Policy on Adoption and Sealing

[brianj]

Here's an interesting scenario that I may be associated with in the near future, and I'm wondering if anybody here knows if church policy would permit or prohibit sealing in the following situation.

Man and woman are married in the temple, sealed for eternity, and they have children. Eventually they divorce, ex-husband is sealed to someone else, and ex-wife has her sealing canceled to be sealed to someone else. The bitter ex-wife notices the anger of her children over the divorce and exploits it to paint a really bad image of their father in the minds of the children. After she is sealed to husband number two, she encourages the kids to support a petition to be adopted by their step father.

In such a situation, could the children be sealed to the step father or would the prior sealing to their estranged father be upheld by church authority?

[inho]

In such a situation, could the children be sealed to the step father or would the prior sealing to their estranged father be upheld by church authority?

Handbook 1:

Adopted or Foster Children Who Are Living

Living children who are born in the covenant or have been sealed to parents cannot be sealed to any other parents unless approval is given by the First Presidency.

I guess this means that it is possible, but higly unlikely. I don't think that FP gives permissions without really good reasons.

This is also pertinent:

Sealing of Living Children to One Natural Parent and a Stepparent

A living unmarried child under 21 who was not born in the covenant or sealed previously, and who has not been adopted, may be sealed to one natural parent and a stepparent if both of the following conditions exist:

The conditions are that the parent has custody and the another natural parent gives signed consent.

[Sandinista]

I have a similar situation and the way it was described to us when we asked if my wife's children needed to be "re-sealed" to me is that doesn't matter what happens to the parents (e.g. their sealing is canceled for whatever reason, neither gets sealed to a new spouse, one gets sealed to a different spouse, or whatever). In our case my wife's husband left the Church and was excommunicated. Her sealing to him was canceled and we were subsequently sealed. However, once the child is sealed (whether being born into the covenant, being a natural child who was sealed to their parents after the parents were sealed as converts, or adopted into a family and then sealed to that family) they are sealed into the "network" and stay sealed. They are sealed into the eternal family of our Father.

We tend to talk about eternal families with our children as if the nuclear family of mom, dad and their kids is static and never changes. But it changes all the time. For example, as soon as the child marries they are now sealed to their spouse, thus creating a new "family", they have children and they marry and create another family, and on and on. The "family" unit of a sealed husband and wife is what makes up the new and everlasting covenant, not the children they produce. As each child reaches maturity and enters into their own new and everlasting covenant with a spouse the "family" is increased. The next time you do sealing's in the Temple listen carefully to the words of both the sealing of a husband and wife and the sealing of children to parents. To very distinct ordinances with different promises, blessings, and conditions.

I'm not explaining it very well, but what we are really talking about is God's family, and being sealed into that linage starting with Adam and continuing down until the last child is born. Naturally there will be holes and breaks in the patriarchal chain caused by the tests of mortality, but those will all be linked together and at the end Adam will present to the Savior, and He will present to the Father, a single, complete unbroken, sealed family of God.

[gclayjr]

All,

We humans, in our pursuit of selfish desires, are sure able to take some simple concepts, and make it a difficult knot to unravel. Luckily God will be able to figure it out.

I lived a more straightforward example of this. My wife was previously married and sealed in the temple. Her first husband found another honey and divorced her. They had a daughter. I later married her and was sealed to her. Her ...our daughter was automatically sealed to me (she was present in the ceremony). At one level, it was sad that my wife's first husband couldn't treasure what he had... although I guess for me personally it was a blessing.

But generally, if the mother stays true to the course and maintains her temple covenants, the children go where she goes...

I know that some of the above examples are more twisted and tortured than mine, but I thought I might bring clarity to the general principle.

Regards,

George Clay

[EdGoble]

I have a similar situation and the way it was described to us when we asked if my wife's children needed to be "re-sealed" to me is that doesn't matter what happens to the parents (e.g. their sealing is canceled for whatever reason, neither gets sealed to a new spouse, one gets sealed to a different spouse, or whatever). In our case my wife's husband left the Church and was excommunicated. Her sealing to him was canceled and we were subsequently sealed. However, once the child is sealed (whether being born into the covenant, being a natural child who was sealed to their parents after the parents were sealed as converts, or adopted into a family and then sealed to that family) they are sealed into the "network" and stay sealed. They are sealed into the eternal family of our Father.

We tend to talk about eternal families with our children as if the nuclear family of mom, dad and their kids is static and never changes. But it changes all the time. For example, as soon as the child marries they are now sealed to their spouse, thus creating a new "family", they have children and they marry and create another family, and on and on. The "family" unit of a sealed husband and wife is what makes up the new and everlasting covenant, not the children they produce. As each child reaches maturity and enters into their own new and everlasting covenant with a spouse the "family" is increased. The next time you do sealing's in the Temple listen carefully to the words of both the sealing of a husband and wife and the sealing of children to parents. To very distinct ordinances with different promises, blessings, and conditions.

I'm not explaining it very well, but what we are really talking about is God's family, and being sealed into that linage starting with Adam and continuing down until the last child is born. Naturally there will be holes and breaks in the patriarchal chain caused by the tests of mortality, but those will all be linked together and at the end Adam will present to the Savior, and He will present to the Father, a single, complete unbroken, sealed family of God.

Another related perspective is to just ask the question, what is just? For example, will the Lord allow grandparents to lose a sealing to their grandchildren merely because parents of those children are not faithful, and somebody on earth starts shifting things around with sealings? Absolutely not.

Justice to family members will never be denied by the Lord. All things will made right. And if that means a broader concept of sealing to accommodate the making right of all the injustice of mortality, then that will be so.

[brianj]

Thank you all for your answers. The question arose in my mind last Saturday evening in the temple, when I participated in a ward sealing assignment. I am pleased to say that nine of my ancestors were sealed to their parents, and the words of that ordinance prompted the question. I know some people, one in particular, who just might try doing this as one more way of hurting their former spouse.

I lived a more straightforward example of this. My wife was previously married and sealed in the temple. Her first husband found another honey and divorced her. They had a daughter. I later married her and was sealed to her. Her ...our daughter was automatically sealed to me (she was present in the ceremony). At one level, it was sad that my wife's first husband couldn't treasure what he had... although I guess for me personally it was a blessing.

George - was the daughter brought into the sealing room and sealed to the two of you or do you mean automatically sealed because you both were sealed to the same woman?

And now I'm curious about something else: If a couple is being sealed in the temple and their children are being sealed to them, are the children permitted to observe their parents being sealed or are they brought into the room after the parents are sealed?

[paulrobots]

All,

We humans, in our pursuit of selfish desires, are sure able to take some simple concepts, and make it a difficult knot to unravel. Luckily God will be able to figure it out.

I lived a more straightforward example of this. My wife was previously married and sealed in the temple. Her first husband found another honey and divorced her. They had a daughter. I later married her and was sealed to her. Her ...our daughter was automatically sealed to me (she was present in the ceremony). At one level, it was sad that my wife's first husband couldn't treasure what he had... although I guess for me personally it was a blessing.

But generally, if the mother stays true to the course and maintains her temple covenants, the children go where she goes...

I know that some of the above examples are more twisted and tortured than mine, but I thought I might bring clarity to the general principle.

Regards,

George Clay

Bro. George, please explain "automatically sealed to me". Do you mean that you were able to get permission from her natural father so she could be (re)sealed to you and your wife? Or do you mean because she is sealed to your wife and you are sealed to your wife, you are basically sealed. Or do you mean because she was present you "feel" sealed to her. Something else?

I'm sorry, I read it a few times, and I am not sure what you meant.

[Lizzy60]

Brian,
The unendowed children, no matter their age, are brought in after the parents are sealed to each other.

[farmerchick]

I was sealed to my parents at age 5. I was brought in after my parents were sealed to each other for my sealing to them. It was awesome and I still remember it vividly!