Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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Why LDS Millennials Aren't Marrying, "We’re scared."

Many LDS millennials listed marriage as an important priority and goal. The problem? ... "We’re scared ... We’re willing to commit. We just don’t want to commit to the wrong thing."

"We want to be madly in love. We dream of the total package. We long to marry with complete assurance that we’re making the right choice. We want to reduce the risk of watching our marriages fail, a scene most of us have likely seen all too often. We scrutinize every possible choice until there seems to be no choices left. We want to be sure."

Combined with the advent of social media and texting, pressure from all sides, and a righteous desire to find the right person and start a happy marriage, it’s no wonder millennials feel the need to play it safe.

"Who we marry is one of the most important decisions we will ever make; we need to place great weight on the choice and choose carefully. But when we swing to the extreme, paralyzing ourselves in an effort to stay emotionally safe, we are likely missing the opportunities we are so desperately seeking for."

http://www.ldsdaily.com/home-and-family ... he-church/

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Robin Hood
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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Darren wrote: March 2nd, 2017, 7:30 am Image

Why LDS Millennials Aren't Marrying, "We’re scared."

Many LDS millennials listed marriage as an important priority and goal. The problem? ... "We’re scared ... We’re willing to commit. We just don’t want to commit to the wrong thing."

"We want to be madly in love. We dream of the total package. We long to marry with complete assurance that we’re making the right choice. We want to reduce the risk of watching our marriages fail, a scene most of us have likely seen all too often. We scrutinize every possible choice until there seems to be no choices left. We want to be sure."

Combined with the advent of social media and texting, pressure from all sides, and a righteous desire to find the right person and start a happy marriage, it’s no wonder millennials feel the need to play it safe.

"Who we marry is one of the most important decisions we will ever make; we need to place great weight on the choice and choose carefully. But when we swing to the extreme, paralyzing ourselves in an effort to stay emotionally safe, we are likely missing the opportunities we are so desperately seeking for."

http://www.ldsdaily.com/home-and-family ... he-church/
Analysis paralysis.

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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Why Muslims are the world’s fastest-growing religious group

The main reasons for Islam’s growth ultimately involve simple demographics. To begin with, Muslims have more children than members of the seven other major religious groups analyzed in the study.

The growth of the Muslim population also is helped by the fact that Muslims have the youngest median age (23 in 2010) of all major religious groups, seven years younger than the median age of non-Muslims (30). A larger share of Muslims will soon be at the point in their lives when people begin having children. This, combined with high fertility rates, will accelerate Muslim population growth.

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Meanwhile, religious switching, which is expected to hinder the growth of some other religious groups, is not expected to have a negative net impact on Muslims. By contrast, between 2010 and 2050, Christianity is projected to have a net loss of more than 60 million adherents worldwide through religious switching.

http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/20 ... ous-group/

Culture of Marriage Struggling in 2017

Census Bureau data shows that since 1960, the overall percentage of American men who are married has declined from 70 percent to 55 percent. Certainly, increased rates of divorce account for some of the decline, but the percentage of divorced men in 2016 was almost the same as it was in 1990 (under 10 percent). Moreover, the percentage of American men who have never married has risen from 30 percent in 1990 to over 35 percent in 2016. The data on American women during the same period shows very similar patterns.

The median age at first marriage for American men and women also has skyrocketed since about 1975 when it was about age 23 for men and 21 years for women. By 2016, the median age at first marriage was almost 30 years of age for men, and almost 28 years for women. Both men and women are postponing marriage.

That represents a dramatic change. For nearly a century, from 1890 to about 1990, the median age at first marriage had remained relatively stable at between 23-26 years for American men, and 20-22 years for American women. Since 1990, in just a quarter-century, the median ages at first marriage have risen nearly four years for both men and women. Thus, the median marriage age has risen much more for both men and women in the past quarter-century than in nearly the entire prior century. Clearly, contemporary American young adults are postponing and delaying marriage in almost unprecedented numbers and rates.

Today, in many contemporary societies and subcultures, marriage is considered by many to be merely one of many equally valid, equally legitimate, equally desirable lifestyle options. In some subcultures, marriage has gone from having a status of high respect to being a less desirable or undesirable condition (due to loss of independence and the burdens of service that come with the marital duty of meeting the needs of others, such as spouse and children).

In many ways, it seems that marriage is losing social status, and popular respect for marriage seems to be dwindling in America. For many persons, marriage has gone from being considered a marker of maturity, responsibility, and a respectable status to being a burdensome condition to be avoided for as long as possible.

As the status of marriage declines, the number and rates of marriages drop, the timing of marriages is delayed, and the rate of non-marital births and childrearing rises. Over time, that results in more children being born and raised in the more difficult, disadvantaged circumstances outside of marital families. That also results in more unstable adult intimate relationships, more domestic violence, more personal distress for adults, and (especially) more suffering for children.

By unduly delaying marriage and engaging in sexual relations out of marriage, the burdens and impediments of non-marital sexual relations and childrearing are passed on to the next generation. Our children and grandchildren and on for three or four generations carry the stigma and the disadvantages bequeathed to them by parents and ancestors who avoided marriage.

Of course, the United States is not alone in this plight. Many other affluent, liberal-democratic nations are experiencing a crisis in the declining status, strength, reputation and integrity of marriage and marital families. Nonmarital sexual relations, nonmarital cohabitation, and nonmarital childbearing are increasing significantly as the results of postponed marriage.

Sadly, research confirms that the deterioration of the social status and desirability of marriage and marital family life are harbingers of future problems and distress for individuals (especially for children), as well as of chaos for families and societies. It behooves the current generations of American adults to identify strategies and initiate palliative actions which might revive and restore a culture of marriage in contemporary American society. We can only rebuild a family-friendly nation by making marriage great again!

http://www.cnsnews.com/commentary/lynn- ... es-america

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Sirocco
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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I don't think the current generation cares about marriage to make it great again, they seem more interested in crazy feminism and the like lol

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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Elder Andersen Shares Four Important Words about Marriage
16 February 2017

Elder Andersen said that of his generation 81 percent believe in God, compared to a current 64 percent for Millennials. Of Elder Andersen’s generation, 74 percent believe that Jesus is God or the Son of God compared to Millennials at 58 percent. He said that 72 percent of his generation believe in the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, while only 55 percent of Millennials believe in that doctrine.

“Your days are a time of sifting in the Church,” Elder Andersen said. “It will be very important for your eternal welfare that, as the Apostle Paul said, you are grounded, rooted, established, and settled in spiritual things.

Elder Andersen encouraged those who are not married to be courageous in their process of finding their spouse.

“Push yourself to develop one-on-one friendships—young men with young women, and young women with young men,” he said. “You don’t need to think every friendship will necessarily develop into romance, but much will be discovered in the one-on-one interaction. … Group activities are not sufficient.”

Elder Andersen encouraged listeners to not be afraid to “take a chance with someone who might not be an obvious choice.”

Sharing his own experience, Elder Andersen spoke of his wife, Sister Kathy Williams Andersen, whom he noticed for being a person of very deep faith and intelligence, but also for her “certain sophistication.” He is grateful she took a chance on an “Idaho farm boy.”

“We don’t have to only meet those who come from backgrounds just like our own,” he said. “We look deeper and farther into who they are and who they will become.”

Key to a good relationship is complete honesty and unselfish humility, the Apostle taught.

“As you progress in your dating to seriously considering sharing your lives together, you share your most private thoughts, your dreams, and your fears,” he said. “You share who you are, who you have been, and who you want to become. Complete honesty and unselfish humility.

Elder Andersen closed by mentioning his wife of almost 42 years.

“At your age, we became grounded, rooted, and settled,” he said. “Whatever came, we would face it together. Our life has not been without challenges that sometimes seemed as big as mountains. But through these many years we have loved our Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ, and we have loved one another.”

https://www.lds.org/church/news/elder-a ... e?lang=eng

What it really boils down to is to sell the true culture to our young men and young women. What good does it do to save the constitution if the young people don't know how to live by it?

God Bless,
Darren

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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Delaying Marriage: The Trends and the Consequences
Ensign - March 2017
By Jason S. Carroll, PhD
Professor in the School of Family Life, Brigham Young University

Shifting priorities in society often “call evil good, and good evil,” leading many to postpone the blessings of marriage.

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We learn from “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” that “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.” Unfortunately, the priority of marriage is declining in society as more people view it as simply a couple relationship or a personal life choice rather than a divine institution created by God for our eternal progression and happiness.

Over the past few decades, the age of marriage has been rising in every region of the world for both women and men. In many developed nations we’re approaching the point where more than half of marriages will occur after age 30. In social science circles, this pattern of delaying marriage is typically viewed as progress and talked about positively. However, it is resulting in some troubling trends in coupling patterns and family stability, challenging the assumption that delayed marriage is always a positive thing. Perhaps most importantly, the increase in age of marriage across the world has been associated with a rising number of children being born outside of the bonds of marriage. And couples who are not married and have a child in their 20s are three times more likely to break up before their child’s fifth birthday than are married couples.

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Several of the key arguments in favor of intentionally delaying marriage are paradoxical. A paradox is a proposition which, despite apparently sound reasoning from acceptable premises, leads to a conclusion that seems logically unacceptable or self-contradictory. These “marriage-preparation paradoxes” are like turning a jar lid the wrong direction: you may believe you’re trying to loosen the lid to get what you want, but you’re actually turning it the wrong way and making the lid tighter.

Most of those who engage in the marriage-preparation paradoxes that I will mention are not doing so as part of the abandonment of marriage but because they believe these actions will actually strengthen their future marriages. The Book of Mormon warns against this type of paradoxical logic, saying there will be those “that call evil good, and good evil, that put darkness for light, and light for darkness, that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter” (2 Nephi 15:20). Thus, as a result of such paradoxical logic, many young adults are intentionally delaying marriage and are preparing for marriage in ways that are actually producing the opposite of what they intend.

Following are three prevalent marriage-preparation paradoxes that are widely embraced across the world.
1. The Cohabitation Paradox

One common marriage-preparation paradox is the cohabitation paradox. Many young people are attracted to cohabitation prior to marriage because they believe that it acts as a “test drive.” It is supposedly a way to lessen the risk and chance of divorce. In fact, many of our best and brightest minds in the social sciences back in the 1980s were claiming that we would see a huge reduction in the divorce rate because of the increase in cohabitation. They believed cohabitation would act as a sort of Darwinian “survival of the fittest” mechanism that would weed out the weak relationships and only the strongest would survive into marriage—and divorce rates would thereby decline. This line of thinking is widely believed to be logical. On the surface, the test-drive idea sounds quite logical—you wouldn’t buy a car without test-driving it, right?

But that principle doesn’t apply to marriage, and it doesn’t fit the Lord’s pattern. The Lord has made it clear where He stands on this issue. As the Apostle Paul said, “It is the will of God … that ye should abstain from fornication” (1 Thessalonians 4:3; see also 1 Corinthians 6:18; Alma 39:5). The Lord’s wisdom is greater than that of the world. As a second witness of this truth, over 30 years of studies have shown that the opposite of what researchers had anticipated is true: cohabitation before marriage has historically been associated with greater odds of divorce. And while some of the newer studies show that there may be a weakening of this association, no study to date has ever shown cohabitation to act as a buffer against divorce.

The numbers demonstrate that despite cohabitation in the name of strengthening a relationship, “happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
2. The “Sowing Wild Oats” Paradox

A second paradox is the “sowing wild oats” paradox. In my research on young adults, I have often heard many say that the young adult stage of life is the time to experiment sexually and to “eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die” (see 2 Nephi 28:7). After all, don’t you need to “get this out of your system”? The claim is that such an approach is supposed to help people be ready eventually to “settle down” in marriage.

But a growing body of evidence shows us that quite the opposite is happening.6 What we see is that such patterns do not get promiscuity “out of your system,” but rather they get unchaste attitudes and behaviors into one’s system—which doesn’t help anyone want to settle down. Dozens of studies have shown that those with higher patterns of sexual promiscuity and more sexual partners actually have a higher likelihood of divorce, not lower, when they marry. Again, a paradox—the apparent logic doesn’t fit and doesn’t work.

The “sexual chemistry” paradox is an extension of this distorted way of thinking. This is the belief that one needs to test sexual chemistry within a relationship—that the couple shouldn’t move to later stages of commitment until they’ve tested and made sure that the chemistry is a strong and compatible part of their relationship.

Again the research shows that a pattern of sexual restraint—keeping sexual relations within the full commitment of marriage—creates patterns where we see higher-quality marriages and less risk of these relationships dissolving.
3. The “Older Is Better” Paradox

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The age of marriage in the United States has been rising steadily since 1970, and in 1980 women passed the previous historical high, a benchmark reached by men 10 years later.

All of this can be tied together in the “older is better” paradox. Too many young people today are growing up with the view that marriage is a transition of loss rather than a transition of gain. Because of this, they see their young adult years as a time to focus on themselves—to get ahead before getting wed.

A number of years ago I worked as a visiting scholar for the National Healthy Marriage Resource Center in Oklahoma, USA. We conducted focus groups all across the country. In these focus groups, the twentysomethings frequently talked about how marriage would ultimately take things away from them. They said they would be losing things like freedom and individuality and failed to realize how marriage can be a transition of gain. In short, they widely believed that marriage takes more than it gives.

The interesting contrast is that we also interviewed twentysomething married couples and they consistently talked about all the benefits that had come into their lives because of being married. Dozens of studies have documented the emotional, physical, economic, and sexual benefits that lasting marriage brings to individuals and society as a whole.

The Apostle Paul has taught what you and I have to gain from marriage: “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Corinthians 11:11). God made man and woman to complement each other (see Genesis 2:18). He created us to bless, help, and learn from one another in our quest for perfection. He doesn’t expect us to become perfect before we get married in order to have a successful marriage. In fact, expecting perfection in oneself or a future spouse sets a marriage up for struggle. President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency, has taught, “Since you won’t find perfection in your partner, and your partner won’t find it in you, your only chance at perfection is in creating perfection together.”

Rather than selecting arbitrary ages of when marriages will be most successful, we need to start teaching and fostering a culture of real maturation and marriage readiness and teach the real foundational factors that we know to be the key elements of successful marriages. Religious faith, commitment, relationship skills, healthy sexuality, and personal maturity have proven to be some of these foundational factors. When young people have come to understand and develop these skills, that is the time they ought to move forward with marriage.
Marriage Forgone

Finally, in addition to these paradoxes, we are seeing the forgoing of marriage altogether for a growing segment of society rather than just a delay of it. That’s a dramatic social change with implications not only for one’s personal spiritual progress but also for society and the economy.

The Doctrine and Covenants teaches us that temple marriage is necessary to receive exaltation:

“In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;

“And in order to obtain the highest, a man [and a woman] must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]” (D&C 131:1–2; see also 49:15–16).

Thus, as the Lord’s pattern for the family is altered and marriage is redefined or abandoned altogether, we’re starting to see patterns of family instability and decreased child well-being. As the wisdom of the world calls “evil good, and good evil,” we would do well to look to the Lord’s pattern for preparing for a righteous marriage and strengthening the family as the fundamental unit of society.

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/03/youn ... s?lang=eng

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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Cultural judgments involving missionaries persist
February 7, 2017 by Abby Hay, Kjersten Johnson

With President Thomas S. Monson’s 2012 announcement changing the minimum age requirement for missionaries, the pressure to serve earlier has become stronger. Many women also say they feel more judgment and pressure to serve missions. ...

Two of Doty-Yells’ four children returned home early from their missions. Doty-Yells wanted to understand her sons, students and others better, so she conducted a survey in 2012 of 348 early-returned missionaries. ...

LDS women have reported feeling pressured to serve missions following the LDS Church’s 2012 announcement that the minimum age requirement for sister missionaries had been lowered to 19. (Maddi Dayton)

Doty-Yells said several early-returned missionaries feel judged in their wards and families when they come home. Many of them feel people are treating them with a “what-are-you-doing-here” attitude, Doty-Yells said.

Mary Blackner served in the Alabama Birmingham Mission from June 2013 to March 2014. Blackner had planned on serving a mission since she was young. During her mission, she started getting depressed and didn’t feel like herself anymore. She said she couldn’t eat or sleep and started getting terrible headaches.

“I started praying more and studying more and trying to be happy, but nothing really worked,” Blackner said. “(It was a concern) what people would think, but it was also that feeling of failure and wondering why, and seeing other missionaries that weren’t obedient or didn’t want to be there, and they were totally fine and having success. … So it was just really frustrating and a feeling of defeat more than anything.”

Having those feelings of failure and defeat were difficult enough, Blackner said, without the added judgment and pressure. But Blackner said she didn’t feel much judgment once she returned home to University Place, Washington.

It wasn’t like she had a broken leg everyone could see, Blackner said, but her ward members could see she wasn’t herself and were understanding.

“It wasn’t until I came back to school where I kind of felt that,” she said. “And I just felt uncomfortable about it, because I was like, ‘Well, I don’t want to tell them the whole story,’ but you couldn’t just lie. I couldn’t change the dates.”

Once Blackner arrived home, she focused on herself and things that helped her relieve stress, like playing the piano, reading and talking to her mom.

“I could run away from the rest of the world and just go to those things,” Blackner said. I think that was the biggest thing: just relying on the people that were closest to me that did understand.”

Blackner said she now feels blessed to be able to help so many more people because of what she went through — something her mission president’s wife said would happen. Blackner worked as a resident assistant for a long time and said she was able to help women who had depression and anxiety.

“I feel like I would’ve been one of those judgmental people if I hadn’t dealt with it,” Blackner said. “I guess it turned out to be a blessing even though I never would’ve wished it upon myself.”

Doty-Yells said it’s important to make a distinction between the church and the culture of the area.

“It isn’t the church that’s persecuting these kids or judging these kids,” she said. “But most of it is from the family and the ward family and the neighborhood and everything else. It’s all about the culture.”

http://universe.byu.edu/2017/02/07/morm ... ionaries1/

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brianj
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by brianj »

Darren wrote: March 3rd, 2017, 9:40 am The growth of the Muslim population also is helped by the fact that Muslims have the youngest median age (23 in 2010) of all major religious groups, seven years younger than the median age of non-Muslims (30). A larger share of Muslims will soon be at the point in their lives when people begin having children. This, combined with high fertility rates, will accelerate Muslim population growth.

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I don't think it will be as bad as forecast here. The more that Muslim women are exposed to feminism through the internet and mass media, the lower birth rates go. There has already been a significant decline in most of the Muslim world. This is even happening in Afghanistan, where the average woman had eight children in the 1990s but that had fallen to five by 2010.

The growth of Islam because of more babies being born will continue for some time, but thankfully the poison of feminism is doing more to reduce their birth rate than anything else the modern world has thrown at Islam.

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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Especially For Young Women
Feminism And Falling Birth Rates

In one of my recent pieces - Say Goodbye To Your Country - I stated that feminism was responsible for the catastrophically low birth rates in the indigenous populations of western countries ...

Let me put it this way. Nature designed women to reproduce. That is the purpose of them. Their brains were genetically configured by Nature to love their babies and to want to have them. But something has changed their minds. Who or what did this?

Feminists.

And how did they do it?

... feminism has generated huge forces that operate through many avenues in western countries, and we do all know that it has shoved its nose very deeply into all sorts of areas to do with relationships, marriage, children etc etc.

We also know that people are unwilling to blame feminism for anything, and that they are forever hiding any data that might lead us to point our fingers at it.

... about the year 2000 when I first realised that feminists had no real concern for women. I stumbled upon an article by two American gynaecologists who were complaining about the fact that no editor in a mainstream women's media publication would publish well-established findings that showed that many tens of of thousands of women every year were destroying their chances of ever reproducing because they were delaying too long to have babies.

Their claim was that in order to encourage as many women as possible to embark upon careers, feminists did not want women to know that they stood a good chance of missing their reproductive opportunities if they did this.

In other words, they didn't want their women readers to have children. And they had a huge influence on these women. And, overall, they have helped to bias the psychology of women in favour of having fewer children. We know that they did this. ...

As such, those who promote feminism are probably promoting the actual extinction of their very own peoples and cultures.

http://www.angryharry.com/Feminism-And- ... -Rates.htm
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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dang.

brianj
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by brianj »

Darren wrote: March 7th, 2017, 8:50 am ... about the year 2000 when I first realised that feminists had no real concern for women. I stumbled upon an article by two American gynaecologists who were complaining about the fact that no editor in a mainstream women's media publication would publish well-established findings that showed that many tens of of thousands of women every year were destroying their chances of ever reproducing because they were delaying too long to have babies.

Their claim was that in order to encourage as many women as possible to embark upon careers, feminists did not want women to know that they stood a good chance of missing their reproductive opportunities if they did this.

In other words, they didn't want their women readers to have children. And they had a huge influence on these women. And, overall, they have helped to bias the psychology of women in favour of having fewer children. We know that they did this. ...

As such, those who promote feminism are probably promoting the actual extinction of their very own peoples and cultures.
I don't believe this. It ascribes far more intelligence and advanced planning capabilities to feminist leaders than they really seem to have. Feminists are idiots who are unknowingly serving Satan, looking at right now or maybe tomorrow but ignoring what will happen years down the road.

I can't blame feminists for the declining birth rates. I believe they really were stupid enough to completely believe the nonsense the were peddling: that women could go to college, graduate, get a great job and work their way up the corporate ladder for a decade or so then find an endless supply of single men who are attracted to them and have such a high income that they can support her in the lifestyle she's accustomed to as she has and raises two children.

The reality is that the guys who will be good husbands marry before these silly women decide they are ready to look for a husband. Middle age men who are single and have the income these women are looking for will use their wealth and status to marry a woman in her 20s who has a decade before her looks start to seriously decline and her eggs start to spoil. Those women are destined to become bitter old spinsters, angry that they didn't get what they felt entitled to and forever refusing to accept that it's their fault for wanting unrealistic things.

Promoters of feminism are promoting the extinction of their cultures and societies, but they aren't doing so knowingly. They are minions to Satan and they don't even know it.

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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by BackBlast »

brianj wrote: March 8th, 2017, 3:13 pm I don't believe this. It ascribes far more intelligence and advanced planning capabilities to feminist leaders than they really seem to have. Feminists are idiots who are unknowingly serving Satan, looking at right now or maybe tomorrow but ignoring what will happen years down the road.
It is a common reaction to blame stupidity rather than deliberate knowing evil for trends in modern society. Movements like this one were deliberate and show clear long term planning to achieve the goals and ends. This kind of change is multi generational is scope. These leaders in question may not represent the most vocal and prominent advocates of the life style, you may well be correct about that group. The real planners are probably seldom seen or heard, but I believe that they had some clear goals in mind and this plan is generally fulfilling those goals. I agree that the organization among mortals is nothing compared to the spiritual opposition.

brianj
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by brianj »

BackBlast wrote: March 9th, 2017, 10:48 am
brianj wrote: March 8th, 2017, 3:13 pm I don't believe this. It ascribes far more intelligence and advanced planning capabilities to feminist leaders than they really seem to have. Feminists are idiots who are unknowingly serving Satan, looking at right now or maybe tomorrow but ignoring what will happen years down the road.
It is a common reaction to blame stupidity rather than deliberate knowing evil for trends in modern society. Movements like this one were deliberate and show clear long term planning to achieve the goals and ends. This kind of change is multi generational is scope. These leaders in question may not represent the most vocal and prominent advocates of the life style, you may well be correct about that group. The real planners are probably seldom seen or heard, but I believe that they had some clear goals in mind and this plan is generally fulfilling those goals. I agree that the organization among mortals is nothing compared to the spiritual opposition.
The million dollar question is: Do the leaders of these groups know who they work for and what the long game really is? We don't know, and we obviously disagree. I firmly believe that these people only see their near term goals and not Satan's long game.

BackBlast
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by BackBlast »

brianj wrote: March 9th, 2017, 3:40 pm
The million dollar question is: Do the leaders of these groups know who they work for and what the long game really is? We don't know, and we obviously disagree. I firmly believe that these people only see their near term goals and not Satan's long game.
That's an interesting question, and one I really can't answer. You may well be right.

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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I Didn’t Serve a Mission, and It’s OK

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By
Jenna Crowther -
Mar 16, 2017

I was 18 and in my senior year of high school when President Thomas S. Monson stood at the pulpit in Saturday morning General Conference and said “Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21.”

I was busy that day, running in a cross country race. There was no moment of cheering and crying and running to the phone to call the bishop as soon as I heard. I was sweaty, tired, and too busy trying to recover after a hard race and its aftermath to give the news more than a passing “That’s cool.”

Serving a mission was never something I’d thought about before. Twenty-one seemed so old — I feel some embarrassment for the thought now that I’ve left 21 behind — and I was applying to colleges and figuring out scholarships for the next year. The age change was another thing I had to figure out now because it affected my future.

So as classmates my age started their papers and younger friends talked about how excited they were to go out and serve, I didn’t do anything. I’d never felt an extreme desire to serve when I was younger, and the announcement didn’t put a passion in me either. I wanted to follow what the Lord had planned for my life. But I had made plans that I thought were in line with what He had in mind.

Eventually — within a week or so — I thought about it. I said a prayer. And I decided I wasn’t going to go on a mission.

Years later, I don’t regret that decision. College was good for me. I made good friends, went through hard things, and learned what I wanted to do with my life. I moved away from home, and transferred schools, and figured out how to be an adult. Basically I grew up.

Of the seven girls on my varsity cross country team, the one that was running a race when the announcement was made, I was one of only two who did not serve a mission.

I didn’t know that I was going to be an exception to the norm.

For girls turning 19, the pressure to serve a mission is surprisingly intense. It’s the so-called “next step”: go to high school (with seminary), mission, college, marriage. Wrap it up with a bow and call it your life. But that expectation raises problems later in life for girls who didn’t follow the “standard” path. Girls who don’t want to serve a mission shouldn’t feel pressured to do so.

Missions are good, don’t get me wrong! They are just not for everyone.

That day in October 2012, President Monson said, “Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21.”

To be able to serve suggests that you can withstand the emotional and physical rigors a mission will require. Some people, boys or girls, can’t. To go on a full 2-year or 18 month mission would overwhelm them. If they can’t, then it’s okay.
To be worthy to serve implies that you can enter the temple and take out your endowment. It’s a full commitment. Preventing those who aren’t worthy from taking it is meant to be protective and not exclusive. If you aren’t worthy, going to the temple and making those sacred covenants will do more harm to your soul than good. You definitely need the blessings of the endowment for a mission.
Finally: “who have the desire to serve.” For young men, it is based on commandment. But for young women, it is based on their own personal desire to serve the Lord through a mission. Missions can be powerful and life changing, and I am a huge fan of all the sister missionaries who have served and will serve. That is their desire.

Remember that personal revelation is, well, personal. Whether or not a young woman serves a mission is between her and the Lord. We as a culture need to step away from the idea that the answer to the question “Should I serve a mission?” is always going to be yes. Maybe it’s no. Maybe it’s more along the lines of “It’s your decision.”

The Lord has ways of teaching us and helping us grow no matter where we find ourselves. A young woman can struggle, learn, fail, and succeed while in college, or while doing humanitarian work, or while traveling the world, just as much as she could on a mission, but through different experiences. For some, a mission is not the next step, it’s another possibility.

Missions aren’t a guarantee of success in the future either.

Plenty of returned missionaries find fault with church doctrine or leaders and leave. Plenty of people who have never served missions grow into amazing spiritual leaders (i.e. President Monson). Indeed, serving a mission doesn’t guarantee someone will be a spiritual person or even a Latter-day Saint at all. You can’t base spirituality on a missionary tag.

In the end, the decision whether to serve a mission is between you and the Lord. The important thing is that you are following the Lord’s counsel and preparing to make covenants in the temple.

What do you think of the pressure young women feel to serve a mission? Let us know in the comments below!
https://mormonhub.com/blog/hasten/missi ... e-mission/


Ironhold
In the end, the decision whether to serve a mission is between you and the Lord.
...But the consequences of not serving are another matter entirely.

Prepare to have people question your moral character for not serving, and also prepare for a lifetime of loneliness, snide remarks, and second-guessing yourself.
RabidTurtle
I see a lot of young women especially who do feel a lot of pressure to serve missions, but maybe that is a good thing. Let me disambiguate my thoughts because I do not intend to offend those who chose not to serve. I'll separate my thought based on lines I hear all the time.

1. "I prayed and was told not to go! You can't receive revelation for me."- while it is true that personal revelation is private, I find it hard to believe that the 50% of young women not going on missions are all receiving strong answers NOT TO GO! I think most of them realize and are reassured that it is OKAY if they choose not to go and that things will work out.

2."missions are good but they aren't for everybody!"-wait how do you know that, you have never been? I believe the lessons a hard working, faithful missionary learns in his/her service can't be learned to the same measure elsewhere. People who don't serve don't get how hard missions really are. And I do think everyone can benefit from a mission and can help the Lord's work. I do acknowledge that many people can't physically, mentally, or emotionally serve. But wait for it....

3. "I don't desire to serve" or "I've never wanted to serve!"-how sad is that? You've been blessed with the gospel in your life and have had so many good things happen because of that, yet you've never wanted to show the Lord your appreciation through a mission?
estradling75
I find it really surprising to hear that someone believes that most young women should serve a mission.

http://media2.ldscdn.org/assets/scriptu ... nload=true

We are talking about women here. Too many think they need to be super human and do everything and anything. So it is not surprising to me that even though it is offered as an option that women can take if they want... That many hear that as "Must Serve"

Good thing I don't feel the need to validate my reason to not serve a mission. Not sure any reason I would come up with would be approved of.
BeccaKirstyn
I don't think any validation or explanation is needed by a woman as to why they chose to not serve a mission, yet women feel the need to explain because of these very judgments. For myself I don't care what anyone thinks of my reason not to serve. But if I chose to explain that decision with any one of the three "lines" listed above I would be less concerned with what you said and more concerned with why you're judging my reasoning. At the end of the day, it is between that woman and the Lord. Whether or not the decision was come to mutually or individually, that is also between that woman and the Lord. Not the observer who has their own opinion on their reason to not serve, which is unwarranted.
https://mormonhub.com/forums/topic/6128 ... 80%99s-ok/

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JK4Woods
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by JK4Woods »

We had a bishop (for seven long years) who would not call any woman as president of Primary, Young Women or Relief Society who hadn't served a mission. Said returned sister missionaries are "trained and have experience to hear the voice of the Lord and whisperings of the Spirit".
(Wouldn't recommend anyone to the Stake level either).

(Because of this policy, we had a long sequence of "the same ten people" rotating around all the leadership callings in the ward. Only when he was released, and ward boundaries shifted and two new wards created within our stake, that the ill effects of this policy somewhat diminished).

He also wouldn't let his children marry anyone but a returned missionary.
Now he's now watching one of his sons marry a 19 yr. old daughter of a doctor, who hasn't been on a mission.
Everyone around here can only wonder whether there will be any overt (or subtle) discrimination towards the young girl marrying his son.

Peer pressure is a tremendous force. Lots of people get out on their mission and then come home early. We had three young men over the last five years return early. Sadly, one took his own life because of the shame.

In my own experience, I was the old man of the mission... going out when 24 and coming home at 26... (but that was because of joining the church when in the Army and having to complete my enlistment before I could go). I could see a lot of religous fervor among the young 19 yr olds, before they settled down after a year and a half.

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by Darren »

Millennials in the Church are Forgoing Marriage and Babies

LDS Woman Issued A White Baby Challenge
Gets Nothing but Hate
March 19, 2017
Ayla, known as Wife With a Purpose on Twitter, issued a White baby challenge in response to Steve King's statement, "We can't restore civilization with other people's babies." She talks about her tweet, the hate she received from anti-White bigots and why Steve King is right.
https://twitter.com/apurposefulwife?lang=en

When will it be normal in our church for a young women to say that she will not be going on a mission because that is not part of traditional Mormon culture? Instead of having to defend her choice for a traditional women's roll?

Why don't we raise back up the age for young women to serve missions and have them focus instead on replacing the dwindling population of what was typically seen as the Children of Ephraim and as the culture known as the tribes of Israel. How about instead of serving a mission at 19, the goal is to have 5-6 children before a young woman is beyond healthy child bearing years.

The future of the Church, and the culture of truth, lives or dies upon the birth-rate competition.

LET THE BABY BOOM BEGIN.

God Bless,
Darren

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by Darren »

What is more important for our young women, to spend 5 - 10 years in extended adolescence, or to have babies while they are young?
Does the Mormon Culture have a "Homeland," if so how are we doing in maintaining that culture upon that homeland?

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by Darren »

An Answer That Was Hard to Accept
By Bethany Bartholomew
Church Magazines - Ensign, April 2017
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2017/04/youn ... t?lang=eng

The historic announcement had been made lowering the age that young women could serve missions, and thousands had been called. Over the next two years, I would see many friends leave to serve the Lord as full-time sister missionaries.

Caught up in the excitement, I wondered if I should serve too. I knew it would be hard, but I admired those sisters who courageously served away from their families for 18 months, sometimes learning an unfamiliar language.

But after I prayed and fasted, I felt that I shouldn’t go.

I had tried to be humble and follow the Lord’s plan for me, and I was relieved to have an answer. But then my friends started returning from their missions, and I saw the incredible blessings in their lives because of their service. They all seemed different—in a good way. I loved having spiritual conversations with my roommates who had served missions, and I loved hearing mission experiences in Church.

However, I found myself feeling a little jealous. Wasn’t I good enough to have those same experiences? I wondered if maybe I hadn’t listened well enough when I prayed about a mission.

I prayed and fasted some more. Again the answer: Not right now.

I tried to move forward, trusting I had received God’s answer, but it wasn’t long before doubt set in again. It felt like young men were noticing the amazing changes I was seeing in my friends as well. Certainly I had had amazing spiritual experiences through callings, college, and work, but I began to feel like I had to compete with the mission stories and experiences—and I couldn’t even keep the difference between a zone and a district straight in my mind.

I even heard about young men who said they wouldn’t marry a young woman who hadn’t served a mission. I started to panic. Was that why some of the guys I had gone out with recently had lost interest in me after just a few dates?

In desperation I prayed again. Still, I felt that I shouldn’t go.

It was so hard to accept. For a time I felt like everyone around me was either going on a mission or getting married and that I was stuck in some kind of in-between space. At one point I even felt that I should go on a mission. I started to prepare. I even canceled my contract for an apartment I was going to move into with one of my best friends. But just a few days later, I felt strongly once again that Heavenly Father was asking me to wait.

Trying hard to act in faith instead of fear or frustration, I decided to evaluate why I wanted to serve. Did I want to go for the right reasons? Did I want to go so I could become more “datable”? Was it to see miracles or for self-improvement? Did I want to serve Jesus Christ and bring people to Him? Was the mission I wanted so much for Him or for me?

I fasted and prayed for the courage to be willing to grow through the experiences that Heavenly Father had planned for me if I wasn’t supposed to serve a full-time mission right then.

After two and a half years, I finally felt at peace. Heavenly Father had a plan for me, and if I was willing to learn and serve in the ways that He wanted me to, I didn’t have to serve a mission to see miracles and have life-changing experiences. Those things had been happening all along the way as I kept my covenants and trusted God. With His help, I was able to stick to my decision to stay.

Soon after, I ran into the young man I would marry. I was so grateful that he didn’t judge me or hesitate to date me because I had decided not to serve a mission. He loved me for the person I had become, and I loved him for the person he had become. Heavenly Father had prepared us both through our different experiences, even though mine didn’t include a full-time mission.

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by Darren »

It should be illegal’ to be a stay-at-home mom
Kate Scanlon Mar 22, 2017

Australian columnist Sarrah Le Marquand argued that choosing to be a stay-at-home mother should be “illegal” in an op-ed published this week in The Daily Telegraph newspaper.

According to Bloomberg, the Paris-based Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development said in a recent report that there are consequences for the Australian economy because many women of child-bearing age are choosing to stay at home with their children or work part-time.

“There are potentially large losses to the economy when women stay at home or work part-time hours,” the report said. ... She argued that “it’s time for a serious rethink of this kid-glove approach to women of child-bearing and child-rearing age:

Holding us less accountable when it comes to our employment responsibilities is not doing anyone any favors. Not children, not fathers, not bosses — and certainly not women.

Only when the female half of the population is expected to hold down a job and earn money to pay the bills in the same way that men are routinely expected to do will we see things change for the better for either gender.

“Only when it becomes the norm for all families to have both parents in paid employment, and sharing the stress of the work-home juggle, will we finally have a serious conversation about how to achieve a more balanced modern workplace,” she said.

Le Marquand wrote that feminism is “not about choice, it’s about equality.” She added that “only when we evenly divide the responsibility for workplace participation between the two genders will we truly see a more equitable division between men and women in all parts of Australian life.”
http://www.theblaze.com/news/2017/03/22 ... -home-mom/

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gkearney
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

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Waiting for Darren to comment on the unmarried sister Sharon Eubank named to the General Relief Society Presidency in 3...2...1...

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by Darren »

The Church can accommodate sisters at any stage or situation in their lives, all the while, as the Mormon Culture is becoming more Katholic (Aristotle spelled it with a K).

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by Darren »

Jennifer - If a young woman is listening and wants to start a large family, what is some advice you can offer her?

Ayla - Start young, because you never know what's going to happen. Start, the sooner the better.

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Darren
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by Darren »

$$$ The growing market for Sister Missionary preparation. $$$
Stock up Now!

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Sarah
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Re: Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

Post by Sarah »

When it comes to "feminist" ways of thinking, I've seen different mind-sets with women in and out of the Church. Outside of the Church, the thought among friends and neighbors has been that it is irresponsible to have more than two children ( I'm guessing because they think the world is overpopulated) and that it was too expensive to provide the needs of more than one or two children. I'm sure a lack of wanting to sacrifice freedom and career was also a factor, but this seemed less of a concern than feeling obligated to follow the cultural norms, and their moralistic reasoning for having few children. Preparing to have a career was not even a question. We train our girls from child-hood to prepare for one.

Inside (and outside) the Church, I actually see quite often it is the husbands who want to prevent more children from coming. Not sure if we should call these type of men "feminists" but perhaps we need a name for this group. Often they don't want to start a family right away, but want their wives to work for a few years in order to save money or to put them through college, or they also fear the expense and sacrifice and want to limit the family. Women in the Church are working more and having less children, but the reasons are so varied. It is not always by choice. I know some women who probably could have children but stop after 4, so overall, I just see a growing culture that avoids sacrifice and hard work to have large families.

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