YOu'd do anything for your babies? Would you be strict with them, hold them to a schedule, teach them, etc.?butterfly wrote:I really struggle with motherhood. Growing up, I couldn't wait to have my own babies. Now that I have them I feel like a failure on a daily basis. I hear a lot of sincere compliments from others saying that I'm a great mom, but most days I feel lost.
If I had a career, I could work and be very successful. Having a career would be nothing compared to motherhood- a career would be a breeze. My husband even seriously recommended that I go back to work because I really enjoyed my job before I left it. But I knew that going back to work wouldn't teach me the things I need to be learning.
Of course I love my babies and I'd do anything for them, but it is hard...really hard.
And granted, we don't really have any outside help and my husband and I average a date 2 times per year and hardly ever get to see each other during the week. But...we make it work.
I know some mothers who are worn out because they love the drama their children bring (to their boring lives?).
They "lOOOve them too much" to tell them it's not right to wear six outfits a day (cleanup, cleanup, laundry, laundry, laundry), much more hold them to it, then sit around and complain about and hate laundry, for example. Or they COOK lunch and dinner, but the kids often take a bite or two, then leave. (And guess what happens to the money...??) Since they're so tired doing endless laundry and cooking wasted meals, they don't have time for their children, so they sit them in front of the tv. That's ok, because it gives them time to text their friends and post on FB about how lonely their lives are (ironic, eh?).
So, what are you supposed to be learning? What are you supposed to be having them learn?
I knew my wife would be healthier with work (she wouldn't do all those good things for herself, and friends weren't close by much), so she worked part-time (school hours) "outside" when the children were in junior high.
"I expect you to ask me out once a month; out means out; to arrange a babysitter from this list; to plan an activity, or an activity in addition to dinner. If you don't, it will add up." ?