Priorities

[harakim]

I rarely start posts, but I have been thinking a lot about the topic of priorities this last two weeks.

Earlier this year, I was asked to just do the basics: prayer, scriptures, and my calling. I was told sometimes we complicate things but these are the only things we really need to do.
A week later, and by the same person, I was told my home teaching was the stake goal and we should try and make this our priority.
In April or so, I was told the regional goals were missionary work, temple attendance and two others I forgot. And we should focus on just these things.
I didn't attend my own ward for a few weeks and when I came back, they were telling me it was so important to go to the temple frequently and told service was the top priority for the church.
Somewhere in there we were told we must be doing our genealogy.

I already have a lot to do at home just to raise my family. I have a job where I am the thin line between a huge business and no business. And there is another thing I don't want to talk about concerning the need to get in better health. I have three home teaching families, no companion and my calling.

What are my real priorities? I do not feel like telling people to join the church is a priority. I have always felt that being a good example is better than continued evangelism. I honestly don't feel like temple attendance and genealogy are my top priorities at this time. They live somewhere in the 10 years from now place where I have more time and more life experience to appreciate the temple. There is no way I can accomplish even just the priorities that have at one time been called "only", "top" or "must do" priorities. And I feel it is a moving target.

So my questions are:
1) How many people feel like this?
2) How do you deal with it?
3) Why does the church do this?

[h_p]

1. Love God with all your heart, might, mind, and strength
2. Love your neighbor as yourself.

Does that simplify anything?

[Silver]

We all feel like you do now sometimes. Some may feel like you all the time.

harakim, you staying healthy and on top of your career are critical for you and your family. You've got to provide for them. That's not selfish; it's wise. Then you have opportunities for service. The temple, for example, is a great place to perform service and the benefits to you are tremendous. However, you shouldn't feel you must attend every (fill in the blank). It has to make sense based on your individual circumstances. Remember though, that sometimes going to the temple is exactly the right thing to do when you are overwhelmed. Go and catch a glimpse of eternity. The view is great and the renewed perspective inspiring.

I would like to make a strong pitch for reading the Book of Mormon every day. I've been doing that since 1985 or '86 when President Benson asked us to. It took me a few months to cement the habit, but now I simply do not go to bed without reading. It's the best and the blessings too many to enumerate.

[brlenox]

I rarely start posts, but I have been thinking a lot about the topic of priorities this last two weeks.

Earlier this year, I was asked to just do the basics: prayer, scriptures, and my calling. I was told sometimes we complicate things but these are the only things we really need to do.
A week later, and by the same person, I was told my home teaching was the stake goal and we should try and make this our priority.
In April or so, I was told the regional goals were missionary work, temple attendance and two others I forgot. And we should focus on just these things.
I didn't attend my own ward for a few weeks and when I came back, they were telling me it was so important to go to the temple frequently and told service was the top priority for the church.
Somewhere in there we were told we must be doing our genealogy.

I already have a lot to do at home just to raise my family. I have a job where I am the thin line between a huge business and no business. And there is another thing I don't want to talk about concerning the need to get in better health. I have three home teaching families, no companion and my calling.

What are my real priorities? I do not feel like telling people to join the church is a priority. I have always felt that being a good example is better than continued evangelism. I honestly don't feel like temple attendance and genealogy are my top priorities at this time. They live somewhere in the 10 years from now place where I have more time and more life experience to appreciate the temple. There is no way I can accomplish even just the priorities that have at one time been called "only", "top" or "must do" priorities. And I feel it is a moving target.

So my questions are:
1) How many people feel like this?
2) How do you deal with it?
3) Why does the church do this?

I have a rule that I always use. I never let my calling interfere with my calling. When I had children at home I was always a father first and I have had some reasonable callings. None superseded my role as a father and everything else worked as best I could and I never felt in the least guilty.

[oneClimbs]

1) How many people feel like this?
2) How do you deal with it?
3) Why does the church do this?

1) I've felt overwhelmed at times, but that's just life. Sometimes it's good, other times it's crazy.
2) I define my limits and stay within them unless a situation arises where I can exceed them. I believe in sacrifice but not stupidity. It isn't sacrifice to neglect your first responsibilities: God, family and work.
3) There is no "the church" there are people and the vast majority are regular folks like you and me just trying to do their best and serve. On the whole, they are good people, each one with a calling and on a mission. We don't coordinate very well and often competing visions converge into what seems like a mess. But maybe that is how it is supposed to be. Maybe there are so many messages because each one is meant to resonate with someone else. At the end of the day, I listen to everything and I act on what I feel is right. I'm not looking to be a rebel or contrary to everything with a chip on my shoulder or something to prove. I want to serve the Lord and support his servants, but I don't try and do every little thing someone says. I keep a journal on me at all times. I've done it for about 15 years and have filled 8 books. In them I write every prompting, every answer to prayer, teaching that is sacred, and revelation. Helps me out a ton and anyone can do it.

[Yahtzee]

THIS is why my husband and I went inactive a number of years ago. It all just felt like too much. Too many good choices. I felt like a failure for not being able to do it all, so I didn't do anything. It took nearly getting divorced to make us realize we needed the gospel in our lives and we weren't going to let "church" get in the way, if that makes sense.
I used to lament to my mom how I wished I could do more family history work. She said God has given us a time and a season for all things and to not run faster than we have strength. Some day when my babies are grown I will have so much time for family history. When I can't attend the temple (nursing baby makes it difficult), I index with my teenager. I over did things when I was an auxiliary president and my family suffered, I promised to stop and guess what-things still ran well. We're all just volunteers. Repeat that when you or others aren't at your best. We're all just volunteers.
The biggest thing to help me was when I realized how much time Jesus took for himself. He often went alone to pray, to reconnect to the Father, and to prepare himself. We MUST first take the time to pray, study the scriptures, and care for our physical bodies or we cannot serve others. Once I realized that the Savior wasn't constantly giving, I allowed myself to stop worrying. And things stl get done. Sometimes I miss my meetings or my kids have to tag along and yet, the church is still true.
So why does the church do this? I'm still working that out. Sometimes our leaders feel pressure for their flock. They genuinely love us and are scared for us. Too many of us think all is well in Zion and neglect things. Maybe it's like parents who sign their kids up for too many activities hoping they'll get into Harvard.
I've told my leaders when I've been overwhelmed or had personal challenges and they were very grateful-how we're they supposed to know the extent of my illnesses? One said he wished more members would be honest about their time commitments or health limitations. So maybe there's some pride in there as well on our parts if we don't want to admit weakness or expect bishops to know everything about us before extending calls.

[seekingtruth]

When you figure it out let me know.
I have a total of 4 callings, 2 of which I'm supposed to have a partner, but I'm solo. I'm trying to hold down 2 jobs, I have a family to take care of, and my health needs attention as well as I'm overweight, have anxiety and depression. To say I'm a little stressed is an understatement :/

[Michelle]

We have enough time to do all we need to do, but not all we could do.

I think we put a lot if things on our need-to-do-list that are optional or the world's priorities, not our Heavenly Father's, then feel overwhelmed.

I think when we are given callings it often becomes our "gospel favorite" and it kind of should be. Then we are able to bear strong witness and inspire others, but that doesn't mean everybody who hears it places it in the same place on their priority list, nor should they.

I also noticed Jesus took time to rest and draw near to Heavenly Father, but he also sacrificed and had compassion on the multitude that followed him. Not so much "me time" as "His time."

I think it is easy to classify all our recreation as wholesome, even when it is not. Wholesome recreation renews us: many forms of physical activity, study of the gospel, pondering upon the things of eternity, even serving others, visiting with others, can enliven our Spirits. Other forms of popular recreation drain our spirits and bodies (ok, I'm ready to get blasted for offending here) watching most tv programs and reading most popular books, excessive physical activity like the kind your "super healthy" fb friends brag about, but they always seems to be tearing something, usually near the knee, and then needing surgery for (was that vaguely specific enough ? Lol) or even learning lots of stuff on YouTube, and then never actually using it or even attempting to use it in real life: trivia (aka: trivial facts.)

Going to emphasize something I just mentioned above: visiting with others. It can be easy to classify this as time wasted or selfishness because we enjoy it, but with the right attitude, it may just move up your priority list. As far as I know every faithful member of the church, regardless of marital status, with or without children, old or young, newly baptized or long time member, sometimes in spite of illness and in modified ways if necessary, is asked to do the same thing: visit each other, become friends, love each other. It could be as a home teacher, visiting teacher, missionary, bishop, etc. we are all asked to spend time with each other and build relationships. I'm also going to go out on a limb and suggest family gets first priority, because the prophets say so. ;)

This is what I see the Savior do in the scriptures. He often shares meals with others, strikes up conversations on the roadside, at the well, in the synagogue, on the seashore. Wherever, whenever. I see this in Pres. Monson. His legacy is "ministering to the one." No cookies or handout required, just love. (Unless the Spirit says cookies, then cookies too. Lol)

Easiest answer is ask the Lord each time you here something should be a priority at church. Let him tell you where it falls in your list, if at all. If you still need more guidance, your patriarchal blessing should have a good overview of your priorities for this life and perhaps the seasons for them.

[Silver]

When you figure it out let me know.
I have a total of 4 callings, 2 of which I'm supposed to have a partner, but I'm solo. I'm trying to hold down 2 jobs, I have a family to take care of, and my health needs attention as well as I'm overweight, have anxiety and depression. To say I'm a little stressed is an understatement :/

Does your bishop also have poor health? Is he overweight and burdened with anxiety and depression? If not, have you considered consulting with him about your condition and seeing if he couldn't release you from, say, half of those callings.

[seekingtruth]

When you figure it out let me know.
I have a total of 4 callings, 2 of which I'm supposed to have a partner, but I'm solo. I'm trying to hold down 2 jobs, I have a family to take care of, and my health needs attention as well as I'm overweight, have anxiety and depression. To say I'm a little stressed is an understatement :/

Does your bishop also have poor health? Is he overweight and burdened with anxiety and depression? If not, have you considered consulting with him about your condition and seeing if he couldn't release you from, say, half of those callings.

As far as I can tell he's in good health. I have not spoke to him about this but I have spoken to one of his councilors at the time I was given the 4th calling (was called just recently) that I needed to be released from one of my other callings and he assured me I was going to be. Still waiting.

[djinwa]

First, give up the idea that leaders are inspired. As we've read on this site, sometimes they speak for God, and sometimes as a man. So you don't have to follow them, because you never know when they're right. Feel free to say no to callings. Why teach someone else's kids? I thought parents were responsible for their children?

Leaders like to have programs. The next magic program will fix everything.

Once as a gung-ho elders quorum president I wrote out all the things we were supposed to be doing and handed them out to the elders, thinking it would inspire them. As I recall it was a couple pages typed. Obviously had the opposite effect.

The only way to survive in the church is to ignore most of what you hear.

I try to see things as I would set them up if I was a god, which is supposedly what we're shooting for.

I would reduce meetings and callings and actually put families first. I wouldn't have temples or missions. People could come together and simply help each other with their needs and cut out all the busy work like home teaching. Fewer meetings and lessons at church and more mingle time.

Not real complicated, but again, everybody wants points for their latest program.

[brianj]

I rarely start posts, but I have been thinking a lot about the topic of priorities this last two weeks.

Earlier this year, I was asked to just do the basics: prayer, scriptures, and my calling. I was told sometimes we complicate things but these are the only things we really need to do.
A week later, and by the same person, I was told my home teaching was the stake goal and we should try and make this our priority.
In April or so, I was told the regional goals were missionary work, temple attendance and two others I forgot. And we should focus on just these things.
I didn't attend my own ward for a few weeks and when I came back, they were telling me it was so important to go to the temple frequently and told service was the top priority for the church.
Somewhere in there we were told we must be doing our genealogy.

I already have a lot to do at home just to raise my family. I have a job where I am the thin line between a huge business and no business. And there is another thing I don't want to talk about concerning the need to get in better health. I have three home teaching families, no companion and my calling.

What are my real priorities? I do not feel like telling people to join the church is a priority. I have always felt that being a good example is better than continued evangelism. I honestly don't feel like temple attendance and genealogy are my top priorities at this time. They live somewhere in the 10 years from now place where I have more time and more life experience to appreciate the temple. There is no way I can accomplish even just the priorities that have at one time been called "only", "top" or "must do" priorities. And I feel it is a moving target.

So my questions are:
1) How many people feel like this?
2) How do you deal with it?
3) Why does the church do this?

Reading scriptures and praying doesn't take a lot of time. On my mission I used a church member's bathtroom and saw a TV tray with scriptures on it in front of the toilet. I know many people who listen to the scriptures being read while driving to or from work. I use this time listening to Ensign articles or general conference talks.
Home teaching shouldn't take a lot of time.
Do you watch TV? I often pull up FamilySearch on a notebook computer while watching TV. It doesn't require additional time.
A lot of people feel overwhelmed, but we don't need to.

And missionary work shouldn't take a lot of time. Many people I have known claim they are missionaries through their examples, but they hide much of their example and they avoid gospel related conversations. One of my missionary companions asked, "If you lived below a dam and knew it had burst, would you set an example by jumping in your car or would you warn your neighbors as you do so?" Speaking for myself, if I was in that hypothetical situation and I saw neighbors speeding away, I would wonder how soon the feds were coming.

I was once in a general conference with an area seventy who expressed his regret over missed opportunities at work. When he would talk with coworkers about what they did over the weekend he would discuss what he did on Saturday and leave it at that. This is what I refer to by hiding our examples. He regretted not mentioning a good experience at church. Doing so would have inspired questions in some coworkers, and discussing those questions would have probably brought at least one person to the church. Missionary work should be effortless and it doesn't take much effort to say something like: "On Saturday I (fill in the blank) and I had a great experience at church on Sunday."

Yes, we complicate things. We can make simple things extremely complex. We can make easy things hard. We look forward to visiting friends but do everything we can to procrastinate home or visiting teaching instead of becoming friends with the people we visit so we look forward to seeing them. We act like we have to get everything in order before reading scriptures when supervising kids doing homework (which also gives a great example).

[butterfly]

All the work at church is assigned so that those who haven't learned to live by the Spirit can at least practice what it would be like if they were living by the Spirit.

In the BOM and in the early days of the church, they ran the meetings as the spirit directed, including prayers, songs, discourses,etc.

9 And their meetings were conducted by the church after the manner of the workings of the Spirit, and by the power of the Holy Ghost; for as the power of the Holy Ghost led them whether to preach, or to exhort, or to pray, or to supplicate, or to sing,even so it was done.

2 But notwithstanding those things which are written, it always has been given to the elders of my church from the beginning, and ever shall be, to conduct all meetings as they are directed and guided by the Holy Spirit.

So the goal is not a lifetime of overwhelming callings and neglecting your family now while you try to earn the gift to be with them later in eternity.

The goal is to learn to live by the spirit. That way, every time you get asked to do something, you can say with confidence yes or no. No more guilt, no more misaligned priorities.

As long as you keep saying yes to callings/assignments, you will keep getting asked. The callings/assignments do not save you nor do they exalt you.

Learn to live by the spirit. The spirit will lead you to God. And following the Spirit looks like what h_p said: love God, love your fellow man. The callings are just opportunities for practice. They are not required, so don't neglect your relationship with God and your family because you're thinking you have to fulfill all these assignments in order to be righteous.

[Gage]

I dont do all I need to do, who does, and I dont accept every calling. The Bishop is just a man, he doesnt know what all goes on in my life. If I accept a calling and then another, the man just assumes I must have the time. I decline when things start to get out of balance. I see people taking many callings because they are either scared to say no or they want to keep up appearances. rarely do members take callings to try and grow spiritually, they take them out of obligation or to keep up appearances. Since I could care less what anyone thinks of me and not scared to say no, I only accept what I feel I can handle. I try to use my time wisely and keep a family/church balance and please the Lord but I probably fail for the most part. But I keep trying. The reason why many members dont read their scriptures, is because nobody can see them reading them. That and the fact they dont believe the gospel. They only do things that people notice and see them doing to keep up appearances and look good. This is why over half your ward agrees and supports homosexuality, or members become inactive over past racial issues or polygamy, they know nothing about the gospel and scriptures, they were there for the social scene or out of obligation to their spouse- who is there to keep up appearances.

[True]

From experience, I have come up with a magic formula (for me) of living after the manner of happiness. If I follow his formula then I feel so good that the spirit is able to whisper any additional things the Lord wants me to do. Here are four things:
The mornings are the Lord's and He gets my first. 1)Read scriptures. 2) Say prayers. I often combine saying prayers with my third action which is 3)exercise. The last one is the hardest but very important with great blessings (just ask Daniel) and that is 4) eating right.
When you do those four things then you can see clearly to set the priorities that God wants for you. Just ry it and see if it works.

[seekingtruth]

From experience, I have come up with a magic formula (for me) of living after the manner of happiness. If I follow his formula then I feel so good that the spirit is able to whisper any additional things the Lord wants me to do. Here are four things:
The mornings are the Lord's and He gets my first. 1)Read scriptures. 2) Say prayers. I often combine saying prayers with my third action which is 3)exercise. The last one is the hardest but very important with great blessings (just ask Daniel) and that is 4) eating right.
When you do those four things then you can see clearly to set the priorities that God wants for you. Just ry it and see if it works.

Definitely good points to consider!

[harakim]

From experience, I have come up with a magic formula (for me) of living after the manner of happiness. If I follow his formula then I feel so good that the spirit is able to whisper any additional things the Lord wants me to do. Here are four things:
The mornings are the Lord's and He gets my first. 1)Read scriptures. 2) Say prayers. I often combine saying prayers with my third action which is 3)exercise. The last one is the hardest but very important with great blessings (just ask Daniel) and that is 4) eating right.
When you do those four things then you can see clearly to set the priorities that God wants for you. Just ry it and see if it works.

I will give this a try.

....
So my questions are:
1) How many people feel like this?
2) How do you deal with it?
3) Why does the church do this?

Do you watch TV?

I do not own a TV or subscribe to any streaming service. I have probably watched less than 5 hours of TV (via any device) in the last 5 years.

[Rose Garden]

I recall a time in my life when I was super busy and not getting everything done and the Spirit kept whispering to me, slow down, slow down. I was confused. I wasn't getting things done while rushing around. How could I possibly get them done by slowing down?

Of course, as I'm sure you guessed, I slowed down and things got better. Some things fell out of my life that weren't as necessary as I thought. Some things didn't get done and it was okay, we survived anyway. In many things, I discovered how to get them done in more efficient ways. But the most important thing that happened is I discovered I was doing things more at my kids' pace which meant I'd do things together with them, interact with them, laugh and enjoy them.

It was totally worth it.

[SAM]

Needed to read all this advice today. Thank you all for sharing all your wisdom! Great question, Harakim!

[diligently seeking]

When you figure it out let me know.
I have a total of 4 callings, 2 of which I'm supposed to have a partner, but I'm solo. I'm trying to hold down 2 jobs, I have a family to take care of, and my health needs attention as well as I'm overweight, have anxiety and depression. To say I'm a little stressed is an understatement :/

Prioritize and then discipline.

Make promises sparingly keep them Faithfully.

There is great stability in the Council of not running faster than we have strength but doing all tthings in wisdom and order and being persistent whereby eventually the prize will manifest.


As you see the fruits of disciplining accordingly( through the grace and goodness of Jesus) to the most important priorities in your life-- your /our capacity to do more, grows.

Seekingtruth, you got this! we are all in this together there has been some great great Council in this thread.