Sisters serving missions & forgoing marriage?

[passionflower]

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[passionflower]

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[Darren]

culture discussion moved ...
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=34471

[Darren]

I really love running into articles, written years ago, that echo what we need to hear today. Nothing has changed, yet everything has changed. No guilt trip intended; just think about it…

THE PRESENT-DAY NEED FOR TRAINING OUR DAUGHTERS IN HOMEMAKING SKILLS

“No matter what other interests a girl has in life, what line of academic learning she desires to pursue, what service she chooses to render in the world, every normal girl expects some day to marry and have a home. Such being the case, regardless of the training she may acquire in other fields, she should be trained in the art and skill of homemaking. Girls cannot fully enjoy their homes and families unless they have learned proper values relative to homemaking activities.

Homemaking experiences include clothing purchase, production, and care, food purchase and preparation, home improvement activities, infant care, guidance of children, home management, consumer buying as well as experiences in family and social relationships and personal care and improvement.

Mothers want their daughters to find peace and happiness in their homes. They also want them to have time outside of their homemaking activities for intellectual development, social and religious activities. This will be possible if girls have acquired managerial ability and a working knowledge of homemaking skills.

No girl should grow up to say, ‘I’ve never taken a stitch in my life; I can’t use a thimble; I’ve never helped with the family laundry; I can’t bake a cake’ No one girl is apt to become an expert in all lines of homemaking, but there is no reason for her not knowing the fundamentals in all lines in case a need for this knowledge arises. The family income may be large enough to relieve her of the necessity of home production in order to conserve and stretch the buying power of the family dollars, but one cannot see all the problems that lie ahead, and there is no greater asset to any individual than to be prepared.

If mothers and daughters plan together, and work together to carry out their plans, a closer companionship grows up between them than is possible when mothers make all the plans in the home and execute them themselves while daughter goes her way with her interests all outside the home. Mothers need to get close to their daughters and enjoy confidential companionship with them.

We should sense our responsibility in doing all we can to help our daughters prepare themselves to be wise, helpful wives and mothers, and women, when they assume those roles in homes of their own. As mothers in Israel we should resolve to rally to our responsibility and to discharge it with enthusiasm and efficiency.”

Article written by Leda T. Jensen, RS General Board Member, RS Mag Oct 1941

http://www.ldswomenofgod.com/?p=2937" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Darren]

LDS Sister Missionaries Rap

[Darren]

Mormon Elders manage influx (almost half now) of Sister Missionaries out in service around the world preaching the gospel of Christ with male counterparts.

[Darren]

I'm Waiting for a Sister Missionary




Men waiting for sister missionaries: Differing expectations in Church culture
... the tides are turning and many men are “waiting” for missionaries.
http://universe.byu.edu/2013/11/21/men- ... 6jT5S.dpuf

‘Sister missionaries’ causing a gender shift in Mormonism, BYU prof says
Lowering the age for LDS "sister missionaries" to 19 from 21 has created a major shift in "gender negotiations"
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/blogsfaith ... s.html.csp

Why young LDS men are pushing back marriage
LDS leaders may be fighting a cultural shift.
http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/lifestyle/ ... n.html.csp

Mormon Family Shrinkage
In the afterlife, will we become reacquainted with souls who would have been in our families if we had not kept them from coming?
http://mormonmatters.org/2008/02/10/mor ... shrinkage/

[A Random Phrase]

Wouldn't it be better to focus one's time on coming to Christ? On having a personal relationship with Him? On entering His presence (2nd Comforter, calling and election made sure, and other stuff Joseph taught)?

The focus on young women you have no charge over, jumping and sounding an alarm where there is no fire makes no sense to me. Focus on Christ. Put your thoughts on how you can best serve Him. Ask Him sincerely what it is you lack, what it is that is preventing you from coming to Him and seeing His face.

It is CHRIST and coming to Him that should be #1 priority, not fretting about women not getting married over some imagined cause. Can't pop out baby 16 because you committed the horrendous sin of not marrying until you were 20 1/2 years old. Heck, most men and women are still babies in our society until they reach 22-24 years old.

One would think that women in our society die at age 35 of old age or that they become unmarriageable at age 20 from what this thread advocates.

[passionflower]

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[Darren]

The fervor in our Neo-Mormon Culture is for young women to be serving as Sister Missionaries. And true to the feminist cause less attention paid to traditional women's roles.

We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... Gloria Steinem

[Darren]

Wouldn't it be better to focus one's time on coming to Christ? On having a personal relationship with Him? On entering His presence (2nd Comforter, calling and election made sure, and other stuff Joseph taught)?
...
It is CHRIST and coming to Him that should be #1 priority, not fretting about women not getting married over some imagined cause. ...

That is why the real message of this topic is to come to Zion, True Culture, and leave Babylon, False Culture. Nobody can find Jesus in accepting or promoting False Culture.

Do you know anyone in our Church that could use that message, but instead they are caught up in False Culture?

“23. Verily, verily I say unto you, darkness covereth the earth, and gross darkness the minds of the people, and all flesh has become corrupt before my face.
24. Behold, vengeance cometh speedily upon the inhabitants of the earth, a day of wrath, a day of burning, a day of desolation, of weeping, of mourning, and of lamentation; and as a whirlwind it shall come upon all the face of the earth, saith the Lord.
25. And upon my house shall it begin, and from my house shall it go forth, saith the Lord;
26. First among those among you, saith the Lord, who have professed to know my name and have not known me, and have blasphemed against me in the midst of my house, saith the Lord.”

The focus of the problem in this Revelation is upon those in His “house,” “our People,” “who have professed to know my name and have not known me, and have blasphemed against me in the midst of my house, saith the Lord.”

Anyone who cares to can easily see the customary practice of LDS people, who “testify” in various ways. It is customary that what is said is often: “I know THAT …” this is true or that is true, etc.

It seems that LDS People, in general, feel that it is a wonderful, happy thing that in the Latter Days, in these days of the Restoration of the Gospel, so many millions of people today, all over the earth and in so many different languages, are able to testify to these things.
However, although this is a wonderful, happy thing, in relation to the Revelation that is given in Section 112, there is one thing that all know is very rare to hear in testimonies, perhaps because it is felt to be too sacred. It may be so rare that, perhaps, many may have never heard it being said, in their hearing, by another person.

That is, there may be many who have never heard that, instead of expressions such as, “I know THAT …,” there may be many who are able to truthfully say exactly what the Lord indicates is missing “among” some, in the Revelation in Section 112. That missing part might be expressed in an observation that someone might make in relation to this subject as: “One can frequently hear LDS People say, ‘I know THAT … Jesus is the Christ,’ but, I have never heard any of them ever say, ‘I know Jesus Christ.’”

It is felt among those who have the great love that they have for the millions of people who have accepted the Restoration of the Gospel in the Latter Days that there are a great many of them who, along with their First Prophet, Joseph Smith, are able to testify, “I know Jesus Christ.” They also know that because Joseph Smith was able to so testify of that and more in the way that Heavenly Father commanded him to, followers of Satan murdered him.

In the most holy of circumstances, in a conversation in the temple, for example, many of these Brothers and Sisters might bear witness to others how it is that they, individually, are able to truthfully testify: “I know Jesus Christ.” As they do that there are Scriptures that they might refer to that showed them “the way” by which they came to this knowledge.

Because of the existence of these Scriptures it cannot be felt that it has been because of any shortcoming in the Restoration of the Gospel that there are enough of those in “my house” that merited His saying, concerning them, that it will be “First among those among you who have professed to know my name and have not known me, and have blasphemed against me in the midst of my house,” that it will be that the beginning will originate of the “vengeance” that “cometh speedily upon the inhabitants of the earth” because “darkness covereth the earth and gross darkness the minds of the people, and all flesh has become corrupt before my face.”

The Revelation indicates a problem with “the minds of the people,” with the words, “darkness covereth the earth and gross darkness the minds of the people.”

There might be a lot of interest in answers to the question, “Why is it that ‘darkness covereth the earth and gross darkness the minds of the people’?”

However, at this moment, that is not the motive for presenting the information that is being presented here.
Our only interest, at this moment, is to go through those Scriptures that show everybody in the world what the Lord has said is “the Way” that everybody in the world can come to “know” him.

After that is done and the content of these Scriptures is before all who want this presented, then it seems that it is proper to consider, “How it is in that Content that the Lord says that ‘the way will open up’ to allow all of those who want to come to know Him, to come to know Him, before the destruction of the wicked begins that was referred to in this Revelation and in so many others.”

If the only diversion in Mormon Culture was a passion and love for sisters serving missions, I would say more power to the sisters. For me picking the diversion of focusing on the sisters serving missions, has become just the right agitation (Who would be against the sisters?) to a people who have systemically damaged their culture, of which calling attention to that one thing, of sisters serving missions seems to be the only way I can find to begin to wake some of them up to the extent of that damaged culture. Direct teaching of True Culture has had no effect.

One of the most bitter sadnesses that is encountered, as the Scriptures that our Father in Heaven has restored and made available to His children on the Earth in the Latter Days, is the information in relation to how the Enemy of Mankind, Satan, cheats so many of the Lord’s children out of the Main Blessing that all of us “shouted for joy, Job 38:7,” for, when we were told that we were going to be able to come to this Earth and be given the “opportunity” to attain that Joy. That Joy was that the “eternal part” of each of us, the Everlasting Intelligence, that is the eternal part of each one of us, was to have the opportunity here to seek the Lord’s TRUTH, and, by then living by it, to have it so that our Everlasting Intelligences are able to “be with” our Heavenly Father’s Perfect Everlasting Intelligence, forever.
In 1 Corinthians 15:40-41 Paul teaches:
40 There are also celestial bodies, and bodies terrestrial: but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another.
41 There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars: for one star differeth from another star in glory.
In D&C 76 our Father in Heaven provides us with information on these Three Degrees of Glory, these Three “Kingdoms.”
In D&C 76:103-104 some information is provided to us about those who are “defeated” by Satan into committing the Sins that block our Father in Heaven’s children from returning, to be with Him, and, instead, being condemned to that lowest Kingdom, the Telelestial Kingdom. In verse 104 we learn about those who commit the Sins named in verse 103:
104. These are they who suffer the wrath of God on earth.

However, in addition to those very sad Sins, that are mentioned in verse 103, which the readers of the Scriptures have always heard will condemn those who commit them to the punishment of being in that lowest of the Three Kingdoms in the Next World, in the condition where they will have none of the contact, at all, with their Father in Heaven that we all shouted for Joy for the opportunity to have, there are two Sins that are mentioned in verse 103 which show how so much of Satan’s efforts works, which “cheats” so many of the Members of the Human Family out of their being able to be with their Heavenly Father. The specification of some of those Sins, which are among those which condemn Members of the Human Family to that lowest Kingdom, is information about what many Christians feel are awful Sins, to the point that they merit the condemnation that is mentioned in these Scriptures. However, in D&C 76:103 that mentioning of those awful Sins concludes with: “… and whosoever loves and makes a lie.”

It seems that so many people that one speaks with are of the opinion of how “Lies” dominate so much of the activities of Mankind. And, it seems that so many of them incline to the opinion that “whosoever … makes a lie” is deserving of very serious punishment. But, the question that we are now considering is the punishment that goes to those of Mankind who are describable as “whosoever loves … a lie.”

With so many people of the opinion of how “Lies” dominate so much of the activities of Mankind, it is only understandable that people, in general, would appreciate the presentations of information to them that indicate which of the things that are presented to them are Lies, so that they can be esteemed as such, in their minds, and can be regarded as being no more than only the worthless Lies that they are. Being regarded as being nothing at all more than the worthless Lies that they are makes it so that their estimation of worthlessness, in the attitudes of a person, makes it so that that person, indeed, cannot be considered, “whosoever loves a lie,” as regards that particular Lie.

Therefore, it is thought that it would be with gratitude from people, in general, when they are provided with the information which shows them how it is that certain items of generally present information are not True but are only Lies.

Zion is not among us, and its our fault. Now here comes the Cleansing.

I am for True Culture, that's all.

God Bless,
Darren

[Darren]

10 Things Girls Who Aren't Serving Missions Want You To Know
by Madeleine Rose Richards


Nobody panic, I'm not becoming the spokesperson for girls who aren't serving missions. And maybe not every girl feels like this. But for a majority of girls that I've talked to, there are some things we'd like the public at large to understand about our decision, and how you can help. Also, I know that not everyone assumes things about girls going on missions, some people are very open and happy with anyone's decision. This is just my rambling to those who I have come in contact with who don't understand some of these things, and I want to clarify.

1. We still love the Gospel. Yes, that's right! Just because we aren't dedicating a year and a half of our lives to solely preach the Gospel, doesn't mean we aren't dedicating every day of our lives to the Lord. We are looking for ways to help, serve, teach, and minister every single day. Even though we don't wear a badge on our chest, we all have "badges painted on our heart" as Elder Nelson would say.

2. When you go on about how attractive sister missionaries are, how you'll only marry an RM, and how much of a better mom a girl is who has served a mission, it can hurt our feelings. You probably don't mean it to be offensive, but it is. We look at the path we've chosen as inferior in your eyes. We see our future children and wonder if you're right about their mother and how less spiritual she'll be. We wonder if we should go and serve solely because it will make us more attractive to you. We think our personal scripture study, the fulfilling of our callings, our desire to serve others, our teaching and helping those around us, isn't enough. We'll still be great wives and mothers, promise!

3. We appreciate it when you recognize those of us who haven't served missions in your lessons/talks. We love missionary work. Honestly we do. What we don't love, is feeling that we missed out on something by choosing not to serve. The Church's focus IS missionary work, but that doesn't necessarily mean a full-time mission. We love hearing about how to serve as a member and how to be an example to those around you no matter where you live. We're not crazy about lessons detailing how every, single person should serve a mission, it's always the best option, you'll never be close to the spirit like you will be on a mission, asking people if they have a mission story they'd like to share, or saying "If you've served a mission, you understand this..." This can also offend guys who were worthy to serve, and weren't able to.

4. We've prayed about our decision. I was a little taken back when a member of my ward asked me if I'd prayed about my decision to not serve. That's a very personal, and very frustrating thing to be asked. So let me just put all your minds at ease, we've prayed about it. Or we're praying about it. We're going to be obedient to the answer we've been given, and hopefully that's acceptable in your eyes.

5. We aren't all looking to get married. Sometimes it seems there are two options; go on a mission or find a husband. Some of us aren't doing either. Sure, we're open to the idea of marriage, but we didn't stay home from missions to get married and have a million kids. Some of us are focusing on school, careers, church service, and some of us were just plain told not to serve a mission and we're making it our goal to be a tool in Heavenly Father's hands, wherever he needs us. I'll go where you want me to go, oh Lord...even if that means staying right here.

6. No two of us are the same. We have different goals, different reasons for not serving. Some sisters don't have the desire to serve, and that's ok! Some do have the desire, and couldn't go for medical or other reasons, and that's ok too! Some of us have the desire to serve, and through personal revelation realized that serving a mission was not part of our plan. And that's ok too! Some of us are older, some of us are younger, it doesn't matter! We're all different, we all love the Gospel, and we're all striving to be our best selves.

7. We appreciate when you're proud of our accomplishments. Sometimes it's hard to watch you get so excited when someone is submitting their mission papers, gets their call, or is heading out, and not be as excited for the good things we're accomplishing. Sometimes, we feel like the things we're doing aren't important or wonderful. Help us see that going to school, getting that job, acing a test, or taking time out to help others, is exciting and important too.

8. We're proud of our fellow sisters. We applaud them and their diligence, we appreciate them and we love them. We want to help the missionaries and show our support for them. We value their service as our sisters and we want them to accomplish great things. Our choosing not to go has no reflection on sister missionary service, or women's place in the church for that matter.

9. We are busy. We probably aren't busy in the same way full-time missionaries are, but we are busy! We're going to school or working, serving in church callings, helping our families and friends, taking time for personal worship, reading, learning, growing, helping, teaching and a million other things!

10. We need your love! Sometimes it's easy to feel down, beaten, and inferior. We appreciate every single person who lifts us up, makes us smile, and helps us realize we aren't alone. And we love you right back!

http://averagedayofaginger.blogspot.com ... rving.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Darren]

It is MY problem with LDS sister missionaries

It is MY problem with LDS sister missionaries by Reid Baer – not a spokesman for the church - not a misogynist either.

- There has been a number if instances where Sister Missionaries have bucked priesthood authority.
- They are so emotional. Sister Missionary couples create so much drama.
- They find men who are attractive to them, and will respond to the sisters, and the sisters are able to push them, cannot resist, and are just interested in the attractive sisters.
- Sisters have to prove themselves.
- My mother was a returned missionary, she was passive-aggressive. What kind of wives are these sisters going to make, disregarding the order of God on Earth?

[Darren]

I hope they call me on a mission





A Cultural Emphasis to usher in False Member Doctrine. "May" or "Should," one word the Prophet said the other word is what members heard.

God Bless,
Darren

[Darren]

Sisters Serving Missions
Missions Signal a Growing Role for Mormon Women
In the coming years, these women are expected to fundamentally alter this most American of churches, whose ruling patriarchs not long ago excommunicated feminist scholars and warned women not to hold jobs while raising children. Church leaders have been forced to reassess their views because Mormon women are increasingly supporting households, marrying later and less frequently, and having fewer children. And for the first time, waves of women like Ms. Farr are taking part in the church’s crucial coming-of-age ritual, returning home from their missions with unprecedented scriptural fluency, new confidence and new ideas about themselves.

... Maxine Hanks, one of the excommunicated feminist scholars, recently rejoined the church because she sees “so much progress” for women, she said in an interview.

Yet the church’s attempt to rethink the place of women promises to be one of the most sensitive gender experiments of coming years, with Mormon authorities running simultaneous risks of going too far and not far enough. To revise female roles in the church threatens what many see as the very foundations of the faith, which dictate that men are ordained as priests at the tender age of 18, taking the title “Elder,” while women, who can never progress beyond “Sister,” are considered holiest and most fulfilled as wives and mothers.

... With the surge in female missionaries, the wives of mission presidents, like Mrs. Christensen, tend to have greater roles.

“I really wanted to serve a mission,” she said in an interview a few days later, but like most women of her generation, she stayed home instead. She was echoing what the female missionaries said about their mothers. They had wanted the adventure of serving, but church authorities encouraged them to stay home and build families instead. (A refrain back then was that women chose missions because their marriage prospects were poor.) Now mothers are living out their dreams through their daughters.

“Maybe in the past, homemakers didn’t get that chance” to do missions, said Mrs. Christensen, her eyes welling.

“It used to be that mission was the rite of passage for men, and marriage was the rite of passage for women,” said Ms. Hanks, the feminist scholar who returned to the church. Now, she said, “the church has officially established the mission as an equal rite of passage for women.”

And Forgoing Marriage
... Ms. Sagers, who will start the doctoral program at Harvard next fall, added that she had “post-mission optimism” about her marriage prospects. “They have three singles wards in Cambridge,” she said.

But the push for marriage can be complicated for the growing cohort of well-educated Mormon women in their 30s and older with high-powered careers. They are encouraged to date, but they are expected to remain chaste until they marry. And while many women may want husbands who value a two-career household, they say that many Mormon men are not interested in wives with careers, because a mother’s primary role is to shape the character of their children.

“Men still have the dream of the six or seven kids, and you’ve aged out of that dream,” said Kimberly Houk, 37, a television journalist in the Salt Lake City area. “I’m doing my part. I keep my weight down and my looks attractive. If I wanted to be married, I could choose someone who is choosing me.”

The odds make it increasingly difficult for Mormon women to find a Mormon mate as they get older. In Utah, the heart of Mormonism, among Mormons 40 and older who attend church at least once a month, there are 10 unmarried women for every 4 unmarried men. Many single women say the church is at something of a loss about how to address the issue. While the church teaches that marrying within the faith is ideal, some older single women say their bishops have advised them that it would be acceptable to date non-Mormons.

“I started meeting so many incredible older women in their 30s who were still single,” she said. At the time, she felt, “I don’t understand, because if marriage is a reward for being obedient and being righteous, why are these women still single?”

... More and more, the church is being forced to consider the demands of women who question the guidance of their male religious leaders. The women say they love their church, but share their frustrations on blogs like Feminist Mormon Housewives.

... Ms. Farr grew up loving the church, but was unwilling to rely on the old expectation that a man would support her, her mother, Emily Farr, said in a phone interview. ...

Still, she sounded a bit uncertain about how her daughter’s grand plans would work out. Ashley dislikes the kitchen and cannot prepare much beyond cookies and toast — still apostasy for a Mormon wife. Her boyfriend “would like it more if she were to cook,” Mrs. Farr said.

But the daughter brushed those concerns away.

“I am what I am,” she said, adding that she was in no rush to embark on marriage. “Even if I waited until I was 30 or 35, that would be O.K.”

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/02/us/a- ... .html?_r=0

Let "Traditional Culture" Go
Can't Hold "The New Mormon Culture" Back Anymore

[Darren]

The Importance of Women in the Lord’s Kingdom
by Brother James Clarke, High Councilman for the Boulder Ridge Stake, Utah (7/2014)

... Within the church at large we have witnessed some fascinating policy changes in the last few years, which have advanced women’s positions. The lowering of the mission age for women is chief among them and will undoubtedly yield a generation of returned sister missionaries with knowledge and skills unparalleled in the history of women in the church.

... Careful review of the Family Proclamation finds no mention of laundry, dishes, or vacuuming, and its safe to assume that these household duties can be spread out more effectively amongst all of the members of the family in many cases.
http://threelittlepiranhas.blogspot.com/

When it comes to the role of women in Neo-Mormonism, it is always "safe to assume" that which follows the trend towards the popular New False Culture.

[Darren]

How to recognize a Mormon Feminist: Code Words

I am one who probably would have served if this change had come in my time. However, I was married at 19 years old, and I know very well that serving a mission was not in God's plan for me. I'm thrilled that my girls will have this choice, however!

I am also appalled at the outcry. I have heard things like, "well, this is almost the way we want it" --expressing concern that women "only" serve for 18 months and not a full 2 years, as if it means women are valued less? I've also heard the arrogance that it was a grass-roots effort that illicted the change; liberal feminists are finally being heard! Wha?! Since when do liberal feminists who hate the way their religion treats women have any say in how the Church runs things? I just. Don't. Get. It. Or where they are gathering their information.

Honestly, I'm grateful the Apostles are not outwardly bothered by the things that are said about how they change policies. I think it takes true integrity and strength to follow the Lord's will, in spite of it seeming to come from other sources. And I feel sorry for those who feel that they are the reason the Church makes decisions. Perhaps they are indirectly (love for our members, eh?), but the arrogance of it really makes me cringe.

Cheryl
http://wellbehavedmormonwoman.blogspot. ... 9llaqNCzxU" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[passionflower]

-delete-

[Darren]

Her message, "Embrace being a woman." How is that for a great missionary message to take to the world.

Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “Can we see how the importance of eternal marriage can be understood only within the context of the Father’s plan of happiness? The doctrine of the plan leads men and women to hope and prepare for eternal marriage, and it defeats the fears and overcomes the uncertainties that may cause some individuals to delay or avoid marriage.
A correct understanding of the plan also strengthens our resolve to steadfastly honor the covenant of eternal marriage” (“Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” Liahona, June 2006, 53).

Embrace Womanhood, a Sacred Role
I embrace being a woman. I embrace femininity. ...

I believe all woman are entitled to certain knowledge and to be made aware of certain truths. This will enable them to be empowered and will bring forth their greatest potential, enabling them to fulfill their calling in life. They will be women that great men fall in love with. They will go on to have good marriages and build strong, loving families.

I believe women should have the RIGHTS to this because it was designed by God Himself, that way. Gone were the days that where there were solid systems of passing this wealth of knowledge from one generation to the next. We have forgone them for instant gratification and an increasingly distracted society.
http://www.elegantwoman.org/womanhood.html

Embrace Motherhood, a Sacred Role

Motherhood is under attack. Nearly one in five American women ends her childbearing years without having borne a child, compared with one in ten in 1970. In 2007, among Christians, 47% felt that the roles of marriage and motherhood should not be emphasized for women. And unfortunately, the church isn't talking about why motherhood matters, nor is it equipping young mothers to see their family as a mission field. Erin Davis was a young Christian wife who had made the decision to not have children. She had multiple degrees, a great husband, a promising career -- she had it all -- at least according to cultural standards. But most days she felt anything but fulfilled. In Beyond Bath Time Erin shares her journey to the place of true fulfillment in responding to the call of motherhood. Women will be challenged, convicted, and wonderfully encouraged by Erin's honest and provocative look at motherhood and its divine call.
http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Bath-Time- ... 0802405622

[Darren]

Young men giving up on marriage: ‘Women aren’t women anymore’



Fewer young men in the US want to get married than ever, ... according to the Pew Research Center.

Pew’s findings have caught the attention of one US writer who maintains that feminism, deeply entrenched in every segment of the culture, has created an environment in which young men find it more beneficial to simply opt out of couple-dom entirely.

... the institution of marriage is threatened, not enhanced, by the supposed gains of the feminist movement over the last 50 years.

“Where have all the good (meaning marriageable) men gone?” is a question much talked about lately in the secular media, Venker says, but her answer, backed up by statistics, is not to the liking of mainstream commentators influenced by feminism.

She points out that for the first time in US history, the number of women in the workforce has surpassed the number of men, while more women than men are acquiring university degrees.

“The problem? This new phenomenon has changed the dance between men and women,” Venker wrote. With feminism pushing them out of their traditional role of breadwinner, protector and provider – and divorce laws increasingly creating a dangerously precarious financial prospect for the men cut loose from marriage – men are simply no longer finding any benefit in it.

As a writer and researcher into the trends of marriage and relationships, Venker said, she has “accidentally stumbled upon a subculture” of men who say “in no uncertain terms, that they’re never getting married.”

“When I ask them why, the answer is always the same: women aren’t women anymore.” Feminism, which teaches women to think of men as the enemy, has made women “angry” and “defensive, though often unknowingly.”

“Now the men have nowhere to go. It is precisely this dynamic – women good/men bad – that has destroyed the relationship between the sexes. Yet somehow, men are still to blame when love goes awry.”

“Men are tired,” Venker wrote. “Tired of being told there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. Tired of being told that if women aren’t happy, it’s men’s fault.”

Feminism and the sexual revolution have simply made marriage “obsolete” for women as a social and economic refuge, but this is a situation that should not be celebrated by feminists, Venker says.

A cross section of research data from the Pew Research Center for the last months of 2012 shows the alarming trends for marriage and child-bearing in the US. One report published in mid-December said that the latest census data showed “barely half” of all adults in the United States are currently married, a “record low”. Since 1960, the number of married adults has decreased from 72 percent to 51 today and the number of new marriages in the U.S. declined by five percent between 2009 and 2010.

Moreover, the median age at first marriage continues to rise with women getting married the first time at 26.5 years and men at 28.7. The declines in marriage are “most dramatic” among young adults. Just 20 percent of those aged 18 to 29 are married, compared with 59 percent in 1960.

“If current trends continue, the share of adults who are currently married will drop to below half within a few years,” the report said.

Moreover, the link between marriage and childrearing has become disconnected in the minds of the so-called Millennial generation, those between 18 and 29. While 52 percent of Millennials say being a good parent is “one of the most important things” in life, just 30 per cent say the same about having a successful marriage, an attitudinal survey found.

The gap, of 22 percentage points, between the value Millennials place on parenthood over marriage, was just 7 points in 1997. The research found that Millennials, many of whom are the children of divorce and single-parenthood themselves, are also less likely than their elders to say that a child needs both a father and mother at home, that single parenthood and unmarried couple parenthood are bad for society.

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/young- ... en-anymore

With Mormon Culture not far behind.

[Darren]

Everything Just Changed for Me

... it hit me that my daughters should go as much as my boys should. Now, you know I'm a feminist and I would have always encouraged my girls to go. But I didn't go on a mission and it really is optional in my mind for girls to go. But I want my daughters to be the kind of women who would go.

There used to be this unspoken thing for women like, "go on a mission if you've got nothing else going on." I would never have said that. In fact I didn't even know I harbored thoughts like that until I felt my mind changing. But I realized that I'm going to prepare them all to go. That's my job now. 3/4 of my kids are baptized. This is the next thing we are doing.

Now that they leave younger, it has become more of a parenting task to prepare them to go. Know what I mean?

I know there are factors out of my control and that my kids are their own people. They might not end up going on missions. But I think serving a mission is the best thing for them—like nursing, a sleep schedule, being read to, having chores, getting braces, and making them do their homework is the best thing for them. Serving a mission is no longer a decision Maggie or Ellen will make as a young adult. It's something they will do as teenagers, when I am still in charge of them.

Everything just changed.

http://www.kacyfaulconer.com/2013/04/ev ... or-me.html

[Darren]

LDS Living - Married at 19: Worth Every “Lost Experience”

I've heard that those who get married young are losing out on great life experiences like traveling and "finding yourself." But getting married at 19 has given me more opportunities, not fewer.

I never planned to be a teenage bride.

In fact, since I was a little girl, I planned to go on a mission. And then I thought that once I’d done that, I’d get on to graduating college, moving to the city, buying a cute little studio apartment, and getting a gorgeous Great Dane to keep me company. Where was a husband in all that planning? Maybe somewhere in my mid-to-late twenties, after I had established myself the way I wanted: as a strong, independent, single woman.

But things didn’t work out that way.

I graduated high school and started college, right on track. I dated casually—for the practice and for the fun—until I met Matt. He was perfect. Intelligent and shy, kind and thoughtful, Matt was any girl’s dream guy. I can’t even tell you when I decided maybe a mission wasn’t for me and maybe Matt was—I just remember being so happy and thinking to myself that I would be contented for the rest of forever if Matt was with me.

He proposed when I was 18, after knowing me six months, and we got married six months after that, when I was 19.

And I became a Mormon cliché.

Even in Utah, I get funny looks when I mention how young I was when I entered into matrimony. I’ve had people shoot me strange looks. Sometimes they'll suddenly change the topic. I've heard awkward jokes about teen pregnancy statistics (after all, if I’d have a baby that first year, I would have been a teenage mother). But perhaps most common is for people to just gawp and ask a simple and incredulous, “But why?” Apparently, according to some, I’m missing out on wonderful life experiences single people have that married people don’t. I’m missing opportunities to travel, chances to meet new people, the prospect of learning who I am as a person by myself, and so much “more.”

But as someone who was married at 19, I don’t feel like I’m missing anything. Here's why:

I get to grow with my spouse. I seem to hear a lot that being single for several years post-high school lets you “find yourself.” But in my opinion, because I got married before I really had a chance to develop a lifestyle of my own, I get to grow in ways that complement my husband. Since we were sealed for eternity, growing together and finding out who we are together is more important than “finding myself.” It’s like Mandy Hale said: “True love makes you more of who you are, not less.”

I have more support in my trials sooner. Having a spouse is a special kind of support. I never feel like I’m bothering my husband when I come to him with a problem. From texting him when I’m having a bad day to helping me through some of life’s major trials, I can trust him to always be there for me because he covenanted with me and with the Lord that we would get through this life together. My trials won’t wait until I’m older—why should I have waited to get married and get that help?

I’m learning more about selflessness, sooner. For my marriage to work, I have to put my spouse first, even before my own desires. And that’s something a lot of young people struggle with. Getting married has given me the opportunity to work on developing this attribute of Christ—not only because I’m trying to be more selfless like the Savior, but because I love to make my husband happy. And when he’s happy, I’m happy.

Married couples are more financially stable, are happier, and live longer. Even if you disagree with my anecdotal evidence, the numbers don’t lie, either: married people have more money, are happier, and live longer, healthier lives. Getting married younger brings these benefits sooner, so why wait?

I still get to pursue my dreams, even if those dreams have changed. Being married—even married young—has never held me back. Did I get the chance to buy my Great Dane and live in the city? No. But I don’t want that anymore. I want something better. In the case of my dream for city living, I’m now thinking about moving to Europe with my husband for a few years, if we can. That’s a bigger dream. And I’m more excited about that goal than I ever was about my small personal ambitions.

Getting married so young isn't for everybody--we have to trust the Lord's timing in our lives for what's best for us, and marriage comes early for some, and later for others. It comes when it's right for us. And for me, getting married at 19 was right. So when others suggest it was a mistake, that I'm "missing out," I want them to know that those of us who did marry young aren't necessarily giving up any life experience. We gain different life experiences. And different doesn't mean better or worse--it just means not the same.

By getting married at 19, I wasn’t losing anything. I wanted to be strong, and I am. I wanted to be independent, and I am. But I’m also part of a team, one that’s helping me practice for eternity, one that’s made me happier than I ever thought possible, and one that’s worth every single “lost experience.”

http://ldsliving.com/story/76536-marrie ... pop2140814

[Darren]

Salt Lake City, We Have a Problem


...more missionaries are coming home early than ever before. The percentage is now into the double-digits, and it turns out the folks in Salt Lake City are already well aware that we have a problem. This is based on information quietly passed down the priesthood chain...

...we largely caused the problem ourselves by lowering the missionary age and, by doing it willy-nilly, creating The Surge.

...If 10% or more are coming home early, that probably means 30% wish they could, at least for a time.

...most of the increase came from sisters, since their age requirement decreased so dramatically from 21 to 19.

http://timesandseasons.org/index.php/20 ... a-problem/

[Darren]

Understanding Women’s Unique Role
Julie B. Beck, former General President of the Relief Society,

Knowing and defending the divine roles of women is so important in a world where women are bombarded with false messages about their identity. …The only place Latter-day Saint women will learn the whole and complete truth about their indispensable role in the plan of happiness is in this Church and its doctrine. We know that in the great premortal conflict we sided with our Savior, Jesus Christ, to preserve our potential to belong to eternal families. We know we are daughters of God, and we know what we are to do. Women find true happiness when they understand and delight in their unique role within the plan of salvation. The things women can and should do very best are championed and taught without apology here. We believe in the formation of eternal families. That means we believe in getting married. We know that the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. That means we believe in having children. We have faith that with the Lord’s help we can be successful in rearing and teaching children. These are vital responsibilities in the plan of happiness, and when women embrace those roles with all their hearts, they are happy! Knowing and defending the truth about families is the privilege of every sister in this Church” (What Latter-day Saint Women Do Best: Stand Strong and Immovable).

A pernicious philosophy that undermines women’s moral influence is the devaluation of marriage and of motherhood and homemaking as a career. Some view homemaking with outright contempt, arguing it demeans women and that the relentless demands of raising children are a form of exploitation. They ridicule what they call “the mommy track” as a career. (The Moral Force of Women, General Conference October 2013).

[Darren]

Men need a place to work for real men things, for their role to become the men, and women need real women things for their role to be the women. Women, force yourselves to be women, perfect womanhood, and quit eating away at the role of men. Men will come out of the woodwork to man-up for the real women. Traditional Culture does matter.

Where Are The Men?
I’ve heard a few statistics of late that have left me scratching my head and asking “What’s up with men in the Church?” or better yet “Where are the men?”.

Consider these numbers:

Nearly 80% of the population of the Church is either female or under age 18.
In the recent missionary surge from roughly 55,000 missionaries to nearly 90,000 missionaries the majority of that additional 40,000 missionaries are women.
In any given ward there is nearly a 70/30 ratio of women to men (active).


As I thought about these statistics I asked myself: Why are men not coming to church? Why are men not being active at church and often falling away from the church in such large numbers? As I considered this, it occurred to me that we have (as a Church) actively and subconsciously driven men away. Our actions, words and activities methodically chase men away from Church in droves.



How? Think about this:

How often have you heard in a talk or a lesson where the speaker or instructor told all the men present that they are spiritually inferior to women? We are always saying how men will never be as holy as women, or that the sisters are way more spiritually in tune than men. We even say that men are given the priesthood because women are vastly superior and don’t need it. If women ran the church it’d be way more efficient. Sister missionaries are way better than elders. The overwhelming message is “You will never measure up because you are a guy and are a lost cause”. Even when we talk about things like modesty and the law of chastity the overwhelming message is “men are perverts and they can’t control themselves so you sisters have to do it for them.” I don’t know about you guys, but I get sick of hearing this kind of talk.
From an early age we tell boys that if they want to feel the spirit in their lives then they need to be more like the girls. Sit still like the girls. Sing songs like the girls. We associate feelings of love, peace, calm, beauty, joy, etc…with the feelings of the spirit and don’t talk about the more masculine spiritual moments of power, intelligence, courage, competition, energy, and even the ability to strike down an enemy. We imply that these feelings are not good, not of the spirit and that for boys to feel them is bad. When reality is that they are very much of the spirit.
We value an invented conformity and greatly discourage individualism. We discourage debate and discussion and instead say “if you are following the spirit then you wouldn’t ask questions. Our church was founded by a young man with a question who sought an answer!
I don’t know about you brethren but I find most Church music to be tediously dull and uninspiring. Frankly I could live without a lot of it. I do, however, find my soul stirred by a great mens chorus of “Rise Up O Men Of God” or “High On A Mountain Top” or “Praise to The Man” and such hymns. Sadly we tend to avoid those kinds of hymns in favor of the less rousing and calming ones.


I’d also suggest that the quality and quantity of our meetings is a deterrent to many men. Most of our meetings are truly a waste of time.

Just this last week I heard some men lamenting how poor attendance was at a Stake meeting, and then in the same breath these same guys said how they had a hard time staying awake during the meeting, alluding that it wasn’t holding their interest. If the meeting was so dull that people were falling asleep, then how can you blame people for not going? Especially the youth. If I’m bored in a meeting, I can only imagine how the young men are feeling. I also hardly expect them to return as a result.

Look at it from a business marketing perspective. If people are not buying your product, do you blame the consumer or do you try to figure out a better way to sell it to them? You either change the product or change the message to sell it...right?

The product that we have been given (the gospel of Jesus Christ) is AMAZING! So why are our marketing tactics so dull? If our meetings are not attracting people…then the quality of our meetings should be questioned, not the finger of scorn and blame pointed at the men who didn’t come. Look at it this way: If John Bytheway was coming to speak, we know we’d fill the entire building. Why? Because people know they are not wasting their time in attending. Now some people would respond to that with a “well, not everyone can speak like John Bytheway…” and that is true. Few people can. BUT we can try. We can do our best to improve our teaching, our public speaking and our presentation abilities. If we identify good teachers and speakers…then use them! We have an aversion to using the same speaker too often in the church and I don’t understand why. If that person can give a great sermon…then use them!!! Don’t continue to offer a sub-standard message and then complain that nobody wants it.

Men have to attend a lot of meetings in Church (too many if you ask me) and when the meeting is dull, slow, boring, uninspiring or pointless too many of them will begin to opt out. I know that is not the right thing to do…but honestly, when your time is limited between full-time job, Church calling and family obligations…pretty soon you begin to weigh options and determine where the best use of your time is (we call this “opportunity cost” in the business world). Frankly I don’t feel like I get to spend enough time with my family, especially my young children. So if the choice is between another dull and pointless church meeting and reading to my 7-year-old. Sorry church leaders, but my 7-year-old trumps you. I think that is occurring with many of the adult men around us.

We are called to do what Christ would do if He were here. He was a master teacher. He was an inspired leader. He didn’t do anything without a purpose (including holding meetings simply because it is on the schedule). He cared for the souls of people and he inspired them to a better cause…one they would be willing to die for.

How can we do anything less? Our task is clear. We are teachers, leaders and inspirers. Ours is the task to get the gospel into the hearts of the people in such a way as their burning testimonies will light up the world and people will want that light in their lives.

We can’t do that if we are hiding from our potential both as a speaker and as a hearer.

Let’s stop driving men away and rather inspire them to come follow us and be warriors in the kingdom of our Father. Let’s find new ways to be inspiring. Let’s think of some ways we can light the fires of faith and kindle ACTION among our men. Let’s have purposes to all that we do (meetings and activities).

http://ldssofhandbook.blogspot.com/2014 ... e-men.html