Congratulations!! If it is any comfort know that your feelings are valid and understood. We have 5 children. Ages 5, 4, 2 1/2, 17 months and 5 months. I understand having your hands full and wondering how another will add to the mix of an already busy family. As I'm sure you already know each one adds so much more happiness and so many more blessings that it is all so worth it. Our "surprise" (#2) really taught us a lot. We were in the worst financial situation we had ever been in. Not only were we okay, we paid off the most debt that year than we've ever done before or since. He taught us all patience and love and so much more than can even be written here. I thank Heavenly Father often for knowing better what our family needed. Yes we seem "poor" compared to today's standards. We have 5 children in a three bedroom house that is falling apart everywhere....we only have one car...we struggle with the grocery budget....we get criticized often for many of our choices and how they affect us financially..but we have SO MUCH LOVE in our home.
As for feeling stretched thin, siblings are a huge blessing to one another! I know that what my children may be "missing out" on is more than made up for by what they gain from having each other. It's hard and it's crazy, and there will be days where you can't wait until bedtime. Just take it all one step at a time...know that it's okay for babies to cry once in a while, do the best you can and try not to get upset about the rest. It never helps. As long as you're doing your best the rest will be made up for. I'm trying not to give too much advice here because I am certainly no perfect parent, and confident that you already know what is best for YOU...but rather just want you to know you're not alone in how you feel.
I feel like I should share from a blog post I wrote just before baby #5 was born in hopes that it is any help or comfort to you:
Earlier this week the older kids were playing dress ups. And they felt it an urgent need for Claire (#4) to be included as well....so they begged for me to put some butterfly wings on her. And then they "ooh"ed and "ahh"ed over how cute she was and sat and hugged each other and begged to have their pictures taken together. They couldn't get enough of how cute they all were together, and they kept wrapping their arms around each other for more pictures, (which by the way totally don't do the moment justice). This seriously went on for about 20 minutes.....and ended with disappointment when I put the camera away. And then there are the times when they're just watching a show....but find some cute way to cuddle up together, and then Parker starts telling me how much he loves to snuggle with Paige.
I've got to tell you....for all the times she has to cry a few extra moments because mama simply can't do it all at once, I think this little butterfly princess is one lucky girl. Because every time she takes a turn at walking down the hall holding on to mama's hands, she's got 3 extra cheerleaders behind me telling her she's such a big girl! And every time she does a new trick she's got 3 extra people to exclaim with surprise at what a smart girl she is. 3 Extra people that love on her and smother her with kisses all day. Yes, she sometimes gets a little tough love.....and those 3 extra helpers do their share of bossing her around and taking toys away from her....but given her apparent desire to be in whatever room the big kids are playing in, I think it's safe to say she loves it all.
These moments are not rare. They happen multiple times a day in fact. But they're often so spontaneous, the camera couldn't capture it even if I had it constantly at hand. And it wouldn't do them justice anyway. They're the kind of moments you just soak up and enjoy and tuck away in the memory bank.
Moments like earlier today when Parker, Drew and Paige were racing to the sprinkler on the lawn and I hear Parker shout out, "Parker and Andrew are the winners! And Paige is too!" when he clearly beat them both by several strides.
Moments like last night when after tucking Andrew and Paige in bed I hear repeated whisperings of, "I love you Andoo" and "I love you too Paige."
I can't help but get the feeling that even though each of my children get slightly less of me due to the fact that they have each other.....that having all that extra love and support more than makes up for it. That all the ways they have to share and stretch and learn and grow and do without will serve them well throughout their lives and that through it all they'll have each other for support and love. And that that is something so worth it.
With the due date for number 5 rapidly approaching....this is the most prevalent thought on my mind. I'll admit, this due date has come at me fast. And I'm not feeling quite ready. But it's not because of any feelings of apprehension or concern for the added chaos one more will bring to our family. Truly. Any time such a thought has been brought to my mind it is quickly swept away by the feelings above. I have had such an overwhelming feeling lately that what we are doing is so right for our family for all of the reasons previously named. I've felt so many moments of peace lately pointing out the fact that this is what Heavenly Father wants for our family. No, the feeling of not being ready honestly comes from the fact that I can't believe how fast all of these special times go by. How even though I've been pregnant so often each time has been distinct and special. They don't just run together into one long pregnancy fog. And even though I marvel at every new stage and love the little people my babies are turning into, I feel the bittersweetness that comes with seeing how quickly it's all gone by. The not feeling quite ready comes from knowing that in just 3 short weeks, this new little baby will be here in my arms...not kicking my belly. And a few short weeks from that won't have that brand-new newborn look anymore. And a quick year from that she'll be walking and talking and trying to keep up with the bigger kids. I know I'll love it all....but I'm just soaking it all up while I can. Because I know that as much fun as every stage will be, this one will be over before I know it.
Best wishes to you! I hope you are feeling well. I know that morning sickness and toddlers aren't a fun match up! Enjoy the little things.
And Iv'e miscarried before so I'm still somewhat paranoid in the first trimester. We plan on waiting until Christmas to tell them. 
Although, every time we were about to make an offer something wouldn't feel right and every time I prayed about it I didn't have a peaceful feeling about it so we waited. It's good that we didn't since he ended up losing his job because they gave him an ultimatum between the job and continuing school so of course he told them quitting school was not an option. The timing of this makes me extremely nervous and a bit scared. The first time we got pregnant was really scary for some similar reasons because we were newly weds, but we had both received powerful and unmistakable promptings and then answers to prayer that we were supposed to start trying so that helped a lot with our fears. And our prayers were answered and my husband was able to get a really great job and I was able to quit working and stay home. He wasn't in school then..though.
