Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

[Darren]

Head of missionary program - evolving role of sister missionaries
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/mobile3/58 ... e.html.csp

Do you see a time when sister missionaries will be district leaders and zone leaders?

In some unique situations, they already are. If you look at the Temple Square Mission composed entirely of sister missionaries, they have a full organizational chart. There is authorization currently where circumstances require to have sisters-only districts, and there are places where that is being done. You could see a circumstance where a group of sisters is in an outlying area, and it wouldn’t be wise to put an elder companionship in that area, a mission president could compose a district just with sisters. That is happening. It’s expressly provided for and we are watching it. We’ve seen a lot of good experiences happening.

It’s not just a surge at the time of the announcement but an ongoing desire in many young women to take advantage of the option President Monson has given them to consider missionary service. There is no pressure on them and no duty to serve, but we see a significant number of young women really want that, and now that they can do it at a little lower age, they are actively choosing missionary service. We see that pattern continue.

Officially the Church says that there is no pressure on young women to serve a mission, but just the opposite is true in our Mormon Culture that now pushes them to serve missions and delay marriage. There is an ever growing disconnect between the culture expected by the Lord, that is promoted by the Brethren and the Culture lived by the members. The Culture the Members choose to live is bringing upon us The Cleansing.

God Bless,
Darren

[Darren]

For the Mormon Culture the choice for young women is in question, do we follow the world or the Lord?

Women And Marriage

There was a time when marriage meant everything to a woman ... marriage played a significant psychological role for women: It defined women’s sense of self in a way nothing else could. This is because marriage meant a "complete" life; the very act of being married provided a genuinely fulfilling, validating and psychologically rewarding experience for most women.

However, new opportunities for women’s psychological fulfillment and societal acceptance of alternative life choices to marriage have created new paths for women to find fulfillment without marriage.

Women today realize they don’t actually need to do it all to feel like they have it all. Alternative life choices, such as delaying marriage and kids, have become standard.

Trading marriage and/or kids to pursue your ambitions is an acceptable choice today.

http://www.askmen.com/entertainment/bet ... riage.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

The Independent Women

Women, no longer need men around to achieve financial success in their own lives. Once they have gone to college and have become gainfully employed, what’s the rush to settle down? In fact, settling down may hurt their chances of becoming partner at their law firm or VP of Sales and Marketing at their fashion retail franchise.

And, guess what? A man can sense that a woman doesn’t need him. He has eye-balled that independent woman and knows she’s not interested in marriage. And he would be right. Well, she’s giving off all the signs of “Single, Independent and Married to Jesus,” isn’t she?

According to TwentySomethingMarriage.org, “Men who had never married had some of the lowest levels of personal income—lower even than those who married before age twenty. These results are consistent with research that the responsibility ethic associated with marriage makes men, including twentysomething men, harder, smarter, and better-paid workers.”

It is a philosophy that Christians agree with because it is inspired by 1 Timothy 5:8 which calls a man who doesn’t take care of his family “worse than an infidel.”

Christian men take this literally. So, if a woman doesn’t need him to provide, it may make him feel belittled.

In 2014, marriage has become a crowning achievement or the pinnacle of success. While it used to be about using marriage to stabilize one’s life, now young adults believe that they must first achieve stability before they can consider a life partnership.

In fact, the Knot Yet report states about 90 percent of young adults believe that they must be:

1) Completely financially independent to be ready for marriage and

2) Finished with their education before taking the big step

http://www.newdmagazine.com/apps/articl ... efault.asp

[Darren]

Mormon Culture's new path for young women:
1. High-school
2. Mission
3. College
4. Career
lastly, and if there is any opportunity left, the 5. Capstone of Marriage,
usually with smaller family sizes than their parents and grandparents.

College time for younger Mormon women
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/58484 ... e.html.csp

The first wave of younger Mormon sister missionaries are back and filling Utah’s college classrooms.

Brigham Young University junior Meredith DeMourdant, who returned in July from serving a mission in Vancouver. She's one of many women to return this year after the Mormon church lowered the minimum age for women in the proselytizing force, from 21 to 19.

"We see it as a positive thing," BYU spokesman Todd Hollingshead said. "It may open up new ideas of things they want to look into that maybe they hadn’t thought of before."

Meredith DeMordaunt says the younger minimum age makes it more acceptable for women to serve as missionaries now.

Before the age change, "People would look at you and say, ‘You’re a cute girl, why aren’t you staying and getting married?’ It was assumed you’re only on a mission ‘cause you can’t get married," DeMordaunt said. "And that’s not true."

She adds: "Girls are excited to go on missions now."

"This changes the narrative for young Mormon women in pretty fundamental ways," LDS scholar Joanna Brooks told The Salt Lake Tribune after the October 2012 announcement. "It uncouples church service from the expectation of marriage and motherhood and teaches young women they should take responsibility for knowing their faith."

That’s the case for DeMordaunt. The junior said the year and a half on her mission taught her how to structure her time and set her sights on important things like faith and graduation. But she is overwhelmed by the thought of packing into the next few semesters her capstone course, law school applications and graduation.

She is considering applying for an internship with the U.S. State Department in China.

"I thought I had all this time, but I don’t because I’m graduating in a year and a half," she said. "When you go on a mission, it’s almost like pausing your life."

Advancing the pause earlier in women’s college careers has made it "much easier to go on missions," DeMordaunt said.

For others like her, Madsen said, it’s up to parents to pay for the first few semesters to make sure their daughters go straight from "sister" to student.

"If parents do that, " she said, "then we will get most women to college right after their mission."

[worthit]

Having so many sister missionaries also covers up the dramatic difference in the numbers. Boys baptized into the church is about the same, but after 12 the numbers continue to decrease dramatically. Having been in the mission field and moved so much, it was very obvious what time would bring. We encouraged our 3 young men to be very selective in their choice of spouse. Temple ready return missionary elders are outnumbered by girls at about 7 to 1. Many times, though the ward roster showed 6-20 young men as members, our sons were the only ones in regular attendance. That's the numbers.

Also, because of grade and communication skills difference, girls seem to receive most of the scholarships. That has an impact on the numbers of young men who can afford to attend college. Colleges, their numbers plummeting from simple demographics, must look to the upcoming female enrollees. A push for girls to pursue engineering, math, and science, is there because many universities are losing their traditionally male dominated course offerings. Colleges that still offer them find that most of their students are not Americans.

[Darren]

Having so many sister missionaries also covers up the dramatic difference in the numbers. Boys baptized into the church is about the same, but after 12 the numbers continue to decrease dramatically. Having been in the mission field and moved so much, it was very obvious what time would bring. We encouraged our 3 young men to be very selective in their choice of spouse. Temple ready return missionary elders are outnumbered by girls at about 7 to 1. Many times, though the ward roster showed 6-20 young men as members, our sons were the only ones in regular attendance. That's the numbers.

Also, because of grade and communication skills difference, girls seem to receive most of the scholarships. That has an impact on the numbers of young men who can afford to attend college. Colleges, their numbers plummeting from simple demographics, must look to the upcoming female enrollees. A push for girls to pursue engineering, math, and science, is there because many universities are losing their traditionally male dominated course offerings. Colleges that still offer them find that most of their students are not Americans.

Interesting perspective. I would guess that many other members see this disparity between the young men and young women in the Church.

Boy Scouting is a great program for wetting the appetite of the boys, for the work life they are built for, and who's roll it is to engage in family sustaining work. But what happens when that program ends, and the boys fall off the proverbial cliff, and they have little else to look forward to? And we in the Church take little interest in them to make available to them the customary opportunities of apprenticeships. As the members of the Church have given themselves over unto the quest for the "Robes of a False Priesthood" (Hugh Nibley)

and we tell the boys that they need to compete in the arena of Mental Thought (Orthodoxy) and quit their boyish seeking for what God is Calling them to do for mankind.

We are coming unto a reckoning for how we have indoctrinated our youth, in Satan's way.

God Bless,
Darren

[Darren]

"We reaffirm that missionary work is a priesthood duty, and we encourage all worthy and able young men to serve," he said. "We are very grateful for the young women who also serve. They make a significant contribution, although they are not under the same mandate to serve as are the young men." October 04, 2014

What is Woman's Mandate? And how are we making that possible for them?

God Bless,
Darren

[Darren]

Is the issue of sisters serving missions and forgoing marriage a symptom of a Mormon Culture that is not adequately preparing their young men for success in the role of supporting their families at a young age?

Never-Married Women in Their Thirties Who Desire Marriage and Children
Kate Kelly's problem wasn't her questioning of church doctrine, and writing her own six discussions (which, as a return sister missionary, had me raising my eyebrows in alarm). She (and Sheri Dew's latest book) failed to ask the right kinds of questions in order to initiate the discussions that reveal just how deep the roots of this problem lie: not enough worthy priesthood holders to go around, failure of the church to teach and prepare men for marriage and family responsibility, placing these responsibilities on the women as both doctrinal and social issues creating a catch-22 as temple marriage is largely out of women's hands when the men choose other options over marriage, including divorce. This leaves a great many women on this earth with no worthy priesthood holder in their home, one they most likely bought and are currently paying the mortgage on themselves.

My argument isn't that women should be independent, completely self-supporting, allowed the same authority as men to participate in decision making pastoral duties. My argument is that WE SHOULD'NT HAVE TO!

Men were put on this earth to care for women. So man up men and do your duty!
http://oldmaidmormon.blogspot.com/

And I would add, members need to "man-up" in their support to the development and retention of the young men.

[Darren]

See the difference in attitudes between the generations about sisters serving missions.

His Girlfriend Wants to Serve a Mission
Dear Bro Jo,
My girlfriend told me a few days ago she wants to serve a mission. She turns 20 next week. I have mixed feelings about it. On one hand I want her to have the great experience and blessings that come from serving. On the other hand, I wanted to marry her next year in between semesters at BYU-I. I've decided I'll wait if she does go, but I really just wanna marry her.
- Willing to Wait

Dear Willing,
You shouldn't wait. It's not likely you actually WILL wait. And, more importantly, have you told her how you feel? Have you told her that you want to marry her in 8 months? Have you proposed??? How can she possibly make this decision if she doesn't have all of the information?
And WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?
If you've been together long enough to know you want to marry her, and you're in a Serious Relationship, there's no reason to wait. Heck, I don't even think you should wait for June! Marry her between semesters in JANUARY if you're lucky enough that she'll have you.
- Bro Jo
http://dearbrojo.blogspot.com/2014/10/h ... ssion.html

Girls please don't go on a mission if you're dating an RM!
Just don't complicate things. Let the single girls be the ones that go if they want to. ... If you're single and don't really go on many dates, then great go. If you're not single (or you're single but get asked out constantly) then please don't go...please stay and be a blessing to a lucky guy and a lucky family that only you can create and nurture.
- Anon
http://dearbrojo.blogspot.com/2014/10/g ... ssion.html

Is 19 Too Young to Get Married?
Dear Bro Jo,
I'm 19 and I'm in a relationship with someone incredible. We've been dating about a year now, since I met him at the university we're attending. ... I know this is the person I want to marry and spend eternity with. The only problem is that everyone (and by everyone, I mean my parents, Church leaders, elders, etc.) keep telling me that 19 is too young to get married; To wait until I'm 21, 22...
Some have gone as far as to say that it's a lot more likely that my marriage will end up in divorce or separation if I get married so young. They've even supported themselves with legit scientific studies and statistics. Anyway, my point is- is it really that detrimental to my future to get married at 19?
Too Young?

Dear Old Enough,
I say no, 19 is not "too young" for a young woman to marry. I consider maturity and commitment more important than age. ...
I agree, if you're truly informed and ready to marry now, 19 is not too young.
- Bro Jo
http://dearbrojo.blogspot.com/2013/06/i ... rried.html

[Darren]

His Girlfriend Wants to Serve a Mission - Part 2

Dear Bro Jo,
We've been together for a while. We have been talking about marriage as a "when" for about a month. She said she wants to be married before her 21st Birthday (A year from next Friday). She told me Sunday night last week. She said she feels the spirit telling her to go. I'm just torn about it. I know there are other out there, but I don't want anyone else. I love this girl. I've dated a lot, had several Girlfriends, but THIS girl is almost make-believe like in how compatible we are. Like I said, if she does go, I'll wait.
- Waiting

Dear Waiting, No you won't. And you shouldn't. Look, the prophets have been pretty clear, no young woman should postpone marriage for a mission; it's not required of girls the way it is of us. So there's no way the Spirit is telling her go instead of marry you if the two of you would be a good eternal match. This is no different for guys than it is for girls, a mission call is a break up. When the person you're involved with puts in their mission papers, it's over. Choosing to "wait" for a couple weeks or months is one thing, but over a year is a mistake. You may miss too many opportunities, become a distraction to the missionary, and are making promises that, more often than not, don't work out.
- Bro Jo
http://dearbrojo.blogspot.com/2014/10/h ... on_13.html

Sisters serving missions and forgoing marriage is altering our Culture, and we adults need to be vigilant to keep our Culture as close to Zion principles as possible and eradicate the Catholic Culture concept of young women becoming married to the State, by stifling traditional marriage for other worthwhile opportunities, from that becoming a part of of our Culture.

[Darren]

Mission or marriage?
Having grown up in Utah my entire life, I was well aware of the notion that everyone who went to BYU was there to get married. So naturally, I was prepared for the abundance of relationships and PDA.

And after moving to Provo, despite being ready for the love bug, I was shocked at an equally dominant trend at BYU: going on a mission.

The “shock” factor comes from living in a freshman ward and taking freshman-oriented GE classes. It seems like everyone is going on a mission. And it seems the majority of those preparing for a mission are the girls.

I walk around my freshman dorm and see young women worrying they are wasting their lives because they are not going on missions and aren’t getting married in the near future. Although I think missions and marriage are important, those girls think because they aren’t married at 19 or heading out on a mission, they are wasting their lives.

http://universe.byu.edu/2014/03/18/miss ... marriage1/

[Darren]

A Culture on a rocky course is one that cannot define a destination and produce a path for their young to travel. What is the true purpose for young women in our culture? What are we doing to put them on the course and ensure that they arrive at that destination. And where are the young men in all of this? With a cultural emphasis for sister's serving mission and delaying or forgoing marriage are we approaching a marriage of our Culture with the Culture of The State?

Do Sisters Feel Pressure to Serve Missions?
With the lowered missionary age came a wave of sisters ready to serve. But what about the sisters who didn't feel it was right for them? They can feel pressure to go still, but where is that pressure coming from--and should we fix it?

From a 26-year-old RM Sister

As a recent RM and a young Relief Society president at BYU in October 2012, I watched the missionary age change announcement transform the entire dynamic of my ward. Many of the 19-year-old sisters’ lives were turned upside down. Suddenly, many were eligible to serve a mission right then.

I saw girls giddy with the excitement of serving a mission. You could almost see their enthusiasm bouncing off the walls. I’ve never seen people complete mission papers so fast! I couldn’t have been happier for the sisters who were so determined to serve the Lord.

But it made for difficult times for the girls who were unsure whether or not they wanted to serve. Suddenly their uncertainty about serving a mission was seen as weakness. They saw themselves in comparison with the sisters bound and determined to go, and they began to doubt themselves.

Sisters came to me unsure about their motives for going, unsure about their future. Many felt that the age change and the sudden spike in sisters serving meant that if they didn’t join the ranks, they must not have a strong enough testimony of the gospel.

Occasionally I would see these girls pressured by other Relief Society sisters or even brethren in the ward, but no matter where the pressure came from, the pressure was never productive. Little phrases like, “Have you thought about serving?” were well intentioned, but they actually made some sisters feel as if they were required to go—which wasn’t true.

I commend every sister for serving a full-time mission, because I know firsthand how incredibly hard it can be, having served in a very remote French island in the Indian Ocean where the Church is very small. I myself had never planned to serve a mission. But the more I thought about the option, the more I felt prompted to pursue it. It wasn’t until I had prayed for weeks that the Lord finally gave me a clear answer: if I wanted to go, I should go. If not, I shouldn’t. He wanted me to choose for myself. And I wanted every family in the world to have the same eternal blessings I did, so I chose to serve.

I’ve seen sisters serve for the right reasons, and I’ve seen sisters serve for the wrong reasons. I simply hope that young sisters nowadays don’t go only because they feel pressured to.

From a 22-year-old Non-RM Sister

Before the missionary age change, I never felt like I was supposed to serve a mission, but I told myself I would never rule it out completely. When the age changed, I had just barely turned 20, and in an instant went from being too young to go, to feeling too old and behind.

Even before the age change, I had never been determined one way or another about serving a mission, but felt that the Lord had organized my mission in other places at home, such as in my new calling as Relief Society President in my YSA ward. Despite spending hours getting to know sisters in my ward, working part-time, and finishing my last year of school, I still felt like I was missing out on something that had become important for a credible testimony, something that many girls younger than I was were all participating in, and loving.

My 21st birthday and graduation from college soon came and went. I was able to transition straight from school into a job that I loved, and started to find value and confidence in my testimony again through the service I was doing at home. I applied to be in the Hill Cumorah Pageant for additional opportunities to share my testimony, where I enjoyed my time there working with the full-time missionaries.

Soon after returning, I began to notice that my guilt was returning. And I still didn't receive confirmation to serve. I again felt the need to justify myself and give long explanations of my "comparable accomplishments" when people asked me if I had served, or planned to serve, a mission. A few well-meaning people, usually ended up re-inforcing my guilt with comments like "It's ok, women aren't required to go," which, even when sincere, felt condescending.

I'm still on the path to overcoming my guilt about not serving full-time. One thing I’ve learned along the way, though, from this pressure from friends, ward members, and the occasional family member, is that most of my pressure is self-inflicted. I realized this when President Monson said this October 2014 general conference: “We are very grateful for the young women who also serve. They make a significant contribution, although they are not under the same mandate to serve as are the young men.” As he spoke, I started to understand that there are many ways that I can serve and give my time to the Lord outside of serving a full-time mission. Serving a mission is not about an age, an expectation, or even a commandment. It’s about learning to listen to the Spirit and serving where the Lord can use your talents best.

http://ldsliving.com/story/77076-do-sis ... e-missions

The pressure was there before, but I imagine it has gotten worse. I remember nearing 21 and sincerely desiring to serve, but receiving my answer that a mission wasn't for me. I didn't particularly like that answer, but I followed it. However, the older I got, the harder it got. At first those around me were supportive thinking I would stay and get married. As time passed and marriage didn't come, many started pressuring me that I needed to go. I even had a coworker at a previous job push me so much on a daily basis I finally had to report it to a supervisor to get it to stop. The pressure made me question my answer and think that maybe I just hadn’t been willing to give up that time of my life which made me feel guilty. Now I'm 27 and will be getting married just after my 28th birthday. Looking back I can see how the experiences I had while I would have been on a mission were what I truly needed to put me on the course I needed to be on. I pray these young girls will be able to stay strong to the answers they receive because Heavenly Father knows what is best for each of us individually.

I have a 19 year old daughter who is a sophomore at USU right now. What saddens me is that her current experience is that the elders (RMs) are NOT DATING because they are ... wait for it... waiting for girls who are currently serving. If they aren't waiting for someone, they are expressing a desire to only marry another RM. Yes, the irony is not lost on me. But I am sad that she is feeling like she's doing something wrong (by choosing not to go at this time), when she's faithful and doing her part. To say nothing of the lack of dating going on, period. An attractive college age girl should have had more than two dates in 18 months.

As senior missionaries, we have been able to work with many young women who chose to serve. It is important for the sister missionaries to serve because they feel the Lord has answered prayers for them to be there. We saw some sisters struggle because they felt they had to serve for the wrong reasons. As with elders and sisters, their effectiveness is dependent upon their desire to serve. The worth of the young latter day saint women IS NOT dependent upon serving a mission. The Lord will use their talents, skills, and abilities wherever they are, on a mission or not. They should listen to the promptings of the Spirit not those who pressure them to serve.

As the mother of 3 daughters and an RM myself, I have been concerned that in the eyes of some, a young woman's worth may be determined by her choice to serve a mission. Whether or not to serve is a highly personal decision. I was pressured to serve. Luckily, it was a good move for me but it is not right for every young woman. I had companions who were there for the wrong reasons. Some hindered the work and their companions. Some were ill prepared for the physical & emotional rigors of a mission. A mission is NOT a vacation -- even if you get called to an exotic location. It is hard work. Our daughters have always known that a mission was an option but they have also known that the decision is entirely theirs. Two have chosen education, marriage, & motherhood. The youngest is at BYU. She will make her own decision. She has a strong testimony, she is beautiful, bright, & talented. RM's who look at only one quality (RM or not an RM) are short sighted and passing up remarkable and worthy young women to date and marry. A young woman who serves but didn't want to is not necessarily a better "catch".

[Darren]

...Progress...

President Thomas S. Monson’s announcement in General Conference on Saturday, October 6, 2012, that young women can now serve missions at age 19 is no less than revolutionary.

... by the 1970s, a culture somewhat unfriendly to sister missionaries had emerged, along with anti-sister stereotypes like the “ugly Old Maid,” and the “unmarriageable woman,” especially as conservative gender expectations pushed back against the feminism and social changes of the Counterculture.

The very popular Mormon musical, Saturday’s Warrior (1973), reinforced the notion that missions were exclusively male spaces, with women filling their proper supportive roles as dutiful girlfriends, patiently waiting for their missionaries. (“Will I Wait For You?” and “He’s Just a Friend/Dear John”) A directive in a 1969 Improvement Era suggested, “One of the reasons why so few women are missionaries might be that their first calling is to stay home and write to them.”

Young sisters certainly felt this ambiguity. One sister confessed privately, “It is such a privilege to take part in this work. Deep down I am a fighter and a warrior.

I want to be in the midst of the battle for my God even though I am a woman and my primary concern is the home. To be here on the front lines of the battle is a great gift to me.” And this: “Is there any reason why a sister missionary can’t be just as effective as a Heber C. Kimball or a Wilford Woodruff? I may not have the Priesthood, but my call is just as real as theirs.”

Still, at times the climate remained unwelcoming. One sister remembered, “In every area that we went into, one of our jobs would be to convert the elders to the fact that lady missionaries had a place in the mission field.”

And an elder admitted that “When I entered the mission field, I subscribed to the widely held notion that sister missionaries were a flaky lot who had been unable to find husbands and who could make little contribution to ‘real’ missionary work.”

In 1971, the Church shortened the mission length for sisters to 18 months, and since then Church leaders have maintained a traditional line on sister missionary service, at once complimenting and recognizing those who serve, while also reminding women of their first priority toward marriage and family.

The two-year age difference between elders and sisters has reinforced these expectations, keeping sisters at or below 15% to 20% of overall missionary numbers.

In recent years, attitudes about sister missionaries have certainly shifted, with more young women serving because of a “first choice,” rather than as a “fall-back” plan.

And in an interesting role reversal from an earlier time, many young men have actually “waited for” their sister missionaries prior to marriage.

Indeed, being a returned sister missionary is something of a badge of honor. And yet, problems have persisted on rare occasions, including the stereotyping of sister missionaries as somehow unmarriageable. In very recent years, one friend of mine approached her bishop about a mission and he responded, “Why would a pretty girl like you want to serve a mission?”

Seen in the context of shifting historical policies regarding sister missionary service, this most recent age change sends a remarkably affirming message for young LDS women.

The sheer numbers will hopefully dilute or minimize some of the double standards and extreme labels assigned to women, including the “binary extremes’ . . . [of] either ‘good sisters’ or ‘problem sisters.’”

Further, a lower age for women effectively divorces (ahem, sorry) missionary service from historical anxieties over the marriageability of young women. Even though women are still not “required” to serve, still the message is clear: Sisters are not an addendum or after thought; they are essential to the program, even irreplaceable.

There’s also an implied message that “We trust you sisters to work alongside elders of your same age without worrying about whether you will be distractions or temptations to them.” This move goes a long way toward demystifying and de-objectifying young women, by increasing opportunities for healthy male-female interaction in a (hopefully) non- or less-sexualized environment.

The age change puts missionary service for young women squarely along their road maps of major life milestones, even privileging “Mission” as a desirable step toward life preparation.

Young women will have more opportunities for lessons about companionship, effective communication, conflict resolution, problem-solving, public speaking, more intense gospel study, doctrinal preparation, church governance, and leadership.

As with previous historical episodes, even if there is a pragmatic motive behind the Church’s policy change, in this case, the pragmatism comes with a great leap forward.


The implications are endless, and I eagerly await their full exploration.

http://rationalfaiths.com/pragmatism-an ... h-century/

[gkearney]

Darren;

In all of this do you have nay evidence that young LDS women are "forgoing marriage" as in not getting married at all as opposed to marrying at an older age than in the past?

Greg

[Darren]

Mormon Singles, LDS Singles Wards Rise As Members Delay Marriage

A crisis of singles has arrived.

Just a few decades ago, the marriage age among Mormons was often as low as 18. Mormons still marry younger than most Americans, but most now marry in their early to mid-20s and singles in their 30s and 40s are quickly on the rise -- once unheard of.

Singledom isn't just something growing among Mormons. About half of American adults, or 100 million, are single, according to the 2010 U.S. Census. Among those, 61 percent have never married. For the first time in history, married couples now amount to less than half of American households. Nationally, women marry at age 26.1 on average, while men marry at 28.2. The rates have gone up by one year for men and two years for women since 2000, and have continually increased since the 1960s.

"There's a higher rate of people wanting higher education, and people are becoming more and more concerned about having a good life. We've seen a rise in a more materialistic viewpoint," says Brian Willoughby, a professor at Brigham Young University who studies family and marriage issues and teaches a course on marriage preparation. The issue crosses into other faiths, but has stood out more among Mormons, whose faith strictly guides them to buck broader trends like premarital sex and living together before marriage.

In Utah, where the majority of the population is Mormon, records from the Office of Vital Records and Statistics show that from 2000 to 2008, the state’s marriage rate dropped faster than the national average. Per 1,000 people, the rate was 10.6 in 2000, compared to 8.7 in 2008. Nationwide, it was 8.7 in 2000 and 7.1 in 2008. That said, Utah still has one of the lowest divorce rates in the country.

Mormon scholars and independent Mormon groups estimate that up to one-third of the church's adult Americans are single, though church officials won't release their own count. Nevertheless, from their temple headquarters in Salt Lake City, the church's General Authorities -- considered living prophets -- have begun admonishing Mormons, instructing them to marry quickly. Mormon leaders have even redrawn the church map, establishing dozens of new age-restricted congregations around the nation, from Arizona to Washington, D.C., in order to facilitate marriage among singles.

"The General Authorities are aware that the church is losing single people, and they are worried about it," says Matthew Bowman, a Mormon who teaches religious history at Hampden-Sydney College and wrote "The Mormon People: The Making of an American Faith." "Growth in the U.S. is about replacement levels, and much of it does come from birth rate."

Among church leaders, the concerns are many. Fewer marriages mean fewer children, which means fewer new members in a faith where conversions are high globally but low within the U.S. Fewer marriages also mean a smaller pool of church leaders to propagate the faith. Congregations are run by unpaid bishops, and only married men are appointed to the roles. Like most religions, single men and women are more likely to drop out of the faith.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/ ... urn false;

Why young LDS men are pushing back marriage
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/lifestyle/ ... n.html.csp

LDS singles are delaying marriage

Growing trend mirrors national census data

While no known published studies have been done about the age of first marriage in the LDS faith, both local LDS leaders and singles say more and more young Latter-day Saints are getting married at an older age.

The average age of first marriage for LDS Church members is approximately 23, said Jason Carroll, assistant professor of marriage, family and human development at Brigham Young University.

That may not sound old, but the LDS Church teaches that marriage and family are an important part of progression both now and in the afterlife. Young adults in the faith traditionally married as early as 18 during the last half of the 20th century.

Nationally, the average age of first marriage jumped from 20 for females and 23 for males in 1960 to 25 and 27 in 2000, respectively, according to the most recent Census data.

If the present trend continues, some national demographers believe that fewer than 85 percent of current young adults will ever marry, according to the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University.

The study found that nationally, men don't commit because they want to avoid divorce and want to enjoy the single life. Foremost, it said the availability of sex outside the bond of marriage and enjoying the "benefits of having a wife by cohabitating" were the top reasons for delaying the commitment to marry.

No statistics about cohabitation rates are available for Latter-day Saints, who are taught abstinence before marriage and fidelity afterward.

"By and large, except for a few exceptions, an LDS emphasis on marriage and family during young adulthood is unique," both within society at large and in faith traditions as a whole, Carroll said.

For some Latter-day Saints like Bonella, the delay in marrying was not for a lack of trying. But church leaders say many singles appear to be following national trends of delaying marriage by avoiding traditional dates, such as a one-on-one evening, where a man calls a woman and asks her out.http://www.deseretnews.com/article/6602 ... tml?pg=all

Sisters serving mission may not be the cause of LDS not marrying, it certainly is a symptom.

[gkearney]

Delaying marriage is not the same as not marring at all.

[Darren]

Delaying marriage is not the same as not marring at all.

One contributes to the other.

Why Single Saints Stay Single

... So what is going on? How is it that a church that teaches marriage and family as the foundation of its doctrine can end up with marriage statistics as abysmal as those we are seeing now? In short…

... so many many Single Saints have been single for so long, that it has given them ample time to justify what they already fear about marriage, namely that it doesn’t work. The longer a person stays single, the longer they have to watch as their friends and families marriages fall apart or implode on themselves. This only provides them with further evidence that marriage doesn’t work. They think…Well gee..if my parents couldn’t make it work, and so-in-so couldn’t make it work, and whats-their-name couldn’t make it work, then what are the chances that I am going to be able to make it work?

Not to mention of course, the fact that the longer you stay single, the more you have dated (theoretically), and the longer you have dated (theoretically), the more failed relationships you have been in, and the more failed relationships you have been in (theoretically), the more bitter and jaded you have become…..(theoretically).

Which leads us to…

... There are SO many bitter, cynical, and jaded saints out there, and trying to date people like this, is tantamount to attempting to hug a porcupine. It also appears that the bitterness is often directly in proportion to age, meaning, the older and longer someone has been single, the more bitter and jaded they are. ...

... I suppose the real question to ask here is how do you get a human, much less a Single Saint, to do something they don’t really want to do? Short of passing a new commandment,

... Whatever observation/explanation I can offer as to why Single Saints are choosing to remain single, ultimately comes down to ... A Choice.

http://rationalfaiths.com/single-saints-stay-single/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I believe that it is better to encourage good behavior rather than to fight bad behavior. I mirror what our conservative leaders have always said, and I paraphrase, "A (young) woman's place is in the home." There is a good reason for that. If we had Zion this would be no problem, but we don't. Whose fault is that? The Mormon Culture's fault, us, as we are becoming more and more similar to the Culture of Babylon. But who cares?

I'm not saying that young women shouldn't have choices, such as the lower priority option to serve a mission. But our Culture should be promoting the best options for young men and young women, with our LDS community working together to build societal structure and opportunities to empower the young men and young women to make the best choices. In a traditional apprentice model of getting married at around 18, with good employment for the young men and plentiful resources for the young women, to do women's work, this is not idealistic, it is our traditional culture. Of which we still have a memory of.

With centuries of precedent available, to show us True Culture, the path, instead we spend more effort adopting progressive and liberal thinking, incorporating unto ourselves the false neo-culture, rather than studying and living by the roots of True Culture.

God Bless,
Darren

[gkearney]

Darren;

I think you will find that in much I agree with you. While I would not want to discourage our young women from serving missions, indeed I would not want to force them to do so either. I would not want for force or compel our young men either however. I also agree with your that apprentiships and vocational training are a long over looked option and than our young people should not be enslaved to debt to obtain an education as is currently the practice.

The questions I have is how would we, as a church people do what you suggest. This is the hard part of your focus on "true culture". In the 19th and the first half of the 20th century and in some degree up to the end of the second world war the saints lived in isolation in the intermountain west of North America stretching from northern Mexico to southern Alberta. This isolation permitted the development of a distinct LDS culture which until the 1970's continued to promote the early marriages, even while loosing the apprentiships and vocational training that was the finical underpinning which permitted those marriages to exist.

Today however the saints are no longer the isolated community of believers we once were. Most LDS not only do not live in LDS communities as they once did but indeed do not even live in North America. They no longer speak a common language. They no longer have the common ancestral heritage of northern European backgrounds. The Saints are today mixed into the prevailing cultures that they live in. We make up tiny minorities within those cultures and unlike in the past do not have the numbers to shape a culture as was once done in western America.

Of course some of this is a problem of our own creation. I remember well while growing up that I was constantly advised not to date girls until I and they were 16 and then to only do so in groups. I do not think that in the late 1950's when that advices was first promulgated that anyone thought that in 50 years the wider culture would embrace this idea of "group dating" or "hanging out" as it is currently known as the norm. So in the end we became victims of our own success. We did such a good job at it that our youth found themselves not only untrained in the art of courtship but living in a wider culture which did not know how to conduct themselves in that critical ritual of human endeavour.

So given these facts on the ground even if we collectively had the desire to make the cultural, educational and societal changes you, and to some degree I see as needed? At one time this question was simple enough, we all, for the most part anyway, lived in self contained Mormon communities. The words from church leaders, reflected by community, civic and educational leaders could lead these communities and the culture that had grown up around them. Today however with the Saints scattered out not the wider cultures of the world such options do not exist. What steps do we take given these realities.

[Darren]

Great thoughts gkearney,

I have spent most of my life thinking about these things, and until recently I thought all was lost, as obviously The Cleansing was coming, and just like Sodom and Gomorrah, the end, the end of probation for our culture, was inevitable, with so few people to get past that.

Looking for another way I found something, I found it. What did I find?

I found the formula, for the best working of humanity. What is called EQM, that can be applied to all aspects of humanity and its institutions, for a perfect perspective and balance.

I also found the silliness of the propaganda, that continues the mystical culture of not actually knowing, the counterfeit, based on a focus on M, through an out of balance perspective on Q, and a subdued attention to E, for an out of balance humanity.

Knowing this simple formula did not make it easy to help others get out of their box developed by the culture of knowing something, for profit and gain.

So what could I do?

Make a case for what I found. And what was that?

The only positive thing the world in general thinks about, is in this phrase, "what works" of how humanity stays alive and has hope. The universal call to action is to be able to show what works, without all the propaganda and counterfeits.

But who will show the world the counterfeit free “what works” for the perfection of humanity? My Mormon Culture that got me to see these things in the first place? A people who can show the world "what works" as they come into the best position to help mankind to do that. Ah, ha, a place to start. The Mormons need to show the world "what works" and stand on this principle.

But just like the previous cultures that built themselves on what they had of this divine formula that creates the culture of what works, the failing has always been not being able to spell out what works in the most precise details, (it is really just a perspective, void of propaganda, Alma 37:46, “Look” steadfastly with our intelligence, through our spirit, then through our physical being).

Some standout examples of those cultures that had their time in understanding those details are the cultures, after Christ visited them in America, but for us has left a vague collection of structural societal principles in that account, and no surviving remnant of that culture existing today, and then the culture that apparently had the same experience, but not as well written down in a "restored" book, the culture of the lost tribes of Israel who were the “other, other lost sheep” in 3 Nephi 16:1-3. An account looked forward to by Mormons today, as the other, other witness to be brought back by their prophets when they return, and are considered to be a continuous culture of Christ that has continued from the time that he appeared to them, just after his resurrection until today as lived by those decedents who just show up, to share that with the rest of us. D&C 86 8-11

Now, the Apostate mentioned in D&C 86 has been working upon our way of doing things from early on, and that has created an environment wherein we have had limited ability to be a part of the continuing "what works" of Joseph Smith's Culture, way to make that happen. But that condition of being able to show the world the best way to work together and produce the what works of the Lord has always been part of who we are supposed to be, and is in our heritage so to speak.

Now about Darren:
I got to know Brian in Salt Lake City in 2006 just after Cleon Skousen passed away, as part of his efforts to continue the Skousen study meetings at Salt Lake Community College. I had self identified as a "Constitutionalist" from years earlier, after I realized that good men like Ross Perot were not getting traction in an environment that we were warned about by President Ezra Taft Benson. And making myself as useful as possible in producing the website http://darren.lib.utah.edu/(see" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false; at the internet archive https://web.archive.org/web/20030319233 ... .utah.edu/), from my desk computer at the University of Utah.

In 2005 I met and began to study with Bruce Wydner as part of a local Church program to teach Spanish to native English Speakers, and then realizing that I had found my ultra-graduate program for the Constitutionalist I had been. And learned how limited a Constitutionalist's thinking is. I am no longer a "Constitutionalist," I am a True Conservative, in the sense that I can get back to the roots of Constitutionalism to the point that the Nordic lost tribes of Israel promised to live by the Law of the Lord, as the way to live together by Virtue, that is the reason we have constitutions today.

So in 2006 I began to try to share that perspective among the Constitutionalists, and I might as well be talking ancient German to them. They had no context to see much if anything contributing to divine principles before the founding of America. And if you look back at all my earlier posts, you see that effort, of trying to get those thoughts across.

Apparently my message has little to no marketability.

I have always tried to be positive about positive things, but realizing that I sometimes have to shake the resting post of my listener. And there you have it, "Sisters Serving Missions and Forgoing Marriage," as an attempt to shake at that most shaky resting point of the New Mormon Culture. A new plateau in the aberrations of Mormon Culture to divest itself of traditional conservative ideals, a departure, a cultural sin.

Sure it get silly at times, but it is my biggest topic, and easy to keep going.

I will keep trying to incorporate the message of True Culture to hope somehow somebody is listening and wants to hear more, and I see takers every now and then.

Anyways, I love the sisters, and do not wish them anything less than their finding their heavenly desires. I also hope they internalize their covenants and commitments, like when Mary submitted to be the vessel to bring Jesus into the world. We are a people of submission to virtue, and to belong to God we have to forgo worldly aspirations. The young women and young men need a culture to lead them to the purpose God has for them, this is part of our "Constitution" that if we break, will help bring on The Cleansing.

God Bless,
Darren

[Darren]

gkearney,

You asked about steps, and I have offered steps in the past.

First we need to agree on this first principle, that the starting point is a focus on virtue. Alma 37:46 tells us how easy it is to go right if we will just start right with that focus.

So what part of anything do you want to start with.

Lets start with businesses.

Luckily our traditional structure of business was mostly developed by a people who figured this all out, and made doing it right customary. Among many aspects of true structure, they developed the "Incorporation Document" and in a traditional incorporation document are the elements of starting with a focus, and elements for staying focused. For a business to get started right it needs to come up with a "Purpose Statement." Traditionally, in a community that is focused on things like benefiting mankind the purpose statement needs to pass the test, does the business, the product of the business benefit mankind (love your brother as yourself), otherwise it is not a worthwhile business. Today businesses have silly purpose statements, saying things like getting lots of money and stuff like that. Then there are By-laws for self governance of that business to do its purpose.

As businesses grow our ancestors knew the quantity of participants in a business that it made sense to divide a growing company, and that number was 10, advancing that 10 group to work with a cooperative of similar and supportive businesses. The 10 10s group, governed at that level by a 100s elected council, elected judicial and a couple of executive assistants. Our LDS Stakes are set up this way, as also is an Anglo Saxon styled County. Onward to the General Assembly, Chief Executive and so on.

So the first step is to get businesses to work together by traditional organizing principles. And we begin to do business from inside the structure of doing it right. Otherwise The Cleansing comes, to get the money out of our organizing principles.

In 1967 a great leader whom I admired and loved (President David O. McKay) said that a crisis was coming to America and the legal minds of the nation were not getting ready to deal with it.

I discovered that the Founders were in-depth students of the Bible, and equally familiar with secular history, both ancient and modern.

I was surprised that they knew we would one day fulfill a prophecy of the ancient prophet, Moses: That in America we would one day practice the revealed code of righteous law given to the Israelites by God.

But as great as leaders of the nation turned out to be, they did not have a generation of what they called "virtuous people" who were ready and able to live under God's law. They said it would have to come some time in the future.

For the sake of the skeptic who might doubt that such an earthly paradise might ever be possible, I have cited in this book several instances when it actually happened, and most amazingly, a prophecy that it is going to happen again in modern times.

In this sense The Majesty of God's Law is a book for Americans about America. In the dark hours through which the nation is now passing, there is a tangible shaft of light and hope. The Founders knew about it and only regretted that it would not happen in their day. But it could happen in our day -- after the cleansing.

The challenge in writing this book was my own humble attempt to try and put it all together so that anyone could see what the Founders saw.

... Jefferson carefully compared the constitution of the Israelites with the laws of the Anglo-Saxons which were almost identical.

... the Founders were using the divine science of government revealed to the Israelites.

These people were the Anglo-Saxons.

Jefferson not only studied everything he could find out about these people who were the ancestors of most of the colonists, but he devoted many months to learning how to read the Anglo-Saxon language so that he could study their ancient principles of law and government from their original writings.

Where Did the Anglo-Saxons Come From?

According to the Saga(s) from the Anglo-Saxon oral history in Iceland, this people had originally lived in large numbers around the Black Sea until the first century BC. (This is the general area where the lost Ten Tribes of Israel lived until they disappeared.)

Their oral history, songs and tradition say that as a result of this migration they eventually settled in Germany and the Scandinavian countries.

Important to Jefferson (w)as the exciting fact that for centuries these people had been practicing many of the principles of government and law which God had given to Moses.

Impressed Jefferson … the fact that everywhere the Anglo-Saxons went, they established the highest order of government and law.

... Professor Gilbert Chinard, one of the distinguished biographers of Jefferson states:

"Jefferson's great ambition at that time was to promote a renaissance of Anglo-Saxon primitive institutions on the new continent. Thus presented, the American Revolution was nothing but the reclamation of the Anglo-Saxon birthright of which the colonists had been deprived by a `long train of abuses.'"

... On August 13, 1776, Jefferson wrote to Edmund Pendleton of the Virginia legislature to urge him to help abolish the remnants of feudalism, and return to the "ancient principles" which carry with them a promise from God. He wrote:

"Are we not better for what we have hitherto abolished of the feudal system? Had not every restitution of the ancient Saxon laws had happy effect? Is it not better now that we return at once into that happy system of our ancestors, the wisest and most perfect and most perfect ever devised by the wit of man, as it stood before the eighth century."

But, of course, Jefferson was far ahead of his time -- perhaps a couple of centuries or more. But eventually, he knew it had to happen.

Cleon Skousen knew some of the details, but he confessed that he could only study in English, and he said that much of that was propaganda. The full details of how to have of what was Jefferson's vision for us, for our culture, and as Joseph Smith, Jr. saw that for us as well, are found in The Commentary for the Scriptures of the lost tribes of Israel. At least we have this until we have other first hand accounts to work with.

God Bless,
Darren

[gkearney]

Darren;

The challenge as I see it however is that the saints no longer live together in isolation from the prevailing culture. Without this sort of self containment, which is not really viable today I am having trouble seeing how we can implement the sort of social change that would be needed to make this come about.

[Darren]

Darren;

The challenge as I see it however is that the saints no longer live together in isolation from the prevailing culture. Without this sort of self containment, which is not really viable today I am having trouble seeing how we can implement the sort of social change that would be needed to make this come about.

I have to admit that I share your pessimism, in light of seeing so many examples of great people who aspired to do great things and eventually being overpowered by the bigger forces at play.

Ray Noorda to me is a poster child for good efforts being sabotaged by the bad side. Ray was a good man with a personal mission to bring high paying work to thousands of his LDS brothers and sisters, an assignment he received from his uncle, Bishop John H. Vandenberg, Presiding Bishop of the Church. By 2005 Ray had given or pledged most if not all of his fortunes away to charity, while the rats and trash of humanity in our Church sprang forward to get anything they could away from him. Ray gave 140 million dollars to the Church and that cost him his daughter's life, and exposed a rotten side to the LDS bureaucracy, that had to be quickly covered up.

After Cleon Skousen set up the Freeman Institute in Provo he suffered a heart attack, and while he was convalescing the Institute fell prey to sabotage by John Harmer, who turned the Institute into a political machination of sorts, a place for brokering political favors for Utah elite, and the Institute had to be shut down and moved by those loyal to Cleon Skousen's message and work, up to Juniper, Idaho.

So much of what would be termed as the heritage of the Mormon pioneers, the grand undertakings and businesses, has been taken over by oversees controllers. Utahn's are laughed at by the power elite and looked at as a bunch of hicks who keep doing their duty to produce amazing innovations, that are easy pickings for the real controllers of the world economy.

So, yes the deck is stacked against us. I just wish it wasn't so.

I have a dumb faith in things that seem impossible, I also know that I need to try, with revelation being in-line with what I am trying to do.

God Bless,
Darren

[Darren]

it looks like I am getting sabotaged, too. ... I have tried to post and only the post I put in today on true vs false culture was printed online. This has happened to me before, where I simply would not get posted, or my posts would not go up for a week or more, and by that time they would lose their relevancy. Survivaldealer, who has since been banned from this forum (for reasons I cannot fathom) told me what was happening the first time and said I needed to complain to Brian and insist on being treated "just like everyone else". Soon I started getting posted again, but now I am having the same problem. I posted here on "sisters serving missions and forgoing marraige " a PEW study on marraige and I hope eventually you see it. And the other ones that have not and probably will not make it on.

I am simply baffled as to why gkearney cannot or will not see that this "culture" you speak of is not innately germanic but is part of the revealed gospel and all different cultures are apostates from this, they are not just "different".

All people who want to build Zion must take on this true culture in some way or eventually be destroyed to make way for the millenium. This EQM stuff you talk of really got to me. How simple perfection really is.

I really want to know more about this Noorda story. (there is someone else you mention in regards to this, that I knew, too. what a small world!) I looked back in your posts of the past and saw a little about it. Don't know the guy but his name is a dutch one. What did the church do, and why?

How do you feel about it? Is a question I wish I could ask, but I would probably not get it posted. I also want to know why your are so convinced of the veracity of the scriptures of the Lost 10 Tribes? I cannot see a copy of these anywhere, so I wonder if they really exist. Why are you so sure that they do?

Maybe if you put my questions online, you would get posted. And then you could publicly answer them.

And don't be so discouraged. If you knew more of my reasons for being so interested in your subjects here, it might cheer you up some. If I live long enough, I DO plan to do something with all this stuff you are telling me.

Passionflower,

My guess is that your posting problems are more technical than being blocked. Brian has a really great site and software suite to run it, but I guess that sometimes submissions fail because of the variety of technical elements involved in moving data around, and the software in our own computers as well. Whenever you make a posting, always keep a copy of the text you put in the submission box, so that you can resubmit it if you see a failure happen in the system. I have lost many posts trying to submit them, and have had to resubmit them later. Or you can compose your post in a word processor then copy and paste it into the submission box, that way you have your original copy before you put it into the box to post.

I agree with your conviction on the traditional Mormon Culture is innately New England Puritan as a continuation of Germanic/Anglo/Saxon culture. And the rest of the world has come around to adopting the Germanic/American culture for business, as it is the traditional culture of what works. The realization is slowly setting in that the Greek culture is nothing more than the false culture of Babylon, as that has infected the Traditional Germanic Culture, and the Greek infection needs to be put in its place as the culture missing the true and higher principles.

EQM is all about having your intelligence working with the perfect intelligence of the Holy Ghost to do all things spiritual and temporal by the focus of pure intelligence. When that is institutionalized you have the True Culture.

Ray Noorda was CEO of Novell between 1982 and 1994. In 1982 he purchased control over the failing Novell Data Systems, that was set up as a networking hardware company, he fired the hardware guy, Dennis Fairclough, the ring leader from the ERI group, but Ray kept working with the software guys, the former ERI co-employees of Dennis of Drew Major, Dale Neibaur and Kyle Powell, who worked as the SuperSet Software group. Novell Data Systems was a blackmail ripoff by those 4 men from ERI's government contracts and other ERI clients, Ray came on board after the fact of the thefts, and was able to build Novel to be worth 1.123 billion dollars. Jim Bills, who took over Novel for Ray witnessed the thugs from India that came over to "kick the Mormons out." The way that the world power brokers take what they want from innovative Mormons and the Mormon Community. And there is much more to this story.

Ray Noorda said that he tried early on to give the Church his Novel networking technology to use on its computers, but after visiting with the visionless employees at the Church Office Building he said that he walked out to the curb and dusted the dust off of his feet. Later Ray set up a 501 (3) (c) company named Angel Partners to convey the value of 100 million dollars worth of Novel Stock to the Church, that after it was sold ended up making available to the Church through the Angel Partners, Inc. 140 million dollars, for the Church to use for technological advancements. Unfortunately some of the connected Church employees were less than capable in dealing with that influx of 140 million dollars and there was some accommodations suddenly given to an employee and a department. That employee disappointed the Church Leadership in his behavior and he ended up being reassigned to duties outside of the country. Several people felt entitled to more than Ray had intended, and the end result was that 2 people were shot in the head, including an old friend of mine. The Church did the best they could with what was going on around them.

Amazing at how temple covenants can mean so little to some Church members when there is money involved.

The Written Scriptures of the lost tribes of Israel are relegated to collections of Nordic Fairy Tales, but proved to be structurally factual by the Church's collection of genealogy records. In my possession is Bruce Wydner's Compilation of what is effectively the Comprehensive Study Manual for the "God Story" in these Nordic Fairy Tales, associated genealogical records and commentaries by historians. And when lead through the myth to the bedrock story by this study manual, a how to do it manual of Bruce Wydner's becomes a clear vision of the visit of the Lord to the lost tribes of Israel, and the subsequent culture that has had a continuation until today, as it is.

Without the Comprehensive Study Manual the disconnected pieces fail somewhat to deliver the Scriptures of the lost tribes of Israel, that they are part of. So you have to have some faith that Bruce Wydner found the way to deliver the perspective that he has. I am the number 2 guy with that perspective, the understudy, and have been involved at a level, able to make these things available.

God Bless,
Darren

[passionflower]

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[Darren]

With the new emphasis and pressure for younger sisters to serve missions coming from the culture, is this the end of the era of having young women champion their number one responsibility of getting married and having a quiver full of children, and instead move that responsibility to the back burner for a time, to trade valuable time and resources for the experience that is the Mormon Culture's version of "extended adolescence," finding yourself (a teaching from femin-ism), and keep in step with a Babylon Culture of extended adolescence, bachelorhood. Gone are the days when young women anticipated with full purpose, fulfilling their divinely appointed role, along side a returned missionary elder, with the purpose of beginning in their female role in adult life, at those first adult years.

With our enthusiasm to do what we thought the Prophet was telling the young women to do, we exploded into a new-culture that is not based on any utterance of any prophet, but now is the new reality. Welcome to the new extended adolescence reality for young women in Mormon Culture. As we now look to missions as the vehicle to "grow-up" (read: femin-ism initiate) our young women, instead of doing the right job in the home and in young women organizations. My question is, what has that change in Mormon Culture done to the overall purpose of Womanhood as we see that in the Church?

In my experience, having worked at one university after another for the past 30 years, what the young women do in their teens and twenties greatly influences the ability to be more of one type of women or another, i.e. Homemaker or Intellectual. Typically women who focused early in life on careers and stayed the course of getting their university education at an early age have poorly developed in what I call the Art of Womanhood. I see a large percentage of the single sisters coming from this pool that have committed to getting their education done early, putting resources into that basket, whereas those sisters who got to the business of Womanhood and Motherhood early in life had a different experience, with a different perspective, and depth of knowledge, talent and skill set.

You get your new Mormon culture, but at what cost. Will femin-ism in the Church help bring on The Cleansing?

I look at Mary, the mother of Jesus as the role model for young women wherein she encapsulates the role of womanhood when she said, "Be it unto me" the role of submitting to the will of God. And Eve, even though she broke the rules, eventually submitted by covenant to her righteous husband. Instead in our Church we are encouraging our young women to "let it go" (as it is desirable to break some rules for some other expedient good) and find yourselves.

With the encroachment of femin-ism upon our culture the needs of the young men are slowly sliding into obscurity, or worse, are getting the same treatment that society in general has for young men. These are harrowing times.

God Bless,
Darren

[passionflower]

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