Why I stopped being a feminist

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h_p
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Why I stopped being a feminist

Post by h_p »

I wish I could post this to my Facebook feed, but I know what will happen: it would alienate me from a third to half of my ward, and my daughter would probably never speak to me again. It's probably too long for the ADD generation, but still well worth the 17 minutes of your time if feminism is anywhere on your radar.

Fiannan
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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h_p wrote: May 29th, 2017, 11:06 am I wish I could post this to my Facebook feed, but I know what will happen: it would alienate me from a third to half of my ward, and my daughter would probably never speak to me again. It's probably too long for the ADD generation, but still well worth the 17 minutes of your time if feminism is anywhere on your radar.
That is the reason your ward needs to hear it. We know half the active LDS population will fall before the 2nd Coming so maybe you need to help with the sifting. :)

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mes5464
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I posted it on my Facebook.

Sunain
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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h_p wrote: May 29th, 2017, 11:06 am I wish I could post this to my Facebook feed, but I know what will happen: it would alienate me from a third to half of my ward, and my daughter would probably never speak to me again. It's probably too long for the ADD generation, but still well worth the 17 minutes of your time if feminism is anywhere on your radar
LDS church culture has really changed. People are way too worldly, to quick to judge and gossip way too much. There is nothing in this video that should offend anyone or alienate them. Listening skills seem to be the common issue. No one wants to listen to an opinion opposite to their own.
Fiannan wrote: May 29th, 2017, 1:02 pm That is the reason your ward needs to hear it. We know half the active LDS population will fall before the 2nd Coming so maybe you need to help with the sifting. :)
I think were already well into the sifting process. The exmormon numbers keep growing.

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Rose Garden
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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Quotes from the video:
If you start to humanize your enemy, you in turn, may be dehumanized by your community.
It wasn't learning about men's issues that made me part with feminism. It was actually learning about feminism that made me leave feminism.
. . . how could I be part of a movement that was not willing to listen, that didn't want me to listen, and doesn't want others to listen?
We have to stop expecting to be offended and instead we have to start truly, openly and sincerely listening. That will lead to a greater understanding of ourselves and others, having compassion for one another, working together toward solutions because we are all in this together. And once we do that we can finally heal on the inside out but it has to start with listening.
This video is important not only because it helps you understand the problem of male/female dilemma but because it is an excellent discussion about prejudice in general. Anytime we generalize a population, whether it's men or women, blacks or whites, Mormons or Christians, etc., we are using the dehumanizing methods she discovered in herself as she made this documentary. You cannot ever find peace and love using those tools. The only way we will find love and peace in our lives is through looking at every single person as an individual who is deserving and in need of love, respect, concern, and so forth.

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h_p
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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Meili wrote: May 29th, 2017, 3:46 pm This video is important not only because it helps you understand the problem of male/female dilemma but because it is an excellent discussion about prejudice in general. Anytime we generalize a population, whether it's men or women, blacks or whites, Mormons or Christians, etc., we are using the dehumanizing methods she discovered in herself as she made this documentary.
This is so true, Meili. I'm seeing this MGTOW ("men going their own way") movement seeming to gain traction, too, apparently in reaction to the 3rd-wave feminists. Both are wrong, and both are destroying families and human relations in general.

I'm trying to root these prejudices out of myself, too, but first I need to see them. It's not always obvious. I've got a lot of respect for Cassie Jaye for her willingness to explore her own feelings and admit she's been wrong. That's not easy to do.

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h_p
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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Sunain wrote: May 29th, 2017, 2:56 pm Listening skills seem to be the common issue. No one wants to listen to an opinion opposite to their own.
Exactly! Something in her video that stood out to me was how she found herself reacting not to what the men were saying, but to what she assumed they were thinking. I guess it's easier to find something to argue about that way.

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Rose Garden
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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h_p wrote: May 29th, 2017, 5:22 pm
Meili wrote: May 29th, 2017, 3:46 pm This video is important not only because it helps you understand the problem of male/female dilemma but because it is an excellent discussion about prejudice in general. Anytime we generalize a population, whether it's men or women, blacks or whites, Mormons or Christians, etc., we are using the dehumanizing methods she discovered in herself as she made this documentary.
This is so true, Meili. I'm seeing this MGTOW ("men going their own way") movement seeming to gain traction, too, apparently in reaction to the 3rd-wave feminists. Both are wrong, and both are destroying families and human relations in general.

I'm trying to root these prejudices out of myself, too, but first I need to see them. It's not always obvious. I've got a lot of respect for Cassie Jaye for her willingness to explore her own feelings and admit she's been wrong. That's not easy to do.
Yeah, it's tough when it seems like everyone around you is telling you the same thing, tough to see the truth through all that. I've been seeking to root out my feminist prejudices as well as every other prejudice I have (there are way too many) and it's been really difficult. I've settled on doing everything I can to treat everyone with respect regardless of how they have or are treating me. When I focus on that, it makes it easier to get past the prejudices.

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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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h_p wrote: May 29th, 2017, 5:22 pm I'm seeing this MGTOW ("men going their own way") movement seeming to gain traction, too, apparently in reaction to the 3rd-wave feminists. Both are wrong, and both are destroying families and human relations in general.
I see a great deal of truth in MGTOW. Men will be happier on their own than with a domineering woman who looks at him as nothing more than a resource. And so many women are looking at men that way, and treating them as such, that MGTOW is a sensible option.

You have no idea how many men I know whose wives decided that alimony, child support, and even more stuff from guys who show interest is a better deal than what they have, divorce the man, get custody of the children (of course), refuse to honor court ordered visitation, and the court takes no action. But if the victimized father misses one child support or alimony payment, even if it is because he is genuinely unable to afford the payments, he is frequently jailed for contempt.

I am going through a divorce right now. I have not seen my son since October. My phone number was blocked so I can't call my son or even leave a voicemail. There's a court order prohibiting her from moving the boy without my written approval or approval from the court. She has neither, moved anyway, and no judge in the nation has any care at all. The court order also stipulates that financial records be shared immediately upon request. I was not able to file 2016 taxes because she refused to provide requested information (W2 forms), and all the courts will do is incessantly tell her she has to. She moved almost 1,000 miles away, someplace I can't afford to follow. At this point the only way I could see my son is if I bear the entire expense of getting there (airfare, parking here, rental car there, food, hotels) AND she decides to let me see him. That last part isn't going to happen.

I really want a happy, loving marriage and family. That involves a woman who will put the Lord first and me second. People tell me that such women are easy to find, but the men I hear from who are single and dating are quick to tell me that they can't find any such thing. Instead I'll find women who feel their seven cats are a higher priority than their future husband.

Put another way: TV is a good thing. The church uses TV for commercials, general conference, devotionals, and so forth. But an increasing number of church members are disconnecting TV service because of how much broadcasting has been corrupted. Marriage is also a good thing, but it's been so corrupted that the only sensible thing to do is cut the cord.

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Rose Garden
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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brianj wrote: May 29th, 2017, 8:18 pm
h_p wrote: May 29th, 2017, 5:22 pm I'm seeing this MGTOW ("men going their own way") movement seeming to gain traction, too, apparently in reaction to the 3rd-wave feminists. Both are wrong, and both are destroying families and human relations in general.
I see a great deal of truth in MGTOW. Men will be happier on their own than with a domineering woman who looks at him as nothing more than a resource. And so many women are looking at men that way, and treating them as such, that MGTOW is a sensible option.

You have no idea how many men I know whose wives decided that alimony, child support, and even more stuff from guys who show interest is a better deal than what they have, divorce the man, get custody of the children (of course), refuse to honor court ordered visitation, and the court takes no action. But if the victimized father misses one child support or alimony payment, even if it is because he is genuinely unable to afford the payments, he is frequently jailed for contempt.

I am going through a divorce right now. I have not seen my son since October. My phone number was blocked so I can't call my son or even leave a voicemail. There's a court order prohibiting her from moving the boy without my written approval or approval from the court. She has neither, moved anyway, and no judge in the nation has any care at all. The court order also stipulates that financial records be shared immediately upon request. I was not able to file 2016 taxes because she refused to provide requested information (W2 forms), and all the courts will do is incessantly tell her she has to. She moved almost 1,000 miles away, someplace I can't afford to follow. At this point the only way I could see my son is if I bear the entire expense of getting there (airfare, parking here, rental car there, food, hotels) AND she decides to let me see him. That last part isn't going to happen.

I really want a happy, loving marriage and family. That involves a woman who will put the Lord first and me second. People tell me that such women are easy to find, but the men I hear from who are single and dating are quick to tell me that they can't find any such thing. Instead I'll find women who feel their seven cats are a higher priority than their future husband.

Put another way: TV is a good thing. The church uses TV for commercials, general conference, devotionals, and so forth. But an increasing number of church members are disconnecting TV service because of how much broadcasting has been corrupted. Marriage is also a good thing, but it's been so corrupted that the only sensible thing to do is cut the cord.
Do you know of any men jailed for contempt? I'm asking because my lawyer said that, at least here in Utah, that never actually happens. Legally, it's in the law and could happen, but he said judges just won't make that ruling. It doesn't really make sense to jail a man who can't pay child support. What better way to make sure he loses his job and won't be able to pay in the future? Not that something not making sense means courts won't do it . . .

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inho
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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I must start with confessing that I haven't watched the video yet.

Meili wrote: May 29th, 2017, 3:46 pm This video is important not only because it helps you understand the problem of male/female dilemma but because it is an excellent discussion about prejudice in general. Anytime we generalize a population, whether it's men or women, blacks or whites, Mormons or Christians, etc., we are using the dehumanizing methods she discovered in herself as she made this documentary. You cannot ever find peace and love using those tools. The only way we will find love and peace in our lives is through looking at every single person as an individual who is deserving and in need of love, respect, concern, and so forth.
I am a bit worried that this is exactly what we are doing with feminists. We generalize them to stereotypes and then dehumanize them. Just like many see all Mormons as they see Warren Jeffs. Yet, not all feminists are bad. If we look at the definition Wikipedia gives, it doesn't sound so bad:
Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social rights for women.
The problem is that for different people feminism means different things. I do not agree with all feminists in all things, yet I think that there still is room for feminism in the world.

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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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brianj wrote: May 29th, 2017, 8:18 pm
h_p wrote: May 29th, 2017, 5:22 pm I'm seeing this MGTOW ("men going their own way") movement seeming to gain traction, too, apparently in reaction to the 3rd-wave feminists. Both are wrong, and both are destroying families and human relations in general.
I see a great deal of truth in MGTOW. Men will be happier on their own than with a domineering woman who looks at him as nothing more than a resource. And so many women are looking at men that way, and treating them as such, that MGTOW is a sensible option.
It is a bottomless pit with no solution. This is the only area where my advice is caution or even contrary to LDS church - marriage no longer has any benefit for the man or the woman. The chances of such a union being beneficial in today's environment is basically zero.... And just about all of us (the men that is) are soon to become extinct anyway, and sent to hell, there is a great benefit to being in hell as there are no woman there - or you live as individuals in peace.

2 Nephi 23:12
11 And I will punish the world for evil, and the wicked for their iniquity; I will cause the arrogancy of the proud to cease, and will lay down the haughtiness of the terrible.
12 I will make a man more precious than fine gold; even a man than the golden wedge of Ophir.
13 Therefore, I will shake the heavens, and the earth shall remove out of her place, in the wrath of the Lord of Hosts, and in the day of his fierce anger.

2 Nephi 13/14
16 Moreover, the Lord saith: Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched-forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet—
17 Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover their secret parts.
18 In that day the Lord will take away the bravery of their tinkling ornaments, and cauls, and round tires like the moon;
19 The chains and the bracelets, and the mufflers;
20 The bonnets, and the ornaments of the legs, and the headbands, and the tablets, and the ear-rings;
21 The rings, and nose jewels;
22 The changeable suits of apparel, and the mantles, and the wimples, and the crisping-pins;
23 The glasses, and the fine linen, and hoods, and the veils.
24 And it shall come to pass, instead of sweet smell there shall be stink; and instead of a girdle, a rent; and instead of well set hair, baldness; and instead of a stomacher, a girding of sackcloth; burning instead of beauty.
25 Thy men shall fall by the sword and thy mighty in the war.
26 And her gates shall lament and mourn; and she shall be desolate, and shall sit upon the ground.

1 And in that day, seven women shall take hold of one man, saying: We will eat our own bread, and wear our own apparel; only let us be called by thy name to take away our reproach.

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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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These stats include all persons about the age of 15 it is a natural result of change in attitude between the genders.,

Singles Now Make Up More Than Half the U.S. Adult Population. Here's Where They All Live
https://www.citylab.com/equity/2014/09/ ... ve/380137/

Half of Adults in Chicago Have Never Married, Study Says
https://www.dnainfo.com/chicago/2017012 ... ed-singles
CHICAGO — Nearly half of adults in the city have never been married, second-highest in the nation, according to a new study.
Some 49.7 percent of Chicago adults have never been married, just behind Philadelphia's 51.5 percent, according to the study by the Pew Charitable usts.
Nationally, about 33.5 percent of adults have never married, according to figures from 2015. Ten years earlier, about 28.1 percent of American adults had never been married.
The study used figures from the U.S. Census Bureau, which defines adults as those older than 15.
The United States is now a nation of singles. Single people make up just over half of all American adults for the first time since statistics have been collected, according to a study reported by Bloomberg last week.
But which states and metros have the highest and lowest shares of singles?
My Martin Prosperity Institute (MPI) colleague Charlotta Mellander crunched the U.S. Census figures on the share of American adults who are single, divorced or never married. According to these data, there were 128.2 million singles in the U.S. last year, or 51.2 percent of the population. These figures are similar to those in the study reported by Bloomberg, which was based on data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics and estimated that roughly 125 million Americans over the age of 16, or 50.2 percent, are currently single. That’s up from 37.6 percent in 1976.

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Rose Garden
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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Adults are those older than 15!? What!?

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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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inho wrote: May 30th, 2017, 2:08 am I must start with confessing that I haven't watched the video yet.

Meili wrote: May 29th, 2017, 3:46 pm This video is important not only because it helps you understand the problem of male/female dilemma but because it is an excellent discussion about prejudice in general. Anytime we generalize a population, whether it's men or women, blacks or whites, Mormons or Christians, etc., we are using the dehumanizing methods she discovered in herself as she made this documentary. You cannot ever find peace and love using those tools. The only way we will find love and peace in our lives is through looking at every single person as an individual who is deserving and in need of love, respect, concern, and so forth.
I am a bit worried that this is exactly what we are doing with feminists. We generalize them to stereotypes and then dehumanize them. Just like many see all Mormons as they see Warren Jeffs. Yet, not all feminists are bad. If we look at the definition Wikipedia gives, it doesn't sound so bad:
Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal, and social rights for women.
The problem is that for different people feminism means different things. I do not agree with all feminists in all things, yet I think that there still is room for feminism in the world.
You make a good point. Some feminists have a more balanced view. However, feminism of its nature makes it more difficult to not generalize because your focus is on a certain group of people. If you will focus on all individuals achieving political, economic, personal, and social rights, regardless of what gender, color, or religion they are, you can obtain the same effect but in a far more balanced way.

Special interests in law have created a very unbalanced system of "justice." A woman or Latino can sue for harassment in the workplace but a white male cannot. But if the laws said that anyone who was being harassed in the workplace (or any other place) could sue, then women and Latinos would still be able to take legal action and so would men. There would be justice for all, not just for some.

While some feminists may not be anti-men and may have a good understanding of male/female issues, the focus on one group of people tends to lead to the sort of thinking that creates these types of unfair laws. Any feminist could become a humanist by applying the same rights they desire for women to everyone and no one would be worse off for it.

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inho
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

Post by inho »

Meili wrote: May 30th, 2017, 4:25 am You make a good point. Some feminists have a more balanced view. However, feminism of its nature makes it more difficult to not generalize because your focus is on a certain group of people. If you will focus on all individuals achieving political, economic, personal, and social rights, regardless of what gender, color, or religion they are, you can obtain the same effect but in a far more balanced way.

Special interests in law have created a very unbalanced system of "justice." A woman or Latino can sue for harassment in the workplace but a white male cannot. But if the laws said that anyone who was being harassed in the workplace (or any other place) could sue, then women and Latinos would still be able to take legal action and so would men. There would be justice for all, not just for some.

While some feminists may not be anti-men and may have a good understanding of male/female issues, the focus on one group of people tends to lead to the sort of thinking that creates these types of unfair laws. Any feminist could become a humanist by applying the same rights they desire for women to everyone and no one would be worse off for it.
I get what you are saying. Yet, somehow I think that this kind of thinking is like saying that the fire department shouldn't focus on the house on fire, since all houses are equally important.
As long as we have groups that are not treated in the best possible way, is it wrong to focus on them? Obviously, this should be possible to do so that we do not push down one group while lifting another.

Spaced_Out
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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Meili wrote: May 30th, 2017, 4:08 am Adults are those older than 15!? What!?
Go figure it is the "U.S. Census Bureau, which defines adults as those older than 15" not sure what you guys get up to in America.
I don't think it has much to do with feminism even in Japan the same or worse issues.

In japan they now sell more adult diapers than baby diapers. A lot of the problems blamed on feminism have their roots in other issues like job security and cost of living, in a very turbulent world,and a very wicked world. Woman seek security but it is no longer to be found and can no longer be given or guaranteed. So woman have to become more independent - then it is all blamed on feminism when things fall apart - the root of the problems lie elsewhere...

Adult nappies 'outsell baby nappies'
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news ... es-4706474

Almost half of Japanese people aren't having sex -- and it could endanger the global economy
https://www.businessinsider.com.au/half ... ?r=US&IR=T
The Japanese press has taken to calling it sekkusu shinai shokogun: celibacy syndrome. Basically, the country just isn't that interested in sex ...

Japanese gov’t unveils plan to increase fertility rate…to 1.8
https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/japan ... ate-to-1.8
According to Japan's Asahi Shimbun news service, the number of Japanese births hit a record low in 2013 while the death rate was the highest since the end of World War II. Health ministry officials determined that the nation’s population fell by a record 244,000 for the year.
“Creating prosperous, bright and vital local communities is a priority for the Abe Cabinet. The wave of economic recovery must reach every corner of the nation," said Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in a press release announcing the birthrate improvement plan.
Shigeru Ishiba, minister in charge of overcoming population decline and reviving local economies, was more blunt. "Japan will die off" without proper countermeasures, he warned.
The long-term vision of the new policy is to keep Japan's population at about 100 million at least until 2060, by encouraging and helping younger people to get married and have babies.

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Rose Garden
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

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inho wrote: May 30th, 2017, 4:34 am
Meili wrote: May 30th, 2017, 4:25 am You make a good point. Some feminists have a more balanced view. However, feminism of its nature makes it more difficult to not generalize because your focus is on a certain group of people. If you will focus on all individuals achieving political, economic, personal, and social rights, regardless of what gender, color, or religion they are, you can obtain the same effect but in a far more balanced way.

Special interests in law have created a very unbalanced system of "justice." A woman or Latino can sue for harassment in the workplace but a white male cannot. But if the laws said that anyone who was being harassed in the workplace (or any other place) could sue, then women and Latinos would still be able to take legal action and so would men. There would be justice for all, not just for some.

While some feminists may not be anti-men and may have a good understanding of male/female issues, the focus on one group of people tends to lead to the sort of thinking that creates these types of unfair laws. Any feminist could become a humanist by applying the same rights they desire for women to everyone and no one would be worse off for it.
I get what you are saying. Yet, somehow I think that this kind of thinking is like saying that the fire department shouldn't focus on the house on fire, since all houses are equally important.
As long as we have groups that are not treated in the best possible way, is it wrong to focus on them? Obviously, this should be possible to do so that we do not push down one group while lifting another.
I do agree with what you are saying. To use your analogy, I would say, yes, if the "women's" house was the only one on fire, we would want the firemen focusing on it. However, everyone's houses are on fire but feminists are asking the firemen to only fight the women's fires.

If you haven't watched the video yet, I suggest doing so. It illustrates the problem very well. I've also come to many of the same conclusions​ as the woman in the video in my personal life. I've determined now to treat everyone with respect, no matter what their situation. I can testify that it is the only true way to peace.

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Rose Garden
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

Post by Rose Garden »

Spaced_Out wrote: May 30th, 2017, 5:27 am
Meili wrote: May 30th, 2017, 4:08 am Adults are those older than 15!? What!?
Go figure it is the "U.S. Census Bureau, which defines adults as those older than 15" not sure what you guys get up to in America.
I don't think it has much to do with feminism even in Japan the same or worse issues.

In japan they now sell more adult diapers than baby diapers. A lot of the problems blamed on feminism have their roots in other issues like job security and cost of living, in a very turbulent world,and a very wicked world. Woman seek security but it is no longer to be found and can no longer be given or guaranteed. So woman have to become more independent - then it is all blamed on feminism when things fall apart - the root of the problems lie elsewhere...

Adult nappies 'outsell baby nappies'
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news ... es-4706474

Almost half of Japanese people aren't having sex -- and it could endanger the global economy
https://www.businessinsider.com.au/half ... ?r=US&IR=T
The Japanese press has taken to calling it sekkusu shinai shokogun: celibacy syndrome. Basically, the country just isn't that interested in sex ...

Japanese gov’t unveils plan to increase fertility rate…to 1.8
https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/japan ... ate-to-1.8
According to Japan's Asahi Shimbun news service, the number of Japanese births hit a record low in 2013 while the death rate was the highest since the end of World War II. Health ministry officials determined that the nation’s population fell by a record 244,000 for the year.
“Creating prosperous, bright and vital local communities is a priority for the Abe Cabinet. The wave of economic recovery must reach every corner of the nation," said Prime Minister Shinzo Abe in a press release announcing the birthrate improvement plan.
Shigeru Ishiba, minister in charge of overcoming population decline and reviving local economies, was more blunt. "Japan will die off" without proper countermeasures, he warned.
The long-term vision of the new policy is to keep Japan's population at about 100 million at least until 2060, by encouraging and helping younger people to get married and have babies.
#-o If they are defining everyone over 15 as adult, then no wonder at least half aren't married. A good percentage of that population isn't even allowed to marry without parental permission and in some states, not allowed to marry at all.

Spaced_Out
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

Post by Spaced_Out »

Meili wrote: May 30th, 2017, 5:39 am #-o If they are defining everyone over 15 as adult, then no wonder at least half aren't married. A good percentage of that population isn't even allowed to marry without parental permission and in some states, not allowed to marry at all.
The statistics are comparable to the past where the same age was used. and there has been a strong decline in % not married which has even accelerated in the last few years.
Also the US population has aged and there is a lower percentage of persons in the youth age category which makes the statistics even more frightening.

Here is a graph - it also shows it is a long term trend and one cant put the blame on feminism.

Image

Image
Last edited by Spaced_Out on May 30th, 2017, 6:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Spaced_Out
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

Post by Spaced_Out »

What I also see in the graphs above there are turning points in 2000 and 2008 which can easily be related to economic crashes and uncertainties.

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Rose Garden
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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

Post by Rose Garden »

Spaced_Out wrote: May 30th, 2017, 6:06 am
Meili wrote: May 30th, 2017, 5:39 am #-o If they are defining everyone over 15 as adult, then no wonder at least half aren't married. A good percentage of that population isn't even allowed to marry without parental permission and in some states, not allowed to marry at all.
The statistics are comparable to the past where the same age was used. and there has been a strong decline in % not married which has even accelerated in the last few years.
Also the US population has aged and there is a lower percentage of persons in the youth age category which makes the statistics even more frightening.

Here is a graph - it also shows it is a long term trend and one cant put the blame on feminism.

Image

Image
Okay, that makes more sense now.

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Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

Post by Fiannan »

Ironically there are SJWs and Democrats laughing at the rise in white male suicides. However, even in tough times it is easier to survive as a married couple than single -- and mortality rates in all areas decrease as there is built-in social support. Better for young LDS people to marry than stay single and better that young single women who are LDS be open to marriage to older LDS males (be they widowers, converts or men whose wives left them) than to remain single and barren. From a public health standpoint marriage helps everyone.

Spaced_Out
captain of 1,000
Posts: 1795

Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

Post by Spaced_Out »

Fiannan wrote: May 30th, 2017, 9:02 am Ironically there are SJWs and Democrats laughing at the rise in white male suicides. However, even in tough times it is easier to survive as a married couple than single -- and mortality rates in all areas decrease as there is built-in social support. Better for young LDS people to marry than stay single and better that young single women who are LDS be open to marriage to older LDS males (be they widowers, converts or men whose wives left them) than to remain single and barren. From a public health standpoint marriage helps everyone.
That is only if you are able to maintain employment and sufficient income. Almost impossible to run a household with children with only 1 bread winner. Majority of divorce is due to financial issues... It is getting very dangerous decision to make.

brianj
captain of 1,000
Posts: 4066
Location: Vineyard, Utah

Re: Why I stopped being a feminist

Post by brianj »

Meili wrote: May 29th, 2017, 8:28 pm Do you know of any men jailed for contempt? I'm asking because my lawyer said that, at least here in Utah, that never actually happens. Legally, it's in the law and could happen, but he said judges just won't make that ruling. It doesn't really make sense to jail a man who can't pay child support. What better way to make sure he loses his job and won't be able to pay in the future? Not that something not making sense means courts won't do it . . .
Yes. Keep in mind that, although my profile says I live in Utah, the move happened two months after she filed for divorce. I lived in Washington state at the time. And no, I didn't move away from my child. My wife took him to live someplace she knows I can't afford to live or even visit.

I also know a few men who were laid off from their jobs and eventually found jobs paying much less - so much less that their monthly gross income was less than what they are ordered to pay in alimony and child support. Would you expect a judge to be reasonable, reducing their payments to something they can actually afford? They did and I did, but that's not what the judges did. These men fled the country and fled the continent. The men in this situation that I know fled to third world countries where they work under the table, making enough money to get by reasonably comfortably, but they live in constant fear that they will be discovered. If that happens they can expect to be extradited, flown to the US, and jailed for a long time.

Based on a child support estimator, if the judge orders the maximum amount of child support from me that he can then I won't be able to afford tithing or food. So I am really worried about what will happen. And when my wife moved to California she enrolled our child in a private school paid for by her wealthy parents, but in the divorce petition she asked for me to pay half that amount - about $14,000 per year. If that happens I will no longer be able to afford rent. I am praying for things to go well but, knowing the wickedness of the family court system, I don't have much faith behind those prayers.

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