Should I say something?

[linj2fly]

sen6b wrote: The older one even slammed my 8 year olds head into the wall at church once, it was an accident but instead of apologizing he just laughed and said that was epic.

So they go door to door looking for somewhere to play but nobody wants to because they are rude, and disrespectful, and steal, and they argue with adults.

C'mon people--this is aggressive behavior--with parents who are tired or oblivious at best and neglectful users at worst (pawning off the kids incessantly/locking kids out of the house). It's more than wiggle warts and noisy kids or children with special needs...........sorry, serious boundaries are in order. I feel really sorry for the kids. Don't know what to say about the parents. They need some help, too, but not any further enabling. I mean, really, if my kid bashed another child's head into the wall, even accidentally, I, as the parent would be so apologetic, and correct my child and guide him in an apology.

[FoxMammaWisdom]

[Desert Roses]

sen6b wrote: The older one even slammed my 8 year olds head into the wall at church once, it was an accident but instead of apologizing he just laughed and said that was epic.

So they go door to door looking for somewhere to play but nobody wants to because they are rude, and disrespectful, and steal, and they argue with adults.

C'mon people--this is aggressive behavior--with parents who are tired or oblivious at best and neglectful users at worst (pawning off the kids incessantly/locking kids out of the house). It's more than wiggle warts and noisy kids or children with special needs...........sorry, serious boundaries are in order. I feel really sorry for the kids. Don't know what to say about the parents. They need some help, too, but not any further enabling. I mean, really, if my kid bashed another child's head into the wall, even accidentally, I, as the parent would be so apologetic, and correct my child and guide him in an apology.

Kids who are bullies are often being bullied at home...There's not usually any good outcomes or answers, unless one or both the parents feel a need to repent and get humble. My guess, after reading more of the children's behavior, is that verbal/emotional aggression is the norm in their home, and if it's dad who's aggressive and mom is just managing to cope by hiding in her Mary Kay business, these kids are learning some really negative stuff--and it's not their fault. One thing that has been shown to change outcomes of kids being abused (yeah...I said that) is to have someone at church, in the extended family, or in the community who accepts them unconditionally, sets clear and healthy limits, and shows them what it means to love. Maybe, sen6b, you aren't the right one for that because of your difficulty with the behavior, but I hope some Primary teacher,YM/YW leader, or other person in their lives is, or it will just be repeated in the next generation.

[linj2fly]

sen6b wrote: The older one even slammed my 8 year olds head into the wall at church once, it was an accident but instead of apologizing he just laughed and said that was epic.

So they go door to door looking for somewhere to play but nobody wants to because they are rude, and disrespectful, and steal, and they argue with adults.

C'mon people--this is aggressive behavior--with parents who are tired or oblivious at best and neglectful users at worst (pawning off the kids incessantly/locking kids out of the house). It's more than wiggle warts and noisy kids or children with special needs...........sorry, serious boundaries are in order. I feel really sorry for the kids. Don't know what to say about the parents. They need some help, too, but not any further enabling. I mean, really, if my kid bashed another child's head into the wall, even accidentally, I, as the parent would be so apologetic, and correct my child and guide him in an apology.

Kids who are bullies are often being bullied at home...There's not usually any good outcomes or answers, unless one or both the parents feel a need to repent and get humble. My guess, after reading more of the children's behavior, is that verbal/emotional aggression is the norm in their home, and if it's dad who's aggressive and mom is just managing to cope by hiding in her Mary Kay business, these kids are learning some really negative stuff--and it's not their fault. One thing that has been shown to change outcomes of kids being abused (yeah...I said that) is to have someone at church, in the extended family, or in the community who accepts them unconditionally, sets clear and healthy limits, and shows them what it means to love. Maybe, sen6b, you aren't the right one for that because of your difficulty with the behavior, but I hope some Primary teacher,YM/YW leader, or other person in their lives is, or it will just be repeated in the next generation.

Too true, which is why I said I felt sorry for the kids. boundaries/healthy limits = real love. (btw, I'd be really surprised if this family is NOT discussed in ward council. Maybe, sen, you could talk to your RS pres about some of this and seek council on how you should approach/address these issues since they know the situation better than we do).

[Hyrcanus]

You have two ways you can approach this:

1. Have a straightforward but caring conversation with her. Express your desire to help and then present your two main concerns along with possible solutions. For example: "Sister Jones, I want to help you, I understand the challenge you have trying to start a business and raise a family. I have a concern that I'd like to see if we can work out a solution to. I have trouble saying no when you ask for help, but sometimes you catch me when I have quite a bit to do. I have a possible solution to this if it works for you, I can watch your kids every Thursday from 10am - 2pm. Maybe you can work out something similar with some of the other women in the ward, that would make it more predictable for all of us. How does that sound".

Don't give her a long list of grievances or get nasty, just a couple calmly delivered ideas.

2. The next time you watch her kids, treat her kids exactly as you would treat yours. If they misbehave, put them in the corner. If they hurt someone, they do their chores. Obviously you wouldn't spank or otherwise lay hands on them. Make it clear to the children that when they are in your home, they'll abide by the same rules. It probably won't fix the issues at Church, but I've found that kids adapt quickly to their environment. As Desert Roses suggested, if you give kids boundaries it pays dividends for them and for you.

[marc]

Hey Jules I'm even heading down to SLC tonight with my crew (RS)..... we could settle this once and for all with an all out throw down. Whatta ya say? ;)

Pictures or it didn't happen!! :ymdevil:

[FoxMammaWisdom]

Hey Jules I'm even heading down to SLC tonight with my crew (RS)..... we could settle this once and for all with an all out throw down. Whatta ya say? ;)

;)

[creator]

And here is a preview of what to expect from tonight's showdown...

[Eglantine]

This lady sounds like someone my brother complained about it his ward. Maybe they are the same person? Ha ha! Anyways, I know it is so difficult. I have five children and my husband is not a member. He is also military so I have to be alone with those kids a lot. I don't care if someone says something to my kids when they act up. I say "thank you" and "sorry my kids were out of control". I grew up in Southern culture where the kids are taught to respect adults so that might be part of it. We also don't mind if someone else tells our kids to straighten up.

Though struggling with all five by myself is tough, I have done it. My kids aren't perfect, but they know my expectations. I have spent many a Sunday in tears out of exhaustion from keeping the kids from acting like hooligans. It does pay off eventually. Maybe many parents don't do anything because it is hard work to teach a kid to be respectful. Extremely hard work!!

If their kids are horrible in church, offer them a paper and pencil or a snack. That usually helped me in the past. It warmed my heart that people were trying to help me. It also made my kids aware of other people.

About the babysitting, I don't have advice. One way I got out of babysitting was refusing to clean up poopy underwear. I threw them away instead of saving them so I was never asked to babysit again. I cried once but that was because my husband was deployed and I was stuck with all of my kids and didn't have the strength to watch another's kids all of the time. I only had the opportunity of living close to other members of the church once and I honestly hated it. I moved to an area without a lot of members to get away to be honest. Less pressure, stress, and gossip. My daughter is babysitting age so I don't need to find babysitters anymore.

Good luck!

[FoxMammaWisdom]

Oh it's on!! Temple square 7:30. Bring some funeral potatoes :)) :ymdevil:

JUST. WOW. I showed -- Right in front of the Christus statue, with my fighting tape and funeral potatoes, and she bagged on me. 8-|

[linj2fly]

hahaha! nice! too bad it was a failed meet up. was looking forward to some drama

[FoxMammaWisdom]

OK girl, so you got this one \M/ .

But next RS Super Saturday........ :-w ....... :YMBRINGITON:

[Honor]

You guys made me lol. Thanks for that.

[FoxMammaWisdom]

Oh it's on!! Temple square 7:30. Bring some funeral potatoes :)) :ymdevil:

JUST. WOW. I showed -- Right in front of the Christus statue, with my fighting tape and funeral potatoes, and she bagged on me. 8-|

Remember... pictures or it didn't happen. Owned!!!!

PART951404962059495952014070995202324.jpg

P.S. who is that dude behind you doing the chicken dance with you? :-\

[KMCopeland]

You should definitely say something. Be sure it's polite and respectful. But really -- you're doing her a favor.

And yes, obnoxious people are usually totally unaware of how obnoxious they are. It's up to their actual friends (as opposed to their fake friends) to help them see it. She won't be grateful at first. But some day, she will be.

[FoxMammaWisdom]

OK girl, so you got this one \M/ .

But next RS Super Saturday........ :-w ....... :YMBRINGITON:

What is RS Super Saturday...I feel like I should know the answer to this but I don't. :-B

It's a sacred LDS ritual gathering where the adult women of the church congregate for an entire afternoon - usually on a Saturday, eating food they swear off of during the week when their husbands are around, and they work toward becoming Godesses - making crafty stuff to adorn their homes for the next 11 months before the items are delivered to the DI, and replaced by a creation from next year's sacred gathering.

[Steve Clark]

OK girl, so you got this one \M/ .

But next RS Super Saturday........ :-w ....... :YMBRINGITON:

What is RS Super Saturday...I feel like I should know the answer to this but I don't. :-B

It's a sacred LDS ritual gathering where the adult women of the church congregate for an entire afternoon - usually on a Saturday, eating food they swear off of during the week when their husbands are around, and they work toward becoming Godesses - making crafty stuff to adorn their homes for the next 11 months before the items are delivered to the DI, and replaced by a creation from next year's sacred gathering.

=))

[FoxMammaWisdom]

...and he yells "sonovabiscuit" if he loses his game - no matter whose virgin ears are around to hear it (and yes, the stares I get are amusing)

Dang forum swear filters.... that's not the word my son uses... /:)

[FoxMammaWisdom]

It's a sacred LDS ritual gathering where the adult women of the church congregate for an entire afternoon - usually on a Saturday, eating food they swear off of during the week when their husbands are around, and they work toward becoming Godesses - making crafty stuff to adorn their homes for the next 11 months before the items are delivered to the DI, and replaced by a creation from next year's sacred gathering.

Is that in Provo? ;)

As far as I know, this ritual is global; I've never been to a Provo ward. However I'm not worthy of attending the RSSS gatherings - as I don't adorn my home with re-purposed chair-backs made into various temple statues, or pictures from old Ensigns used to decoupage picture frames. YMWHISTLE :-$

[FoxMammaWisdom]

hmmm never even heard of any of those things. Haha I prefersspray painting EVERYTHING!!

Behold, the spoils of RSSS:

https://www.google.com/search?q=relief+ ... 00&bih=776

[creator]

Oh it's on!! Temple square 7:30. Bring some funeral potatoes :)) :ymdevil:

JUST. WOW. I showed -- Right in front of the Christus statue, with my fighting tape and funeral potatoes, and she bagged on me. 8-|

Oh man, I lost a lot of money on this bet...

cat fight

cat-fight.jpg (124.27 KiB) Viewed 1348 times

[BMC]

Gotta love photoshop!

[FoxMammaWisdom]

Oh man, I lost a lot of money on this bet...

cat-fight.jpg

What the H?? THAT is not how I remember it....... @-)

[FoxMammaWisdom]

it's because I put you in a choke hold and you passed out and it affected your memory. Totally understandable.

Oh this is SO not over.....