Should I confess to the bishop?

[HomeStar182]

Hello everyone!

Thanks for helping me with something I'm struggling with.

8 months ago I had sex with a friend of mine. I have personally repented of it. I have taken it to the lord and have forsaken my actions. I will wait until marriage from now on.

My question is, is the repentance process incomplete until I confess to my bishop?

Thanks again.

[inho]

I think you should. It is great that you have repented and taken it to Lord. However, it has been 8 months and you are still thinking if you should confess it to the bishop. You maybe thinking that after a year or few years. It makes sense to confess now. After more time your sin might still bug you, but confessing very old things may feel like silly.

You say that have repented and forsaken. Then you want to do the right, and the practice of church is to confess to bishop. You will most likely receive some sort of discipline, but since you want to do the right thing, you will accept it. Afterwards you will feel better than you would feel if you hadn't confessed.

[Juliet]

Hello everyone!

Thanks for helping me with something I'm struggling with.

8 months ago I had sex with a friend of mine. I have personally repented of it. I have taken it to the lord and have forsaken my actions. I will wait until marriage from now on.

My question is, is the repentance process incomplete until I confess to my bishop?

Thanks again.

I would pray about it and let the Lord guide you to at least someone who can act as a spiritual counsellor so that you understand there are spiritual ramifications that need to be cleared up with the Lord. You may have already done that. If you are male, understand that your friend is going to be carrying the brunt of this, meaning, a soul tie is created and the energy flow goes from the female to the male. So understand that there still could be a spiritual imbalance going on here. You may think you cleared it up because you repented and not know that in the spirit realm and through the veil, you are actually stealing the other person's creative energy as a consequence of having sex. Again, you may be led to talk with your bishop, not to make you feel guilty or to punish you, but to use the atonement to sever any unhealthy spiritual ties that you may not even be aware need to be cleared. If you believe you have actually cleared it with the Lord, then you don't have to talk to the Bishop. But if you feel like you need help getting a spiritual connection with the Lord, then go to the Bishop. The Bishop is a spiritual helper not a master that doles out punishments. The Bishop will be a second witness anyway, so you could begin by asking him the question you asked here, and hopefully he will say the same thing that the Holy Spirit says to you.

[Arenera]

Hello everyone!

Thanks for helping me with something I'm struggling with.

8 months ago I had sex with a friend of mine. I have personally repented of it. I have taken it to the lord and have forsaken my actions. I will wait until marriage from now on.

My question is, is the repentance process incomplete until I confess to my bishop?

Thanks again.

Of course!

Sexual sin is a serious sin

Alma 39
5 Know ye not, my son, that these things are an abomination in the sight of the Lord; yea, most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent bblood or denying the Holy Ghost?

Mosiah 26 explains confessing in the church and receiving forgiveness

29 Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he cconfess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

30 Yea, and as often as my people repent will I forgive them their trespasses against me.

You need to confess to your bishop, if you don't, you haven't followed Mosiah 26:29.

Be clean again. You don't want to go to the temple with this kind of sin without repenting of it.

[Mark]

Hello everyone!

Thanks for helping me with something I'm struggling with.

8 months ago I had sex with a friend of mine. I have personally repented of it. I have taken it to the lord and have forsaken my actions. I will wait until marriage from now on.

My question is, is the repentance process incomplete until I confess to my bishop?

Thanks again.

I would pray about it and let the Lord guide you to at least someone who can act as a spiritual counsellor so that you understand there are spiritual ramifications that need to be cleared up with the Lord. You may have already done that. If you are male, understand that your friend is going to be carrying the brunt of this, meaning, a soul tie is created and the energy flow goes from the female to the male. So understand that there still could be a spiritual imbalance going on here. You may think you cleared it up because you repented and not know that in the spirit realm and through the veil, you are actually stealing the other person's creative energy as a consequence of having sex. Again, you may be led to talk with your bishop, not to make you feel guilty or to punish you, but to use the atonement to sever any unhealthy spiritual ties that you may not even be aware need to be cleared. If you believe you have actually cleared it with the Lord, then you don't have to talk to the Bishop. But if you feel like you need help getting a spiritual connection with the Lord, then go to the Bishop. The Bishop is a spiritual helper not a master that doles out punishments. The Bishop will be a second witness anyway, so you could begin by asking him the question you asked here, and hopefully he will say the same thing that the Holy Spirit says to you.

I would also recommend you also ask your Bishop about this process of repentance as well Sister. You obviously do not understand the role of a Bishop when it comes to serious sins like sexual immorality. He is a judge in Israel. It is not up to you to determine what his role might be in the repentance process when it comes to things like this.

[drtanner]

Hello everyone!

Thanks for helping me with something I'm struggling with.

8 months ago I had sex with a friend of mine. I have personally repented of it. I have taken it to the lord and have forsaken my actions. I will wait until marriage from now on.

My question is, is the repentance process incomplete until I confess to my bishop?

Thanks again.

What is keeping you from wanting to talk with your bishop? I have found that pondering and answering this question many times will solve the true issue and help you understand what you need to do.

I have also found this counsel from Elder Burton to be helpful in understanding the repentance process:

"My present assignment as a General Authority is to assist the First Presidency. I prepare information for them to use in considering applications to readmit transgressors into the Church and to restore priesthood and/or temple blessings.
Many times a bishop will write: 'I feel he has suffered enough!' But suffering is not repentance. Suffering comes from lack of complete repentance.
A stake president will write: 'I feel he has been punished enough!' But punishment is not repentance. Punishment follows disobedience and precedes repentance.
A husband will write: 'My wife has confessed everything!' But confession is not repentance. Confession is an admission of guilt that occurs as repentance begins.
A wife will write: 'My husband is filled with remorse!' But remorse is not repentance. Remorse and sorrow continue because a person has not yet fully repented.
But if suffering, punishment, confession, remorse, and sorrow are not repentance, what is repentance?"

It is "Shube"

"To answer this question, let us go back to the Old Testament. The Old Testament was written in Hebrew and the word used for this concept of repentance is 'shube:' Let me read a passage from Ezekiel 33:8–11 and insert the word 'shube' along with its English translation to help us understand what repentance is:

When I say unto the wicked, O wicked man, thou shalt surely die; if thou dost not speak to warn the wicked from his way, that wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand.

Nevertheless, if thou warn the wicked of his way to [shube, or] turn from it; if he do not [shube, or] turn from his way, he shall die in his iniquity; but thou hast delivered thy soul.

When a person despairs and says: 'There is nothing left for me!' 'All hope is gone!' 'I can’t be forgiven!' 'What purpose is left in life?' 'I might as well be dead!' God instructs the 'watchman on the tower' to

'Say unto them, As I live, saith the Lord God, I have no pleasure in the death of the wicked; but that the wicked [shube, or] turn from his way and live: [shube, shube!] turn ye, turn ye from your evil ways; for why will ye die, O house of Israel?' (Ezekiel 33:8–11)

Seek ye the Lord while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near;

Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him [shube, or] return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon [if he will only shube]. [Isaiah 55:6–7]

Throughout the Old Testament, a fundamental theme is forsaking or turning from evil and doing instead that which is noble and good. Not only must we change our ways; we must as well change our very thoughts which control our actions. Repentance is a turning back to God!"

It is "Metaneoeo"

"Let us now turn to the New Testament which was written in Greek. How did those Greek writers translate the word 'shube' into Greek and still retain its concept of repentance? They used the word 'metaneoeo,' which is a compound word of two parts. The first part, 'meta,' we use as a prefix in our English vocabulary. When we eat we convert food by a process of metabolism into fat, muscle, and connective tissue. When we see a crawling caterpillar stop, attach itself to a limb and spin a cocoon, the insect inside its silken case undergoes metamorphosis. It changes its form into a moth or a beautiful butterfly. The prefix 'meta,' then, refers to change.

The second part of the word 'metaneoeo' is subject to various spellings. The letter 'n,' for instance, is sometimes transliterated as 'pn,' as in the French word 'pneu,' meaning an airfilled tire. We also find 'pneu' in our word pneumatic, as, for instance, a pneumatic hammer or a pneumatic drill, which are air-driven tools. It is also found in our word pneumonia, which is an air sickness of the lungs. There are several spellings of this root and many meanings attached to this word which can mean air, mind, thought, thinking, or spirit, depending on how it is used.

In the context where 'meta' and 'neoeo' are used in the New Testament, the word 'metaneoeo' means a change of mind or thought or thinking so powerful and so strong that it changes our very way of life. I think 'metaneoeo' is an excellent translation of 'shube.' The meaning of both these words is to turn or change from evil to righteousness and God."

[Sirocco]

Here's a related question, if I join the church do I have to confess past things, like I've had sex with several people not recently but would I have to like tell him that?

[drtanner]

Here's a related question, if I join the church do I have to confess past things, like I've had sex with several people not recently but would I have to like tell him that?

Did you discuss this in the baptismal interview with the missionaries when they asked about the law of Chastity?

[Sirocco]

Here's a related question, if I join the church do I have to confess past things, like I've had sex with several people not recently but would I have to like tell him that?

Did you discuss this in the baptismal interview with the missionaries when they asked about the law of Chastity?

They only ever asked about homosexual sex.
I never had the gay sex lol

[Z2100]

Hello everyone!

Thanks for helping me with something I'm struggling with.

8 months ago I had sex with a friend of mine. I have personally repented of it. I have taken it to the lord and have forsaken my actions. I will wait until marriage from now on.

My question is, is the repentance process incomplete until I confess to my bishop?

Thanks again.

REPENT! Even though there are consequneces, you'll be spared in the Cleansing of America (which can happen any given day)!

[Serragon]

Yes

[Zowieink]

Yup! Gotta do it. Repentance process is more intense with those who hold the Mel. Priesthood vs those that do not. Age, experience, makes a difference also. A youth or an unmarried young adult, for example, might have a different path of repentance than a man with the Mel. Priesthood, made temple covenants, cheated on his wife, etc. Time since the event also plays a factor. Particulars about what and how many times makes a difference.

So, go do it!

[tribrac]

A friend of mine made a mistake. Then he doubled down by not confessing. Weeks turned to months, months to years. When it finally came out, the repentance process was hard, very hard.

Don't live with a lie, don't live with shame. Go talk to your bishop.

[freedomforall]

Here is one good way to know if sin has been forgiven:

When you think about the situation/occurrence do you feel anguish, shame, guilt or even trepidation or torment? If you still feel any of these then a visit to your bishop is needed.

Whereas, if you can think about the sin and have no pings of conscience, guilt or shame, etc, then you're likely to be fine. But why not make certain of cleanliness by seeing your bishop anyway? He is a judge and a mediator between God and man within the ward. Assuming being forgiven could be a serious mistake.

A bishop told me that when we confess all sin, all sin, that Lucifer cannot use them against us in the afterlife. Sins that are kept secret can be used against the participant by Satan; it is called being turned over to the buffetings of Satan.
https://www.lds.org/scriptures/search?l ... s+of+Satan

God says he does not remember our sins. This doesn't mean he forgets them entirely. It means that he will not hold them against those that repented in sincerity and with real intent of heart.
Even we remember our sins, even after confessing them, but have no feelings that fester in our heart once repented of. Otherwise, we feel intense guilt associated with the sin. This is when one must go to a bishop and enter a repentance process.

Having said this, we must continue to go forth living as righteous as we can, because if we go back to a sinful lifestyle and no repentance, our former sins do return.

Doctrine and Covenants 82:7,10
7 And now, verily I say unto you, I, the Lord, will not lay any sin to your charge; go your ways and sin no more; but unto that soul who sinneth shall the former sins return, saith the Lord your God.
10 I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise.

D&C 1:33 (32–33)
32 Nevertheless, he that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven;
33 And he that repents not, from him shall be taken even the light which he has received; for my Spirit shall not always strive with man, saith the Lord of Hosts.

58:43
43 By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins—behold, he will confess them and forsake them.

[Zathura]

Hello everyone!

Thanks for helping me with something I'm struggling with.

8 months ago I had sex with a friend of mine. I have personally repented of it. I have taken it to the lord and have forsaken my actions. I will wait until marriage from now on.

My question is, is the repentance process incomplete until I confess to my bishop?

Thanks again.

The answer is that your repentance process does not depend on your Bishop. You can repent, be forgiven and sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost all without ever talking to your Bishop. It is a mistake and a stumbling stone to think that you cannot completely repent and come unto Christ without first coming through another Mortal Man(Your Bishop).

SHOULD YOU talk to your Bishop? I say yes, but that's between you and God. If you find that you have not been sanctified and that your repentance is not complete, and you feel that you need help finding what you seek, your Bishop can help.

Mosiah 4:2-3

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=41905&p=698984#p698984

I invite you to read that scripture and my post that I linked above, and read the other links within that post as well. It is the key to repentance. A bishop only stands to help you do the things the scriptures tell you to do. If you are spiritually born of God and feel God's forgiveness, then you need no man to tell you that you've been forgiven. When you've truly repented and been sanctified , you will know. Seek for these things .If you haven't had them and seek for help, ask your Bishop to help you along the process. You do not need a Bishop to repent, but a Bishop can help you achieve what you are seeking when otherwise you may not accomplish it alone.

I personally have had a Bishop help me through things and it was wonderful, however, myself and many others get caught in to the trap of thinking their repentance process has been complete after "checking off" a few steps. Godly sorrow, confess to god and then to Bishop, Bishop tells you not to take sacrament for a couple months etc. and at the end you just assume you've been forgiven even though there has been no manifestation in your life other than your Bishop saying so that you've been forgive/cleansed/sanctified. Read the scriptures, seek what they contain. Seek the experiences the scriptures talk of over and over and over.

[kittycat51]

Years ago, I had to give a Relief Society lesson on Repentance/Forgiveness. Part of my study for it, I read President Kimball's Miracle of Forgiveness. It was powerful and hit me like a ton of bricks. I felt a weight of sorts. It sent me to my bishop to confess things of far less than what is described in this thread. Although the bishop does not have the authority to forgive, he helped guild me and gave me great words of wisdom of council. He also gave me a blessing. When I left his office, I felt a weight off of my shoulders and a renewed sense of urgency in doing what is right and how to proceed.

I have family members who have committed the same sin as mentioned in this thread, and some go not quite so far...but suffice it to say, all bishops involved have been loving and helpful in guiding back to the paths of righteousness, without judgement or finger pointing. All involved were asked to not participate in the taking the sacrament for a couple of weeks, and not going to the temple for baptisms for the dead for several months. (Longer for those who went all the way) There are frequent "check in's" with the bishop to track progress.

I promise you that the weight will continue on your shoulders and fester if you don't go visit with your bishop. The path to FULL repentance is not always easy but worth it.

Sister Linda S Reeves in October 2016 General Conference said "When we have sinned, Satan often tries to convince us that the unselfish thing to do is to protect others from the devastation of the knowledge of our sins, including avoiding confessing to our bishop, who can bless our lives through his priesthood keys as a common judge in Israel. The truth, however, is that the unselfish and Christlike thing to do is to confess and repent. This is Heavenly Father’s great plan of redemption."

I encourage you to read her whole talk The Great Plan of Redemption https://www.lds.org/general-conference/ ... n?lang=eng

Good luck. Remember you are a child of God and HE LOVES YOU. :ymhug:

[Gage]

My guess is wait til the day before your wedding day and then repent and confess to your Bishop because you will probably have sex again before your wedding. I think this is how most of the females do in my ward, and probably some guys to. Some dont ever confess or repent, some lie and say they are virgins right on through the doors of the Temple and dont think a second thought of it.

[freedomforall]

Something about confession though..........

Mean it. The Lord doesn't accept wooden nickles.
Be humble; consider oneself as lower than the dust of the earth
Have a broken heart and contrite spirit
Implore, beseech, solicit, beg, appeal, entreat, petition and/or supplicate

[Finrock]

When we are truly broken hearted and contrite we will not feel the need to pretend to be without great flaws or sins before others. If you feel ashamed, afraid, guilty, or if you are worried about what others think of you then you haven't fully repented. Life is not about appearing before "men" to be good, but it is about recognizing our fallen and helpless nature and relying on the grace and mercy of Jesus Christ. If you are afraid of a man, then you don't yet know Jesus. You objective is seeking to know Jesus. That should be your goal or your priority. Focus on getting to know Jesus. If this requires you to speak to your bishop to help bring you down in humility, do it. But, don't assume that speaking with your bishop is the same thing as getting to know Jesus and understanding His love and mercy towards you. You won't be disappointed by your efforts to get to know Jesus.

You must be willing to submit to any consequence that is a result of your decisions. You won't be able to face the consequences of your decisions well if you don't have faith in Jesus Christ or if you aren't relying on His mercy and His grace.

So, are you not speaking to your bishop because you are afraid? If so, then your repentance is incomplete. Do you know Jesus Christ? Did He sanctify you? You will know if He did. If not, then your repentance is incomplete. Are you trying to hide your sins from others so that you can appear to be a "good, worthy" person? If so, then your repentance is incomplete. Until you've had an experience that involves Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost, your repentance is incomplete.

-Finrock

[Gage]

You should tell your Bishop because that is what we are told to do and part of the repenting process.

[inho]

When we are truly broken hearted and contrite we will not feel the need to pretend to be without great flaws or sins before others.

I think this is spot on.

[LukeAir2008]

Here's a related question, if I join the church do I have to confess past things, like I've had sex with several people not recently but would I have to like tell him that?

No you don't need to discuss this with anyone. The missionaries will have taught you the requirement to live the law of chastity or purity after baptism. If you are sincere and are truly committed to serving the Lord all of your sins will be remitted at baptism and you will be totally clean.

Certain sins or behaviours like homosexual sex are more likely to resurface and cause future problems and this is why the missionaries ask specifically if you have engaged in homosexual activities.

[freedomforall]

The answer is that your repentance process does not depend on your Bishop.

Obviously, this statement is not supported by scripture. Read a post above and see the passage declaring that one must confess their sins before clergy.

Mosiah 26:29
29 Therefore I say unto you, Go; and whosoever transgresseth against me, him shall ye judge according to the sins which he has committed; and if he confess his sins before thee and me, and repenteth in the sincerity of his heart, him shall ye forgive, and I will forgive him also.

This doesn't imply that, say for example, if one receives too much money back as change after a purchase and one keeps the money, they must run right to the bishop. It does imply that for immoral sin a bishop is required for complete forgiveness. However, the verse does say "the sins which he has committed" so even this type of sin may need to be confessed unto a bishop.

God forgives after the bishop does. It's in the book!

[LukeAir2008]

Hello everyone!

Thanks for helping me with something I'm struggling with.

8 months ago I had sex with a friend of mine. I have personally repented of it. I have taken it to the lord and have forsaken my actions. I will wait until marriage from now on.

My question is, is the repentance process incomplete until I confess to my bishop?

Thanks again.

Only the Lord can forgive sins but Priesthood authorities judge our Church membership and activity and so the Lord requires that we confess sexual sin or other serious sins to a Priesthood officer such as a Bishop or Stake President.

If we don't confess and clean out the barrel we will go through the rest of our lives living a lie and we will need to keep lying in situations like temple recommend interviews. This could have a devastating effect on any attempts to be truly worthy.

[Gage]

Not confessing to the Bishop is the reason for this scripture, not confessing and lying to get that temple recommend.

First among those among you, saith the Lord, who have professed to know my name and have not known me, and have blasphemed against me in the midst of my house, saith the Lord. (D&C 112)