What is this ^^^^ from?JohnnyL wrote:butterfly wrote:I really struggle with motherhood. Growing up, I couldn't wait to have my own babies. Now that I have them I feel like a failure on a daily basis. I hear a lot of sincere compliments from others saying that I'm a great mom, but most days I feel lost.
If I had a career, I could work and be very successful. Having a career would be nothing compared to motherhood- a career would be a breeze. My husband even seriously recommended that I go back to work because I really enjoyed my job before I left it. But I knew that going back to work wouldn't teach me the things I need to be learning.
Of course I love my babies and I'd do anything for them, but it is hard...really hard.
And granted, we don't really have any outside help and my husband and I average a date 2 times per year and hardly ever get to see each other during the week. But...we make it work.Well I do homeschooling and they all have morning chores and afternoon chores, those are in addition to cleaning up and helping with the babyYOu'd do anything for your babies? Would you be strict with them, hold them to a schedule, teach them, etc.?
Lol, maybe some moms do this, but not me. I try to avoid drama at all costs. I have a million different interests and enjoy learning practically anything new. Boredom is not something I suffer fromI know some mothers who are worn out because they love the drama their children bring (to their boring lives?).
I prepare most of our meals from scratch, all day, everyday. I don't think it's healthy to eat out of a box or a can. My kids like the food for the most part and we have minimal waste. I know what they like and as long as it's healthy, I'll make itThey "lOOOve them too much" to tell them it's not right to wear six outfits a day (cleanup, cleanup, laundry, laundry, laundry), much more hold them to it, then sit around and complain about and hate laundry, for example. Or they COOK lunch and dinner, but the kids often take a bite or two, then leave. (And guess what happens to the money...??)
I don't like fb. I don't even know how to post on fb. This forum has been a great opportunity to grow in my understanding of the gospel. If you ever note the time I'm on the forum, its usually between the hours of 11:30pm and 2am. That's because I'm up trying to put a child back to sleep and I struggle with going straight to sleep afterwards. But reading helps and I find the forum to be uplifting and relaxing.Since they're so tired doing endless laundry and cooking wasted meals, they don't have time for their children, so they sit them in front of the tv. That's ok, because it gives them time to text their friends and post on FB about how lonely their lives are (ironic, eh?).
In addition, we don't have TV channels. The kids do have some movies they can watch, but usually they've got school, chores, or they're playing outside.
So, what are you supposed to be learning? What are you supposed to be having them learn?
How to be loving, Christ- like people
I knew my wife would be healthier with work (she wouldn't do all those good things for herself, and friends weren't close by much), so she worked part-time (school hours) "outside" when the children were in junior high.
"I expect you to ask me out once a month; out means out; to arrange a babysitter from this list; to plan an activity, or an activity in addition to dinner. If you don't, it will add up." ?
My husband and I don't go out more than 2x/ yr because we don't have babysitters. Extended family will chip in is 2x/ yr. We've tried the youth in our stake and repeatedly we've had issues. I don't know if it's just our area, but the youth are pretty immature and irresponsible. Plus, babysitters are expensive. Even though my husband and I don't have to spend a dime to enjoy a date together, babysitters do cost money.
So I'm not complaining about motherhood because I'm lonely or bored. I'm saying that I do my absolute best and am exhausted. A full- time job is nowhere near the amount of time and energy I put into being a mom and a wife. I honestly don't understand how other moms do this. And it's not like there's any immediate compensation or review letting you know if you're doing things correctly. There's usually at least 1 kid who's mad at you. You don't get a paycheck that says "hey, your child vomited all over you last night, so we're paying you overtime." I have no way of knowing if in 20 yrs my child will be resentful for something I messed up today.
So I feel lost. Am I doing a good job? I have no idea. Am I trying my best? Definitely. Is my best good enough? I guess I'll find out in 20 years ;)
Thanks for your advice. Are you of the opinion that motherhood just comes naturally and is wonderful and easy as long as you do it right? Because that's what they told me in young women's.
However one sister I respect told me that for those who do it right, motherhood is actually really difficult.