Heretical Religious Speech Being Used in Utah Court to Deny Custody of Children

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Joel
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Heretical Religious Speech Being Used in Utah Court to Deny Custody of Children

Post by Joel »

Is this a proper use of governmental power in this family's situation?

What if the mother was a Muslim or Satanist or even a Jehovah Witness, and the father spoke heretical speech about those religions, would the use of government as being used in this situation be justified?

BLOG OUT

Mormon Disclosures is on a blog black out...read on about why...


In 2014, I filed for a change in court so that I might see my tween/teen children more. Each of my tween/teen children wants to move from Provo to come to live with me in Florida. Their mother would only allow visits of 2-weeks in the summer and a week in the winter, with some spring break time. Their mother gave for reason, on October 10, 2012 that:
"While I would normally try to work with you on seeing the children while you are in town regardless of whether or not it is court-ordered parenting time, you have made it clear in recent days and weeks that you cannot leave your vendetta against the church alone and you cannot keep your views to yourself in the presence of your children. It is harmful to them to hear you attack the religion they were raised in and the religion of their mother and extended family members. I have tried to avoid drawing attention to your situation but for you to give them a distorted version of the story that paints you as some kind of hero while most members of the community here see your behavior as a betrayal and a lack of honor and integrity is cruel...

If you can agree to leave this topic alone when you visit, I will be happy to discuss arrangements for you to visit with the children."
This happened in the middle of my media-storm over the Romney articles that landed me in LDS church discipline. That kind of a parenting-time denial continued over the next year. In early 2014, after I appealed to the court for reprisal, a Utah County Court Commissioner ordered a custody evaluation to be performed in 90 days by a local psychologist whose name is very familiar in Utah, and who I will call Dr. Lightweight to protect his identity. After about a year since the evaluation was ordered, Dr. Lightweight completed his evaluation in the last half of May 2015 and reported the following to the Commissioner:
"...David had difficulty with the January [2]8 2008 court order to encourage the children to participate and attend church with her mother. David sent letters to bishops refusing his children be baptized.

"To say the least, David is a very influential parent. His thoughts on religion do not go unnoticed by the children. David has remarked that he believes he is entitled to speak to the children about those issues. In fact, those thoughts he expressed, have caused all of the children (even the older ones) to doubt their religious beliefs up until the time they were raised in 2008. Unfortunately, most children may not begin "solidifying" religion until after their teen years. Any paramount parent who expresses religious disbelief will often [a]ffect the child's "belief" system. Hence, these children tend to follow their father regarding his belief system on religion, even though there is an Order against providing religious information to the children they did not aligned with religious upbringing of the children....

"Moreover, David believes that he can speak with his children about these areas at any time. Presently, they choose their father's beliefs. This has taken effect for children whose moral belief systems are not entirely in full force."
In the "Recommendations" Section of his evaluation, Dr. Lightweight specified "Religion" as one of the primary reasons for his basis of denying me custody in his evaluation to the commissioner. (In fact, Religion is the only criteria that came out negative solely for me.)

Hence, my blog is on black-out until I know that my speech will not be used against me in the Utah Court to deny me custody of my children.

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jbalm
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Re: Heretical Religious Speech Being Used in Utah Court to Deny Custody of Children

Post by jbalm »

In some states (not sure about UT), a parent's willingness to facilitate a child's participation in his/her pre-divorce religion is a factor to be considered in custody and visitation matters.

It's more about consistency for the kids than it is about any particular religion.

That said, religious differences can cause a lot of post-judgment drama that seems counterproductive to the whole point of ensuring a child's religious upbringing.

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Joel
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Re: Heretical Religious Speech Being Used in Utah Court to Deny Custody of Children

Post by Joel »

Differences in religious beliefs is not the real issue, but it is being used as justification for the toxic behavior and seems to be the means by which the mother is leveraging to limit custody in this case. Some people are just toxic people and they will use anything to control the situation with people they do not like, that goes for both parties. Everyone involved seems worse off. He deleted his posts on his blog, but over the years he has reported it has been the mother that has used religious differences as the main reason for her justification for the use of contention in with her dealings with him. Both parties seem unyielding however, both of them seem like major pricks when it comes to their relationship with each other and in their family life.
jbalm wrote:It's more about consistency for the kids than it is about any particular religion.
I am sympathetic to the kids for sure, my parents divorced when I was a child so I have some experience with the drama these situations cause, and I understand the terrible consequences, but that's life, most people have drama from family life to work through. With that said, religious differences, especially in this country still seems like an area where parents should not be able to use governmental force to control these types of custody situations.

It seems like a clear cut case of manipulation on the part of the mother in controlling heretical religion speech, an area that government should stay out of in my opinion.

Manipulative people are creative, I am sure she could find another reason to seek to limit custody with the kids father.

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jbalm
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Re: Heretical Religious Speech Being Used in Utah Court to Deny Custody of Children

Post by jbalm »

I don't disagree with anything you said. I was just letting you know that the religious thing is one of the factors judges are required to consider.

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Joel
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Re: Heretical Religious Speech Being Used in Utah Court to Deny Custody of Children

Post by Joel »

:) I appreciate you sharing with me what you know.

I am curious, where can someone find the guidelines dealing with religious differences in the law that judges are required to abide by in custody cases?

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jbalm
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Re: Heretical Religious Speech Being Used in Utah Court to Deny Custody of Children

Post by jbalm »

Depends on the state.

The link below is very generic, but I think most states incorporate the factors listed there. Some states get more specific, some add a few factors. But it should give you a basic idea.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/ ... 29054.html

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Joel
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Re: Heretical Religious Speech Being Used in Utah Court to Deny Custody of Children

Post by Joel »

Thank you again for sharing what you know jbalm :)

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