Whenever you see a profanity filter substitute word here, go ahead and assume I used the original - because I did.
You say you want Zion.
Noah got drunk. Jesus, too, drank wine.
Ezekiel cooked his bread over fire using @#!!$#!% as fuel. He was originally told to use human $#!% but asked the Lord for a pass.
"Exrement." That's the translator's way of avoiding saying "$#!%." The Lord is not a pansy.Ezekiel 4
9 “Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself. You are to eat it during the 390 days you lie on your side. 10 Weigh out twenty shekelsfn of food to eat each day and eat it at set times. 11 Also measure out a sixth of a hinfn of water and drink it at set times. 12 Eat the food as you would a loaf of barley bread; bake it in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel.” 13 The LORD said, “In this way the people of Israel will eat defiled food among the nations where I will drive them.”
14 Then I said, “Not so, Sovereign LORD! I have never defiled myself. From my youth until now I have never eaten anything found dead or torn by wild animals. No impure meat has ever entered my mouth.”
15 “Very well,” he said, “I will let you bake your bread over cow dung instead of human excrement.”
This is not a fluke.Ezekiel 16
1 The word of the LORD came to me: 2 “Son of man, confront Jerusalem with her detestable practices 3 and say, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says to Jerusalem: Your ancestry and birth were in the land of the Canaanites; your father was an Amorite and your mother a Hittite. 4 On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. 5 No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.
6 “ ‘Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!”fn 7 I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked.
8 “ ‘Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine.
9 “ ‘I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. 10 I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put sandals of fine leather on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. 11 I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, 12 and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. 13 So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. 14 And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD.
15 “ ‘But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his. 16 You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. You went to him, and he possessed your beauty.fn 17 You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them. 18 And you took your embroidered clothes to put on them, and you offered my oil and incense before them. 19 Also the food I provided for you—the flour, olive oil and honey I gave you to eat—you offered as fragrant incense before them. That is what happened, declares the Sovereign LORD.
20 “ ‘And you took your sons and daughters whom you bore to me and sacrificed them as food to the idols. Was your prostitution not enough? 21 You slaughtered my children and sacrificed them to the idols. 22 In all your detestable practices and your prostitution you did not remember the days of your youth, when you were naked and bare, kicking about in your blood.
23 “ ‘Woe! Woe to you, declares the Sovereign LORD. In addition to all your other wickedness, 24 you built a mound for yourself and made a lofty shrine in every public square. 25 At every street corner you built your lofty shrines and degraded your beauty, spreading your legs with increasing promiscuity to anyone who passed by. 26 You engaged in prostitution with the Egyptians, your neighbors with large genitals, and aroused my anger with your increasing promiscuity. 27 So I stretched out my hand against you and reduced your territory; I gave you over to the greed of your enemies, the daughters of the Philistines, who were shocked by your lewd conduct. 28 You engaged in prostitution with the Assyrians too, because you were insatiable; and even after that, you still were not satisfied. 29 Then you increased your promiscuity to include Babylonia,fn a land of merchants, but even with this you were not satisfied.
Do I need to point out that even this is euphemistic language? I know damn well what he's saying, and so do you. They had huge dicks like donkeys and shot sperm like horses.Ezekiel 23
11 “Her sister Oholibah saw this, yet in her lust and prostitution she was more depraved than her sister. 12 She too lusted after the Assyrians—governors and commanders, warriors in full dress, mounted horsemen, all handsome young men. 13 I saw that she too defiled herself; both of them went the same way.
14 “But she carried her prostitution still further. She saw men portrayed on a wall, figures of Chaldeansfn portrayed in red, 15 with belts around their waists and flowing turbans on their heads; all of them looked like Babylonian chariot officers, natives of Chaldea.fn 16 As soon as she saw them, she lusted after them and sent messengers to them in Chaldea. 17 Then the Babylonians came to her, to the bed of love, and in their lust they defiled her. After she had been defiled by them, she turned away from them in disgust. 18 When she carried on her prostitution openly and exposed her naked body, I turned away from her in disgust, just as I had turned away from her sister. 19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. 20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. 21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.fn
If cursing, vulgarity, or profanity is your pet peeve, you are not going to like Zion much - the Lord and holy prophets live there. They weren't shy about using epithets, either. The Lord frequently called people fools, and both Jesus and John, the Baptist, referred to the prim, proper, decent Pharisaical class as "sons of vipers," roughly the equivalent of sons of &!@$#%$.
Oh, but what about propriety? What about "being nice?" What about "being kind?" What about "fitting in?" Surely there's going to be some heavenly moderators enforcing decorum?
No, probably not, actually. If nudity is a problem for you, you will not care for the presence of a prophet.
And what about nice, serene conversation? Surely with all the drunken, nude, vulgar and profane behavior, surely there will at least be serenity, right?Isaiah 20
3 Then the LORD said, “Just as my servant Isaiah has gone stripped and barefoot for three years, as a sign and portent against Egypt and Cush,fn 4 so the king of Assyria will lead away stripped and barefoot the Egyptian captives and Cushite exiles, young and old, with buttocks bared—to Egypt’s shame. 5 Those who trusted in Cush and boasted in Egypt will be dismayed and put to shame. 6 In that day the people who live on this coast will say, ‘See what has happened to those we relied on, those we fled to for help and deliverance from the king of Assyria! How then can we escape?’ ”
Probably not, actually.
So public nudity, profanity, rough language, blatant and explicit sexual references, drinking, and who knows what else may well be found in Zion. The question is, with all your self-righteous prim propriety, will you be found in Zion? Or are you yet so intolerant you cannot even endure the verbal expression of these things?Moses 6
37 And it came to pass that Enoch went forth in the land, among the people, standing upon the hills and the high places, and cried with a loud voice, testifying against their works; and all men were offended because of him.
38 And they came forth to hear him, upon the high places, saying unto the tent-keepers: Tarry ye here and keep the tents, while we go yonder to behold the seer, for he prophesieth, and there is a strange thing in the land; a wild man hath come among us.
I think you really want someone to preach to you. I think you want religion, a matter of outward forms and social propriety, a matter of the philosophies of men, mingled with scripture, something nice and proper, something that doesn't cause waves. I think you want someone to justify you in your pride, your sins, and your intolerance.The world always mistook false prophets for true ones, and those that were sent of God, they considered to be false prophets and hence they killed, stoned, punished and imprisoned the true prophets, and these had to hide themselves "in deserts and dens, and caves of the earth," and though the most honorable men of the earth, they banished them from their society as vagabonds, whilst they cherished, honored and supported knaves, vagabonds, hypocrites, impostors, and the basest of men. - Joseph Smith
I think you want a religion of forms rather than discipline. I think you want to fly the flag of Christ without doing his works. I think you contend and dispute so you can avoid doing those things the Lord asked. I think you're not so interested in being the Lord's disciples as you are in being seen to be on the right "team," or believing the right "doctrines," or enforcing the right "rules."
You say you want Zion. You say you want prophets who prophesy, and sigh after the gifts from heaven not being in evidence among the Brethren. From what I've seen, I don't think you'd like what you'd get; I think you'd cast out them whom you are sent, stone them, and slay them, all in the name of propriety, kindness, and common decency.
You can't even tolerate me. What will you do when you get what you say you want?