I had my first 4 children in 4 years, and It was intense. My babies were colicky, I was very anxious. I remember taking the kids to temple square and walking all around with them. They all were melting down by the time we foolishly decided to go on a tour of the conference center. The lady giving the tour asked me how life was with all those little kids. I smiled and said, "um...yeah, we don't sleep and pretty much someone is always crying..."butterfly wrote:I don't believe it's always selfish. Doesn't God want each of His daughters to be happy? Shouldn't they have a chance to personally develop their own interests and skills? What if a woman is blessed with a knack for learning or science or medicine?Ezra wrote:I would say all those are wrong in that they are selfish.
Any way in which we put our own desires above what God has asked is wrong.
The drive for a degree is usually money worldliness. The drive for military service is usually to prove to others ones bravery strength. Not to mention most likely you will be working to fulfill a sceem of secret combination in doing so.
Turning down marriage usually is for some selfish reason. Not wanting kids same.
It's the same boat for men too.
Once a woman has children, most if not all of her personal time is gone; she is also told that this time of constant servitude, often without time to care for her own needs, is supposed to be the happiest time of her life. And while I agree, that it is very rewarding to be a mother, and I gladly chose it when I had lots of other options, I can see why many women deteriorate into nagging their husbands, depression/anxiety, and ultimately discontentment.
I think women need to feel good about being happy just as individuals and not that they can only find joy as a wife or mom.
She put her arm around me and said, "Honey, I am so proud of your for being honest. You don't know how many mothers come through here and say motherhood is bliss. It sets unreal expectations for all of us."
When I was going to college I was an illustration major and I was worried about taking care of my financial needs as a starving artist. I was surprised how many people told me not to worry about it because I was sure to get married and have a lovely family. So, in that way I think we do women a disservice (especially in LDS culture).
So...being real is the best option in my opinion. Whatever you are, be it openly Be open to god's guidance and show love for others, even if their journey looks different from yours or tradition.