangible way whether you are really humble before Christ. But, just as a warning from my experience, even after you've really humbled yourself, change does not necessarily come easily; and I encourage you to take any and all advice, even from those out of the mainstream, to keep good cheer.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Rachael » Tue Nov 08, 2016 8:12 pm

:ymhug: O' you know I'm self absorbed sometimes and think it's all about me sometimes. That's probably worse-er than "M", being ASSuming.

So "Chin up" Mormon Kid, there are worse species of humanity than you. You seem like a wonderful person.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Fiannan » Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:02 pm

Rachael wrote::ymhug: O' you know I'm self absorbed sometimes and think it's all about me sometimes. That's probably worse-er than "M", being ASSuming.

So "Chin up" Mormon Kid, there are worse species of humanity than you. You seem like a wonderful person.
Don't you think the best way to get someone not to do something is to tell them that what they are doing is next to Murder? =)) =)) =))
"One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."
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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Juliet » Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:17 pm

JustAMormonGuy wrote:Hello, I am 13 years old and am struggling with masturbation.
I really want to repent and forsake my sins but I am worried that my bishop will tell my parents. I can handle telling my bishop and ive already confessed openly to God but I don't want my parents to know.


Thank you all For you're help.


-Mormon Kid-
My instinct is if you are ready to forsake the sin, then let it go. I wouldn't confess to anybody. Confess to the Bishop if you need help getting deliverance. The temple recommend question asks if you need to clear anything up with Bishop, and the answer is no because you cleared this between you and the Lord. Satan will tempt you and make you feel dirty after you've forsaken the sin. I don't think Jesus wants us to focus on repentance after we've gotten to the point of forsaking the sin. His healing is instantaneous. Also, part of growing up is learning about our bodies. I don't really see what you have done as a serious sexual sin. You learned, and followed the Holy Spirit in saving it for later. You confessed not only to God but all of us. That is more than what most people would do. That is just my intuition. I asked my husband and he agrees with this response.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Spider » Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:29 pm

JustAMormonGuy wrote:Hello, I am 13 years old and am struggling with masturbation.
I really want to repent and forsake my sins but I am worried that my bishop will tell my parents. I can handle telling my bishop and ive already confessed openly to God but I don't want my parents to know.


Thank you all For you're help.


-Mormon Kid-
Your confession will be confidential. Your Bishop will only tell your parents with your permission.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby ajax » Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:29 pm

Religion can be seriously mental. Brainwashing, child abusing even. Enjoy it while you can kid.
Are we Christians? We act like pagans . . . . - J Reuben Clark

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Rachael » Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:36 pm

/:)
Fiannan wrote:
Rachael wrote::ymhug: O' you know I'm self absorbed sometimes and think it's all about me sometimes. That's probably worse-er than "M", being ASSuming.

So "Chin up" Mormon Kid, there are worse species of humanity than you. You seem like a wonderful person.
Don't you think the best way to get someone not to do something is to tell them that what they are doing is next to Murder? =)) =)) =))
Not really, I think it's a good way to make them feel extreme guilt, maybe even suicidal when they are a person of character that has a conscious but struggle to overcome. Sociopaths don't have this burden. They don't have a conscious that beats them up for killing kittens and puppies and maybe much worse later. And will we compare a kid going through a normal pubescence stage that inherently causes struggles, plus the impulsivity of that stage of development on that level? Of a murderer?

No, let's encourage this kid to expose his every private moments, like we all have had, shout it from the rooftops, so he can brought to repentance, when he was probably never "tempted" to commit such "heinous sins" before his endocrine system revved up when he hit puberty. If you want to twist some views/mental health that even Dr. Phil can't fix, just tell MK to read the Miracle of Forgiveness.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Lizzy60 » Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:38 pm

Spider wrote:
JustAMormonGuy wrote:Hello, I am 13 years old and am struggling with masturbation.
I really want to repent and forsake my sins but I am worried that my bishop will tell my parents. I can handle telling my bishop and ive already confessed openly to God but I don't want my parents to know.


Thank you all For you're help.


-Mormon Kid-
Your confession will be confidential. Your Bishop will only tell your parents with your permission.
This is not true. It depends on the bishop.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby butterfly » Tue Nov 08, 2016 11:10 pm

Tell your bishop only if you think it will help you feel better.

But remember that forgiveness comes from the Savior- not your bishop. Your bishop should act as a signpost pointing to the Savior, but if you know how to go to the Savior directly, then you can bypass the bishop.


And where's Zionminded and his professional opinion that masturbation in and of itself is not a sin? (He's a therapist and typically says that masturbation is a normal part of puberty and is only a problem if it becomes a maladaptive behavior).

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby davedan » Tue Nov 08, 2016 11:17 pm

No, but he will encourage YOU to tell them so they can help you.

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Re: Will my Bishop Tell My Parents

Postby Rachael » Tue Nov 08, 2016 11:26 pm

braingrunt wrote:justamormonguy
you may have noticed, not everyone on here is going to give you Sunday School answers, to put it mildly. But, don't let anyone talk you out of what you feel you should do, unless you are really convinced by their advice without fear or justification; and in general take care around here if you want to stay in the mainstream ;)

My thoughts are, that fear is a sign that your heart isn't right, and facing your fears along with the potential consequences--even consequences meted out by imperfect men who can't really forgive or condemn--tests and proves in a tangible way whether you are really humble before Christ. But, just as a warning from my experience, even after you've really humbled yourself, change does not necessarily come easily; and I encourage you to take any and all advice, even from those out of the mainstream, to keep good cheer.
MK can humble himself before Christ without putting an intermediary between himself and Christ. Imperfect men cannot forgive or condemn, I agree, but thinking they have such powers, can mess up a young, impressionable mind. I loved the rest of your post fwiw.


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