husband trying to recover from porn addiction

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Melissa
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Melissa » Sun Jan 01, 2017 10:05 am

Fiannan wrote:
I view men who watch porn as weak, not the type who would want multiple wives and kids. They obviously look at porn for a reason and that could be that they lack confidence to receive pleasure 1st person or they don't know how to build confidence with a woman, so they are cheap and spend their time simply jerk in to naked strangers. Sounds pathetic to me honestly.


Or maybe they look at porn because God programmed men to get a high off looking at naked women, just as God programmed women to get a high off looking at or thinking about things that pertain to sexuality.

The problem is that like the Sirens in Greek literature it can substitute for real relationships. Sorry for not sounding like Mr. Mackey from Southpark and, rather than drugs, say "Porn is bad, m'kay?" I prefer to see why it is bad and go from there. That is probably the best way to combat it.

And just to note, again, women look at porn too.

And your post reply is really bad on many levels. It places man in a helpless state victim to his sexual desires and women in a state of being acted upon. A man wants the celestial kingdom to have multiple wives? Isint that kinda the wrong focus? There is NO WAY a man will make it to the celestial kingdom if he is watching pornography and no way he will make it unless he embodies the celestial mentality and maturity of spirit...then multiple wives loses its earthy appeal because it will not be something that goes through the mind of a celestial being.


No, men, and women, need to avoid it. However, in the animal kingdom, which humans are part, created by the same God, men seek mates and females lure mates. Why do women shave their bodies and put on makeup, because it makes them feel better? No, they do it to attract the best possible mate, or hold onto him. Porn capitalizes on the desire of men to desire attractive, fertile, women and, like a fishing lure to a fish, use these desires against the male. Women too like porn but, ironically, are more into the types that involve explicit romantic scenes (same thing as men, but for slightly different reasons). There are quite detailed theories in evolutionary psychology for that.

As for polygamy, I remember a Muslim imam giving a talk to men to avoid immoral women and he asked what man in his right mind would sacrifice an eternity with hundreds of black-eyed white women for a few moments with an immoral woman. I have actually heard people in Church make similar statements in regards to eternal polygamy and increase. I think it is a good point but the porn itself is dragging people away from the necessary commandment to marry and make a bunch of kids in this life.


In the animal world, it's the often the males that attract a mate and have vibrant colors and elaborate dances and courting rituals. The male wants to be the best to attract any female who would be willing to carry his offspring because that is what makes him a proud male.

Humans don't operate quite the same. I observe the males dressing poorly and gaining weight and not working out or grooming but simply sitting back and putting unreal expectations on women to make them jump through hoops and simply throw money at them (if they have it). Women dress and act and groom the way they do because our society has its priorities and roles reversed.

Women are the ones who bear children yet are expected to reach an unreal and often very very damaging "sex" appeal. Womens bodies are not mean to be the way media portrays them to be. And after children, the body changes and isint it's youthful state but it has been tried and tested and passed but will not be the same.

Men should honor a woman who bears his children and respect her ability to do so instead of retaining his stupid programmed ideas of what a woman is. A woman is not a male pleasurer, any more than men would want to simply be sex appral and pleasure for women.

A woman is a vessel for life and a mother to children and a woman is a talented person who wants to be appreciated for not only her abilities to grow children but her talents and skills, not her looks.

This world has everybody all messed up and it's hurting everyone. So, anyone who prescribes to the "world" mentality will certainly not be doing things right.

A man is not programmed to look at porn, he just likes it. But a real man doesn't sit back and watch, he goes and gets. That's why I say men who sit back and watch porn either at home or at a club or a movie etc, are weak. Why pay a ton of money to watch fake women dance when you can spend less and have a real woman who is your partner and you can actually experience and can have your own children?

Women are programmed to have children by the best males, so when a woman cheats on her husband because he is getting older and less attractive or starts balding or loses his job, do you excuse them as well by stating they are programmed to do it. We each male and female are naturally programmed to be sinful. We can each succumb to our natural state or we can live by principles that govern our lives and be powerful instead of victims to our natural instincts and animal nature.

Ahh, that's attractive! A person who is powerful and in control and isint weak succumbing to all the weakness of flesh claiming they can't help it or making other excuses. But hey, that's me and I live by principles and feel I can stand on my own two feet and speak for myself without hiding behind shame of the flesh. We all need to stop making excuses for bad behavior and start learning how to overcome the flesh and the world and live with a purpose other than to be weak and victims of ourselves.

God made us imperfect so we could learn to do this, if we desire. Most will not choose this and thus most will not make it to the celestial kingdom. "Few there will be who will make it".

I understand what you are saying Fiannan, and I appreciate you explaining why you take the angle you do about porn. Putting focus on the right and true expressions and experiences between the genders certainly does help to put porn and other cheaper distractions into the proper place. I think your wording and perspective is sometimes mistaken for your advocating for porn to some degree and you lack the real time consequences it brings to males and females which also comes accross as being "unfeeling" or naive about the psychological damage of porn. Maybe if you mentioned those things, people could see your good intentions more.

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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Sirocco » Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:03 am

Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Melissa » Sun Jan 01, 2017 12:41 pm

Sirocco wrote:Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .


I don't think many really like reality. Reality sucks and is hard. But taking the easy path doesn't lead to greatness.

Porn is not a substitute for a warm body. Porn is a deviation that most often involves one loving on themselves. We are meant to get married and that is where we learn so much and can grow and learn and change. Clicking the screen to the next porn shot is not growth.

Some will not marry in this life but those that are capable of marrying should. There is someone for everyone! I don't know how old you are and I myself have been out of the dating scene for 10 years so don't know what it's like these days. This generation is some of the dumbest and most selfish but it's also supposed to be some of the greatest. Just have to get out of the world thinking and find someone just as weird and quirky as you ;)
That's what the rest of us did.

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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby freedomforall » Sun Jan 01, 2017 5:56 pm

If porn were the same as a cesspool. how many people would engage in it then?
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REALITY...IS NOTHING MORE THAN FANTASY IN ACTION.

To the very best of my recollection...I don't remember!

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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Sirocco » Sun Jan 01, 2017 11:09 pm

Melissa wrote:
Sirocco wrote:Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .


I don't think many really like reality. Reality sucks and is hard. But taking the easy path doesn't lead to greatness.

Porn is not a substitute for a warm body. Porn is a deviation that most often involves one loving on themselves. We are meant to get married and that is where we learn so much and can grow and learn and change. Clicking the screen to the next porn shot is not growth.

Some will not marry in this life but those that are capable of marrying should. There is someone for everyone! I don't know how old you are and I myself have been out of the dating scene for 10 years so don't know what it's like these days. This generation is some of the dumbest and most selfish but it's also supposed to be some of the greatest. Just have to get out of the world thinking and find someone just as weird and quirky as you ;)
That's what the rest of us did.


I'm 28 now, and yes I agree it is no substitute.
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby freedomforall » Mon Jan 02, 2017 12:58 am

Sirocco wrote:
Melissa wrote:
Sirocco wrote:Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .


I don't think many really like reality. Reality sucks and is hard. But taking the easy path doesn't lead to greatness.

Porn is not a substitute for a warm body. Porn is a deviation that most often involves one loving on themselves. We are meant to get married and that is where we learn so much and can grow and learn and change. Clicking the screen to the next porn shot is not growth.

Some will not marry in this life but those that are capable of marrying should. There is someone for everyone! I don't know how old you are and I myself have been out of the dating scene for 10 years so don't know what it's like these days. This generation is some of the dumbest and most selfish but it's also supposed to be some of the greatest. Just have to get out of the world thinking and find someone just as weird and quirky as you ;)
That's what the rest of us did.


I'm 28 now, and yes I agree it is no substitute.

I was 28 once, 41 years ago. Time sure is fun when you have flies. Or is it "Flies are fun when you have the time?" Or "time involves having flies for fun" "Flies, in time, lose their fun." Oh, well, there must be some correct wording. But time flies and I miss the fun.
GUESS WHO

REALITY...IS NOTHING MORE THAN FANTASY IN ACTION.

To the very best of my recollection...I don't remember!

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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Fiannan » Mon Jan 02, 2017 2:24 am

Sirocco wrote:Pornography is free, dating isn't free lol
Dating is also pretty horrible in my experience, but then again millennial women are also generally not worth marrying, in my opinion.
I did see the merit of reality vs fantasy though it's not how I wanted said reality .


You only have to find one woman, just one, that makes you happy.

As for this whole pornography debate today, with so many people substituting porn for real relationships, isn't that akin to a woman skipping marriage and children and substituting a bunch of cats instead?
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Spider » Tue Jan 03, 2017 11:29 pm

Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.

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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Sirocco » Wed Jan 04, 2017 12:25 am

Spider wrote:Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.


I would argue sex with different people loses its excitement after awhile.
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Fiannan » Wed Jan 04, 2017 9:31 am

Sirocco wrote:
Spider wrote:Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.


I would argue sex with different people loses its excitement after awhile.


I think there are a variety of reasons why people access porn. What you said has merit. There are also men whose wives consider sex once a month a chore but the man loves her so turns to porn rather than cheat on her. There are others who like the taboo associated with it. There are still others who use it because they are not in a relationship.Then again I have heard of men looking at porn before a major workout - sublimating the sex drive they build up into weight training.

In regards to women, there are those who are not fulfilled in their sex life for one reason or another so they turn to porn for substitute romance (generally viewing couple or lesbian channels). Other women use porn to switch their minds into a sexual mood before a date night with the husband, or just to push out worries and anxieties from their minds so they can engage in sex with their husband. And yes, there are those who like the taboo of porn.

Most people who access porn are not addicts, that is my main point.
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby freedomforall » Wed Jan 04, 2017 5:48 pm

Fiannan wrote:
Sirocco wrote:
Spider wrote:Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.


I would argue sex with different people loses its excitement after awhile.


I think there are a variety of reasons why people access porn. What you said has merit. There are also men whose wives consider sex once a month a chore but the man loves her so turns to porn rather than cheat on her. There are others who like the taboo associated with it. There are still others who use it because they are not in a relationship.Then again I have heard of men looking at porn before a major workout - sublimating the sex drive they build up into weight training.

In regards to women, there are those who are not fulfilled in their sex life for one reason or another so they turn to porn for substitute romance (generally viewing couple or lesbian channels). Other women use porn to switch their minds into a sexual mood before a date night with the husband, or just to push out worries and anxieties from their minds so they can engage in sex with their husband. And yes, there are those who like the taboo of porn.

Most people who access porn are not addicts, that is my main point.

Does all this reasoning make porn okay somehow?
GUESS WHO

REALITY...IS NOTHING MORE THAN FANTASY IN ACTION.

To the very best of my recollection...I don't remember!

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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Fiannan » Thu Jan 05, 2017 12:24 am

freedomforall wrote:
Fiannan wrote:
Sirocco wrote:
Spider wrote:Many men who view porn are happily married with an active sex life. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they desire sex every day rather than several times a week. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because sex with the same person loses some of its excitement. Perhaps they are drawn to porn because they are unhappy with their lives and porn gives them a temporary endorphin rush.


I would argue sex with different people loses its excitement after awhile.


I think there are a variety of reasons why people access porn. What you said has merit. There are also men whose wives consider sex once a month a chore but the man loves her so turns to porn rather than cheat on her. There are others who like the taboo associated with it. There are still others who use it because they are not in a relationship.Then again I have heard of men looking at porn before a major workout - sublimating the sex drive they build up into weight training.

In regards to women, there are those who are not fulfilled in their sex life for one reason or another so they turn to porn for substitute romance (generally viewing couple or lesbian channels). Other women use porn to switch their minds into a sexual mood before a date night with the husband, or just to push out worries and anxieties from their minds so they can engage in sex with their husband. And yes, there are those who like the taboo of porn.

Most people who access porn are not addicts, that is my main point.

Does all this reasoning make porn okay somehow?


No it does not. It merely offers and explanation as to why most people who access porn do so. They are not addicts for the most part. Of course it is an immoral practice, but not psychological for maybe 95% of people engaged in it. This is not to say it is good, it isn't. One could see it as enticing people to engage in behaviors they might never have considered had they not viewed porn, or some people might sublimate their drives to find a mate and reproduce into porn instead (look at Japan).
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Re: husband trying to recover from porn addiction

Postby Sirocco » Thu Jan 05, 2017 11:16 pm

Yes I have to admit having met someone I feel great attraction towards, love I guess, feels terrible.
Nothing about this is good, I was told it would be good, not full of nervousness and sad thoughts.
I understand Japan now lol
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