Marriage and Progression

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Rose Garden
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Marriage and Progression

Post by Rose Garden »

Some of you might have had this lesson on marriage in a church setting like I did. Three figures are drawn with one at the top and two at the bottom. Lines are drawn between each of the figures to form a triangle. The top figure represents the Lord. The bottom two figures represent the man and the woman. As long as each has a solid line of communication with each other, then they are all in good shape.
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I’ve come to believe that this is only the beginning of the process. The ideal is for the three figures to be as one, together. The Lord cannot move from his place because he is God. But the husband and wife can and should move. They should move upward toward the Lord.
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Imagine that the triangle is really a mountain. The husband and wife are both ascending the mountain. The Lord cannot move from his place or he would cease to be God, but he reaches down to help pull up the man and the woman. He can see their paths better because of his higher vantage point and so if they listen to him, he will warn them of dangers and give them wise counsel for their journeys. The man and the woman can both see the Lord and can individually focus on him and move toward him.

The husband and wife have a line of communication with each other but it is via cell phone. They cannot give each other detailed instruction about how to ascend the mountain. They are both coming from two different places and traversing two different terrains. It would be futile for the man to warn the woman of the jagged rocks he sees in front of him because they are not in front of the woman. The woman can’t warn the man of the bear she is encountering because the bear is nowhere near the man. They can only communicate with each other and encourage each other to look to the Lord and keep moving forward.

If the man has encountered a bear in his journey, he may be able to give the woman advice on how she can deal with the bear, but he can’t fight the bear for her and he needs to understand that it is ultimately her bear. Her situation might not have the same nuances as his did and so she will have to overcome the challenge in her own way.

If the woman has encountered jagged rocks on her journey, she may be able to give the man advice on how to get past the rocks, but she can’t climb the rocks for him and she needs to understand that they are ultimately his rocks. His situation might not have the same nuances as hers did and so he will have to overcome the challenge in his own way.

The husband and wife have their individual strengths and weaknesses, both their personal ones and ones more general to men and women. Because they are both focusing on Christ they have a source that will allow them to overcome whatever challenge they each face. The Lord will help the man get past the jagged rocks and help the woman get past the bear. The man can have confidence in the Lord that he will help his wife get past the bear and the woman can have confidence in the Lord that he will help her husband get past the jagged rocks.

As long as the husband and wife stay connected to each other and as long as they both look to Christ and repent of their individual weaknesses, then eventually they will be united with the Lord.
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The Lord is unchanging and so there will never be any danger of him not doing his part and helping the man and the woman. However, the man and the woman both have their free agency. At any time either one of them can turn around and choose not to ascend the mountain. In that case, the Lord will rearrange the situation so that a worthy spouse will take the place of the one who is unwilling to progress. As long as the individual is willing to progress, the Lord will make certain that they are united with a worthy spouse at the end of the journey.

It is the Lord’s job to make those arrangements. The husband cannot tell from his vantage point whether the wife is ascending the mountain or not. The wife cannot tell from her vantage point whether the husband is ascending the mountain or not. Their part is only to determine whether they themselves are ascending. If they are, they can trust that the Lord will ensure that their journey was not in vain. The husband and wife must in all things leave their spouse in the Lord’s hands.

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Melissa
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Re: Marriage and Progression

Post by Melissa »

Where do the children fit in all this? Whose side of the mountain do they climb? Or do they climb their own as well? I know children are not the marriage union but the children are there, so I'm just curious what you would say to this.

I also might add that to a degree your points are valid but I think we are expected to become one with our spouse and not just "talk on the cell phone". Becoming one with God doesn't take a spouse so when you do marry, you are to.become one with your spouse. I would argue that while we each do have our own "mountain" to climb, we are to.do it together, not alone.

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Rose Garden
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Re: Marriage and Progression

Post by Rose Garden »

Melissa wrote:Where do the children fit in all this? Whose side of the mountain do they climb? Or do they climb their own as well? I know children are not the marriage union but the children are there, so I'm just curious what you would say to this.

I also might add that to a degree your points are valid but I think we are expected to become one with our spouse and not just "talk on the cell phone". Becoming one with God doesn't take a spouse so when you do marry, you are to.become one with your spouse. I would argue that while we each do have our own "mountain" to climb, we are to.do it together, not alone.
The kids are at the top with the Lord. At least when they are little. They are the earthly testimony of the kingdom of heaven.

We can only become one with our spouse as we become one with the Lord. Division from the Lord is division from each other. Union with the Lord is union with all those who are also united with the Lord.

Perhaps I should also add a caution about believing you are at the top of the mountain when those around you are not. That is generally a good sign that you aren't actually united with the Lord and have some more work to do.

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Durzan
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Re: Marriage and Progression

Post by Durzan »

So... a soul bond?

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Sarah
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Re: Marriage and Progression

Post by Sarah »

Meili wrote:
Melissa wrote:Where do the children fit in all this? Whose side of the mountain do they climb? Or do they climb their own as well? I know children are not the marriage union but the children are there, so I'm just curious what you would say to this.

I also might add that to a degree your points are valid but I think we are expected to become one with our spouse and not just "talk on the cell phone". Becoming one with God doesn't take a spouse so when you do marry, you are to.become one with your spouse. I would argue that while we each do have our own "mountain" to climb, we are to.do it together, not alone.
The kids are at the top with the Lord. At least when they are little. They are the earthly testimony of the kingdom of heaven.

We can only become one with our spouse as we become one with the Lord. Division from the Lord is division from each other. Union with the Lord is union with all those who are also united with the Lord.

Perhaps I should also add a caution about believing you are at the top of the mountain when those around you are not. That is generally a good sign that you aren't actually united with the Lord and have some more work to do.
I like everything you've written. I agree with the part I've underlined, and believe that this is what defines Zion - a unity of all with the Lord. The only way we can become one with each other is to become one with Him.

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Rose Garden
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Re: Marriage and Progression

Post by Rose Garden »

Durzan wrote:So... a soul bond?
You've lost me.

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Thinker
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Re: Marriage and Progression

Post by Thinker »

I like it! :)
Something like this?...

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When a couple first marries, I think defining God similarly is important and then as they grow closer to God (highest GOoD) they grow closer to each other.

On a lighter, or heavier, note (depending on your situation ;))…
I just found these notes from a marriage retreat we went to...
  • Marriage requires a man to prepare 4 types of "rings":
    * The Engagement Ring
    * The Wedding Ring
    * The Suffe-Ring
    * The Endu-Ring

    -A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.
    -I've been trying desperately to save my marriage for the last 35 years
    -Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute.
    -Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot.
    -Marriage is like a mousetrap. Those on the outside are trying to get in. Those on the inside are trying to get out.
    -Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.
    -My opinions are my wife's, and she says I'm lucky to have them.
    -My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.
    -I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
    -Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
    -The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman. -- S. T. Coleridge-
I know, I know - a bit pessimistic. I thought those were notes for a marriage retreat because it was by the confirmation copy... but maybe not. I would have really remembered such a marriage retreat! :D

Who would you say are good examples of a long-lasting loving marriage?
I'd say a childhood friend's parents... I hung out at their house enough to realize what a good marriage looks like. And I see them posting love notes to each other on Facebook - bragging about each other - still after all of these years. So sweet!

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Thinker
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Re: Marriage and Progression

Post by Thinker »

To renew my and others' hope in marriage, here are some songs of various times and styles...
Spoiler

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